Welcome to Chaos !!

I am feeling so bored and unmotivated.......I don't know why. Well, I DO know why.
I live in the most boring place ever. There is nothing going on here and my days look the same, everyday is the same. I can't wait to move. Maybe soon.
Yes, I might......MIGHT be leaving Alaska in the not so distant future.
So today when I pulled up to Coffee Roasters (my excitement for this afternoon, yippie!) I noticed a little lost girl dog. All alone, scurrying around and looking nervous. She had a collar. I got out of the car and tried to get her to come over to me but she got scared and took off running across the parking lot and towards the busy road. I felt so bad and scared that she would get hit by a car. I hope somebody will be able to pick her up and return her to her owner.
I saw a cat get hit by two cars a long time ago. It was awful, that poor thing tumbled across the road and I can still remember his face. It makes my stomach ache when I think back to that and I want to cry.
I know that some people around here let their dogs run loose but I would think twice about doing that. Some people shoot stray dogs that go in on their property, it's crazy but they do. Each year there is a discussion around here about people that shoot other people's dogs.
I am lucky with Chhaya, I can let her outside and she will stay close to the house.
Either lay right outside on the porch or in the grass. Or go sniff close by in the forest. She always comes right away when I call her. If I had an issue with her running away I would not risk it and keep her supervised at all times or on a long leash. If I would lose her it would be entirely my fault and I would be devastated.
One more thing about dogs. I have spoken to a few people in the last couple of weeks that got rid of their dog (euthanized) because the dog bit somebody else in a situation that could had been prevented. When I was a little, around three years old we had a dog and a cat in the household. The dog bit me and the cat scratched me. I pulled on the cats tail while it tried to get away from me under the bed. I was probably pestering it and naturally the poor cat turned around and scratched me. The dog bit me because I climbed on top of him and bounced up and down on his back. He growled, the baby sitter didn't react in time and the dog bit me on my ear. I remember a lot of blood and laying in bed when my Mom came home. Did my Mom get rid of her pets? Of course not. They were not viscous. They reacted in a normal way. My Mom had told me many times not to bother the cat or the dog but when you are a toddler you are a toddler. Therefore when you have small children around animals you should always pay extra attention to make sure to avoid situations like these. The bite from the dog healed and I learned my lesson and the scratch from the cat healed too. I would never let a small child be around Chhaya's food bowl when she eats. That is a given. You can have the friendliest dog but when there is food involved they react in a way that is natural for them. The pack mentality and hierarchy. I can stick my fingers in Chhaya's bowl and take it away from her if I want to, she lets me. I don't bother her like that on purpose, I leave her alone when she eats but I have been feeding her all her life and she feels secure with me and her food. I can put food in my mouth and she will gently take it.
But I would not let a child stick their fingers in her bowl, even come close to Chhaya when she eats, chances are she would bite and I would never get rid of Chhaya if that happened. Ever. A situation like that can happen in an instant but it can also be prevented. How sad to put down a beloved dog because you did something stupid that could had been prevented. It's not the dogs fault. In general small children should always be supervised with animals.
One more thing that popped up in my inbox today. Police shooting dogs. I have seen that a lot and it really bothers me. They seem to be way too trigger happy when it comes to shooting dogs. For no reason than some excessive barking in some instances. I don't want trigger happy cops out there. Cops are just as unbalanced and psychotic as the rest of the crazies out in society. It doesn't make me feel safe when I know that they have no qualms about shooting an innocent animal. What if this happened to your beloved dog? You should sign this petition. SIGN

I don't have much exciting to report today. I am tired because I woke up early.
Decided on staying in tonight instead of working. So I am going to spend the evening with taking a long bath, changing to this light pink nail polish on my toes and applying mud on my face. Those little packages contain mud face mask from the Alaska Glacial Mud Co.
Oh.....I should probably explain here that I was just JOKING about spraying Lysol on the guys before I dance for them. And honking that Barbie horn if I don't get enough money. But I should bring out that Lysol bottle tomorrow night and pretend to spray somebody down just to see how they react. I love joking around. I need to entertain myself somehow. My latest idea is to make a tampon fund for all of us at work and start a collection. I am going to find a large glass jar or plastic container. Write tampon fund on it and attach some (unused) tampons around the rim of the jar and put it out on the bar. I love to do things and say things at work that is not expected. Just to see people's reaction.

So are you curious to see what I have in my lockers at work? I suspect I have some readers (out of the 1100 - 1200 plus daily) that read my blog because my life and what I do is different from theirs and that makes some curios. I don't sit in a cubicle or by a desk, wearing the typical office attire. When I arrive at work I start with touching up my make up. That involves maybe applying a little more eye shadow and a black thin line of eye shadow on the bottom of my fake lashes to blend them in, a coat of mascara and maybe some lipstick and gloss for the evening. Lately I have been wearing a rose scented lip balm from DIOR. Back in the day I used to put on foundation and loose powder, I stopped with that a long time ago. I like my skin better natural and the foundation application took way too long. I never use blush or any kind of contouring techniques. Sometimes I apply a shimmery highlighter on my cheekbones. Then I change into whatever I choose to wear for the evening. I might add some bracelets, a necklace, earrings or my belly chain. A few spritzes of VIVA La Juicy or some lotion.
And I am done.
So I start with picking out a bra and panty. Here are all my bra's. They come from either Victoria's Secret (8), Fredrick's Of Hollywood (3) or Betsey Johnson (3).





