Welcome to Chaos !!

I went to Central Park today and did some shopping but it was kind of cold, too windy and rained all day. So it wasn't exactly enjoyable out.......





And in the evening........another rejection! This time at Rick's Cabaret. Hmmmmmm........I don't understand to be honest. Rick's looked nice inside with a large dressing room and lockers for the girls, the house mom was very friendly too. I had to dance two songs on a small "stage" upstairs. While the manager watched. Then the house mom came and got me and took me down to the dressing room, I got dressed and she said, "sorry but he said no this time".
While at Rick's I did see a few girls, maybe 12. Out of those, in my opinion, two were bad and the rest varied from ok to pretty. One black girl was very pretty, there were two tall blonde girls from Vegas, one better than the other. But everybody has different taste so I guess I was not the managers taste, lol. Although what he hires shouldn't reflect his personal taste since he is not the one spending money in the club. Whatever......
I left Rick's, it was rainy, windy and cold outside (still) and I walked to Scores. For some reason they were closed, although it says on their web site that they are open on Sundays. I was willing to try a few other places and called ahead, two didn't audition on Sundays and another was closed.
So......I made my way home on the subway. I kept on wondering why I got rejected at Rick's. So I decided to call and ask. Like, let me know why, ok......? The manager that I auditioned for had left and I spoke to the house mom and she told me that she was very surprised that I didn't get hired, in her words she said that she thought I was pretty, tall and had nice hair. The only thing is that she didn't see me on stage. The thing is, stage in New York is easy, plus I know I am ok on stage. I have seen way worse than me. Stage doesn't worry me at all. Also, no floor work here, so it is simple, you just kind of move around looking pretty and sensual or whatever - piece of cake. It's not like South Dakota where most girls do crazy stuff like hang off the monkey bars while straddling a guys face. I can't hang with that! The house mom told me not to take it personal and that you never know from day to day why they don't hire or do hire girls that come in.
I hung up the phone, started cleaning my Hello Kitty make up box and cried and felt sorry for myself for about ten minutes. I am ok now.
I am not fat in case you wonder, I am probably thinner now than when I was in South Dakota working in October. I might not be in some kind of a rocking hard body gym shape but I am no jelly doughnut either. If I could change something I would want thinner thighs I guess. As far as the face goes, I think it's ok. I have seen better but I definitely have seen worse. And I have clear skin, no zits. My boobs don't sag. LOL.
Hmmmmm........well, I can ponder this forever and not get any wiser. Tomorrow is a new day and I need to make money. I am scheduled at Private Eyes and I guess I will have to go there and see what happens. Might check out some other clubs later in the week.
Booooooooo..........he thought I was FAT and UGLY!!!!! I'm gonna jump off the Brooklyn Bridge now!





Here you can inspect my chunky body. Just straight up and down, no sexy poses or angles........

Yesterday when I took a long walk through the streets of New York I walked past this old beautiful church, The Limelight also known as Avalon.......I went there in 2004 with Julia and Keoki. Keoki is one of my fave dj's and I used to have a CRAAAAAZY crush on him but he doesn't like girls like that. If he did I would had ravaged him, eaten him alive! He was mildly humored by my crush and slightly scared too, LOL. We became friendly and hung out a few times.
This is an old pic of me and Keoki's fine butt at Avalon actually. Also a pic from 2006 in LA at the Party Monster party, I am with Keoki and Julia.





Party Monster is also a movie that came out in 2003. It is about Michael Alig that used to throw totally faaaaaaabulous parties in New York that all the Club Kids used to go to, he was also Keoki's boyfriend. I wish I had been a Club Kid back then, FUN! I have been pen pals with Michael for over ten years, he is in prison. When he gets out and throws another FAB party I am so going! Unless I am tied up somewhere else.
Read more about The Limelight and stuff here

So, I was planning on going to one or two other clubs tonight but my voice is basically gone. I can talk but it sounds awful.......I can't go into a club sounding like this.
Instead I went shopping, I have Christmas shopping to do for my friends. And for myself. Got some very cute stuff today. A pink bracelet with large crystals from Henri Bendel. A ring I am wearing in the pic below. A Bliss face wash. Some golden body power from Lush. I went to MAC and saw this ad.



I loved the color of the models lips so I got the lipstick and lip gloss. Do you like it too?
The lipstick is called Creme Cup and the gloss Oyster Girl . I also got an eyeshadow, Vanilla and some black eyeliner. And I got a new bra from Victoria's Secret, it's creme colored with rhinestones by The Victoria's Secret Designer Collection. Here it is, I am wearing a 34 B in case you wonder.



I saw one more bra that I really want, a two toned pink one, super cute! I need this bra too!



Besides that, some areas of Manhattan were soooooo crowded today. In some places you could barely walk, it was a standstill of large masses of people. I felt like a sheep in a huge herd. Actually, way too crowded for my taste. And I absolutely LOVE the Diesel store and the Juicy store on Fifth Avenue. I want a pair of leather pants at Diesel, they are expensive......$ 798. Hmmmmm........do I need?



