Welcome to Chaos !!

I just got home and peeled off my fake lashes and washed off my make up. I usually reuse the same pair of lashes for up to three weeks, no need for a new pair every night. Speaking of lashes, I need to stack up on more, my fake lash supply is running low.
I liked the double ones I had a while back, I need to get some more of those. They are called Ardell Double Up lashes in case you need some too.
Well, I am going to sleep, I am tired and I need to get up early. I have a busy day tomorrow.

I had a pedicure yesterday, at a place in Kenai called Nail Boutique, my first time there. It was better than the place in Soldotna that I went to like twice. The first time I went there some lazy girl did my pedicure, she was so lethargic, moved slooooow and looked totally uninterested and did a bad job. The second time I went there I asked for her brother, he did a better job but not good enough for me to stay. So I decided on trying Nail Boutique. I am picky with my pedicures. I want a good job on the cuticles, square cut toes and a good foot massage, at least two coats of polish and a topcoat. I always bring my own polish. The lady today did an ok job. The massage kind of sucked, it is hard to find somebody that does a good job on that part. When they do I am sold! And she kept on answering the phone, taking appointments. I hate that. It is disruptive and rude. I always tip $ 10 on a pedicure, more if they do a great job. I still have to find a place around here that does a great job instead of a halfway decent one.



I had some pizza the other day, Margherita. I love pizza, it's like the prefect food, simple yet delicious. In a few days I am going to see what the pizza in Chicago is all about. I am going to stuff myself with pizza and Polish food. Then dance it off at EDC.



Funny thing happened at work tonight. Some guy recognized me from Whispers in Williston. He had only been to two clubs in his whole life, last year at Whispers and here tonight. And I was there both times and he recognized me (of course). It's a small world. Both clubs in Williston (Heartbreakers and Whispers) recently lost their liquor licenses. Whispers for a shorter time than Heartbreakers. I have heard that there are too many girls in both clubs and that you have to keep a distance from the guys when you do dances and that the money has dried up significantly. This is just what I have heard, I don't know for sure. I still get e mails and comments on the blogs I wrote about the clubs from girls that want to know how they can get a job there. I don't know, I haven't been there since last year and I don't have any plans to go back at the moment. Sitting around at a small club with 20 + other girls with not enough guys does not sound appealing to me. I might as well stay where I am or go somewhere new.
It also snowed here the other night. The cold is sticking around. Today when I was walking Chhaya it was so windy and cold that I felt sorry for myself. Then I heard about the tornado in Oklahoma and all the people that lost their lives. I no longer felt sorry for myself. I felt really bad for the people in Oklahoma instead. How terrible. I can't even imagine going through something like that. One day you go about your normal life and the next your house is ripped apart by a tornado and you wonder if your loved ones are dead or alive. Crazy.

It is the night between Sunday and Monday, 1 15 am to be specific. I am such a night person. I got up at 10 am today and the first thing I did was to take Chhaya outside and made a bed for myself on the patio and snoozed outside for a few hours. I needed more rest for some reason. Plus I really like to sleep outside when I can. When the afternoon rolled around I finally felt energized enough to start my day. I did such exciting things today as going to the dump with a bunch of trash, very glamorous! Got a latte, so luxurious! I always sprinkle cinnamon on my latte.



Got food, watched tv and started a late night cleaning endeavor. All my energy comes at night time. Now I am finally in bed. I have a new book to read. Paulo Coelho, Manuscript Found in Accra .
New week tomorrow or today to be correct since it is Monday. Some people get really excited over Mondays, like "Yeeeehaw, a new week is here and I am getting all kinds of stuff done". To me, the days don't matter.

