Welcome to Chaos !!

I'm tired......long day. Productive day, good! Earlier when I had energy I thought I would actually make it to work tonight but no. I'm actually really tired. I had an OK Friday night and a good Saturday night, a fun night too - so I'm happy and content.
Let's see, a very annoying man offered to put me up in a condo in Anchorage, no more work for me he promised.....oh let me not forget....a very annoying married man. He came in Friday and Saturday, I finally had to run away from him. No thanks. You are annoying AND married, I'm not interested in either.
Then some guy thought he was going to be deep and different with me and told me to just lose all the stripper bs.....you know the façade, the "everything" and just be REAL. Hmmmmm........actually I AM real. I don't play any stupid games at work or outside of work, no weird and fake personality, you just don't know me and you won't ever know me because people like that, that assume they are coming with a different approach when in fact I have heard it before and it's also not true when it comes to me, well I don't have patience for that.
I just walk away. Then he yelled after me, "I'm not going to give you any money." Newsflash, I didn't even ask you for any money and you came up to ME.....NOT the other way around. Later he tried to apologize, I ignored him, I am very good at that.
One of my loudest, prettiest and most fun "fans" came in. Her name is Sarah and she lives in Anchorage, for some reason she really likes me and every so often she will come here and visit me. She very loudly compliments me when I'm on stage and is rather generous, we exchanged numbers last night and she wants me to come and work at The Bush Company so she can see me there. Maybe, I have entertained the thought. The only thing stopping me is that I don't want to be in any club at 4 pm.....until 2 am, later on weekends. Grueling. But I might be able to deal with it for two weeks.
Oh, so I collect compliments. The usual ones.....pretty, beautiful. gorgeous, nice hair, nice this.....nice that, well we have all heard it all before. It goes in one ear and out the other.
I think every girl gets those, depending on the intention of the person giving the compliment, so I don't really take it seriously. But I got a good one last night. A couple was in and after my stage their friend came up and wondered, "what it would take for his buddy and his lady to get entertained by my perfection". Awwwww, how sweet!
Friday night a guy decided that I was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, now come on! It's not that dark in the club! He needs to travel the world or at least leave the state......I did blush a little though. EVER? Wow.

Today I had a pedicure. After searching desperately for at least a decent pedicure in this village I finally settled for Tina at Nail Boutique in Kenai. I've had some nightmare pedicures in Alaska, the standard of service that I am accustomed to and expect is sometimes lackluster here, in many areas. The worst pedi ever in the history of BAD pedicures for me happened at Allure Spa in Anchorage. Anyhow, Tina is OK. If I am going to spend money on a pedicure around here it will be with her only.
I dream of the pedicures I have read about, with a true pedicure master like Bastien Gonzalez, frequently hailed as the world's best pedicurist. An appointment with him lasts as long as it takes and the wealthy send their private jets to pick him up. Or maybe one day I will be able to visit Samuel So at the Mandarin Oriental in Hong Kong, the resident foot master. After a long soak he goes to work on your feet. "The result: feet so smooth that it feels sacrilegious to walk on them" according to an article I read. Another place not as far away is Jin Soon Chi's salon in New York, where your feet get an essential oil foot bath and the option to be coated in a thick layer of volcanic clay. THAT is the kind of pedicure I want. Not just somebody that haplessly cuts a few cuticles and slaps on some nail polish and then wants $40 for it. There is an art to the craft after all.
I hope you will enjoy my artsy sparkly heels and ESSIE nail polish pictures. I got creative just for you!





At Nail Boutique in Kenai......not Bastien Gonzalez but better than some other places around here.......I have decided.

I worked last night and scraped together $56 but I'm still happy. Mandy thinks that I am wasting my time and getting the life sucked out of me, I KNOW and I agree but I can't possibly travel all the time, I just can't. I have Chhaya. Half of the time I go into work here it's a waste of my time and it's also so completely unmotivating that I don't even try to make money. Because there is nobody to make it from or the way some girls make their money is just not how I make money. But I am not going to live off my savings. Although it's a waste of my time I usually have FUN.
Have you ever seen a strip club mistletoe? We have one.....it's a pair of panties and a tampon. And no, I did not hang it there, although that is my kind of humor......and no, it's not a used tampon. We are a classy place after all!



Would you like to make a NEW BREAST FRIEND? Instead of a best friend you can make a breast friend!



Talking on the couch with my friend Grady, he comes in almost every night to say HI, he is part of the furniture in the place.



I'm thinking tonight can't get any worse that $56 so I'm going to give it a try again.

I got a strong craving for huevos rancheros this afternoon, so I stopped by Maria's where they make a very spicy huevos dish with lots of jalapenos and green hot salsa, very good. Then I went home, skipped the gym and thought I would go running instead but it just started raining. A real downpour, a repeat from yesterday......I was out walking with Chhaya and the sun was shining and then all of a sudden the sky opened up and it started raining hard.



Earlier today I saw a fallen leaf.....then I spotted some more. Is fall creeping up on us? Already? To fast, to soon.



It looks like the rain is about to stop, I need to take Chhaya out and perhaps I will squeeze in a 30 minute run before work tonight.

