In Bed......Coughing

It really sucks to be sick while away from home, in New York City of all places. I left work an hour earlier tonight because I was cold and felt bad. Not that I was leaving any excitement.
Private Eyes sucks! What a trap. At least I am not making any money there. Right now I am so over it, it's money and I will make it back. But right now I am sick and tired of asking people for dances and be at their "mercy" to whether I am going to make my house fee that night and what kind of profit on top of that. Fuck it, really, it's so lame. Sure it can be fun (lots of fun even) sometimes and I do meet nice people, have met a few nice ones here in New York too. But I am not going to sit in people's laps, endure some groping with a fake smile plastered on my face hoping to get a $ 20 dance. No thanks.
I talked to one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen dancing and in real life. I saw her last Thursday and I was like "OMG"! I thought she was from Estonia because somebody said so but she is from Russia. 24, my height but probably at least 15 lbs lighter, absolutely beautiful, flawless body and a very pretty face. We talked while I was getting dressed. She asked me why I wasn't at Flashdancers because she thought I was so pretty and should be there. She said I would fit right in. Well, so I told her that they had told me that they have too many girls now and she said that this is correct and that about two months ago there were way less girls there.
She works at Private Eyes once a week (the other nights at Flashdancers) and she hates it, she thinks the money is bad. If I was a guest in the club I would had dropped all my money on this beautiful girl. She models too. She has been in the US for three years. I want to bring her back to Alaska with me! She said that when she saw me last Thursday she thought I looked beautiful. That is a nice compliment coming from her, like I said, one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen. I do not feel at all beautiful now......
I feel like I have aged five years because I am sick AND working. When I look in the mirror I don't see me, I see something else.
I am not going to complain about working here anymore, it is what it is. Unless something changes for the better or I go to another club, then I will mention it. I have fun during the day in New York and now I am going to to and sleep, looking forward to my breakfast already!