Entries by TATIANA

I am a total giver.....if I might say that about myself. I love surprising people with gifts, cards, something small but thoughtful, to show that I care and remember whomever it is that I am giving something to. It doesn't have to be a birthday, the occasion can be Just Because.
The joy of giving is the joy you feel in your heart when you know that you might be putting a smile on somebody's face and give them a good feeling inside. It's enriching for my soul to give. Of course I like receiving too (who doesn't) but giving really makes me feel good.
A friend's birthday is coming up, a very dear friend. She lives in Sweden. I miss her so much. In fact I miss all my friends in Sweden so very very much. Especially tonight. I'm going through a difficult time right now, something happened but I don't want to write about it yet (or ever). I'm unharmed physically but my heart hurts and I feel helpless, very sad and very lonely. I feel like I only have Chhaya here, my TRUE friend. I hope everything will be OK soon, it must be.
Tomorrow I might go to the post office and send this. The girl working at Northcountry Fair wrapped the stuff I got there so nicely. It looks beautiful!



I hope all of you are OK and happy out there, wherever you might be.

Me and Boss Lady don't see eye to eye on a few things (related to work) but when it comes to animals she has her heart in the right place. She has three very loved and spoiled dogs of her own and we both agree on that dogs should be loved and spoiled. Unfortunately not everybody agrees. A large amount of dogs recently got rescued here and found a new home at Alaska’s Extended Life Animal Sanctuary in Nikiski.
Here is some of what was said in the Peninsula Clarion last week about the rescue.
"With bellies still swollen from a lack of food, 35 dogs are on their way to recovery after being rescued Monday. The dogs had been housed in a 10--by-20-foot room and most of the animals likely had never been outside. The crew lined up kennels and loaded the dogs with little hassle and the owners were grateful for the help. “They were doing the best they could,” Whipp said about the owners, who willingly surrendered the animals. Of the 35 dogs — primarily a mix of miniature huskies and border collies — nine are four weeks old, 11 are 1-week-old puppies and two of the dogs are pregnant."
Boss Lady read the article and had a small fund raiser at work Thursday night. Boss Lady is a natural at getting money, she is a better hustler than a persistent gypsy at the market in Istanbul. In no time she had collected $300 and that was on a slow night too. She wrote a check and asked me if I could make a trip out to Nikiski the following day to deliver it.
Of course I could! Boss Lady knows how I feel about animals.



I met the two people running the sanctuary - Sue and Tim, very nice people. They appreciated the check and the treats that I brought along and got very happy when I told them where the money came from. I was there for a while talking to them and petting the dogs. They told me that there is a lot of animal abuse and neglect in this state. As well as rape and child abuse and neglect (that was also discussed amongst us). For the state with the least population the numbers are very high when it comes to violent and cruel acts against women, children and animals, pretty disturbing. That people think it's normal, don't know any better or "were doing the best they could" is something that I don't buy. I am more realistic in my approach to certain situations. You know damn well if you abuse or neglect an animal or a child and IF for some reason you don't, then you should not be allowed to breed your off spring (mandatory sterilization) or have the privilege of being a pet owner. I'm tired of inexcusable behaviors getting excused time after time. And don't fucking breed your pets! Your dog is not some kind of a money making machine for your greedy ass. Have you stopped and worried about what happens to those puppies or kittens that get sold on Craigslist, do you even care? Selfish assholes.
I am going to suggest to Boss Lady that we have a few more fund raisers for the animal sanctuary, they are in need. Here are some pics of the dogs that were rescued.....all of them very sweet.





Then there was this boy that just wanted to be close to me and give me kisses. His "owner" had shot him in the leg and just left him. That exact treatment should be bestowed upon whoever did this to that dog. Well, he was happy when I saw him, wagging his tail and smiling. He has a rod in his hip that will be taken out and he should be good.



A statement I very much agree with. I actually think that people that have kids and can't take care of them for whatever reason, neglect them or abuse them should be sterilized.
That should be the law. Don't make babies until you know that you can be there for them in every possible way. Until then, keep your legs closed, your dick in your pants, use protection or have an abortion - you have options.



I felt a bit sad when I left the animal sanctuary......Chhaya next to me in the car as we drove off. I need to pay that place another visit at some point. And while browsing the Peninsula Clarion tonight I came across this article that I agree with.

http://peninsulaclarion.com/opinion/letters/2014-08-13/borough-must-open-eyes-to-animal-abuse-neglect

There is a mention in it about the Kenai Peninsula being the armpit of Alaska and I have myself thought that on a few occasions. I have seen some very questionable examples of parents here. Drinking is out of control. Drugs. People are throwing their trash all over.
All that bad stuff, it's like a very trashy episode of Jerry Springer. Of course not everybody is like this but many are, too many. GROW UP and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your actions!
And step up those parenting skills.

