Welcome to Chaos !!

So just these last couple of months, between working in Alaska and North Dakota, I heard anything from that I look to be about 22 to 48!
That's a wide range, I must be a great actress, where is my Oscar? LOL! Last night at work there were two guys that said they thought was 48, but at the same time they both thought that I was hands down the prettiest girl (well, at 48 I would be more like a mature lady) in there. One of them kept on talking about how good looking he thought I was to everyone around him. He must have had a thing for older women.
So yea, people really do perceive things differently.
Recently I also heard that I am a Victoria's Secret commercial come alive. And somebody also said that when they see my butt they just want to spend all their money. LOL. Besides the regular "oh, you are so pretty/beautiful" etc. And then I had the guy that blurted out "You are 35 on a good day, huh?", while I was on stage. It goes in one ear and out the other.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't frown at compliments. But I don't obsess over getting them or not getting them.
Of course I'd rather look closer to 22 than 48, I am neither btw......lol......but I can't control how people see me.
IF I was 48, I would probably be selling my secret to aging so gracefully to the tabloids right now. Or have my own skin care line.
I understand that guys will tell the girls in the clubs I work at the same compliments, or should I say lines, sometimes. That's why I don't pay too much attention to compliments. Of course some people are very sincere when they tell me something nice about the way I look and that's lovely.
But I also know the difference between compliments and true love. Somebody that is there for me when I feel bloated and have full on angry PMS episodes. Or pick my nose. Or look tired. When I wear some ugly sweats and a t shirt. Act cranky. All that good stuff.
But I guess I don't look that old and worn since there are all kinds of photographers that want to work with me when I go to ........ next month.
Good photographers too. I have already booked a few shoots, going to schedule a few more.
But hey, it's late, I need to get my beauty sleep so I can continue to look like a 22 year old.

DA NANG!

Stopped and got a latte before work. And brought these cupcakes with me, for my girls at work, they ended up being really yummy, I am referring to the cupcakes.
Now I am at home, laying in bed with my puppy. Sipping on a cup of Earl Grey with lemon and sugar.
I played Libex & LRM "Liftered" tonight. That track is so good, OMG, when I hear it I just want to be transported away to some rave somewhere, so I can go crazy in close proximity to a huge speaker and have some serious bass pumping through my body. If it was me that had produced that track, I would had been really proud of myself, I love it. You can find it on YouTube if you want to know what kind of music makes Tatiana weak and happy. Play it LOUD! Now that I am finally using my iPod I can get all kinds of evil sounding techno and house.
So I can scare people at work. I don't come across too many that share my taste in music here. LOL.
I should probably sleep soon, it's almost 5 30 in the morning.

.......before I take Chhaya out, she is going stir crazy and wants to go outside. It was such bad weather yesterday that I skipped out on her long walk.
I went to bed at 6 AM this morning because I worked, got up at noon today, went to the store to get some food and got my latte too.
Working again tonight. Need $ for my bills.
So, what show should I participate in, Dancing With The Stars, The Apprentice or some other show?
Well, at Dancing With The Stars I would be able to met Maksim, I would demand him as my partner and we would win, of course.
At The Apprentice I would charm Donald Trump, I know he has a weakness for Eastern block ladies. And I could also do some talking, be witty and show people that strippers can do more than walk around in high heels (well, some stagger around) and "be dumb".
I am not too sure about Survivor, I would be hungry and therefore cranky. Also, the people that participate in Survivor play nasty games, lots of lies and acting fake and two faced etc and I am not good at that. So I would probably be very unpopular and get out of the game early. And if I would have to put myself through being hungry, I better get something out of the deal. A show like The Bachelor I would never do. That is just humiliating and gross.
The Amazing Race would be fun, you get to travel, you have to think quick and I can communicate in five languages and know sweet words and insults in Arabic, it's good to have a wide range, you never know when you have to be nice or mean.
The ideal solution would be to have my own show. Of course. Then I can be bossy and do what I want.