I dragged my unmotivated and lazy self to the gym yesterday, it had been a while. There was a new feature added at the gym, on one wall there are a few panic buttons hanging now that you can use if you feel it's needed. You know, these panic buttons are for when Justin Bieber or Bradley Cooper and other incredible hot men decide to visit Kenai and work out at the gym here. Girls and women turn into screaming banshees when we see hotness like that and can't contain ourselves. Justin would definitely need a panic button and from the looks of it, he has been living at the gym lately.....looking good Justin! Although I find Bradley much more SEKSI.
Since the gym is now open 24/7 and not staffed after a certain hour they added the panic buttons. And in case anyone missed the joke/sarcasm earlier......duh.....these panic buttons are there for women. Yep. You don't have to be a whorish porn star (see my previous entry if you don't understand what I mean by this statement) or stripper that's asking for it, to feel safer with a panic button at the gym. Cause let me tell you.....I don't see many strippers and porn stars working out at the gym here, we're not in Vegas after all. Nope, just normal women. Normal women that might possibly encounter some sort of an altercation at the gym, hence the panic buttons. For some strange reason I don't see a woman deciding to pounce on some sweaty guy lifting weights at the gym, rip his clothes of and rape him, no I can't picture that.....unless it's Bradley Cooper.
So to all the morons out there saying that women get what they deserve if they get abused by a husband or boyfriend because he was provoked in some kind of way, let me have a few minutes with you. I will feel provoked to slap you around Polish style with a piping hot frying pan and send you on your way, hopefully a little less moronic than you were to begin with.
So women that get raped by a complete stranger deserve it too, right? Whatever. It's time for me to get up and go get my latte now......Maybe gym again later?

After way too many errands in the afternoon, all I wanted was to come home to my book and some ice cream. I have a new fave flavor since a few months. I used to get a pomegranate ice cream at Whole Foods in Vegas that I absolutely loved, this one is not too bad either.
Thought I would work tonight, planned on it but when 7 pm came I felt tired, unmotivated and somewhat sad. I think I have a slight bout of PMS going on right now. I don't want to do anything and I miss Sweden and my friends SO much! And Chhaya is going bonkers as well. Last night she really scared me.....around 3 am or so she started whining and panting. First I thought she was sick, then I took her out twice and both times she stared off into the trees around the house with her heckles raised. I was convinced that some weirdo was lurking in the forest so I went outside with a flashlight but didn't see anything. Chhaya would not stop acting weird so I was scared and slept with my gun close to me. Then tonight when it got dark she got weird again. Well, I now suspect that it's probably her hormones. She will have her heat soon, that's what it is. Great......my Chhaya wants to run away and mate. Not happening.



So......back to the porn star drama surrounding Christy Mack and the severe beating that she most likely got from her ex or current boyfriend War Machine (innocent until proven guilty) that as I'm writing this is still on the run from the police, arrest warrant has been issued.
So, there are some inconsistencies to the story. Like why would she put up pics of them together looking in love on her Instagram when now in fact she claims he broke up with her back in May? Then other reports say she broke it off with him. He put on Twitter that he came over to surprise her with an engagement ring and there was another man in her house.
A surprise at 4 am? Well, it's Vegas after all, I would go grocery shopping at 4 am in Vegas, so why not surprise somebody with a proposal at that time? But then who proposes if you are broken up? And where is that other person (some reports say there was one guy in the house with Christy other reports say two) who got beat up also, some guy? How come he is not saying anything (yet)? Did they call the police as soon as the first person got hit by War Machine or did the police get notified after Christy supposedly ran and got help from a neighbor? But I am sure I did stuff in my prior relationships that made NO SENSE whatsoever to bystanders. Sometimes you say stuff and act crazy, in the moment. Looking back now, I know it didn't make any sense but it did then. HOWEVER, Christy got SEVERELY beaten.....
I can't even imagine getting that kind of treatment. Many broken bones, teeth missing, hair chopped off, ruptured liver from punches or kicks, bruises. He could had killed her. And what REALLY upsets me are the complete MORONS chiming in on this. Oh, that's what you get if you do porn, would had never happened if she was an accountant, the whore deserved it etc etc, nasty comments like that. Really now???!
If I am not mistaken the majority of women in the US that get beaten and murdered get beaten and murdered by either a current significant other, meaning husband or boyfriend or an ex husband or boyfriend. Many women and children live in fear of domestic abuse, physical and mental on a daily basis. Yes. How many of those women are porn stars that deserve that kind of treatment cause they are whores anyways? Not many I can say with certainty. Most of them are probably regular girls and women. Not that a woman in the sex industry deserves this, ABSOLUTELY NOT. That would be like somebody saying I deserve to get murdered or beaten cause I am a dancer. You can do porn, be a dancer (stripper), live in a trailer, be a homeless bum, shoot heroin and guess what......BE A GOOD and KIND HUMAN BEING! That is all that matters!!!! You can also be highly educated, live a certain lifestyle, have a "good" job and be a complete evil asshole. Christy did not deserve this at all. I wish somebody would start this discussion with me in real life, about that "whores" deserve this.
I would rip them a new asshole real quick. And what's a whore anyways? What about the men that pay for sex or watch porn? How are they better than the women that do porn or sell their bodies? I know exactly what I do for a living but let me tell you, I have more class, poise and intelligence than many of the people I encounter, the same people that talk bad about me behind my back when they don't even know me. Yeah, I think I know who you are. SAY IT TO MY FACE IF YOU DARE BITCH (and that goes for men and women). People with too many stereotypes that they blindly believe in are just too narrow minded for me. Before you talk about me and my scandalous ways, look at your own lousy and trashy behavior, doing stuff I would never do. WHY? Because I am too good and too everything that you aren't. I love myself actually.
Now that I've said all of that, I'm going to read my book some more. I hope Christy is going to recover soon.