Welcome to Chaos !!

My morning routine....coffee at home and reading. Solving Wordle. I stopped going to the nearest coffee shop for the everyday lattes. The coffee was not good enough for me to make the effort and spend the money. If I am close to a Stumptown I will stop in for a latte, at least their coffe tastes good. No more wasting money on bad lattes. 
I sprinkle cinnamon on my coffee. In case you wonder what that is floating on top. Reading the news is borderline depressing. Just a bunch of misery and terrible stuff. But I do enjoy my morning rotine of slowly waking up in bed with a cup of coffee in my hand.

I also have morning anxiety. It's been going on for years now. I do not take any meds and I do not self medicate with any substances. So when I feel anxiety which I do almost every morning I just have to ride it out. It usually subsides once I get going with my day. I get anxiety over stuff that I have to do. It can be anything from procrastination (I procrastinate big time which in turn gives me anxiety) over things like getting a plane ticket for example or making a phone call or having to do something in particular that I am putting off doing. Some recent examples.....I got a plane ticket recently. I had some serious anxiety over that because for some reason I hate looking for plane tickets. So it took me like three weeks of thinking, I have to get the plane ticket TODAY and then thinking the same exact thought the next day until I finally did it. I had to make some phone calls in order to fascilitate getting the blog migrated. Easier said than done. It took several phone calls trying to figure out what to do. Another example, I had to cancel a service with one company and start the same service with another, I thought about it for months before I finally did it. Laundry is another hurdle, only because I do not have a washer and dryer at home (WTF!). Stuff like that, super easy to get done but for some reason I find it hard. I don't know why.
It might sound like my life is in utter chaos when I descibe these scenarios but it is not. I do procrastinate way too much regarding certain things and I do have morning anxiety. Usually once I am out and about or up and moving that feeling goes away and I feel normal. 

I went back to Forest Park today, I will try to go there once a week throughout the Summer. It is absolutely beautiful outside in Oregon now. But before Forest Park I stopped at Stumptown and got a latte, this one was free. Nice!

I got the check engine light figured out the other day. It has to do with the fan clutch that I had installed Sunday, which I suspected. Not sure how to fix that but I hope it will get solved somehow and soon. I do not like driving around with the check engine indicator light on.

After the hike/walk in Forest Park that takes a little over two hours I went home to eat and rest. Then I had to do errands. While at Mud Bay, which is an amazing pet store AND they donate to Pet Pack as well, I saw this on the wall that a girl at that particular Mud Bay location had painted. So pretty! Starry Night featuring one of the most perfect creations - a dog.

Some thoughts for today.....I think that nobody should have to work in the Summer. We should all be off from the end of May through the end of August. OR have a three day work week in the Summer. So work three days and be free for four days. People are not made to work all the time, yes I think that in general people work too much. There are hikes to go on, camping to be done, flowers to look at, books to read, naps to take, clouds to watch, pets to cuddle with, slow evening walks to go on, children to play with, life to be enjoyed and a world to be explored. 

I feel a slight panic inside my heart area.....it is June 21 ALREADY and today is Summer Solstice. I might make a stop later at
Nordia House here in Portland (where I used to volunteer). That place is so nice and they always have great displays and exhibits.
I did receive an email from The Jackrabbit Speaks, that is Burning Man's newsletter. And there was a really nice article on the solstice, here it is copied and pasted. Source, The Jackrabbit Speaks Burning Man Journal.

"Wherever you are today at 57 minutes after this hour, welcome the solstice. This celestial moment marks the day we honor Burning Man’s inception 37 years ago — the first time Larry Harvey, Jerry James, their kids, and friends built and burned a wooden Man on Baker Beach. Burning a human effigy, and celebrating the solstice on a beach gathering are not revolutionary acts unto themselves; humanity has created these moments and imbued them with meaning since before recorded history. But the impetus that brought these two acts together ignited something new (and also ancient) in those early Burners. Maybe it soothed unmet desires for ritual, communion and continuity at a time when people were feeling increasingly disconnected.
By 1990, the original crew merged with the Cacophony Society and other instigators, and engineered a leap from beach to desert. Before long Burners were building massive fiery art and other wonders, organizing theme camps, erecting a Temple, and piloting wildly illuminated mutant vehicles.
In short, we had a city. And then we had a global community — Burners around the world made the 10 Principles their own, launching Regional Events and local Burning Man communities.
So, happy solstice to you. We hope you make time to commemorate this moment in whatever way is meaningful."

