I really enjoy debating and discussing. Look, I know that people have different opinions and I welcome and appreciate that. Sometimes a new point of view will allow me to grow and develop as a person and that is what I want, I want to better myself. Some opinions and lifestyle's I will never approve of, like hurting animals or people, trashing nature and stuff like that. I don't want people like that around me.
So I discovered a new (to me) blog this evening. And it is GOOD. It is a feminist Swedish woman blogger, I read a few other Swedish feminist blogs already, so this one is a new addition. I read a few of her entries and it inspired me to write this one. About me being a feminist and being called ugly names by men. I have written several entries about being a feminist already, if you want to read them you can type in "feminist" in the search bar in the upper right hand corner and enjoy my thoughts.
What I want to talk about is when random guys I meet at work, that don't even KNOW me, think it is totally OK to say that I am a bitch, angry and/or bitter. I have heard this several times. I think I know why they, in their semi or very intoxicated state backed by a pea sized brain, say stuff like this.....more on that in a bit.
Actually, I am a rather happy and positive person. I wake up and go to sleep feeling happy and content with my life the majority of the time. Sure life can be hard and I get sad sometimes and I am not afraid to talk about that or share it. I do think, at times, that life is a series of hardships with happy events and experiences thrown in to make it easier and more livable,
I think that is a realistic approach to life. If you are not numbing yourself to cope. I go through my life sober. But I often feel extremely grateful and happy over the life I have. If I have an issue with certain people in my life, it is with THAT individual and the issues that comes with THAT person. Currently I am having a rather negative and on-going experience with a person in my life since a while now but I try not to let issues I have with one person transpire into how I relate to others and I still feel full of joy, despite that person. I had the best day today for example and I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, got my latte, came home and spent my afternoon outside doing yard work for hours, took Chhaya for a long walk, ate a huge and delicious meal (salad), played with Chhaya, watched some tv - normal stuff you know but I was SOOOO happy! I do love my life right now.
So when some idiot that I encounter at work calls me bitter/angry/bitch they really do not know what the fuck they are talking about. And I do not appreciate comments like that either. If anything I will either become even more "bitchy" (be careful boy!) or walk away and not pay any more attention to that idiot and that is usually too is difficult for them to understand. Listen honey, INTEGRITY is priceless for me, I can always make money at work, a bad night here and there is not going to ruin me. I'd rather have a bad night but feel good about myself than put myself through torture and pretend to appreciate some of the crap that comes out of certain people's mouths.
So now to my theory why I sometime (I want to stress sometime, because it's not all the time but the sometimes add up) hear these "compliments". Well, I think that men (many men) have a preconceived and wrongful idea of how women should act around them and towards them. And I do not fit into that idea. Look wise I might but certainly not (for some men) in the way I act. And especially not how they think a girl that works as a dancer (stripper) should act. I do not fawn over them, I do not flirt or give fake compliments, I don't care if they like me or not,
I do not act dumb or like a bimbo. I am outspoken, well spoken, confident and stand up for myself and my co workers if I happen to see any guy in there acting like an ass towards any of them. I AM MYSELF and that seems to be very difficult for a certain kind of man to deal with, therefore they resort to what they know best. Name calling and trying to dominate. So the women that stand up for themselves automatically become ANGRY, or BITTER or better yet BITCHES. LOL! Puhleeeze, come up with something BETTER, something of SUBSTANCE.
Use your intelligence, dig around for it! Let's discuss and debate and see what you have to come with! I am never going to dumb myself down or take less room than a man, at work or outside of work. Yes, you CAN be a feminist and a dancer, although I am aware of that it rather doesn't go hand in hand. But if any feminist is reading this and is feeling distraught by my profession, trust me.....I am doing my best and I am OK. I promise!
As far as my looks go (or lack thereof, he he).....I do not think that I cater to men. I've been pretty much looking the same for years. Even before I started dancing. I like having my hair long, because I like it, not because some men might like it. I do enjoy make up, pink nail polish and girly stuff, I do. But I do not feel the need to put on make up every day. Or wear revealing eye candy outfits. But hey, I am not going to wear a burqa either. I don't have any altered body parts to please men. I am not saying that women with fake boobs can't be feminists.....but you kind of have to wonder why they decided to get that boob job in the first place, unless it's some form of reconstructive surgery. And even then I am sure some of the most dedicated feminists would protest. I know one girl that got a boob job simply because she figured it would increase her earning potential at work (dancing) and it did and she is not dancing anymore, bigger and better things are awaiting her. And she actually had a reduction done to her boobs after she quit dancing.
Basically, if you can't deal with a strong and confident woman, then walk away and leave her alone. She doesn't need or want you and your shit anyways. So yeah.....that is all I had to say this late Monday evening.
Annette on :
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