Welcome to Chaos !!

A personal disaster has happened! My selfie machine is BROKEN! Oh....selfie machine = cellphone in my world. I take so many pictures of myself (OF COURSE) and Chhaya and other people and stuff too that I just renamed my phone the selfie machine. I dropped it too many times and the last time I dropped it, it cracked over the camera lens in the front so now I can't take selfies in reverse mode (if that makes any sense, not sure how to describe it better). I can still take pictures but the regular way. So I have been taking pics with my camera (I have two, a Sony and a Canon) but it's NOT the same because with the selfie machine the process is fast and easy if I want to upload a pic to the blog. With a camera I have to download the pics from the camera to my computer and then upload to the blog......arggggghhhhhhh! I need to find a selfie machine doctor in this village so the problem can get fixed PRONTO! Here is the cracked screen......



I went to work last night. It was a fun night, I met some very entertaining people that understood and appreciated my humor, they renamed me "Lady Borat". I LIKE! Not only were they funny they were also smart, after spending a couple of nights in the club they correctly pointed out the number one prostitute in all of Kenai (and it's NOT me in case you are slightly confused).
If you have seen Borat you know that there is a joke about the number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan (his sister) and guess what, we have one here on the Peninsula as well! And they figured out who the number two prostitute is as well, spot on! Without any assistance from me. They also pointed out who the crazy tweeker is. It is getting THAT obvious. Many guys are noticing and talking about her irrational and psychotic behavior, it's kind of sad but hey.....everybody is responsible for their own life and their own choices. Look people, meth is BAD.....OK!?
I can also inform you that I have some job offers in Bismarck, North Dakota selling cars and being the number two boss in an office. I passed my job interview with flying colors. How? Simple, by being ME. DUH, what else is new? But Boss Lady is refusing to sell me......unfortunately. It looks like I'm stuck slaving away at the club here for a while longer......

A few days ago somebody sent me this through my contact page, "You're gay right?" Hmmmmmm........am I gay? Yes, I am a very happy person.....thank you for noticing! You know GAY means happy, RIGHT?
But I do understand that this person meant to ask if I am a lesbian. Actually, no. I am open minded and I love and appreciate beautiful women. I don't have any insecurity issues since I am quite happy with myself.....I'm GAY! LOL.
I especially appreciate Rihanna and Irina Shayk and the kind of girls that walk in the Victoria's Secret annual lingerie show or model in Sports Illustrated, I also adore Kate Moss and pretty models in general. My taste is quite sophisticated, I prefer exquisite beauty - face AND body to a large wobbly ass and some huge boobs. Everybody has different taste you know.
I am pleased to say that my gorgeous Rihanna is number 11 (my fave number on Maxim's Hot 100 list). I love her, not crazy about the tattoos but I love her music, her voice, her attitude and the way she looks - she is my number one. I get Sports Illustrated every year cause I'm so very gay. Irina Shayk had an amazing cover a few years ago. I like her. She seems smart, here is some stuff she said, "I never take the backseat. Maybe if you're lucky, you can have a front seat too". And, "I'm not a person who cares about people's opinions. Some people like you; some people hate you. You have to be strong." Yes, I agree with Irina.
Check out my gorgeous ladies......





A lot of times insecure men with a cave man style, narrow minded mentality feel threatened when a woman is independent and strong. There MUST be something WRONG with a woman like that they think. And they often think with that small head in between their legs.....not the brain on top of their shoulders. That woman must be GAY! Or maybe she needs a GOOD FUCKIN'!? She probably hasn't had DICK for a long time??
Trust me, I can survive and thrive without penis. Thank you. Even better is the annoying dudes that come up to me when I'm at work and confrontationally demand/say, "SMILE!". Excuse me now, I am sitting here minding my own business and I smile when I want to OK?
I can assure you, just because I don't sit with a fake smile plastered on my face 24/7 doesn't mean that I am angry, bitter, an angry lesbian or hate men. Now do YOU walk around with a constant large grin on your face? Maybe you do, so good for you but I don't and last time I checked I was completely sane too. Plus what makes you the smile enforcer? Would you just saunter up to some stranger on the street and demand a smile from them?
Some men come in to a strip club thinking they should be worshiped or even obeyed because they have the money. Well, don't expect that treatment from me. I don't do that. I am myself, if you can't hang with somebody that might be quicker, wittier and smarter than you then go and talk to some moronic bimbo so your own short comings won't be so evident. I am super nice and can hold a great conversation with anyone about most topics but I don't like when some angry man takes out his frustrations on me. I will quickly put you in your place. If you treat me nice and respectfully, you will get the same treatment back. What's wrong, angry man? Do you need a good fucking' by a large and hard penis? Maybe you're gay?
And for the record....I have nothing against gay people. I am utterly grateful that they exist and add some sparkle to this world, this I have said many times. If Rihanna or Irina call, I'd be gay too. I will be with a girl if I'm attracted to her.
Of course far from every man I encounter at work or out and about is an annoying cave man, most are nice. And no I do not hate men and I am far from a bitter person. I just thought I would elaborate a bit on that "You're gay right" comment I got. Often I hear, "Your boyfriend is a lucky guy". Yes indeed he is. Very lucky. He knows this.

