Welcome to Chaos !!

It has been soooo nice out the last week or so, I am trying to take advantage of the nice weather because in a few short months we will be down to about six meager hours of daylight! I'd much rather have 19 hours of daylight.
The other day me at Chhaya went to the Captain Cook state park for some each adventures. And pictures of course.....





This pic definitely belongs in Italian Vogue!



A few years ago some girl I worked with at the Bush spied at my photos in my Myspace.
My Myspace was nothing I took very seriously....the whole thing was initially set up as a fun thing/joke. Anyhow I had a rather snazzy picture of myself up there and underneath I wrote that it was a photo shoot for Italian Vogue, as a JOKE. That must have rubbed her wrong because she felt the need to bring that to my attention. Like OK.....and? Excuse me but do I even know you? If Vogue would be calling it certainly wouldn't be her way, that's for sure. Photoshop can only do so much honey. I love it when girls get catty like that, it just shows their true colors. NEXT!
The leaves are changing colors and falling. I found this pretty one. I hope to go on one or two hikes sometimes soon. I need that.



Lately I have been eating huge salads that takes forever to finish because it involves a lot of chewing. Super yummy. I add dried cranberries and roasted sunflower nuts. Sometimes hard boiled eggs, cottage cheese or avocado. With freshly grated cheddar cheese on top.



And I took this picture of the sliver of pretty pink sky yesterday evening while I was out running. Maybe a run again this evening.....

http://abcnews.go.com/US/video/dog-skinned-alive-survives-brutal-attack-20257790

I know that I shouldn't be watching any news about animals tortured by people BUT since it is very much a reality in the sad world we live in I did watch this short video about Patty, a little dog that got skinned and stabbed. Disgusted is just the tip of the feelings that I feel. I own a gun. It's a GLOCK. I would sooooo LOVE to put a few bullets into the person that did this to the dog. I would not feel guilty about it, people like that do not deserve to live. A person that does this to a defenseless, innocent animal is obviously a very sick individual and should have their rights to move around in society revoked immediately. I think they should get executed, why keep waste like that alive? I don't see the point. I HATE people that torture animals.
Yes, that's right - HATE. And I am proud to admit that.

I still can't put up pictures on the blog.....so that will have to wait until that problem is fixed....hopefully soon!
So this evening was the finale of America's Got Talent. I haven't followed it closely, it's been on in the background once in a while when I have been getting ready for work. But since I have been home a lot in the evenings lately I did watch it last night and tonight. And I am so happy that Kenichi won. He is SO CUTE! I love him and I don't even know him, I am impressed with his creativity and his performances. I think that he absolutely deserved to win. And I love how he gushed over his wife and daughter. What a cutie! SUPER KAWAII!
Last night Caruso was performed on the show. That is probably my favorite song ever. I have ONE cd in my car and it is Pavarotti's Greatest Hits. I bought that cd a long time ago (over ten years ago) and only because Caruso is on it. It is the saddest song I have ever heard, it makes my heart ache and I can start crying when I listen to it and it is very, very beautiful. That song will be played at my funeral, if I ever have one.



Another song, if you can call it that, more of a performance, that I love is Carmina Burana by Carl Orff. How somebody could come up with a masterpiece like that is mind boggling to me.
I was feeling extremely irritable for no reason whatsoever earlier today.....PMS, it's lovely. So I forced myself outside for a 30 minute run and I feel so much better already. All I need now is a warm bath. I have been slacking on my running since I got back but I need to get on it because there will be snow here soon and running in the snow is not my thing.
One more thing, this years Permanent Fund Dividend is $ 900. It's an Alaskan thing. I have written about it before, so if you don't know what it is you can search in my entries for it.
So, you know what to do with your money (if you get the PFD) right? Give it to ME!

