Welcome to Chaos !!

What does Tatiana do at work......besides actually work? You know asking for lap dances gets boring sometimes......
Well, she reads other times she sits around and tells funny stories and sometimes she gets creative and does artwork a la Tatiana. Like decorate the soles of her stripper shoes. And yes, Tatiana is the NUMBER 1 with this idea and she has a patent. Soon all the strippers will wear shoes with messages, names, images etc on the soles of their stripper heels. And Tatiana will rake in the ca$h because she has got the patent. 🙂
So don't even think about stealing Tatiana's idea you sneaky little creatures!
Here are some early prototypes that Tatiana is sharing with ya'll.

It's late here in Kenai - pitch black and 46 degrees outside. After working six nights in a row, I decided, after some hesitation to stay home tonight.
Halloween is coming up and I can't wait to go to one or a few Haunted Houses in Vegas, I love that feeling of being scared. I scream really loud when I go through Haunted Houses, it is so much fun. Only been to one here in Alaska, back in 2009 and that one was in Wasilla. And it was a good one!
Speaking of scary, I remember watching some kind of a Dracula movie when I was little, it made me so spooked I couldn't sleep for a while. I thought Dracula was going to come and get me.
The Hulk tv series also made me scared, I used to imaging that the Hulk was lurking in the dark corners of my room even though I knew that he really was a nice monster, but he looked really scary to me back then.
When I was 13 I watched Evil Dead with a friend at her house, well about 30 minutes of it, then her Dad came home and made us turn it off - I STILL have flashbacks to that movie, talk about a scared 13 year old!
Now I do like to watch scary movies, well part of me does, I am fascinated with them and part of me thinks that I shouldn't subject my mind to them because they somehow affect me on a deeper level. I also think that certain movies like the Hostel movies and the Saw movies can fuel already disturbed people and actually trigger them to go out and do something similar.
At least it worries me.
Now I am kind of tempted to watch three movies that I have heard about, don't know if any of you have heard of them or seen them.....
A Serbian Film - this film is banned in a few countries. I am tempted to watch it but that doesn't mean that I will. I am scared that I would be too traumatized by it. It has extremely graphic, very disturbing and sickening scenes in it, rape, raping of children, even infants, necrophilia.
At the first ever screening of the film a couple of years ago, audience members were coaxed to go on the stage — "where they jointly snorted lines of salt, squeezed lime juice into their eyes and took shots of tequila in order to "understand what Serbians have been through to create a culture of A Serbian Film".
That makes me remember when the war in former Yugoslavia was going on. I heard many stories from people I knew in Sweden, some Serbs, some Croatians, other Macedonians or Bosnians, a few had some violent and crazy horror stories about the war in former Yugoslavia where people seemingly had lived peacefully and coexisting and then when the war broke out they turned on each other in the most horrific ways.
Yes, I heard my share of stories......my boyfriend for some time was Serbian, although born in Sweden and I always thought that Serbians sure knew how to lay in on thick when lamenting on and on about the war, making sure they were always painted out as the victims. And to be fair, many Serbs did suffer during the war. But they were also committing some serious harm. The notorious Serbian Mafia is known for spreading it's filth and scare tactics around Europe, the were absolutely present in Sweden, mentioned in many novels, for example in Stieg Larson's books about Lisbet Salander - on of my personal heroes.
As far as The Serbian Film goes, I believe it is legal in the US, though it was pulled from Netflix. I am wondering if the scenes with raping children and even a baby would somehow make the movie illegal to watch? I know that they could not possibly have really raped a child and a baby on camera but I guess it is depicted like they do by the actors.
Another movie I want to watch and that I am going to watch is The Human Centipede . There is a sequel to it too, might watch that one too depending on how I react to the first one. Two very controversial movies as well.
The third movie is Cannibal Holocaust . Actually the director was charged with making a snuff film right after the movie premiered but was later cleared on the charges, that it pretty crazy! The only reason I most likely will refrain from watching it is because they did kill some animals on purpose in the film, some of the actors cried during the scenes. I know I won't be able handle that.
I should probably clarify here that I would never watch a real snuff film or any footage with real child pornography/rape. Of course not!
I wouldn't know where to find such material neither would I want to. The films I have mentioned are all available for viewing in the US -legally.
But you should keep in mind that some of the porn out there is basically rape. At least that's how I see it. Sure the girls are supposedly 18 but I think many of them hardly know what they are getting themselves into. Some get drunk or drug themselves to be numb and loosen up. To me that's rape even though I guess legally it would count as consensual sex. I think it is a rape of your soul. Not to mention a violation of your body. But to each their own. I have said it before in discussing porn, I think they should up the age for girls from 18 to about 23, so the girls that get involved in that business are more mature to make a decision regarding if they should subject themselves to all what the porn industry entails.
Enough gore for now. It's Sunday and I will say my prayers before I go to sleep tonight.