My poor baby Chhaya had an incident last night (I should had went to work instead of staying home) but I think she is OK. I gave her a bath (not popular) and cleaned her up to the best of my ability, made sure she felt warm, safe, cuddled and loved. She is sleeping right now in the other room, laying in the sunshine that is coming in through the window. She actually has a vet appointment for Tuesday, that I made prior to the incident yesterday evening. I take her to the vet for check ups.....I think she will be fine until Tuesday. I wish I could speak her language, cause I don't know how she feels.



I also found a Mama Spider giving birth to babies on my carpet. YIKES! I guess the babies sit on the Mom's back and jump off when they are ready or something like that. I was not too happy to witness this. I took Mama Spider outside to a safe place and those black dots next to her are babies.....and I have to admit that I sprayed the carpet down with Lysol and washed it. I do not want spiders that size crawling around my house, I think spiders are very scary although I know they do good. Now, did somebody put a curse on me or is finding a large black spider that's giving birth a sign of plenty of good stuff coming your way?



I spent my night reading and learning new things. Like this for example.......



So I might have Neanderthal genes? That's why my forehead is flat, that explains it! I read up a bit about Neanderthals after finding that and I have misjudged them in the past, they seemed much more evolved than I thought. Never again will I insult Neanderthals when I compare annoying and dumb men I come across to them. It's not fair to the Neanderthals.
I am also a descendant of Genghis Khan, that explains my long hair, my temper and that I am very bossy. If you listen to me your life will improve because I know what's good.

Sometimes when I tell people that I live in Kenai I get responses like, "No way, I have never seen you anywhere, you do not live here." Oh but yes I do. I am happily inconspicuous during the day. Do you really think that I am going to parade around town advertising myself in booty shorts, a push up bra underneath a tight shirt and caked on make up? No thanks, I don't need 24/7 attention, I get enough as it is. Yes, I live here. I live a quiet life because I want to. I get enough excitement at work.....thanks. I don't go out to the local bars because they don't interest me, I like raves and a certain type of music and I don't think they offer that at the Mav. Would I ever go out locally? Sure....I could but if I'm going to go out to some loud place with people drinking and mingling I might as well go to work at the club and make some money. Plus there are no raves here. I wear comfortable clothes during the day, only Shauna Sand and Courtney Stodden wear stripper heels when they are out and about but then they are also kooky.
Summer time I like soft tank tops, jeans or cropped sweats, a hoodie if chilly and flip flops. Flip flops until it gets too cold to wear them.
In the winter time I bundle up if I'm in AK but if I'm in Vegas I can dress comfortable and cute year round. Of course it does happen that people recognize me but it's not because I flaunt myself around.....for a lack of better wording.

Yesterday I woke up to this message. And you can also see my response.



Some people know and appreciate quality. Am I going back to whatever place this might be?
I don't know yet. And I am not going to tell you where this is until I go, if I go. I know that some dancers do not want to share this club with other dancers, they want it all for themselves. I think the spots are limited too, there are only so many girls allowed to work.
I am obviously one of them. And it's not the first time I have heard something like this from other clubs/owners. Strip club owners and/or managers should know quality, I would think it is in their best interest (unfortunately for them they do not always realize this). I have always said......quality over quantity. There is a "girl" working at the club here right now that has absolutely no business being a "dancer" or whatever she might be referring to herself as.
She clears the stage and scares people away. That does not leave a good impression or a good memory of the club. And you want people to come back. Not flee in horror.
I am sooooo tired and very glad I escaped from work early tonight. I was really not in the mood to work but did it anyways and thought I was going to either fall asleep from boredom and lack of a fun outlet earlier. There were a bunch of boring people and men old enough to be my great grandpa in there tonight. FOGBONES! I'm so happy to be home and in bed.
Oh yeah......so when I ran into Nancy and Honey yesterday, Nancy told me that she heard that I had been on some boat in Kodiak working. She said that Honey had been concerned for my safety. Nancy said that she told Honey that Tatiana is the last person you have to be worried about. She said that if anyone would try to do something I am not OK with I would probably kill them first and then contact the Coast Guard. That's right! I am glad that somebody knows me well! It's true, if somebody would try to hurt me or do something weird to me they would regret that very much. I am not the timid type.
But I am almost falling asleep while typing this......I need to take out my contacts and curl up and sleep. Maybe cuddle with Chhaya first. Isn't sleep one of the best things ever?

I had a busy day today, sometimes I feel like I don't have time to smell the flowers......and that's important you know. The flowers are only here for a short while.
Post office visit today (I finally sent off licorice and Dalahästar from Sweden to my friends).
I ran into Nancy and Honey at the post office, I have to remember to tell you what Nancy told me.....it was kind of funny but spot on. Errands. Then some tanning outside, who knows it might rain tomorrow, I need to catch the sun while it's here and warm. Then a walk with Chhaya. Stuff.....there's always stuff to do. And now it's 8 pm and I have to take a shower and get ready for work. I'm not in the mood for work tonight but I might as well go in. You know I'm tired of making only $1000/night at the club here, it's getting old. But I might as well go......I guess $1000 is better than nothing. Maybe I'll buy myself a new Prada bag tomorrow, I've been eying a powder pink one for a while.
I might bring in my laptop to work too, I might have something more to say (I always have something to say).

PS.....$1000 is a JOKE.....there are a few that will know what I mean with this joke too.
Dancers (some dancers) like to exaggerate their earnings, why I don't know. I just know that it is really LAME to do that.