I'm tired......long day. Productive day, good! Earlier when I had energy I thought I would actually make it to work tonight but no. I'm actually really tired. I had an OK Friday night and a good Saturday night, a fun night too - so I'm happy and content.
Let's see, a very annoying man offered to put me up in a condo in Anchorage, no more work for me he promised.....oh let me not forget....a very annoying married man. He came in Friday and Saturday, I finally had to run away from him. No thanks. You are annoying AND married, I'm not interested in either.
Then some guy thought he was going to be deep and different with me and told me to just lose all the stripper bs.....you know the façade, the "everything" and just be REAL. Hmmmmm........actually I AM real. I don't play any stupid games at work or outside of work, no weird and fake personality, you just don't know me and you won't ever know me because people like that, that assume they are coming with a different approach when in fact I have heard it before and it's also not true when it comes to me, well I don't have patience for that.
I just walk away. Then he yelled after me, "I'm not going to give you any money." Newsflash, I didn't even ask you for any money and you came up to ME.....NOT the other way around. Later he tried to apologize, I ignored him, I am very good at that.
One of my loudest, prettiest and most fun "fans" came in. Her name is Sarah and she lives in Anchorage, for some reason she really likes me and every so often she will come here and visit me. She very loudly compliments me when I'm on stage and is rather generous, we exchanged numbers last night and she wants me to come and work at The Bush Company so she can see me there. Maybe, I have entertained the thought. The only thing stopping me is that I don't want to be in any club at 4 pm.....until 2 am, later on weekends. Grueling. But I might be able to deal with it for two weeks.
Oh, so I collect compliments. The usual ones.....pretty, beautiful. gorgeous, nice hair, nice this.....nice that, well we have all heard it all before. It goes in one ear and out the other.
I think every girl gets those, depending on the intention of the person giving the compliment, so I don't really take it seriously. But I got a good one last night. A couple was in and after my stage their friend came up and wondered, "what it would take for his buddy and his lady to get entertained by my perfection". Awwwww, how sweet!
Friday night a guy decided that I was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, now come on! It's not that dark in the club! He needs to travel the world or at least leave the state......I did blush a little though. EVER? Wow.

Today I had a pedicure. After searching desperately for at least a decent pedicure in this village I finally settled for Tina at Nail Boutique in Kenai. I've had some nightmare pedicures in Alaska, the standard of service that I am accustomed to and expect is sometimes lackluster here, in many areas. The worst pedi ever in the history of BAD pedicures for me happened at Allure Spa in Anchorage. Anyhow, Tina is OK. If I am going to spend money on a pedicure around here it will be with her only.
I dream of the pedicures I have read about, with a true pedicure master like Bastien Gonzalez, frequently hailed as the world's best pedicurist. An appointment with him lasts as long as it takes and the wealthy send their private jets to pick him up. Or maybe one day I will be able to visit Samuel So at the Mandarin Oriental in Hong Kong, the resident foot master. After a long soak he goes to work on your feet. "The result: feet so smooth that it feels sacrilegious to walk on them" according to an article I read. Another place not as far away is Jin Soon Chi's salon in New York, where your feet get an essential oil foot bath and the option to be coated in a thick layer of volcanic clay. THAT is the kind of pedicure I want. Not just somebody that haplessly cuts a few cuticles and slaps on some nail polish and then wants $40 for it. There is an art to the craft after all.
I hope you will enjoy my artsy sparkly heels and ESSIE nail polish pictures. I got creative just for you!





At Nail Boutique in Kenai......not Bastien Gonzalez but better than some other places around here.......I have decided.

I worked last night and scraped together $56 but I'm still happy. Mandy thinks that I am wasting my time and getting the life sucked out of me, I KNOW and I agree but I can't possibly travel all the time, I just can't. I have Chhaya. Half of the time I go into work here it's a waste of my time and it's also so completely unmotivating that I don't even try to make money. Because there is nobody to make it from or the way some girls make their money is just not how I make money. But I am not going to live off my savings. Although it's a waste of my time I usually have FUN.
Have you ever seen a strip club mistletoe? We have one.....it's a pair of panties and a tampon. And no, I did not hang it there, although that is my kind of humor......and no, it's not a used tampon. We are a classy place after all!



Would you like to make a NEW BREAST FRIEND? Instead of a best friend you can make a breast friend!



Talking on the couch with my friend Grady, he comes in almost every night to say HI, he is part of the furniture in the place.



I'm thinking tonight can't get any worse that $56 so I'm going to give it a try again.

I got a strong craving for huevos rancheros this afternoon, so I stopped by Maria's where they make a very spicy huevos dish with lots of jalapenos and green hot salsa, very good. Then I went home, skipped the gym and thought I would go running instead but it just started raining. A real downpour, a repeat from yesterday......I was out walking with Chhaya and the sun was shining and then all of a sudden the sky opened up and it started raining hard.



Earlier today I saw a fallen leaf.....then I spotted some more. Is fall creeping up on us? Already? To fast, to soon.



It looks like the rain is about to stop, I need to take Chhaya out and perhaps I will squeeze in a 30 minute run before work tonight.