Change

What an EMOTIONAL day......! I have been crying and crying. No I'm not sick or pregnant, nobody has died, Chhaya is doing good, it's ME. I'm scared, scared of change. I want things in my life to change, well I have been wanting things to change but now when change in coming.....I DON'T WANT IT! I'm scared, I'm not ready, I don't want to be taken out of my comfort zone, my routine, my daily life, why is it so difficult with change? At least for me it's difficult and yet life is constantly changing, usually small changes but sometimes big and life altering. Some happy some sad, some bad some good. There is constant change. Am I doing the right thing?
Why does life have to be so complicated sometimes? I don't want to, I can't deal with overwhelming situations, I just want to lay in bed eat chocolate and pull a thick cover over myself, bury my head in a soft pillow and hibernate like a bear until next year spring time.
I can only imagine how I'm going to react and deal with stuff when something really bad and/or sad will happen, because sooner or later it will, that's life. I will be a mess, a complete mess. It's feels so comforting to have awful things to look forward to......
I did eat chocolate today. That pink Himalayan with caramel is really good.



And Chhaya is my angel. She makes me so happy. Look at that face! When it gets dark and around 8 or 9 PM Chhaya wants to play. I love her soooooo much. ❤



I think I'm going to take a bath now and wash my hair. My face needs a thick layer of moisturizer after all that crying today.