Welcome to Chaos !!

Entries from January 2014

Friday, January 17. 2014

Walks

Here are some pics of mine and Chhaya's recent walks. We walk every day unless it's way too cold or raining.....because then Chhaya doesn't want to walk. Other than that she can wear one of her sweaters or booties if it's only a little cold. We stumbled upon a treasure while exploring around a local lake. A cash register.....I was hoping to find wads of money in it but it was frozen shut.











Wednesday, January 15. 2014

Thug Baby

We all know that opinions are like buttholes, we all have one. I have many opinions about all kinds of stuff. Especially strong opinions about such things as animal rights and the low lifes that abuse animals, people that don't have any business having kids, nasty people that litter, the so called dancers (low budget hookers) that I get exposed to at work, annoying guys and idiots in general. What would life be without these things? Probably boring. So you must be very interested in my opinions and what I have to say, since you are reading this. So here is another one. This one is about the video with the two year old "thug baby." You know, the adorable two year old boy that rattles off bitch, fuck and the N-word while wearing only a diaper, getting coached by some well meaning friends of the family. Sweet!
The Mom of the two year old thug in training is 16 (or 17, I'm not exactly sure), so she probably got pregnant at 15. My advice to teenagers is to keep your legs shut or have an abortion if you get pregnant. I had sex too as a teen (close to 17) and let me tell you, looking back at it I wish I would had waited, because it wasn't anything great or earth shattering.
It would had been much better (for me at least) to wait a bit longer, mature and make better choices. I am not saying save yourself for marriage because I don't believe in that either. But try saving your virginity and those experiences for something meaningful. Teenagers should enjoy and worry about other things than having kids and attempting to raise them. Of course there are the few teens out there that became good parents but come on now, they are not common. If you happened to be that great teen parent, then good for you. Pat yourself on the shoulder because you are a rarity.
I also wonder if the 16 year old Mom is on welfare? If so, she should not be allowed to have any more kids until she gets off welfare and starts earning a living so she can provide for herself and her child. I believe in such things as population control and that people on welfare should not be allowed to breed until they can pay their own way. Yes, I know I'm a total Nazi. If I were the President things would definitely get better, you can trust me on that one.
This 16 year old Mom should be the poster child for all the zealous pro lifers and the religious folks out there that don't believe in birth control, as in what NOT to do.
I actually think that the thug baby has a bright future ahead of him, if the cards get played right immediately. After all, we live in a capitalistic and sensation crazed society where the Kartrashians get glamorized and girls like Malala Yousafzai get overlooked and quickly forgotten by the masses. Kim's huge ass is way more interesting!
I say let the thug baby and his amazing Mom go on living as they were, put a reality TV crew in the house 24/7 and they will get instant fame Honey Boo Boo style. When he is 12 years old he can hire a ghost writer and come out with an auto biography, "Thug Life". Also, Ice Cube should cast him in a new Friday movie. Thug baby can sit on a couch, rolling blunts for the homies, surrounded by thick weed smoke and swearing. Maybe Lil Wayne can take the thug baby on tour with him and then he can release his own album in a year or so. He already knows how to say the three most prominent words in many rap songs - bitch, fuck and the N-word. He just has to learn a few more......I recommend ho, bling, benz, pimpin', fat ass, pussy, some slang terms for gun and there you go!
The Mom says that her boy is smart. Of course he is, there are probably unreleased videos of him reciting his ABC's and MLK's "I Have A Dream" speech. Besides, what Mom does not think that their own kid is smart? I think that Chhaya is smarter than most people I encounter, she is my baby. Time will tell if the thug baby will grow up to be the next Steve Jobs. It is possible, Steve Jobs was actually adopted, so his beginning was rocky too.
I don't know why this video of the baby cursing has shocked the nation? I think this is the reality for many kids in this country. Getting "parented" by unfit people. Hellooooo, wake up and smell the coffee people! If you spend more time worrying about if you have enough beer, liquor, weed or other drugs at home to take you through the weekend or the evening while your kid/s are at home with you, watching your merry "partying".....instead of spending quality time with your kid/s......yes, then YOU too are a bad parent. And that is MY opinion.
I have seen plenty of that and I think it's really too bad......too bad and sad for the kids.



Tuesday, January 14. 2014

Cosmic Latte

The average color of the universe is beige but that sounds kind of bland so it is actually called Cosmic Latte. I like that. The universe, if anything, is not bland.
I started out my day with a latte at Kaladi today. Met up with my sometimes coffee companion Marlene. We chatted away about all kinds of stuff.



