Last night I walked by myself in the winter evening from Medborgarplatsen to T-Centralen......I felt like a stranger in my own city. This place that I am so familiar with but at the same time removed from. The familiar sounds and views.....I love my city but I also don't know where I belong. It is a conflicted feeling. Like where should I be? I don't know.
The ice quietly bumped around in Mälaren. I kept on walking......my heart on fire.
Walked by people giddily ice skating in Kungsträdgården.
The lyrics to a melancholy (melancholy sounding to me at least) song that reminds me of childhood. "Ingen dager synes än men stjärnorna på himmelen de blänka." I get a weird feeling in my stomach when I hear that song. Staffan Var En Stalledräng is the name of it by the way, it's a traditional Christmas song.
I got off the commuter rail and walked. It felt like one of those winters when I was a child. A beautiful evening, not too cold a great evening for a walk. Those childhood winters felt majestic and mysterious.