It's almost 5 AM and I am about to take a warm bath and relax in it for a while. Got home from a night of work that felt like it was dragging on forever. But it's over now and I am back at home, munching on a salad.
I had a lingering headache all night long and then somebody blew some nasty cigarette smoke really close to me while I took a breath and I inhaled that smoke and got super nauseous and was close to throwing up the last hour I was at work. I must have looked miserable because guys were acting very "concerned" asking the other dancers and the bartender why I looked sad/upset/sat by myself and bla bla bla. Exhausting! A few sent over drinks. I only drink soda water and cranberry juice at work (occasionally coffee) so it's not like I am going to have a shot and feel much better right away. Well, the miserable look must have been popular tonight because I left with close to the amount of this years Permanent Fund Dividend, or maybe they just felt sorry for me? Oh well, either way.
I wish work was smoke free, I do not like to be subjected to cigarette smoke - it's gross and unhealthy. When I was 13 I smoked for about a month, thinking I was a cool little girl or something. Well, I felt ill every time I took a drag of a cigarette, I am happy that it didn't become a bad habit.
It is time for that bath now.......I feel like a tired ashtray.

"In the city of Syracuse in Sicily there is a spring called Arethusa that has an interesting story. Once, Arethusa was not a spring but a beautiful young Greek huntress and a follower of Artemis. Like the goddess, she would have nothing to do with men. She loved running and hunting in the forest. One day after an exhausting hunt, she came to a crystal clear stream shaded by silvery willows. She decided to take a swim, and slipped into the water and swam about in utter peace for a while. Then she seemed to feel something beneath her in the water. Frightened, she scampered out of the water, and heard a voice that seemed to come from the water. "Why are you leaving, fair maiden?"
Now terrified, she ran into the forest as fast as she could. She was pursued by one stronger, if not swifter than she. The voice of the unknown told her that he was Alpheus, the god of the river, and that he was only following because he loved her. She ran on, but she could never escape; a river, after all, can run longer than any mortal. Finally, completely exhausted, Arethusa called out to Artemis, and the goddess answered by changing her into a spring, but not an ordinary spring. Aretmis cut the earth so that an underground channel was made from Greece all the way to Sicily. Arethusa plunged down and emerged near Syracuse where the spring bubbles forth today, on land sacred to Artemis. Alpheus, being a river god, turned himself back into a river, and plunged down the same channel. Arethusa was not free of Alpheus. Their waters mingled. Even today, you can believe it or not, that Greek flowers are sometimes seen in the Sicilian spring, and if you throw a wooden cup in the Alpheus river in Greece, it will reappear in Arethusa's spring."
(Source - Wikipedia)



"A nymph in Greek mythology is a minor female nature deity typically associated with a particular location or landform. There are 5 different types of nymphs, Celestial Nymphs, Sea Nymphs, Land Nymphs, Wood Nymphs and Underworld Nymphs. Different from goddesses, nymphs are generally regarded as divine spirits who animate nature, and are usually depicted as beautiful, young nubile maidens who love to dance and sing; their amorous freedom sets them apart from the restricted and chaste wives and daughters of the Greek polis. They are believed to dwell in mountains and groves, by springs and rivers, and also in trees and in valleys and cool grottoes. Although they would never die of old age nor illness, and could give birth to fully immortal children if mated to a god, they themselves were not necessarily immortal, and could be beholden to death in various forms.
Nymphs tended to frequent areas distant from humans but could be encountered by lone travelers outside the village, where their music might be heard, and the traveler could spy on their dancing or bathing in a stream or pool, either during the noon heat or in the middle of the night. They might appear in a whirlwind. Such encounters could be dangerous, bringing dumbness, besotted infatuation, madness or stroke to the unfortunate human."
(Source - Wikipedia)



Photographer Gutierrez Photography.

