Welcome to Chaos !!

Started my day with some swimming at the pool in Nikiski. Met up with Marlene, we work together, she likes to swim also so we are going to try to make this a habit......that would be good and fun. I like Marlene. Plus she has a very nice butt!
The pool in Nikiski is 25 yards long, that is roughly 25 meters, the standard public swimming pools in Sweden are 25 meters. So today I did 16 laps, then a rest, another 16, a few minutes of rest and then finally 20 laps. Easy.



Well, I need to take Chhaya out now and then I will just stay in tonight I think. I have laundry and stuff to do, plus I'm tired, I might actually fall asleep early.

I have been practicing shootin' my GLOCK the last couple of days. And I like shootin', A LOT!
I need to know how to handle the gun in case I have to use it one day. Chhaya gets very excited over anything that goes BOOM, she wants to participate. I have a couple of different clips for my GLOCK, 17 and 32. This is the 32. Meaning it holds 32 bullets....for those who don't know what I am referring to.









My other toy.





And tomorrow I am going to write about the recent shooting of innocent people in Nairobi (you know, in Kenya).

While walking around the playa I came across a phone booth where you could talk to God!
Of course I had to try. I didn't expect to hear a voice on the other end after picking up the receiver. God told me to ask him something. He even knew what I was wearing......! Of course! God sees everything after all. A few seconds of silence and then I said, "Thank You for everything God". Then I choked up because I was overwhelmed with emotion and so happy and grateful that I was having that experience. God thanked me too. I went back two days later to tell God the same thing again. And I really, really meant it.



I do talk about being grateful a lot in my blog. Because that is how I feel. I am grateful for my life, most of the time. I know I have it better than many who struggle daily to find food and shelter. Or live under difficult circumstances. Therefore I am grateful for things like the water coming out with a simple turn of a knob, that I have a vehicle, clothes on my back, that I get to eat every day.....and get to do things that enrich my soul. There are so many things to be grateful for! I think it is important to try to make the world a better place if you have the means to do so. To share the good with others. I do not run around and constantly try to make other people's lives better but I do try to do something meaningful and good once in a while. I am a firm believer in altruism.

I was a bit worried upon arrival at Burning Man that I was going to be bored.
What was I going to fill my days with? Well, when you drive through the entrance you get a book, What Where When .



In it there are tons of things to do listed, it says what, where and when and you pick and choose. There are salsa dancing classes, yoga, button making classes, Thai boxing, tea ceremonies, open mic for radical self expression, classes on sexuality, couples work shops, movies playing, authors speaking, vine tastings, Psilocybin discussions, tarot card readings, healings done by shamans and chakra alignments, comedy improv classes..... there are hundreds of different things listed in the book. It's like being in the most AMAZING school you could ever attend, all that stuff at your fingertips!
I did spend hours at night dancing, because I am a DANCETRONAUT (new word I picked up at Burning Man). The art is endless and biking around taking everything in and snapping pictures is a neverending fun task. But I did go to a Terence McKenna movie screening by Ken Adams. I am fascinated with Terence McKenna, such an interesting person that contributed a lot. He is the author of Food of the Gods . You should read about him! He died way too early. I also went to a discussion held by Daniel Pinchbeck, he wrote a couple of books that I have and love, Breaking Open the Head is one, get it and read it! I also went to a tea ceremony. And other stuff.



So no, I was not bored at all. In fact I can't wait to go back for MORE. I want to immerse myself even more next time. The best and most interesting school I have ever attended! I loved these mushrooms! 🙂

I'm in bed with very tired legs and feet. Did a beautiful hike today up Crescent Lake Trail.
I started out too late in the afternoon, about 3 30 pm so I didn't make it all the way up to the lake. I didn't want to risk having to hike back down in the dark. My estimate is that I was at the most one mile away from the lake when I, well actually WE, of course I didn't hike alone, turned around. At that point my fingers were frozen, gloves would had been great, my shoes and pants were wet and muddy. Round trip is about 13 miles and I was out on that trail for about four hours or so. I might do it again next year because I want to make it to Crescent Lake and the hike itself is gorgeous. It was more about the journey than the destination this time. I didn't see any bears but plenty of bear poop (scat) with berries in it. I also saw some bright read salmon, they had probably reached their natal river and also their destination and were awaiting to die. Animals are amazing, so much determination. Much more admirable than humans, who are busy filling our lives with so much negativity a lot of times.

Chhaya at the trail head ready to go. "Mommy, Mommy let's gooooooo!"



First snow!



I saw white mushrooms, I have never seen such mushrooms before. So pretty. I wonder if they glow in the dark because they were pure white. I don't know what they are called so I renamed them to faerie shrooms.





Done! Tired, cold but happy.



When I got home I was STARVING! Chhaya too. I went up that trail with only a latte for breakfast.....well, I made up for it when I got home and scarfed down pasta, ice cream, cheese sandwiches and I am about to go downstairs and make myself another cup of hot tea with lemon.......

Brrrrr......it is getting colder by the day now. I think that it might be time to put away the flip flops soon, at least for evening use. Although I did spend a few hours tanning on the porch yesterday, it was so nice out. But today.....gray, windy and chilly.
I am still not finished telling you about Burning Man. So as you can gather from the name, something burns. And no, it's not a real person, I have actually been asked that. Burning Man started a years ago.....this is what I gathered from Wikipedia.....

