YES, I am a feminist. Although a feminist blogger (and some other person making no sense at all but jumped on the bandwagon) in Sweden thinks that I am degrading myself by being a dancer as I prefer to call myself (some say stripper, others say sex worker and that blogger calls me kuk-arbetare) and thinks that I should do something meaningful with my life instead. But I am going to have to devote a whole separate entry on just that topic.....maybe. I might or I might skip it depending on my mood. Hey, I know myself and what I do and what I don't do and I also know that I am a good person. Call me whatever you want if that makes you happy or feel important, or perhaps it makes you feel like you are "better" than me is some way. This dancer KNOWS she is a badass lady!
BUT, I am also and most importantly a human being (my job does not define me) and when I see or read about injustices committed against another person (even a man) or animal I sometimes react with emotions and words. Or actions. Good that I have an outlet for my opinions!
I don't really know what to say about that football player (Ray Rice) knocking out his then fiancée (Janay Palmer), now wife, in the elevator. I watched the tape, I think that was a brutal punch. I feel bad for her. I also feel like he showed no compassion for her once she was laying down knocked out on the ground, he kind of stepped over her and acted like he did not care at all that she was laying sprawled out and injured. She married him afterwards. The only reason we, the public know about this incident is because it was caught on camera. Just like the Solange, Jay-Z and Beyoncé incident (also violent) that recently made headlines. But that time a woman hit a man, so it was more accepted I suspect. You have to look at each individual case. I'm not going to side with a woman just because I am a woman and should side with women every time. I am going to side with what's right. In some cases there is always a right.....violence against the defenseless - children and animals, another totally defenseless adult. There are men that get beat up by the woman in their life too (but I can safely guarantee that there are an overwhelming amount of cases where the man is the perpetrator and the woman is the victim). Plus there is same sex couples domestic violence also. Hey, I have smacked, kicked, punched and bit some of my boyfriends too. I am not going to be a hypocrite and lie and pretend that I only had perfect and conflict free relationships. Sometimes men are too dumb to understand and it seems like a punch in the arm is the only way to get across to them. A kick to get them to back the fuck off. I KNOW, I KNOW that if a man would say the same thing about a woman it would be considered horrible. Like....."sometimes women are too dumb to understand so you have to slap some sense into them". That would be considered very wrong. But take into consideration that most men, most not all, are physically stronger than women. So me punching some guy in the arm versus him punching me.....well the action is the same but results different. You never know what goes on behind closed doors in a household. There are women living complete nightmares but keep up a good front. Keeping up appearances although living a lie.
Happens all the time, I see it. There is the physical abuse but also mental and sexual.
I don't want to put any judgment on Janay for staying with him. They also have a two year old daughter together. Nobody knows the intricacies of their relationship besides them. Only she knows why she went ahead and married the man that knocked her out. She made some statements about the incident already, she is embarrassed because of all the attention this is getting. I sympathize with her, I would feel very weird too if that was me. She looks sad in recent pics, I feel for her and want to give her a warm hug. To return here to my private business, I have not been in a relationship where violence or crazy arguing was part of my normal existence. Yes, I have argued. I will absolutely argue and stand my ground when I feel the need for it, I am not a pushover. But not arguing every day or even close to it, I need calm. Those relationships that turned sour ended, usually by me. Mental and sexual abuse I have been spared from in my relationships. There has been some physical, yes. And a handful of times I have felt very uncomfortable due to the actions or behavior of another person.
Look, no victimizing or blaming here - just explaining. But I never entered a relationship feeling scared or badly treated, I would had ended that and left right away. Shit happens along the way. I have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed over.
Alaska is topping the charts for men murdering women, more than double the national average. The majority of women knew their killer, it was somebody they were in an intimate relationship with. That is probably true regardless of where in the US you live. I wonder if alcohol was involved in the majority of the cases? Some people do some far out crazy shit when they are drunk. So it's safer for a woman to be single than to be in a relationship?
You never know if or when the man in your life will turn violent I guess. Maybe it's good that you as a woman put some fear in him from the beginning by acting "crazy", so he know what's coming if he tries to step out of line. People make mistakes, some mistakes are forgivable. Some are not (again children, animals, straight on violence and abuse like rape).....only you can decide on how you want to live your life.
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