I am SO SAD . I wanted to go to Burning Man this year!!!! I have been wanting to go for years but I didn't, I kick myself because I used to live in Vegas and Burning Man is held in Northern Nevada each year.
And the tickets for this year are SOLD OUT, all of them. AAAARRRRGH!!!! I have been looking at the Burning Man site and almost started crying today. I waited too long, WHY??? And I had a feeling in my gut about the tickets but I ignored it and prolonged getting my ticket.
What an idiot I am. The theme this year is FERTILITY. And I want to participate! It is 2012 and all.
If anyone reading this knows how I can get a ticket, let me know!
❤

I guess EDC in June will be a small solace, since EDC is kind of a mini Burning Man but I want to go to the real deal!
But after reading the Los Angeles Times online today I wonder what the future will look like for my beloved rave community.
I want to go to Burning Man damn it!!!!!
www.burningman.com

One night at Crazy Horse Too in Las Vegas, this club is no longer open for those who don't know, my friend Sara came up to me and said "I saw the Devil in the club a few nights ago."
"Really - what did he look like?" I said. See, Sara was not one of those drama girls that would blurt out random things just to get some attention. She was always calm and collected, so I believed her. She said the eyes and the aura of this being or person made her think she had seen the Devil.
She said she had sensed pure evil. Actually, this didn't surprise me. At this point I had lived and worked in Vegas for some years. Beneath all the glitter, bright lights, laughter, shopping, gambling, dining, night clubbing, strip clubbing, sightseeing - there is a serious dark side. Yes, every big city has a "darker' side but what I mean is that Vegas has something else, it is hard to pin point, but it is there. Despair. Loneliness. Lost hope. Last resort.
I could sense that energy at times while living there. Las Vegas is the host of many broken and lost souls whether they live there or come through for a visit. Ask a local what they like to do when they have some time off and many of them will tell you that they leave town.
Actually, I thought that I saw the Devil or something weird and scary too once. And Sara was with me. But this happened in California.
I have to tell you about that some day........

Some clubs are strangely lit up. Too many black lights, or too bright, or some greenish lights. I think that the lighting in a club can make a huge difference in the overall ambiance and also, the most important issue, how attractive the dancers look. Good lights can make wonders . Trust me, I have done enough photo shoots to know this. The light can make or break the picture.
So....back to the strip clubs.....Since I am kind of pale, a club with a greenish or blueish tint makes me look bad and washed out. Too many black lights is also not good since the UV makes the whites of your eyes glow, your teeth and nails also glow in an eerie way. Everybody with peroxide in their hair will stand out too. It is also not the most flattering light for your skins appearance. I think clubs should use some black lights but go easy on them and instead go for warmer red lights. That coloring is flattering on most and makes everything look softer.
A club that is too bright is a disaster. You want the ambiance to feel warm, cozy and sexy. Having some Walmart style lights in the club will make everyone want to hide, especially the dancers.
I don't care how beautiful the girl is, no girl wants to highlight her flaws to the whole place. And everybody is watching. Clubs should cater to the girls in this issue, happy girls means a better club. But many club owners/managers have no clue in these matters, they think they do but they don't.
You try to go on a stage naked or half naked with some huge white spotlights shining down on you. Now smile!!! This is not New York Fashion Week, it is a strip club. Hello! Yea, I really like to share my ingrown hairs with others and point out possible rashes/zits on my butt cheeks. SEKSI.
Some girls spend a good time in the dressing room camouflaging their skin with Dermablend or spray on bronzers.
If I could recommend a crash course in lighting to club owners I would tell them to go and see the Crazy Horse show at the MGM in Vegas, those girls are lit up in a very flattering and also interesting way. But to sum it up, less bright and cold lights and more warm, like red and pink.

I do have to admit that my pink shoes were looking really nice at this place due to all the UV lights all over.