"One of the roots of the annual event now known as Burning Man began as a bonfire ritual on the summer solstice in 1986 when Larry Harvey, Jerry James, and a few friends met on Baker Beach in San Francisco and burned a 9-foot wooden man as well as a smaller wooden dog. Harvey has described his inspiration for burning these effigies as a spontaneous act of "radical self-expression". The event did have earlier roots, though. Sculptor Mary Grauberger, a friend of Harvey's girlfriend Janet Lohr, held solstice bonfire gatherings on Baker Beach for several years prior to 1986, some of which Harvey attended. When Grauberger stopped organizing it, Harvey "picked up the torch and ran with it," so to speak. He and Jerry James built an 8-foot wooden effigy for 1986, which was much smaller and more crudely made than the neon-lit figure featured in the current ritual. In 1987, the effigy grew to almost 15 feet tall, and by 1988, it had grown to around 40 feet. Burning Man attendees informally called it "The Man," and this name was given to each successive effigy, every year since Burning Man began."

So of course I attended the burn of the Man, it was done on a Saturday evening and people gathered around the statue of the Man. Here I am in front of the Man a few days before the burn. It was evening and I have a light inside my shirt, my heart light. 🙂



Right before they lit the Man on fire, he raised his arms and the crowd began to cheer.



And then there was fire and fireworks too.



I saw this man sitting close by. I thought he looked very serene and interesting.



I made some new friends.....and took pictures.....and filled my little glass vial up with playa dust. A memory to keep forever.







The next evening, Sunday.....it was time for the Temple to burn. The Temple, a large wooden pyramid shaped structure with a black rock altar inside. This is the place to go and reflect over loved ones that passed away and life in general. The Temple was full of pictures and poems that people had put there. Many people were overcome with emotion and I cried too when I visited the Temple a few days before it burned down and I shed some tears during the burn too.





THIS makes me SO sad. Time is numbered, at least time as we know it. I don't want anyone that I know and love to die! WHY????!!!





Since I have been back home people have asked me what the best thing is with Burning Man. My answer - EVERYTHING. You have to participate to understand, it is difficult to explain. EVERYTHING. It was probably the best money I have spent, besides when I bought Chhaya.

What an amazing night at work last night! WOW! We had five girls and only one did any dances.....the one that always gets dances no matter what....FUGLY! Yes, she is still here and STILL wearing the same outfit, going on month four now! Although she is telling some people that she has 16 or 20 of THAT SAME style outfit (depending on who is repeating her story). Hmmmm interesting, maybe that is true but then how come all outfits have the same hole and stain on the skirt, AT LEAST buy some needle and thread and sow that hole shut for crying out loud (LOL) and all the 20 bra's are falling apart at the same areas at the seam? It is actually quite hilarious! I think there might be some mental issues going on with FUGLY, because who in their RIGHT mind would wear the same ratty and whitish/gray outfit, as a dancer, for FOUR straight months? And the same shoes. And work every single night? I mean, it is great to be ambitious but there is a difference between being ambitious and obsessed. She also sits around and constantly bites her nails and glares at the other girls from underneath her hair. I don't know what is wrong with men but I guess promises of sex, and sex (according to many, girls and guys alike, I hear she has quite the reputation around here now) trash talking the other girls in the club (Sharon has overheard her talk trash more than once when she used to do bartending), making out during lap dances, getting her private parts examined, her butt cheeks spread wide open, chomping down on the crotch area on guys with her mouth wide open (over the pants), getting her breasts examined by hands and mouths, rubbing guys over the crotch area repeatedly with her hands, ummmmm......did I forget anything? Oh, I also heard under charging for dances and/or giving deals, like it's WalMart! Well all of that equals.....CHA-CHING.....$$$$!!!
OF COURSE I am jealous! OF COURSE! Isn't that the way all girls are? Jealous. That seems to be the easiest road to take when you look to blaming somebody for speaking up. NO. I am not jealous, I have absolutely NO reason to be. I would never wear an outfit for that long.
I actually do care about my appearance. And my lap dances and behavior inside the club would NEVER consist of any of the stuff I just mentioned. That is just pure repulsive. I'd rather be homeless than do shit like that. What FUGLY does outside of the club.....well that is really her business, although most dancers frown upon working with girls that do stuff outside of the club, although it is much better that they take their nasty business somewhere else. There have been a few girls this summer and last that spoke up (BRAVE and I applaud them for standing up for what's right) and said something about this issue, because it is so obvious that there is something very wrong going on. But hey, she is getting away with it and it is up to management in the end, to clean up the club. But it seems like the ugly side of capitalism is rearing it's head here, FUGLY is making the club money, that seems to be more important than anything else.
I can tell you this much. This would NOT fly in many clubs, the not changing the outfit and the nasty stuff. One more thing I should mention. I don't like FUGLY. Because I don't like this kind of BEHAVIOR, I do not know her outside of the club and neither do I care to. Maybe she is a sweetie outside of the club but I kind of doubt it. When I do not like a person, if I have to be around them, I am polite (if I have to) but not engaging. I am not going to say stuff like this about FUGLY and then smile in her face, give her fake compliments and plan on spa days together. Because that is FAKE and I do not want to be fake. There are girls in the club that whisper bad stuff about poor FUGLY but then they pretend to be her friend, that is disgusting too. At least I don't pretend. We work together and I ignore her for the most part.

One of my co workers celebrated her birthday last night. There was yummy cake and balloons. I wanted some pictures with the balloons, not the best quality because my photographer had shaky hands and did not quite know what she was doing.....but better than nothing. The balloons are red and white, the colors of the Polish flag. And I am Miss Poland....as you can see. Long walks on the beach, daily vanilla lattes and many pastries will give you this physique. It's easy.