I love discovering new and interesting blogs. I was reading many easy blogs, full of mostly nonsense (for a lack of a better word) but still entertaining. But since a while now I have been enjoying some rather intelligent and very thought provoking blogs. I like that. And I still read the easy ones, they can be fun.
I really enjoy debating and discussing. Look, I know that people have different opinions and I welcome and appreciate that. Sometimes a new point of view will allow me to grow and develop as a person and that is what I want, I want to better myself. Some opinions and lifestyle's I will never approve of, like hurting animals or people, trashing nature and stuff like that. I don't want people like that around me.
So I discovered a new (to me) blog this evening. And it is GOOD. It is a feminist Swedish woman blogger, I read a few other Swedish feminist blogs already, so this one is a new addition. I read a few of her entries and it inspired me to write this one. About me being a feminist and being called ugly names by men. I have written several entries about being a feminist already, if you want to read them you can type in "feminist" in the search bar in the upper right hand corner and enjoy my thoughts.
What I want to talk about is when random guys I meet at work, that don't even KNOW me, think it is totally OK to say that I am a bitch, angry and/or bitter. I have heard this several times. I think I know why they, in their semi or very intoxicated state backed by a pea sized brain, say stuff like this.....more on that in a bit.
Actually, I am a rather happy and positive person. I wake up and go to sleep feeling happy and content with my life the majority of the time. Sure life can be hard and I get sad sometimes and I am not afraid to talk about that or share it. I do think, at times, that life is a series of hardships with happy events and experiences thrown in to make it easier and more livable,
I think that is a realistic approach to life. If you are not numbing yourself to cope. I go through my life sober. But I often feel extremely grateful and happy over the life I have. If I have an issue with certain people in my life, it is with THAT individual and the issues that comes with THAT person. Currently I am having a rather negative and on-going experience with a person in my life since a while now but I try not to let issues I have with one person transpire into how I relate to others and I still feel full of joy, despite that person. I had the best day today for example and I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, got my latte, came home and spent my afternoon outside doing yard work for hours, took Chhaya for a long walk, ate a huge and delicious meal (salad), played with Chhaya, watched some tv - normal stuff you know but I was SOOOO happy! I do love my life right now.
So when some idiot that I encounter at work calls me bitter/angry/bitch they really do not know what the fuck they are talking about. And I do not appreciate comments like that either. If anything I will either become even more "bitchy" (be careful boy!) or walk away and not pay any more attention to that idiot and that is usually too is difficult for them to understand. Listen honey, INTEGRITY is priceless for me, I can always make money at work, a bad night here and there is not going to ruin me. I'd rather have a bad night but feel good about myself than put myself through torture and pretend to appreciate some of the crap that comes out of certain people's mouths.
So now to my theory why I sometime (I want to stress sometime, because it's not all the time but the sometimes add up) hear these "compliments". Well, I think that men (many men) have a preconceived and wrongful idea of how women should act around them and towards them. And I do not fit into that idea. Look wise I might but certainly not (for some men) in the way I act. And especially not how they think a girl that works as a dancer (stripper) should act. I do not fawn over them, I do not flirt or give fake compliments, I don't care if they like me or not,
I do not act dumb or like a bimbo. I am outspoken, well spoken, confident and stand up for myself and my co workers if I happen to see any guy in there acting like an ass towards any of them. I AM MYSELF and that seems to be very difficult for a certain kind of man to deal with, therefore they resort to what they know best. Name calling and trying to dominate. So the women that stand up for themselves automatically become ANGRY, or BITTER or better yet BITCHES. LOL! Puhleeeze, come up with something BETTER, something of SUBSTANCE.
Use your intelligence, dig around for it! Let's discuss and debate and see what you have to come with! I am never going to dumb myself down or take less room than a man, at work or outside of work. Yes, you CAN be a feminist and a dancer, although I am aware of that it rather doesn't go hand in hand. But if any feminist is reading this and is feeling distraught by my profession, trust me.....I am doing my best and I am OK. I promise!
As far as my looks go (or lack thereof, he he).....I do not think that I cater to men. I've been pretty much looking the same for years. Even before I started dancing. I like having my hair long, because I like it, not because some men might like it. I do enjoy make up, pink nail polish and girly stuff, I do. But I do not feel the need to put on make up every day. Or wear revealing eye candy outfits. But hey, I am not going to wear a burqa either. I don't have any altered body parts to please men. I am not saying that women with fake boobs can't be feminists.....but you kind of have to wonder why they decided to get that boob job in the first place, unless it's some form of reconstructive surgery. And even then I am sure some of the most dedicated feminists would protest. I know one girl that got a boob job simply because she figured it would increase her earning potential at work (dancing) and it did and she is not dancing anymore, bigger and better things are awaiting her. And she actually had a reduction done to her boobs after she quit dancing.
Basically, if you can't deal with a strong and confident woman, then walk away and leave her alone. She doesn't need or want you and your shit anyways. So yeah.....that is all I had to say this late Monday evening.