When I drive to work I spend the time listening to Coast To Coast AM. Sometimes the show is so captivating that I wish I was home instead so I could listen to the whole thing instead of only the 20 minutes or so it takes to get to work. Last night they talked about Angelia Jolie's recent double mastectomy. She had both of her breasts removed because she supposedly did some testing and found out that she carries some gene that can possibly cause breast cancer. I have read that the chances of her developing breast cancer were calculated to be as high as 87%. That is a very high number.
What would you do? Would you have your breasts removed because there is a chance that you might get cancer or would you live your life and worry about removing your breasts or get treatment only after you find out that you did indeed get cancer and the removal would be necessary? I would probably go with the latter alternative. I have also heard that 1 in 2 men will develop some form of cancer during their lifetime and
1 in 3 women. Human kind faces a bleak future. Also, mammograms (utilizing a machine that scans the breasts to find possible lumps) emits bad radiation into your body. It is recommended for women to start getting regular mammograms at around age 40 or 50, depending on where you live. Also chemotherapy, a form of aggressive cancer treatment, it's number one side effect is cancer itself. So chemo fights cancer but it can also give you cancer. Does that make any sense? How does all of this tie into Angelina? Well, as a very well known actress and public figure with lots of recognition due to her stunning looks (I think she is crushingly gorgeous), much talked about relationship and children and also her global charity work, she choose to share her mastectomy ordeal with the public. Just because OR is there an underlying reason? How does her revelation stand against ObamaCare and the large corporations that make big money by people having cancer and getting various cancer treatments?
Is there a connection? Some people think that she underwent her mastectomy for some other reasons than just personal. And I think they made many interesting and valid points when I listened briefly to what was said on Coast To Coast AM last night while driving to work.
Can we find a cure in nature itself by living a healthy life and eating non processed clean food? I think so. I think that the cases of cancer would drop dramatically if people lived healthier. I know I eat crappy food sometimes. Probably more than I am aware of or want to admit to myself. Most foods in the grocery stores are genetically modified. That is why I LOVE Whole Foods, it is my FAVE store. Organic IS the way and should be the only kind of food sold to us. Why should we be fed poisonous and modified food? Where is the logic behind that? I limit my meat intake but I am not a vegan. I have that daily latte and I eat ice cream and yoghurt. I know that the majority of milk cows live horrible lives but I still consume the milk they produce. THANK YOU beautiful cows, somewhere inside of me my soul cries for those cows and all the other animals that suffer to feed us, clothe us, bathe us and make up our faces. I can never ever become as pure as an animal, that is how I feel. I am a consuming and destructive human, driven by my ego. The cows are getting fed grain, GMO grain. They are also fed animal by products, absolutely unnatural and it causes them to get sick. We eat their meat and drink the milk they produce. Of course we will get sick from eating sick cows.
Or chickens, or pigs. One of the diseases we get is cancer. There is not a huge profit for pharmaceutical companies if people could cure themselves from nature. It's all about money and greed. People are selling their souls. I think that nature holds the cure to all of our diseases but we live out of sync with nature. But then I can only imagine getting the dire news of cancer and having to choose between the chemo and the drugs, something most physicians will steer you towards, since it is all about profit or be brave and try to go the natural way and cure myself through food and exercise.
The best thing of course is to not get cancer in the first place. Even people that live a seemingly healthy life get cancer, because of our environment, there is poison everywhere. Food, cigarette smoke, GMO's, fluoride, cleaning products, carpeting, building materials, pollution, living a stressful life and the list goes on.......
Some people believe that we live in the time of Enlightenment. I do too, we will become aware more and more how much we have been lied to by the government. That is the enlightenment, the realization that we have been kept in the dark, poisoned and pushed down, turned against each other to divide us. Divide and conquer. Where is the REAL freedom in that? We are led to believe that we are free, to keep us calm, to control us. Because if you really think about it, we are not as free as we think we are.
There have even been talks of censoring the internet, some countries practice that.
I believe that humans can live to be well over a healthy and alert 100, instead we wilt up and die around 75 - 80, (life expectancy also depends on where you live). We end up getting sick with Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. Why is that? Does the government aka Big Brother prevent us from living and reaching our full capacity? I know that these issues are mind boggling and difficult to think about. It is easier to go through the McDonald's drive through (a very busy place here), turn on the tv and zone out. That is what we do, work, eat, sleep, pay taxes and zone out. Thinking and especially critical thinking is not encouraged. It can also be dangerous. But I do believe that we are awakening slowly and becoming more aware of what's going on.

I like places like Hippocrates Health Institute, look
Hippocrates, "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food."