The other day I read an online article about 92 puppies that were found abandoned along a country road in Texas......a few days later 42 more dogs were found.
SO SAD! 😥
All the dogs are believed to come from a puppy mill operation. All of the animals were filthy and "may have lived under horrible conditions." Yes, most likely they did live under horrible conditions because puppy mills are just that - HORRIBLE.

Or how about the guy that went on a difficult climb up a mountain with a friend and took his dog up there. When the conditions on the mountain supposedly became bad and the dogs paws were full of sores, he just LEFT his dog up there to die. Two other hikers found it and organized a rescue group to take the severely injured, very scared and probably sad dog down from the mountain. The original owner wanted the dog back, he was denied the rights to his dog, instead she got adopted by the couple that rescued her. Good call on that one I say! And how can you just leave your dog like that? Unbelievable!

Puppy mills are very bad business. Please do not get a puppy that might come from a puppy mill. Do some research first.
I also have a very hard time with people that breed their dogs to make a quick buck with no qualms whatsoever about what's going to happen to the puppies. ESPECIALLY the people that breed pitbulls like that. I have a soft spot for pitbulls since my Chhaya is a pitbull. SO many of the dogs in animal shelters are either pitbulls or mixed pit breeds. Many people get a pitbull and then don't have the means or don't know how to take care of one and then abandon the dog.
Recently a dog fighting ring, described as "horrific", in Bronx got busted and yes all the dogs were pitbulls. HORRIFIC is just a scratch on the surface, people that treat animals like that should be put away for at least ten years, they do not belong in society.



I could had made a small fortune breeding Chhaya, I've had MANY requests to do so. I would never do it, what is more important? The well being of my beloved dog and her puppies, or money? My dog of course!!!!
The best thing you can do if you want a dog is to get a rescue dog. Hands down. Kudos to those who do! ❤
I did not get Chhaya from a shelter. I got her from a couple in Vegas that I strongly suspect let their female pit have many puppies for a nice profit (at least two litters I think). Both of Chhaya's parents were on site, the puppies were well cared for and the place was clean. But still.
Chhaya is the light of my life, I do everything for her. Before you get a dog, stop and consider the responsibility that comes with that. You have to invest both financially and time wise. Chhaya eats a lot, needs care like brushing and going to the vet. She needs a good long walk every day (though she doesn't like walks when it's raining) and fun adventures. Play. She has been on top of Mount Charleston outside Las Vegas and Mount San Gorgonio in CA, Flattop outside Anchorage, many fun hikes and visited hot springs. If you are a lazy and unmotivated person in general then a large breed dog or a high energy dog might not be the right fit for you. Get a toy breed or a cat, or maybe a lizard or a fish.

So the people living in Alaska, that qualify, got this years Permanent Fund Dividend. The amount? $ 878.00. About $ 300 less than last year, how much it is each year depends on the return on some big investments......or something like that.
So, everybody is clear on what to do with their money right? Come and give it to ME this weekend. Ok, GOOD!
What am I doing with my dividend? Not sure.....adding most of it to my savings account probably.
My trip to South Dakota next week, including the rental car is going to cost me around $ 1320. And that's not counting bag fees for flying and my hotel room. This is all coming out of MY pocket. Most people that travel for work get all of, or at least most of their travel expenses covered by the company they work for. But as a dancer you are self employed. Some clubs, not many, will pay you an hourly wage or a flat rate weekly salary. Also, the majority of the clubs will charge each dancer a "house fee" each night. Not to mention the tips that you give to the other people you work with in the club. Like "house moms", dj and (sometimes) bar staff.

I have been out and about since 11 AM and achieved a lot today. But my day is far from over - I am only taking a small break to squeeze in a blog and get some rest. Then I need to fix Chhaya some food, she is getting steak today. I also want to go for a run, it is nice out and later on I am going to work.

And no, I did not drink that Absolut bottle in the window, it would probably take me two years to finish a bottle that size. Absolut is a Swedish vodka and the plastic flowers I put in the bottle are blue and yellow - the colors of the Swedish flag. And then I have some Polish stuff in the window too. The candle is called "Baltic Amber". I was born in a town on the Baltic Sea. Now you know!