Did you know that caffeine withdrawal is considered a mental disorder and is listed in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders?
I don't get caffeine withdrawals, I just like the way my lattes taste and I like going to the coffee shop, sitting there for a while either alone or with company and drinking my lattes, it's the European in me. But if I pretend to have severe caffeine withdrawals, could I get classified as legally crazy and start collecting welfare? Maybe I don't have to work anymore!? Yeay!
When I got home I made myself and Chhaya something yummy to eat. All the left over food scraps I take out to an assigned spot in the yard, the birds and whatever other animals eat it. Better than throwing out good food.





Now I am ready for a nap. It's kind of windy outside, earlier it was snowing hard. I have to take Chhaya out in a bit but it's not going to be a long walk this evening, more like a shorter 15 minute stroll. I'm feeling strangely insane tonight, I must be having caffeine withdrawals! I can blame the caffeine withdrawals on everything now and perhaps even get away with murder.
I feel motivated to try a new sexy look at work tonight. Maybe this one would work?



I heard that some men like unstable borderline psycho women. It makes them (the men) think that they are in charge and they feel needed by the needy psycho chick, that leads to the man feeling extra macho, or something like that. I should show them psycho tonight!
A psycho they will always remember! :-D
One more thing, it is January 14 today.....we are two weeks into the new (still) year 2014.
Soon it will be 2020. How CRAZY is that??!!


Monday, January 13. 2014

I'm Not Alone

If you have been reading my blog for a while you know that I have been talking about the issue regarding all the extra nasty stuff that goes on in some (most, unfortunately) strip clubs. I am absolutely against it and I don't think that sex and strip clubs go hand in hand. I feel very strongly about this issue and have been upset many times and even felt sad at work because I have seen stuff that should not be going on at all in a strip club. After all, in majority of the clubs management makes you read and sign paperwork where the rules are being dictated. Rules that adhere to touching and sex. There is usually limited touching, in some clubs no touching at all is allowed and absolutely no sex. Strip clubs are not brothels. And to be fair, I have worked in clubs where management do a pretty good job to make sure that the rules are being followed for the most part. But I have also worked in clubs where the rules are only some words written on a piece of paper and basically everything goes. GROSS! I am a dancer, yes in strip clubs but I have not signed up for guys grabbing me wherever they think they should, I don't allow it ever and I don't think it should be allowed. Period. If I was ok with all the extra stuff, I would had worked as a high class courtesan in large cities across the world and raked in the money, trust me. But I don't want to do that. I am glad to see that I am not alone in feeling like this. And not the only one talking about it. There are other dancers that wonder what the hell is going on at the clubs they work at, they too are fed up with it and upset. I have been reading some online discussions with interest and I am going to share some of it here so you can see what other dancers are saying about this. I am withholding the names of the ladies.

"I've been dancing almost 10 years, and in the last year sh!t has gotten BAD, not only $ wise compared to 04-07 but in general, I cant do a $20 dance anymore without a customer thinking its OKAY to grope my tits, really...WTF??? this is getting ridiculous, I dont even feel like im a dancer anymore rather than a freaking babysitter. I should be able to DANCE for one song, without having to fight off every single guys hands that i dance for, COME ON, ladies have some balls and start telling the customers "HEY! if you want to touch lets take it to VIP" im guessing this has gotten so bad lately cause girls are so hard up they are allowing this MORE and more, so how bout we start enforcing a little more, so we can all be happier dancers!!!!"

"The club I'm at is just as bad with the demand of extras and lack of respect... plus half the customers come in to 'have a drink', no tipping, no VIP, and then leave (oh and half watch the music videos or a football game on the teles with their backs to the stage). I wonder sometimes if I am a dancer or a naked girl in a bar..."

"Lazy or desperate girls, scummy cheapass customers & scummy club mgmt. Can't tell you how many times I've slapped customers or kicked them in the face for grabbing me inappropriately or smacking my ass hard enough to leave bruises - then mgmt taking me into the office to lecture me for being a liability."

"This 'downward evolution' arguably started back in 2001 as both the result of the post 9/11 economic downturn plus increasing availability of adult internet content. It got much worse around 2008 as the result of major reductions in customer 'discretionary spending' budgets as well as an influx of new ''''dancers'''' whose primary objective was instant income ... sometimes by whatever means necessary. It was at this point that I personally decided to retire from live dancing, as the strip club 'show business' model clearly mutated into a 'sex business' model."

