Welcome to Chaos !!

This evenings superficial activities before work tonight.......touched up my roots and painted my nails. While the color was in my hair, 45 minutes, I took off my old nail polish, cut and filed my toenails, I like them square shaped but usually the salon does a better job at that than I. Applied two coats of polish and a clear topcoat. Perfect.
I didn't have time to take care of my fingers, maybe later at work if there is some dead time or tomorrow. Well........it's getting late, have to drive to work.

I have so much to be grateful for. I am healthy, have everything that I need, food to eat, a safe and comfortable place I call home, Chhaya, My Mom, friends. I have already written blogs about that I am grateful for the water that comes out of the faucet when I turn it, for all the comforts that I am accustomed to. Here I am having my daily latte and blueberry scone, then I am going to the gym and after that work where I will make money basically based on my physical attributes when there are people that worry about how they will survive for the day. It's crazy. There are days when I want more things, like clothes or pretty bracelets, more stuff. Not because I need, because I want. And I do not stop and think much about it because that is just what I am used to.
That's all I wanted to express right now, some thoughts that I have at this moment while siting here with my laptop. That I AM very grateful but some days I don't give it much thought. It is a beautiful day today and I feel happy I guess but I have a lot on my mind.

So I finished both books I got a few days ago. The Stonecutter was amazing and I have to read more books by Camilla Läckberg. I am hooked. The other book was by an author called Ree Drummond, Black Heels to Tractor Wheels . Little did I know that Ree has one of the US most popular and visited blogs, she has several million of visitors each month. I had about 970 yesterday.......just a comparison for you. She has received several blog awards, yes there is such a thing as blog awards - The Bloggies. I should get a blog award! HELLOOOOOOO!!!!! I have to do more research on that, added that to my to-do list. I checked out her blog, thepioneerwoman.com and it is very nicely presented with great photographs and has a pretty design with different categories, geared more towards housewives I think, that is how Ree describes herself, although could be read and found interesting by many. BUT I was disappointed with her book, not the story - that was entertaining. It is basically telling how she met, fell in love with and married her current husband. What I didn't like is how she presented herself.
Kind of weak and insecure. Very occupied with her looks. Now I am somewhat occupied with my looks too, I mean looking good makes me money but Ree takes it to levels I think are ridiculous. Careful and obsessive application of make up even for an early morning round up of cattle, just so her man won't see her without make up. There were several descriptions of her fretting over getting her shimmery make up and lip gloss applied before she could show herself to her dude. COME ON! Really? She reminds me of the horror stories you read about some women (that I can't even believe exist) that rise an hour before the husband just to cake on a full face of make up and do their hair and so their guy always sees them fully made up. Lame! Talk about having issues! Another thing that made me disgusted was that she described running over her dog Puggy Sue that she supposedly loved, the dog died the same day from the injuries,
Ree was "devastated" and cried but since she had a date with her man that evening she applied two cold spoons on each eye to reduce the swelling and redness and drove an hour to see him. She made sure to check her eye make up before exiting the car to greet him. WHAAAAT? If I had accidentally ran over Chhaya and caused her to die I would had been freakin' HYSTERICAL and inconsolable for a good time afterwards.
I certainly wouldn't be getting dolled up for some date later on the same day I killed my dog. And at the hospital after giving birth to their first child the nurse asked her some routine questions while her husband was in the room. One of the questions was if Ree had passed any gas after the child birth. I don't have kids but I guess it might be important to know that your insides function properly after squeezing out a huge baby.
Ree almost died when she heard the question and couldn't bear to answer it. She is one of the women that pretend they don't fart I guess. During her whole pregnancy she maintained a certain level of glamour and vanity, even during the labor, the woman even applied tinted lip balm before the epidural so she wouldn't look "pale". The whole book is full of descriptions about her insecurities about herself. Because to me those are insecurities. On the other hand, she describes vomiting a lot and has many snot bubbles come out of her nose. So that is ok but farting is not?
I am not the person that is going to blast some gas in your face just because "it's natural". But YES I DO fart, all women do! Surprise! And sometimes my farts are so loud and powerful that I wish somebody was present to marvel at them with me. It's like, WOW ! And the whole needing to "look perfect at all times for your man" make up crap. Who even bothers with that? Really? If a guy can't love me with no make up, greasy hair, unshaved legs and armpits then what do I need him for? Seriously! Girls come on now, don't be weak like that! I like make up, nail polish, fake lashes, putting on lotion and all the stuff that I do. But being in my natural state is to me as normal as breathing. Do I have any insecurities? I guess not too many. I have one issue that I've had since I was about 11. I am near sighted. I wear contacts but I also have glasses. Well, I used to be so insecure about wearing glasses in class before I bought my first contacts that I still feel a bit insecure about wearing my glasses. Strange but true. Once I am out and about in them I forget and relax after a while but sometimes a wave of that insecurity and shyness that I felt as a kid will rush over me. And if I happen to have a zit or two on my butt (I break out easily on my butt, don't know why), I will cover them up before going on stage. Don't need to advertise my occasional butt zits, still waiting for Clearasil to offer me a paid contract to do so.

