Entries by TATIANA

So I got some vitamins, in case I need to adjust my iron levels and whatever else I might be lacking. It's not easy to know of any deficiencies unless you get your blood checked. I am not super consistent with taking vitamins but I am going to make an effort. I haven't tried the Floravital (the bottle) yet but that one has lots of iron in it. Since I don't eat meat I don't get iron that way and meat is the highest dietary source of iron. But I'd rather be a vegetarian than eat meat. A bloody chunk of steak seems disgusting to me.

I got my ticket and I am happy, excited and emotional! I have been reading about this years theme and it's going to be AMAZING! I am so grateful and feel very blessed that I can do things like this. I went last year (my first time) and it was one of the best things that I have done in my life. I love Burning Man! Read more about Burning Man on www.burningman.com



"This year we will create a caravansary that occupies the crossroads of a dreamland: a bazaar of the bizarre wherein treasures of every sort, from every land and age, flow in and out to be flaunted, lost, exploited and discovered. This is not a tourist destination, but a home for travelers who come here bearing gifts. Amid the twisting and the turnings of its souk, participants will come upon an inexhaustible array of teeming goods and unexpected services. Anyone may pose as 'merchant' here, and anyone may play a 'customer', but nothing in this strange emporium shall have a purchase price — no quid, no pro, no quo — no trade at all will be allowed in this ambiguous arcade. According to a rule of desert hospitality, the only thing of value in this 'marketplace' will be one's interaction with a fellow human being.

Our desert inn will also be a scene of luxury and cultivated ease. An apron of fine carpets will spread out beneath the shade of portals that surround a courtyard. Here travel-wearied pilgrims may relax, inventing pastimes as they watch the whirling world go by. Workers of great wonders will be welcome here; fakirs, dancers, sadhus, seers and potentates will throng through this performance space, like figures that adorn the fabric of a silk brocade.
Finger cymbals, chimes, and music of acoustic instruments will fill the air. By night, bathed in the lambent glow of lanterns gently swaying overhead, fire spinners will perform around the Burning Man. This year's Man will rise directly from the desert floor and tower many stories high. Its massive torso will evoke a tiered pagoda; its ornate head will be a lamp that welcomes people home."

"Much travel is needed before the raw man is ripened."
—Proverb of the Caravan of Dreams



Me at Burning Man 2013. Photographer Michael Helms.

I'm laying in bed and waiting for SNL to start.....I called work and told them that I am going to be late. I have to watch Sheldon (yes, yes I know it's really Jim Parson) at SNL tonight, that is much more important than work. Actually, I might just not go to work tonight...... I think it is time that Sheldon and Amy break up. Their relationship has run it's course. Sheldon needs some fun and excitement! The break up should be amicable or perhaps Amy can move and they can reach a mutual decision that they are better off not dating any longer. Then Sheldon is going to find a new girlfriend. Who? TA-DAAAAA, SURPRISE! ME!!! But there is a twist! After talking to Julia we discovered that we both love Sheldon just as much, so instead of one girlfriend he will have two. We are going to take him on crazy adventures to strip clubs and raves, maybe a trip to Burning Man where Sheldon can expand his mind and come up with even better theories. We don't need to have coitus, I am totally OK with that. Cuddling, reading books and comics together will be enough. Also a weekly Halo session and creating superhero costumes will keep us busy. And a vacation to Sweden. I think this would make for a great storyline. BAZINGA!!

This was the last sunset of February 2014 from where I was standing on the road outside my house. The colors were spectacular, mostly red. If I had been at the beach I could had captured it better. Now I can walk Chhaya after 6 pm and it's still light out. Nice.





Before work I watched Dateline, they had a special about Oscar Pistorious and his upcoming trial about shooting his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, I have been following that case since it happened over a year ago now. I'm not sure what to make of it and I am going to continue follow the developments with interest. I heard that according to some sources and statistics the worst thing a woman can do for her own safety and her children(s), if she has any.....is to live with a man. Women may be afraid of strangers, but it's a husband, a lover, a boyfriend, or someone they know who is most likely to hurt them. According to a U.S. Justice Department study, two-thirds of violent attacks against women are committed by someone the woman knows. In the United States, one of the most dangerous places for a woman is her own home. Isn't that crazy? Hard to believe and grasp but it's true..... 😥
On a lighter note, tomorrow night my SHELDON (Jim Parson) is hosting SNL. I love SNL, they seem to have so much fun making that show. I want to be on SNL, cracking jokes about glow in the dark pinworms and other fun stuff.