Friday again, it feels like it was Friday just yesterday.......
I am going to write this, then run off to the gym for some cardio. I like how sweaty I get after 30 minutes on the elliptical. As you might know I read about ten other blogs besides writing my own. I read Swedish blogs, I like it, it is fun and interesting for the most part. That is why YOU read my blog right? Because I am so fun and interesting? I do not always agree with what those other bloggers write about or do, some of them are young and immature, some are kind of dumb. One girl is only 19 and I almost feel like her Mom when I read about her crazy antics and problems. And I do not expect or think that anyone that reads my blog should agree with everything I have to say and my opinions. I have opinions about pretty much everything and some of my opinions are kind of harsh, I know this. I can be judgmental but at least I am aware of it and have no problem with admitting to that. Sometimes my opinions and views on certain issues change depending on if I experience something in my life that affects this and sometimes I just change my mind about something, it's as simple as that.
Life is a constant change after all, kind of scary. Sometimes I just want things to be the way they are, it would feel much safer like that.
I noticed that in the Swedish blog world it is almost frowned upon if you write about going to the gym or put up a pic of yourself at the gym. God forbid if you put up a pic of yourself that shows a lot of skin and you happen to be on the skinny side. Then all the girls with "body issues" and insecurities chime in and talk about how difficult it is to see somebody that is skinnier than them and that it gives them anxiety and makes them feel bad about themselves. I don't get that. Some people are skinny. Some people are chunky. Some people are fat. Some people are fit. Whatever. I do not feel bad over the fact that I go to the gym or run and that I am skinny (I guess I would be considered by most to be "skinny"). Why should I feel bad or ashamed over that? So it would be better if I was 200 lbs and shared pics of myself in a sports bra at the gym or squeezed into my outfits at work? Because then fewer women would feel bad about themselves? Because if you are size large then you are large and proud? But if you are size skinnier then you should hide that not to step on the larger women's toes? Plus I don't think that being skinny automatically makes you good looking either. I like thicker girls, I think that's sexy. There are plenty of girls out there that are skinnier, prettier, fitter, have nicer boobs, a perkier butt etc etc than me. And I don't care. I am me. I like myself the way I am, for the most part. I have my bad days and I have days when I think that I am super amazing (most days, ha ha!). Plus it is not all about appearance anyways. DUH! I like going to the gym. Not always but I like how I feel afterwards. I like going for a run, getting sweaty and breathing in the fresh air deep into my lungs. I don't understand why some people are so sensitive? When there are more serious issues to get upset over. Like animal abuse.
Yes, there are times when other people's appearance bother me. Like when women work out at the gym in shorts that barely cover their ass. Or guys with shorts that barely cover their balls. Kind of gross. There is a time and place for certain things.
I don't go grocery shopping in my bra and panty set that I wear at work. What would that accomplish exactly? I don't need that kind of attention because I am not insecure.
Well.....I need to get going. I know I said yesterday that I was going to give my amazing readers (YOU) a Hustler style pic of myself. LOL. I don't even have pics like that of myself, not really my style. Even at work I keep it rather "classy", as classy as you can get in a strip club. You would know the difference if you visited a club and observed the girls for a while. Some are not so classy. We are all different.
But I have this pic. This is what I look like when I wake up. Not.



Photographer KANE

Hi, it's Tatiana your favorite weather girl reporting on the current climate for today. It is a gorgeous rainy and cold day here in Kenai, Alaska. A perfect day for either going to work, sitting at home watching movies or grabbing a latte somewhere. That is exactly what I am doing, enjoying a latte at Coffee Roasters. And after my latte I am going to the gym. I need some endorphins, the natural way.





Since the weather sucks and works sucks and I am feeling cranky, I should make an appointment with a doctor and get a prescription for some anti depressants.
According to the latest Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, also known as the DSM-5, almost half of the American population could fall into the mentally ill bracket. If you are sad because a loved one dies or have PMS you can consider yourself mentally ill. GREAT, I am officially insane! I get PMS and sometimes I am happy and sad like 20 times a day. Does that make me crazy or does that mean that I am a normal, healthy human being with feelings? The amount of pills that people pop without putting any (it seems) thought behind it is actually scary. They are NUMBING themselves and I think that, if anything is bad. And I think people should be aware of that their prescription drug record might affect employment and the eligibility to buy a gun. You know, nobody wants a person that is classified as "crazy" to own a gun. Right? Not to mention how all those meds will affect a persons mind and body in their future. You know the day when you stop taking them, because those anti depressants are supposed to be temporary in most cases.
But if you are a girl on psych meds you can always become a stripper. The crazier the better! Nobody cares about your mental health in the strip club unless you are absolutely totally off your rocker and scaring off the guys.
Hey, it is OK and NORMAL to feel sad and unmotivated some days. Even many days.
I am sad sometimes. And unmotivated. Do I always jump out of bed with a big smile on my face ready to embrace my day and get a gazillion things done? NO. But that doesn't mean that things would get better and easier if I would poison my body with some kind of medications. And become a zombie. Sure, maybe some individuals are better off on psych meds. I can't speak for them. There are some people out there that need those meds. But it seems like a lot of people are on meds. Are that many people really in need of that anti depressant?
I think this rainy day sucks but I am going to the gym in a while, to exercise because I know that it will make me feel good. Then I have to take Chhaya out and breathe some fresh air. That too will make me feel good.
Some days I don't know what I am going to write about. It is not always easy to come up with a blog. Especially on a rainy day, or when work sucks, or when I have PMS or feel extra cranky. LOL. But I do it anyway, even if not all the entries turn out that great or interesting. It makes me happy that my readers are steadily increasing. Between 1300 - 1500 plus every day now and that in itself is motivation to write something. And to celebrate that I am putting up some Hustler style pics of myself here tomorrow. NOT! I am joking. That is not going to happen. Well, I am off to the gym now.