There is something wrong with the blog.....it is moving to a new server or something.....I will write more as soon as this is taken care of.....but as of now I am missing pictures in recent entries and my media library (all the pics I have uploaded so far) is gone - empty. That is a SERIOUS glitch!
I have a routine kind of, I go to Coffee Roasters, sip my latte, read about the latest stuff going on in the world and write my blog. My friend Rose-Marie says I am like a Carrie Bradshaw
(Sex and the City). Arghhhhh! I have blogging withdrawals! There are pics from yesterday that are awaiting and more Burning Man stories!
😥

Every year Burning Man has an art "theme". This year it was Cargo Cult and last year it was Fertility. I SO wanted to go last year but when I got around to buy my ticket I was too late, the tickets were sold out. Anyhow.....I read up a bit on the meaning of this years theme but I am too lazy right now (just had a latte and actually feeling sleepy) to try to describe it. But the Man stood on top of a spaceship this year, until it got lit on fire and burnt to the ground.
You can read more about it here if you are curious.

There were impressive art pieces to be found all over the playa. I think there were 372 pieces. Some were huge. I have so many pictures but a picture doesn't make this experience justice. But this one is very pretty I think....read what it says. More to come.....



How about nudity on the playa? You would see the occasional totally naked person, lots of women with no tops on and many men in tutu's. And many people wearing underwear only. To me it was completely non sexual. It's not like the nekkid people are pushing their genitals in your face, they are very natural about the whole thing. Although I could sense a sexual energy at times but that had nothing to do with the naked people. So if you go to Burning Man, please leave all your backwards morality and prudishness at home. There is no place for it there. Did I run around naked? No. I run around naked so much at work already. I did take a shower and foam bath together with a bunch of other, mostly naked people. But I kept my panties on. If nobody is throwing money at me, those are NOT coming off.....OK?
Well.....I did get naked at the playa once, I will put the result of that here soon.
That shower/foam bath was AMAZING and very refreshing. If it is there next year I will go there once a day, at least. It was GREAT. A large group of people taking a communal shower with music playing and people dancing.......FUN!!!!



I also took two more showers at Burning Man. I found a tent called Pussy Riot where girls, or goddesses, as the two guys running the whole operation chose to address the ladies coming though as. And ya'll know by now that I am a goddess, right?
In the Pussy Riot tent, I took my sweet time and washed my hair and shaved. There was a group of girls there finishing up their shower before I got there and I observed how the only guy present, when he was around (it was his set up) was acting. I was not going to take a shower and get groped, no thank you. But he was totally cool and a sweetie. I am going to bring him something nice next year, if I can find him and his tent on the playa. Next to the Pussy Riot tent there was a shower set up called Dirty Hot Girl Shower. I took a shower there, in a totally see through shower stall and I felt a bit hesitant at first to step into it and start showering but people could not have cared less. Those couple of showers were wonderful and my hair really needed to get washed and conditioned.