"Burning Man is very much needed in our world as a place for rehearsing things that have a deeper spiritual value, and that nourish the foundation of identity: the feeling that you're at home in the world, and at home with yourself.” - Larry Harvey

I am VERY happy to be part of Burning Man, I am a participant in this event. It is a very special moment, that dusty week in the Black Rock Desert. Some do not understand it at all and that is OK, nobody is asking you to be there. But I understand it completely, I can feel it in my soul.
Happy Solstice my friends. ❤️

The pretty sky this evening. Can you see the moon and the star?

How was YOUR day? Today I found this great deal ($8) for this whole box of organic nectarines. Got some cherries too.
I love fruit.

I drove to Bend yesterday, where I lived before I moved to Portland. Bend is located in Central Oregon, about a three hour drive East from Portland. When I go there I usually think.....why did I move away from here again? My mechanic, who is also my friend lives there and I have a room full of my stuff in Bend (storage). I dug through a few boxes and brought some clothes and some other stuff. with me back to Portland.
My car got an oil change, a new oil filter too of course. A new ball joint was put it and a new fan clutch. I like having a mechanic that allows me to be present in the shop so I can watch, learn and participate in minor car things. I have an older car and there is always something that needs to be fixed. Next on the to do list are front brakes and the air vents got something going on with them too. I do not pay much attention to cars (as in my own car), I am happy as long as I can safely go from point A to point B. It does not bother me that I have an older car that has dents and is far from a luxury vehicle. I don't care. My car has taken me across Nevada and Oregon and for that I am grateful. I can sleep in it and it is comfortable.

Car issues are stressful and about an hour into the drive home to Portland the check engine light came on. I did notice a change in how my car was driving yesterday, after it got out of the shop (of course) and I will get it checked out tomorrow, so I am stressed about that now. Of course the check engine light came on after I had already left. Sometimes it comes on because a gas station attendant did not screw the gas cap on right (you are not allowed to pump your own gas in some places in Oregon - kind of strange) and I was hoping it was as simple as that but NO. Something is not right. That will be on tomorrow's to do list. I also have a lunch meeting and I really need to do laundry.

Welcome to a small tour of the Tokyo subway! I managed to navigate on the subway on my own although it took some time to understand it. And yes it can be confusing but it is manageable. First of all, it is CLEAN. No graffiti. No trash. No destroyed seats. Nobody is loud. Nobody has their feet up on the seats. So people CAN actually behave normal on the subway?
Japan is a civilized country, the subway is just one of the many signs of that. I very much appreciated the Tokyo subway. It is amazing.

Tokyo subway guide.

You get a card (Suica card) that you add money to, you use this card to get through the gates. Entering and exiting. 

Exiting a gate.

The subway cars can get very crowded. You are not supposed to talk on the phone while riding. Put your phone on silence, use the texting function to communicate. Do not listen to music and do not talk loudly with somebody else. Be mindful of others. People on the subwat want to unwind and relax before and after work, listening to somebody else's drama is not relaxing. I totally agree with all of that. Exiting the platform can feel slightly claustrophobic due to the crowds, just relax and go with the flow. Pay attention to what side to stand on the escalators, walk the stairs. 
Some cars are designated for women only during morning rush hour. It should be like that everywhere.

This is cute. Don't rush, the trains run frequently.

While riding you get useful information about the weather and other things.

Me having fun riding the subway in Tokyo. 

Tokyo Station subway entry.

A club I have been working at for some time now closed down the other day. Riverside Corral. We (the dancers) all knew that the club was approaching its end, it was going on 30 years (in October of this year) and the rumor was that the closing would happen sometime this summer because the lot the club sits on got sold. Well, it happened earlier. 
Mike, the owner sadly suddenly passed away. And that was it. We did not even get to have the planned goodbye party due to some unfortunate circumstances.
Some of us dancers gathered last night in Sellwood Park to talk and remember. I will miss this club, I made some great friends there and I had fun times and so many laughs. One of the better stages I have danced at with good lights. A very comfortable dressing room where I would just relax, read and write. Everything was just right.
It was a special place for many people, Riverside Corral will be missed by many. It is so strange that I won't be there tomorrow night. It is over. 
Thank You for all the memories and Thank You Mike for everything. I hope that you are together with Richard and Brian now. ❤️