I left work at 2 am after another dead night.....I am home now and back in bed. Made myself some tea and toasted a couple of English muffins, butter and orange marmalade on top.....sooooo good! The nights when I don't go into work are the nights that are good it seems, I guess a girl made over $ 300 on one stage set last Monday, not bad I have to say. Where was I? At home eating. Tonight I watched music videos at work and drooled over Rihanna's Instagram, how freakin' SEKSI can a girl be? I'm in love with Rihanna. Finally when it was 2 I begged to go home, I said that I felt like a captured Russian hooker and just couldn't take it anymore. Pleaseeee, let me go homeeeeeee! Set me freeeeee!
Well.....I have to wash my face, the silver glittery eyeshadow has to come off. Then sleep.
Things I entertain myself with when I'm bored at work.....selfies and pics with a snake.

So....today it felt like spring! 41 degrees and melting snow everywhere, I am hoping for an early spring this year because last year it took until May to warm up here....I was like WTF!!!
I have been feeling so tired lately, for some time now. It takes me forever to get out of bed, even after seven - eight hours of sleep and then I want to take a nap later in the afternoon. My personal physician, Julia has ordered me to check my thyroid. I guess I will do this but I have a problem with needles, I almost faint when I have to draw blood and I get very scared and cry almost every time. This stems from bad childhood memories, I was very sick when I was around 3 years old and had to undergo lots of tests and stayed in the hospital for a long time. They drew my blood, gave me shots and I was sad, scared and little. And now I can't handle needles. My friend Rose-Marie told me that I should get some iron pills and something called Blutsaft. So I am doing that tomorrow. It could be a mild form of SAD too, Seasonal Affective Disorder, its' common here.
OK.....so what's new at work?
CRAZY got fired, this happened last Saturday because she got into it with The Bulldog and supposedly pushed her and that was it. No physical "violence" is tolerated, so she got fired. Earlier that night she told me about her meds and some of her problems and I felt bad for her. I do not think that she should had been allowed to drink at work and I told this to management. I think that was irresponsible on their part, when they knew something wasn't right with her. The answer I got back is that they don't run a babysitting business, true. But if you hire a girl that's obviously mentally unstable then you can have a talk with her and decide that consuming alcohol mixed with her meds is not a good thing. I felt bad for CRAZY when they fired her. Especially since her and The Bulldog got into it over something that The Bulldog and her sidekick FUGLY do on a regular basis, rip guys off. But The Bulldog pretended to be holier than thou. I can't stand her, she is so fake.....UGH. I am allergic to fake people.
I'd rather have real and blunt than fake every day of the week.
Then some new lady started last weekend, I doubt she will be back. She had never danced before (from the looks of it, I didn't ask her) and it is not for everybody, you know.
The Bulldog was coaching her in the dressing room in her annoying and fake voice (I don't like when people have obviously fake voices) telling her (loudly so I could hear), "It's not about being the most beautiful girl, all you have to do is smile a lot because guys like that, guys don't like girls that don't smile". Sure, smile all you want like an insane person, but it sure helps looking good, if you work as a dancer, that's reality. I can sit there without a fake smile plastered on my face and somebody will come up and want a dance. The new lady was very nervous and spazzy and would not stand still for two consecutive seconds, guys would probably pay her to leave. I don't see her making any money, she was there for one night and I haven't seen her since. The Bulldog forgot to mention that it also helps to be a really dirty dancer and let guys finger and examine your VAGINE for $ 40, she does that shit all the time. Then it doesn't matter if you smile or look good.....as long as you are willing to do stuff like that. Gross. Looking "beautiful" helps....I don't have to resort to desperate stuff like that to make money....neither do I want to.
What else.....? Some weirdo came in the other night and blabbered some story about him being a duke, speaking 13 languages and that he could take me away from "all of this."
Yeah, that's all I need, some weirdo that is full of shit. I don't need to be saved from anything, thank you though. Save yourself, you need it more than me. Later on he busted out in a jerky chicken dance when "Moves Like Jagger" came on, very SEKSI. I was like, WTF? I bet if I would had spoken French or German to him he would had been sitting there with a dazed look on his face.
Then there was some other weirdo in there that told me, when I asked him how his day was, that he started it off with a 1/2 gram off meth and coffee. OK then.....good for you! And then there was a guy that was "disappointed" with me because for some reason he was under the impression that I has promised him a ride home last time he was in there. What? That pissed me off and I interrupted him and told him that he was very mistaken. Maybe in HIS head, in his wild imagination I had promised him a ride home. But I don't give random dudes I meet at work rides home at 4 am, I don't want to have to fight off a possible rapist. I don't hang out with random dudes after work, I go straight home. And I don't promise stuff like that either, ever. Why even bother, I don't have time for that.