Welcome to Chaos !!

I picked up my new books that arrived yesterday afternoon. I had a really busy day yesterday, it is 5 am here and I just washed the eye shadow off my eyes put on some face cream and made myself comfortable in bed. I got these two by the Swedish author Camilla Läckberg, looking forward to a great time reading them.



And I finally ordered and got the Kate Moss Book !



A large, heavy book filled with photographs of my fave model Kate. This book comes in eight different covers and I didn't know which one I was going to get since I couldn't pick the cover when I ordered the book (Amazon). I was happy when I saw this cover, it reminds me of a pic of Kate that I tried to re create once (see my pic below). And it ended up being one of my favorites of myself. Although not looking anything like Kate's pic.
I actually have a few things in common with Kate. We are both Capricorns. We both have brown hair and pale skin. She has lots of moles, so do I. We were born in the same decade (70's). And she is not shy either when it comes to nudity and taking pics where there is some uncovered skin showing. I love Kate. ❤



And me. Photographer WOLF189.

So it is Friday today. What have I done so far.......first a latte of course. I want to get an espresso machine so I can make my own lattes but then I would probably drink five a day. So maybe not a good idea to get an espresso machine after all.
Me and Chhaya went to Arc lake today. I was hoping to see some water but the snow and ice are still here and thick. The winter in Alaska sticks around for half of the year.



Then I went to the gym for the first time this week.



Now I am digesting my dinner like a full anaconda. It is work time tonight.

Instead of going to work this evening I went for a run, first outside run of the year! Earlier today when walking Chhaya I saw that the snow had melted away from the roads around my house. The run this evening felt soooo good, only 19 minutes but I needed that cool fresh air. I felt alive. Maybe I'll do it again tomorrow. And it's staying light out until about 10 pm now, I love that. Pretty view.



Puddle in the yard, there is going to be a small lake outside my house when all the snow melts.



I decided that I need two new sports bra's and at least one pair of new running/gym shoes. Maybe a cute pair by Stella McCartney for Adidas? I know that I won't find anything I like around here. I have to wait until I am somewhere else.



Anyhow, I am in bed drinking tea and eating super yummy coconut cookies. Sleep in an hour or so. First I need to read.

I gave Chhaya a bath today. It is not her favorite activity to suffer through. She know very well what "take a bath" means or "brush the teeth" and "clean the earsis" (ears). Now she is clean and happy to be out of the tub. I am sitting here, stuffed myself with pancakes and contemplating whether I should make an appearance at work tonight or not......I feel laaaazyyyyy and fat! 🙂

The sun is shining, it is warming up and the snow and ice are slowly melting away. Slowly is the word. The whole yard is still covered in a thick layer of hard snow. I went to the beach yesterday and the large ice formations were melting and the water was lazily making it's way down to the ocean.
What did I do exactly one year ago? I can look in my archives. Ok......I had a bad rash on my butt from work. The stage obviously needed a good cleaning. I had a hectic day of running around and sending out my taxes (due date was April 17 last year) and I was in need of a massage. And I put up a kissing picture with Chhaya.
I still need a massage. I always need a massage. I don't have a butt rash today. I did take some kissing pictures with Chhaya today. I do feel stressed out and worried due to some unsettling news I received from Sweden the other day. I didn't sleep well last night and I have a lot on my mind. I feel a nervous kind of energy in my body. And that is my April 17th so far for me.

Look at the thick layer of snow.


I love her.

What I wanted to talk about today is being friends with girls at work and outside of work. A lot of times I like the person, who they are but outside of work. Because at work they can sometimes act in ways that are totally inappropriate. I am talking about doing dirty dances for example and breaking the rules. That does affect MY work environment and my income as well. And many of the girls I work with are only looking at the situation from their perspective, how much money they have at the end of the night. Even if that means doing stuff that we are not supposed to do. It makes it difficult to be friends with a a girl that acts like that at work outside of work.
Because she messes up work for me and for the rest of the girls with her behavior.
This is where management SHOULD step in and put an end to it. But in many clubs management looks the other way, it has to do with money. Most of the time, the more money the girl is making the more money the club is making. For example, getting a cut of the dances made. There are always rules, not always followed though and that makes it very annoying and frustrating. I can think that the girl is a total sweetheart outside of work, feel like we have a friendship going but that does not take away the fact that she behaves really bad at work. After a while that will impose on the friendship. At least it will for me. I can't overlook stuff like that. Especially if she is also talking bad about other girls and what they are doing but does pretty much the same thing herself, even worse at times. It would be as if I would sit here and preach about the importance to stick to the rules at work, so it is fair for everybody but then sneak in a few handjobs and blowjobs if I got offered enough money. That would make me a hypocrite, I try not to be one.
Last Friday some guy offered me a few hundred more if I was going to let him touch and lick me under my panties. I said no. No means no with me. Every time. I don't care about the money, I care about me. I made a promise to myself shortly after I started this occupation to not do things that I am not comfortable with. And I don't. Also I have to look at the bigger picture and think about how this will affect me and my co workers in the future. And how that would affect me emotionally. I would not feel good about myself if I had random guys touching me intimately like that. Or if I would touch guys in that way. Some girls are ok with it. If I was ok with that I would perhaps consider working in a brothel or as a very high priced escort. And by the way, a strip club should never ever be about taking it that far. Therefore I prefer to work in clubs where touching is either limited or not allowed at all and that being strictly adhered to.
Then you do not have to deal with girls that act like that and guys who think they can do whatever.