Welcome to Chaos !!

Well, the camping trip didn't turned out the way I was hoping it would. It was actually almost like torture at times. Why? Mosquitoes. All over. Relentless. I have never experienced anything like it before. Awful. Everything else was perfect. The location. A rustic cabin on Engineer Lake. The weather, sunshine and warm. But the mosquitoes were everywhere. Even though I used herbal mosquito spray, DEET, sticks, coils and there was a camp fire going. Tried to go on a hike through the forest, had to turn around cause there was a large buzzing cloud of them surrounding me. I felt bad for Chhaya, they were all over her and I sprayed her down with chemicals too. At night there would be a few in the cabin, trying to suck blood and keeping me up and annoyed. I could not lay out and get a tan and read my books for long. The other night when I took a bath I counted 45 fresh itchy bites on myself. That is not counting the bites that had already went away. At one point I had six red and swollen welts on my face. And they are here too.....around the house. WTF! And GROSS!
But it was still very pretty at Engineer Lake. Chhaya had fun and I did too at times.

















I am never again going camping when there is a crazy mosquito outbreak like this. I can take some bugs that goes with being outside but I don't want to get eaten alive by them.

I am actually out in nature, camping and enjoying life right now. The last two entries were written on Saturday but I scheduled them to appear later. I should be back here writing by Wednesday. So a day or two without Tatiana......can you handle that? I am probably reading a book somewhere in the forest right now with Chhaya sniffing around and exploring close by. Talk to you again on Wednesday no later Thursday. XOXO 🙂

Check out my new cute bras. All from Victorias's Secret. The black one is from their Designer Collection and it is covered in sparkly small black stones but you can't really see that in the pic.



New Honey Dew's. I want the blue ones with the light green trim too. I am going to have to order those, hopefully they are still in stock.

Here is some new stuff that I got. The new Juicy perfume, VIVA La Juicy La Fleur. It is a flanker meaning it is a play on the original, VIVA La Juicy. I love the way this one smells..........mmmmmm. And the bottle is so pretty as all the Juicy perfume bottles. I save the bottles. One day I will do something cool and artsy with them.
Then the Josie Maran Argan oil. So far I have been using it on my face and in my hair and I like it. Also Kiehl's Midnight Recovery. Haven't tried it yet but when I do I will let you know if it lives up to it's promise.



A super KAWAII Hello Kitty mirror. Love it.

Here are some pics of the hair I pulled out when I waxed. I don't think that waxing the legs hurts at all, in fact I kind of like the feeling. Waxing the bikini line stings a little and as far as waxing the whole VAGINE, getting a Brazilian - NO WAY. I would probably faint from the pain and get about 100 ingrown hairs as a result. Can you be a feminist and still wax, shave, like pink and be a dancer (stripper)? I think so. I am definitely a feminist. But I also like to keep the hair on my various body parts shaved or trimmed, except for the hair on my head, I like to keep that long. Even before I had any knowledge about stripping I shaved and trimmed.
Not to keep some guy happy but because I like it like that and I think it is cleaner from a hygiene standpoint. Even on guys, I don't like it when a guy has a huge growth of sweaty armpit hair or a large moist bush down there. Trim that! And that is my opinion. Some people would never shave or trim, they think the hairier the better or that we have hair on our bodies for a reason.
Being a feminist has nothing to do with shaving your VAGINE, if that is what YOU want to do. Sometimes I let my hair grow out a bit. Because I want to, I like to take a break from the shaving once in a while. Being a feminist is believing and demanding the same rights and opportunities as men in society. Yes, there are differences between men and women, from a physical aspect. But come on with that crap that some places get away with, not letting women have any or limited rights. That is bullshit! Get with the times already!
Can you be a dancer and a feminist? Well, I have some moral struggle with that at times. Do I think that strip clubs really bring anything important or valuable to society? Probably not so much. We could probably get rid of all the strip clubs and keep on existing well without them. They did in Iceland.
On the other hand, I think that I do my job without letting anyone talk down to me, degrade me or treat me in any way I am not comfortable with. I am definitely not afraid to speak up, talk back or put idiots in their place. Because once in a while my path crosses with some douchebag and I have to deal with him and sometimes it's a her, accordingly. You can dance and carry yourself with pride and respect yourself, absolutely. I have no huge hangups with nudity, I am totally comfortable with nude beaches, hot springs etc. It is what you choose to do and how you act in any given situation that matters. I work topless and naked but I won't go home with you or let you touch me wherever you want to. Why? Because I don't want to and I also do not bend the rules we have at work. There are women that work in "respectable" fields that do things that I would never even consider doing from a moral aspect. I don't even think that I need to give any examples, you can probably think of some things yourselves.
I also love it when I can change people's stereotypes about dancers. You know......dumb, uneducated, drunk, druggie, slutty etc. Those things do not apply to me whatsoever and I am proud to say that. A dancer and a feminist, it works for me.