"Clubowners that find themselves increasingly hard pressed to turn a profit after paying higher property taxes, higher utility bills, higher insurance premiums etc. may make the situation even worse by tacitly or blatantly encouraging ''''dancers'''' to offer 'extras', from which the clubowner directly or indirectly earns a 'cut'. As was mentioned above, in a few instances this has now progressed to the point where some clubowners view clean dancers as a 'liability', since their failure to attract customer 'extras' money ( thus a 'cut' for the clubowner ) represents de-facto lost income for the clubowner versus replacing the clean dancer with another ''''dancer'''' who is willing to provide customers the 'bang' they are now expecting in exchange for their bucks."

"It sucks, but this is becoming the norm. I work in Detroit, which is extrasville. I just found a 'clean' club (guys still try to grope you and they get away with it if you don't stop them), but at every other Detroit club I've worked at, the majority of the girls did extras (I'm talking bj and sex). A lot of the clubs are basically brothels. These are the same clubs where touching didn't even used to be allowed.
When the economy went downhill, things changed. Girls started offering more for less. Some clubs started allowing it. Clubs lowered their hiring standards once they switched from paying the girls a wage to charging a house fee, because now the more girls they have the more money the club makes off them.
I don't know if the industry will ever recover. I don't want to diss my age group, but there ARE a lot of young, dumb strippers who just became a stripper for the hell of it and only want to get wasted and party with their stripper friends at work; they're not serious about the job. I feel like these days, unless you're at a super high end / competitive club, you'll see so many girls who are simply trashy and don't take their job seriously. It's not a 'job' to them, it's a social experience. Girls at mid tier clubs used to have to look great, well put together, hair done, nice outfit... now this is ONLY the case for top tier clubs. Dancer quality has gone down to the point that girls do extras and let guys grope them because they don't know how to be strippers. They don't know how to entertain; they don't know how to engage customers in conversation; they don't know how to keep a guy in VIP for hours. Until clubs raise their standards, this will be the norm. Trashy girls who let guys have their way because they don't know any better. So now guys think it is OK, and the cycle continues."

"In my city, you really can't do a legal dance or even a "clean" one and expect to make money nine nights out of ten. I have been dismissed by customers within 10 seconds of songs for not offering enough contact, and IMO, I begrudgingly offer medium-high contact dances. Groping and grinding is the baseline norm here, but now I have guys bitching if I don't immediately rip off my clothes and shove my crotch in their faces. I haven't been into work for two weeks because I flipped shit on someone who kissed me when I leaned in for his name and he then refused to tip me when I became angry--and my manager didn't give a fuck. I redirect hands, I ask them not to touch my nipples, I dance farther away, I get the manager--it all comes down to me walking away with $86 after working for 7 hours because other girls are fucking in plain view within fifteen feet from the main stage. It's insane. I have met fewer than five normal-minded girls in clubs. Most of them think I am ridiculous for not drinking, getting high, or fucking customers. They truly think that being a discount prostitute is the job description, and it's all good as long as the guy is buying them shots."

"While there have always been extras girls the difference is for the most part they did it outside the club because the club would fire them. Now even formerly clean clubs are now extras ridden and what used to be considered extras are now the norm. Hard to believe now but I got in trouble for kissing a regular on the cheek or even allowing a regular to briefly touch my legs. Also, yes the standards look wise have gone down. Back in my dancing days I worked at the midlevel clubs because I wasn't the Barbie type but even those clubs had standards. I recently saw the website of a club I once danced at and the dancers looked sleazy."

"IMHO today there is only one 'clean' strip club business model that can still be successful / profitable. That business model involves upscale clubs in big cities which only hire the 'best of the best' dancers ... which are able to attract upscale customers who fall into the 'top 5%' earnings tier. This caliber of customer can afford to spend $500-$1000 for basic 'entertainment' from low contact dancers during one trip to a strip club without feeling that they haven't gotten their 'money's worth'."

"I have spoken a few times where I saw this happen: owner gets greedy and either starts raising house or starts hiring less desirable dancers. Often times these less desirable dancers also happen to be hookers (and in one case were actual streetwalkers). Quality dancers leave and with them the quality customers. The club then becomes a skanky club full of hookers, pimps, drug dealers and low class men. Club then gets busted and often closes. Dancers that are used to making $200 a night doing air dances don't exactly like the idea of making $50 after doing extras (just throwing out random numbers). I resented when these clubs became unworkable because at one time they were nice clean clubs I brought friends to and wasn't ashamed to admit I danced there."

"I think if these dirty clubs start getting busted more often, and instead of just the dancer getting fire, the club gets a fined, it will end this quickly. Management can do A LOT to keep the club in control, by changing the club layout and enforcing the rules."

