Ribs

So.....if you have been reading my blog for a while you might have noticed that I have been making a couple references to being an anorexic stripper with brittle bones and a meth habit lately. Of course I'm joking! I am obsessed with Breaking Bad, like most people and I think it's like the best show ever. Walter and Jesse are my heroes. But what really sparked the jokes was a comment I got a few weeks ago. I thought it was kind of funny, hence the jokes.
This was the comment, left by a "greg", "Sexy anorrexic rib cage picture. Show me more of that please , sick unhealthy strippers are the best. The older the better, dont fall down you might break a hip. Do guys like touching those ribs? "
I think I figured out where the comment came from. I was at work in Vegas, it was April 1.
I was in a really funny mood and walked up to a group of four guys. The conversation turned into me quickly making up a story (hellooooo it was April 1!) that I was a convicted bank robber and part of my deal with the judge was to do 100 hours of community service in one of the Vegas strip clubs. I said that in Vegas, women have a choice of doing community service in a strip club.....Vegas is Vegas and the town is unique like that. So they thought it was a funny story and one of them seemed really into it and we kept the banter going for a while. They asked if they could read about it somewhere and I told them to google Tatiana Supernova (which they probably did, found the blog and that is where the comment comes in) to read all the details of the bank robberies. Then one of them blurted out something in the lines of that I looked kind of old to be a stripper and snarkily added that he thought I looked like 31. I told him that if he thought I looked old and 31 he should just sit back and wait, the club was full of ladies that looked and actually were 10 -20 years older than me, easily. Then another one in the group, the seemingly more intellectual one, decided that he was going to get a dance and we walked off but instead of doing a dance we talked.
He informed me that I "wasn't it" for his friends. Not look wise but personality wise, because I had opinions and talked back. OK......Let's put a few things straight here. What guys think of me, whether I am "IT" for them, looks or personality, is NONE of my concern. I stopped worrying about trivial little things like that a long time ago. And I advice all women to join me on that, I promise you that your life will become much better! Yes, I am a dancer and I make money based on what I look like, I am fully aware of that fact -thank you very much. But I am who I am at the same time. Playing dumb is something that I never do. I know some women play dumb because they are basically trying to be manipulative in gaining something they want in the end. And good for them, I guess. But I don't have it in me to play dumb, I am aware of that I come off "bitchy" in many insecure men's eyes and I really don't give a shit.
Or how my newly found fellow dancer that I now love, Stella puts it, "Some customers won’t like you. A lot of customers didn’t like me because I don’t play stupid, which equates to being a bitch in their eyes. This is fine."
At work people comment on the way I look all the time. I collect unusual compliments, besides the regular ones like beautiful, gorgeous, pretty, sweet, bitch etc. Bitch is a compliment in my book. My latest addition to the collection is "flawless specimen". As far as my age goes, I get anything from 22 - 35. The last guess was 23 from a man on a business trip to Vegas from China. I'm really in my mid 50's (shhhhh don't tell anyone!) but manage to stay so young looking by indulging in weekly goat milk baths (if it was good enough for Cleopatra it is good enough for Tatiana) and frequent nightingale dropping facials. My Polish genes probably play a part too.
I do have to admit that the next day after that comment was left on my blog, I rushed to a renowned Vegas plastic surgeon and signed up to participate in a new experimental study of some super botox and fillers. They injected my whole face for free......since it's a new study I can't reveal too much about it. My whole face might melt off if things go bad or I might look like 15 again. I'm excited!



Look, the guy who sat in the booth with his friends that night, looking like a very BASIC person, probably had a chip on his shoulders about what his preconceived notions about dancers were......or maybe he just had a bad day or a shitty life in general. I don't know.
I could rip him apart, I'm pretty good at that (insert EVIL laugh here) but let's just stick to BASIC today. It's a new fave word of mine to describe people. BASIC.
I have enough self confidence that I could bottle it up and sell it. Ladies, don't let any guys opinions about you make or break your day!
And as far as my protruding ribcage goes......it makes me a TON of $$$! I charge $ 100 each time somebody lays a finger on my precious skinny ribs. Check them out......SEKSI huh?



What else before I go on with my day.....? Oh yeah, my meth habit. OF COURSE I have a meth habit, ALL dancers (strippers) do.....we all know that! Right? Lucky for me Walter didn't really die at the end of Breaking Bad (duh that was just for TV). He set up shop in my basement, so I am doing that blue meth and dating Jesse. Life is good!