And let me add something. When I say slutty I do not mean to do any slut shaming. Hey, if you sleep around with a lot of guys or girls and are happy, go for it and good for you. As a feminist I think men and women should be able to sleep around and have sex without any slut shaming or stigma attached to it. What I meant is that dancers often are looked at as sluts, many times from other women that do not understand or have some kind of negative stereotype attached to dancers. I am more a relationship kind of girl......no relationship, no sex, I take that stuff kind of seriously. But if other people want to sleep around, whatever go for it. Whatever floats your boat.

Hello.....thought I would check in so ya'll know that I am alive......decided to stay home instead of working. Why? Well I waited until today to wax my legs and now I have red legs. I could not resist and waxed a tiny bit on the bikini line too and that looks really red also. I could go to work but I don't want to apply any cover up on the redness and I feel lazy and kind of not in the mood. I think I am going camping tomorrow so work will have to wait until next week sometime, I am still on vacation as far as I am concerned.
Got two new books. And The Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini. I have read his two prior novels. The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns . If you like to read, pick them up. Although be warned, you will probably cry, it's painful reading. This new one was very good as well, not as sad as the other two, still sad in a thoughtful kind of way. Made me think about my life and how fast time disappears. And THAT makes ME very sad. One day I am going to be 100 and look back at my life and feel like it all went so fast, TOO FAST!
Also got and read on my trip back from Chicago, Sex, Lies and The Dirty a memoir by Nik Richie. This is the guy that started the gossip website thedirty.com The memoir basically describes how he started The Dirty, got it running and also describes him having gross sex with all kinds of girls that he continuously disrespect throughout the book until the meeting and wedding to his current wife, Shayne Lamas. I go on The Dirty sometimes. It can be entertaining but Nik is a self proclaimed judge of women and what we should look like. Personality and intelligence do not matter much in his world. You should be blonde, thin, young and have big fake boobs. If you have an ugly nose (and most noses are awful according to him) you should fix your nose before you get a boob job. After you have a boob job your looks improve automatically two points. He calls the boob job + 2's. So if a girls used to be a 6 (on Nik's 0 -10 scale) she becomes an 8 after getting + 2's. Your inner thighs must not touch. The inner thigh gap or ITG is crucial to have in order to be considered "hot". If you are over 30 and weigh over 130 lbs you are ancient and fat. And bla bla bla.......I laugh at it all, I would never take any of that crap personally. I weigh over 130 lbs and I certainly do not have a boob job and neither do I feel any kind of desire to get one. For what? Nik is making money of The Dirty. He does manage to sometime say something of substance on there, so I suspect that he is a pretty smart guy but he is painfully obsessed with only the exterior in women. What is he going to do when Shayne (his wife) gets old? I can only hope that no young girls get influenced in a negative way from reading all the crap on there. Have I ever known anybody submitted to The Dirty? Yes, one girl that I used to work at The Bush Co with but she now lives in Vegas. What they said about her was pretty spot on though......they brought up her cocaine use and the fact that she is a Mom. So good luck dancing in Vegas now is all that I have to say about that and I hope that she finally stopped drinking and drugging and got her act together for the sake of her kids.