"Evolve with the times. Lots of guys spend money in strip clubs today, you just gotta be picky with you you dance for, I find. I refuse to dance/ talk to anyone who doesn't treat me with the respect I deserve, therefore I attract mostly respectful customers. Not all of them are perfect gentlemen, but all of them mind when I say no or I won't see them. Stripping needs a serious makeover. It needs to evolve. This is no longer the 80's/90's when girls where banking soooo hard every night. It needs an upgrade. The internet is the new thing of the day and I'm sorry, but it's 2014, if you are ashamed of your job/ worry about what others think of you working in this industry/ are afraid others might find out, this is not the arena for you. There need to be new standards for hiring in strip clubs all across the board, who is allowed in, webcams in clubs, schedules of dancers online, totally revamped websites etc. Nothing will ever beat meeting a woman face to face for some men and those men will spend bank. Stripping needs something to spice it up, I don't have all the answers, but it can't remain the way it is and continue to be successful.
My club recently put in ad in a local Mexican magazine, attracting more cheap ass rancheros with no money to spend and rampant expectation of extras/ sex/ titty licking/ haggling. It increased the clubs' drink sales, but did pretty much nothing for the dancers except piss us off and make our club look like a place where cheap asses come for a free show. I gave this guy a dance and asked for a tip after and he handed me a dollar... ONE DOLLAR. Lol... If you want people to come into the club and spend MONEY, go for QUALITY, not quantity. The club I work at has become a bikini bar where naked girls happen to do pole tricks and if you tip a dollar, they will grind on you and you can stick your finger in their ass. /sarcasm."

"Honestly, I think the party girl strippers don't help as well. They treat the job as a hobby and guys think they can get away with spending a few dollars. I know the club I'm at now has some extras, but according to the bouncers it just happens once in a while, and usually the girl is getting paid quite well for it. I honestly think the industry needs to become unionized. I think girls should actually have interviews instead of just stripping down during "auditions", which was basically my last one. I think we should get paid just like a server or bartender. I'm sick of seeing ugly bitches at high class joints and guys thinking they're entitled to more for their money. I think it needs to go back to what it was and be about entertainment and enjoying time with nice, hot girls instead of being whore houses. I also think that more dancers should learn pole work (working on it at the moment), have a kind of gimmick, instead of some dead faced looking girl half assed dancing on stage. Being paid employees would stop all that half-assedness."

"Things need to evolve or die. It's the nature of things. I think we're going to die. Between the advent of home poles, pole dancing classes for suburban soccer moms to "Unleash their inner stripper" eyeroll and trying to get pole dancing into the Olympics, it has gone mainstream and therefore not taboo anymore. Our job's glory days were when it was taboo and shocking."

"I am glad im not the only one noticing the HUGE decline is quality of dancers that are fucking up this business (aka 18-21 yr old skanks that dont treat it as A JOB) and the lack of guys actually realizing what they are getting themselves into when they walk into a strip club!!! I am repulsed every time i walk in there and see a table of 5-8 guys with NO GIRLS cause they dont spend a damn thing!!!!! wtf??? you think this is our community service??? not to mention most clubs show 0 appreciation for the dancers, and WITHOUT US, they wouldnt make shit!!! sorry for ranting i just hate that a once amazing business has turned into panhandling!!!"

"if there is any offsetting 'reality' from the 5-8 guys that aren't spending on dancers, from the clubowner's standpoint these guys are at least still paying cover charges and still generating club profits from drink sales. Without that revenue, the clubs would be seeking even more dollars out of the dancer's pockets and/or closing the club's doors due to bankruptcy thus reducing dancer earnings to zero."

'Welcome to the new US strip club paradigm ...
- a comparative handful of upscale large city clubs who hire a comparative handful of 'top shelf' dancers are able to appeal to 'top 10%' earning club customers who can actually still afford to spend a significant amount of money in a strip club, or
- 'dirty' clubs where girls offer enough 'extras' to pursuade 'working class' customers to spend their limited dollars for a happy ending tonight, and worry about how they'll buy groceries and/or pay their rent tomorrow, or
- neighborhood / small city 'clean' clubs that are being 'starved' into slow motion bankruptcy due to insufficient available 'non-essential' spending dollars from the club's customer base to 'pay the club's bills', and/or to provide the 'clean' dancers with enough income to make dancing at the club worthwhile in the future."

