Welcome to Chaos !!


ICU is an abbreviation for intensive care unit and that is where a friend is right now. There are beeping machines, tubes, needles, bags with fluids......I am so sensitive to anything blood and needle related that I was close to fainting today. I had to sit down, concentrate on my breathing and hope to not pass out. BARF! I have a lot of respect and admiration for the people that work in hospitals caring for others.
I don't think I could do it. I am way too sensitive.
Anyhow.....I am hoping for a complete recovery within the near future for my friend. Life is crazy sometimes.
A few days ago when I visited for the first time I saw a small dead bird by a trashcan next to the hospital entrance. I picked it up in a white napkin and put it in a less busy area, next to a tree. Such a pretty little bird, golden and green feathers. It was so still and peaceful looking. Of course I started crying......thinking about life and death and that one day life will get very difficult to deal with due to sad circumstances. It scares me, I don't want to. Sometimes I don't want to live because I don't want to go through emotional pain.
What is the meaning of life? I don't understand.

Some sort of a blood container or blood pumping machine? Scary!

And now to a whole different topic. Watermelon. Did you know that watermelon is a diuretic? I just learned that. My brother loves watermelon and when he was here he ate a bunch every day, so I started eating it too. One evening I had a bowl of watermelon before bedtime and I had to get up and pee six times during the night. I was like.....I did not know one had to pee this much from eating some watermelon! Now I am addicted, I am eating watermelon every day. I need to learn how to pick a whole one that is nice, ripe and sweet so I can cut it up myself.

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