I think I want to get some fake clip in bangs. Maybe next time I go to Anchorage I will look if any of the beauty supply stores have any. I would never cut bangs, that would be a mistake. I like my hair the way it is, pretty much one length and I've had my hair like this for a long time now. I don't see any reason for a change although people (always other girls) sometimes try to convince me that I would "look so good" in layers or a shorter hair style to "bring out my face". Hmmmmmm, I think I already look good. I can see my face. And I like my hair long - it's me. Bangs would be fun to try as a change once in a while but I am not sure if I want the blunt cut bangs or the more layered look.
And no, I have not grown my hair all my life (I get asked that a lot, it is not THAT long ok) and yes I do cut it. I cut it about twice a year. If you want long hair I suggest that you go easy on the trims. And take care of your hair in between. Maybe take a good supplement. I've had two perms as a teenager. I wanted curly hair, it looked awful on me. But all the "cool" girls had perms, kind of looked like tight poofy curls and I wanted to look like them too. The last perm I took out after about a week, not at all good for the hair but I didn't want it anymore. And when I was in 8th grade I had short hair, kind of in a punkish style. Now it's long and straight. I've been asked a few times if I want to sell my hair. I guess long Eastern European hair is a hot commodity on the hair extension market. And here are some of examples of the blunt cut and the layered bangs.

Woke up feeling soooo sluggish today, then I realized it was probably because I had a glass of champagne last night......either that or the ever so present gray winter weather. After a walk with Chhaya in the snow and a run to Coffee Roasters to get a latte I slowly felt better and now I feel like myself again. Lots of energy but nothing to do. Boring!
Last night was fun, I love spending time with my friends. But there has been very little of that in Alaska. Most my friends live other places, they are the ones I spend time with the way I like to spend time with friends. Meet up frequently and DO things, doesn't have to be anything special. Just spend time together. That is what I miss the most, quality time with friends. Not enough of that here.
A pic from last night before Lexi and Sharon came over. Yes, I love pink and Hello Kitty.



I made mashed potatoes from scratch. Brown gravy from two bags, I am not sure how to make homemade gravy, I tried twice and it didn't turn out good. Then I also served chicken with walnuts. You cook the chicken with the walnuts folded inside of each piece of chicken, plus I also heated up the reminder of the walnuts from the bag separately and served that as well. And some chopped up cucumber, orange bell pepper and radishes. Strawberries, blueberries and whipped cream for dessert. Lexi didn't know that you can make whipped cream at home. I always do, I don't like the ready made stuff you can get at the store, like Reddi-wip or whipped topping, it is gross. I also like the whipped cream they make at Starbucks. It is SOOOOOO good. And real, not some crap from a can.



Well, my exciting plans for the rest of the day? Eat. Laundry. Take Chhaya out again. Work on my taxes. Finish reading the book. Not necessarily in that order. Better get started.......

It's later here Tuesday night, I am full and tired. I had a busy day today. I had Lexi and Sharon over for dinner and that was very nice. So I prepared and cooked the food this afternoon. Sharon asked me if I always eat this much, meaning how much food I put on my plate and yes I do, I have a huge appetite. And now I am laying in bed with a pregnant looking stomach and Chhaya is in bed with me.
I recently read a discussion about people's opinions of letting dogs sleep in bed with you. To me it is absolutely normal that Chhaya sleeps in bed with me, she can sleep wherever she wants, get on the couch etc. She has two of her own beds, one downstairs and one upstairs and she sometimes spends the night in one of her beds. Actually one of the beds is so comfortable that I even fell asleep in it once, I had laid down in it to cuddle with Chhaya and next thing I know I woke up from a slumber. Some think it is dirty and gross to let a dog in the bed with you. I don't think it is as long as you keep the bed, the dog and your house reasonably clean. Chhaya is clean and she smells so good and she loves to cuddle. I love sleeping with her next to me.



I once had a dog trainer come to my house, I was looking into getting some lessons for Chhaya and myself. And she told me that in order to train Chhaya right I had to stop letting her sleep in the bed. I looked at her like she was crazy. And she also had the nerve to blurt out something in the style of, "Oh is she your security blanket or something?" Ummmmmm.........NO and I did not sign up for any of her training sessions after that. Security blanket? Whatever. Some people believe in not letting the dog on the furniture, I believe that Chhaya is a family member and she can basically do whatever she wants. And she is very mindful, aware and polite. To me it is way more gross to have a filthy and crusty bathroom or a dirty fridge or an unclean flatware tray or drawer full of old food scraps, crumbs, hair and dust - yuck.
I need certain things in my house to be clean and the kitchen where you keep and cook the food and the bathroom where you tend to your hygiene are to me areas that I have to keep very clean. I'd rather have Chhaya is bed with me with whatever "dog germs" she might have than have a grimy flatware tray.





Anyways, I am totally engrossed in my new book The Stonecutter by Camilla Läckberg. I can't stop reading it, I had to force myself to put it down so I could write this entry. Now I need to read her other novels. It's getting late, my eyes are tired but I must read a bit more! And chew on my cuticles.