"And this is what has made me hate this business. I know everyone says that if you no longer enjoy dancing..get it out..But it isnt that easy for me, and prolly many others like me.
People do still come into the bars..They come in in groups..What pisses me off is that they sit around and dont feel obligated to tip the dancers..They dont care that we are there to pay bills and be able to survive...They just care about buying their alcohol and sightseeing for free.
It has become cool to hangout in stripclubs and be a part of the scene..Meanwhile shitting all over the dancers and making fun of us many nights that I go into work at least. And if u rnt the 'favorite' of the night u dont make shit...
I miss the days when people came in and appreciated us..Those were some enjoyable times..I miss dancing in that era."

"This was the major reason that I retired from live dancing 4 years ago...when it became crystal clear to me that the 'old' strip club paradigm... where dancers were considered to be 'performers' rather than 'sex workers', when 'top shelf' but clean dancers were treated with at least some element of respect by clubowners and club customers alike, and where 'average' club customers could still afford to spend a fair amount of money at a strip club without short-changing their mortgage payment and/or car payment and/or grocery and utility bills...was not going to come back into existence within the practical 'lifetime' of my dancing career !!!"


Yeah....there you go. There is much more about this subject, that was only a taste. But I need to go, I have other stuff to take care of today also besides the blog. I am glad that there are other dancers out there that feel like I do. There have been times at work where I have looked around the club in despair, wondering where all the "normal" and clean dancers are.

Sunday, January 12. 2014

Snowy Sunday

It's a snowy Sunday here in Kenai. I woke up and saw that there is a fresh layer out and it got colder too. I'm ok with the new snow but not that it got about 15 degrees colder. It has been pretty warm here for a while (considering it's January) and it's nice not too freeze.
I jumped out of bed when I got up and hurried over to Coffee Roasters, they close at 2 pm on Sundays. Maybe I'll go to the gym too later.
Last night was unusually slow for a Saturday. I guess the whole town was dead, the club checks with the cabbies and the bars about what's going on in town throughout the night. There were three guys in total. One old man that got drunk. He talked about that he wants to get rid of his Basset Hound because it produces larger poops than his Labrador. Just another great dog owner. No clue whatsoever.
The two other guys were sitting and talking about all the women they've had sex with, describing their physical attributes and arguing whether they hooked up with each others girlfriends, wives and sisters. And commenting stuff about the girls on stage. I told them to shut up when I went up and immediately got labeled "mean". I like that! Yeah buddy, mean is just a scratch on the surface. Go somewhere else and talk about women like that, we don't want to hear it.
So none of us made money (besides a little) but we found ways to entertain ourselves.
We laughed about such fun things as pinworms. Imagine a dancer with a pinworm infestation, the little fuckers would glow in the black light. One of my long standing jokes,
"Do you want to see my pinworms?" Yea, that is my kind of humor. Some of it. Then we laughed about Bukkake omelettes (still) and collectively felt very grossed out by it. I'd rather have pinworms for the rest of my life than do THAT, YUCK! Some girls organized their lockers. And that was that.







Saturday, January 11. 2014

Bossy

There is a reason why Bossy by Lindsay Lohan is kind of like my theme song. It is actually a good song, very cute, sassy, good message and perfect for me I think. What you think is none of my concern. :-D
I'd much rather sing along to or go on stage to a girl singing about being bossy than some rocker dude singing about a girl looking better with something in her mouth or a rapper yapping about bitches and hoe's that need to give him all their money. No darlin', YOU give ME all your money and shut YOUR mouth or stuff it with something.....thank you. I never go on stage to songs that I think are about putting women down and I will wait for another song to do a lap dance if something like that is playing. An example that comes to mind is
Fuck You Blind by Kid Rock. Although I like some of his other songs.
This is me laying down the law for Sharon last night. I am bossy (typical alpha female) but in a good way though. I want what's good for people. And sometimes they simply need somebody telling them what to do. That is just how it is. Sharon needs money, therefore she needs to bring her ass to work. Sometimes you just need that extra kick in the ass to get out of the house and DO SOMETHING.
And KOOTER is my new fave word for VAGINE.



Stop touching me without permission
Don't disobey, answer to me
Said if you wanna play, follow direction
We do this my way, my way, my way

What do you really want? What do wanna know?
What do you wanna see? Where do you wanna go?
If you leave it to me, we will not go slow
I got places to be, when you're ready let me know

I'm just a little bossy
I like it how I like it, when I like it and that's how it is
I'm just a little bossy
You got a problem with it? If I want it I get it now

Trust me, you want me happy
Punishment can be severe
Please me and I will gladly
Brighten up your atmosphere

Let me shine for you
Only if I want to

Key words here ladies...... Stop touching me without permission and Only if I want to .
Ladies, don't let some guy dictate your life. You are the captain of your journey!