As far as work.....I am kind of bummed over Flashdancers still and that I couldn't go and work at some other club tonight because I can't talk.
Right now I am back in the mind frame that I don't want to dance anymore because I am sick of it (for now) and it's annoying with setbacks. I have missed out on two nights of work so far, it is not the end of the world I know this.......but I came to New York to work in the evenings, not to lay in bed at midnight like I am doing now........My friend Angelica told me that everything happens for a reason and that I should just try some other club. I will but still! Maybe no clubs are hiring right now because of the holiday season and I am going to have to stick it out at Private Eyes?
I am going to gargle with Listerine and lukewarm salt water before I go to sleep tonight. Tomorrow I am going to try to get up kind of early, I want to go to Central Park.
Can't wait to eat an almond croissant at Pret A Manger tomorrow, the best croissant EVER!

Well, since my voice is almost gone due to my cold I decided not to work. It's difficult to talk and it would be next to impossible to communicate with anyone in a loud club. Plus I get intense sneeze and cough attacks that make my eyes tear up, that wouldn't be too fun to get while on stage or during a dance, I hope I feel better tomorrow.
So my ego is somewhat bruised after the "rejection" at Flashdancers. I worked there years ago and I liked it, did well and was liked by management. So of course I didn't think I wouldn't get hired this time around. You have to audition on stage. There were so many girls there, the dressing room is almost impossible to move around in, it is not large enough for all the girls and their stuff. No lockers, your bag and shoes are basically on shelves and on the floor. Well, the manager told me that he is not hiring right now because there are too many girls due to the holiday season. He said MAYBE after the holidays.......MAYBE......
😥
And sent to over to their other club, Private Eyes a few blocks away and told me I could work there, so I walked over there.
Private Eyes was not like Flashdancers......at all. Actually about 15 girls got sent there last night from Flashdancers because they did have too many girls, so I know he wasn't lying about the too many girls issue. But still, I did audition on stage, nothing crazy in this club, most girls just kind of move around slowly and sexy, looking blasé ,no fast dancing at all. And then he said no. I think that if he really would had "liked" me, he would have hired me, despite of the too many girls factor. Hmmmmmm, so yes I am disappointed. I got a good look at some of the girls at Flashdancers and there were similar to the ones at Private Eyes, lots of Russians and Eastern Europeans, I met a girl from the Czech Republic and one from Turkey. And there were a few very pretty ones at both clubs but far from every girl was gorgeous, either skinny body and bad face or kind of normal looking body in "stripper standards". Nobody larger sized that I saw.
A normal body in stripper standards is not really the same as a normal body would be for "regular" women, just like the top models don't have bodies that look like regular women's bodies. Or maybe I should use the word average here. The average woman's body.
There was one very beautiful girl from Estonia at Private Eyes and one more that stood out look wise, the rest were ok, some had bad faces. Most girls looked depressed and didn't smile and it was a slow night. Management were all nice and did say that it was a bad night. One girl told me that last week she had three nights when she made $ 1000 and she looked average to me, she was the Turkish girl. I don't know if she is telling the truth or not, maybe.
I also got a long dress today, a purple pretty dress with a rhinestone buckle. The shop didn't have a fitting room. Really? How are you going to sell dancer outfits to girls and NOT have a fitting room? Lame. But when I tried it on later in my room I was happy with it.
So instead of working I went out in the night, had a bite to eat and strolled around in a rainy New York. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here, many decorations and lights up.
It's pretty. I am going to do some more shopping tomorrow in the daytime.

I DID NOT get hired at Flashdancers where I was hoping to work and where I have worked before......instead they sent me over to Private Eyes, their other club and I worked there last night and it was DEPRESSING. Dark, small, cold and lots of girls doing NOTHING. Sitting around looking gloomy.
So I am disappointed. I did not expect this. Ooooops! The manager at Flashdancers told me that there are too many girls there right now.......
And I am also sick, I can barely speak my throat is swollen. I was coughing up green phlegm this morning and my nose was full of snot. I must have gotten sick on one of the airplanes because that's when I first felt my throat being sore.
I might try some other clubs tonight. I can always go back to Private Eyes and I might if I don't find anything else.
😥
Booooooo...........I am saaaaaaad!
And then I came across this awful store and now I really feel sad. I shouldn't read abut stuff like this, it affects me bad.
I hate people that abuse or do not take care of animals properly.......click here

........Big lights will inspire you.......













So, I am in New York. Arrived this afternoon, took public transportation to my room, because I am adventurous and too cheap to spend my own money on a taxi. I am staying in Brooklyn.
I dropped of my bags, changed clothes and headed to Manhattan to get some food and coffee. Had to photograph my silver platform shoe in various New York situations. People looked at me like I was a weirdo and this town is FULL of weirdos, believe me. But hey, I have a blog and people want and need to know what I am up to! Even if that makes me look like a weirdo for a second.
And my battery to my Sony camera totally died so I had to take the pictures with my cellphone camera which is kind of bad. I got a new battery but it wasn't charged.....oh well. Also my throat is feeling scratchy and sore, I probably picked up some sickness while flying. So I might have no voice tomorrow, great. I am here to work and that means I have to talk, unfortunately. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to talk to people because it can be exhausting and annoying, I'd rather dance instead of getting bombarded with questions. I don't mind talking to fun and intelligent people but not everybody that I encounter falls into that category.
I am laying in bed now, exhausted. But I think I am going to make an effort and repaint my fingers and toes before I go to sleep.