Sometimes I choose a triangle top bra. I got those at various stores in Vegas that sell dancer attire. Like Strings By Judith.



Here are my panties. I only wear Honey Dew's at work, low rise boy short cut. I have duplicates of a few and I didn't bother including the duplicates in the pics. I am always on the lookout for a new cute bra and a new color/style of Honey Dew's. I can't have enough. Right now I only have 24 pairs to choose from.





I keep the stuff I wear at work separate from my panties and bras I wear outside of work. I prefer sports bras when I am not at work and Hanky Panky thongs.
Then I pick a shoe. I rotate between three pairs. The height? 7 inches. So yes, I appear to be very tall but I am 5'9 without heels.



I also have some boots. I have not yet used them at work but I have put them to use in some photo shoots. If you want to see some of the pics write the word boots in my search engine.



I have a large collection of earrings, necklaces, rings and bracelets. Too many to line up and photograph. I keep all of the shiny stuff like this.



Sometimes I wear leg warmers. I have a black pair and a light pink pair. I bought them in a store that outfits ballerinas. They are really long but I scrunch them so they reach a few inches over my knee. All of this I keep separated and organized in bins in my two lockers and all the shoes and my regular clothes (that I put in a bag) I keep in a third locker. I also have some small sweaters/cardigans (five I think) that I keep folded up in a box in the third locker but I rarely wear them so I didn't bother taking a pic of them either.



You can see some things hanging in the upper corner in one of the lockers, those are garters. We have to wear a garter on the main stage, it's some kind of a law.
Then I have all the small towels that I sit on. I never sit down on a chair with my barely covered behind without a towel. I don't want any germs. Also baby wipes. I clean my shoes with them and all kinds of other things....... A bottle of rubbing alcohol in case I do feel like I need to wipe myself clean, after being on a dirty stage for example.
Some Lysol. I spray down the guys with Lysol before I dance for them, like I said.......
I don't want any germs. They never object to being sprayed down, they are too busy admiring my fake eye lashes and all my other attributes.



And then of course my perfume, lotion, deodorant, gum. And a Barbie horn. If people don't throw enough money at me I pull that out and honk it in their ear until they fork up at least an additional $ 50. I am a tyrant. And I always get my way.



That is my inventory at work..........Now you know!

This is so typical. I am at work and there is one guy here. One! This is how it was last Monday too, so slow that I didn't even bother changing into what I wear at work.
And the nights when I choose to stay home always turn out to be the good nights, like last night for example I heard. It's always like that. You have to work every night to not miss out on the good nights or to even out the good nights with the bad. I only work every night when I go out of town to work. That is my only mission then, to work.
When I am in town I don't have the willingness to work every night. Staying at home......and I have a nice home by the way, with Chhaya and a book or a movie is just as necessary as working. So I am at work, sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, listening to music and waiting to go home. I am so not in the mood for this right now.
If nobody shows up and it is slow I get bored and absolutely not in the mood to be entertaining and chatty if somebody does decide to show up right before closing.
Then I just want to go home. I bet that if I don't show up here tomorrow I will hear later that it was a good night. Sigh........ I am hungry, cranky and wish I was at home. Bleh.

I have to tell you about some random chick that tried to kiss me at work the other night. I was siting at the bar talking to a friend, there were two girls sitting to my left, one which I know a little and one that I have never seen before. All of a sudden I feel somebody reach around me, like around my face and I turned around and this girl sitting to my left that I have never seen before grabs me behind my neck and moves in on me and tries to kiss me. All I see is her half open mouth inches away from mine coming closer. WTF?! I pushed her away and asked her what she was doing. Like get away from me! Yuck! I don't even know you! She was just some random chick in there. Drunk. Decided that she wanted to make out or something. Maybe kiss a girl and look cool in front of her friends. I don't know. Well, NOT with me. I take kissing seriously and I don't have any random hook ups or make out sessions with people, even though I am a stripper a few nights a week. I know........can you believe that??! Being a stripper doesn't mean that I make out with everything that is willing to make out with me.
It's funny that regular people (girls) sometimes have so much bad to say about girls like me (that strip) but they do things that I don't do. Get wasted, make out and sleep around with no meaning behind it. Good for you if that is what you want to do. But I tend to be more selective about my partners. Have I ever been drunk? Yes of course. Made out with almost strangers? Sure. But not many times.
And speaking of kissing....... My first real kiss (with tongue) was in fifth or sixth grade.
I can't remember if I was 11 or 12. But his name was Rickard and he had black hair, blue eyes and freckles. We were classmates. He had a boxer. And we were at his house, in his room and it was awkward (too much saliva) but exciting. Yeah, no kissing strangers for me.

It's almost 5 pm, a snowy and gray Sunday afternoon and I am in bed. I woke up at 2, went to the store for some food and a latte at Coffee Roasters. Came home, immediately went straight back to bed with my food and read The Ice Princess for about two hours. I have to get up soon, do the dishes and sweep downstairs, it is muddy paws season here. Even when I dry Chhaya's paws off after being outside, there is still a lot of dirt on them and I have to sweep and vacuum if not every day at least every other day.

So if you have been reading my blog for a while you might recall that I wrote about a married couple that came into the club a few months ago, picked up a guy in there and left with him. You can read that entry here
Anyhow, they came in again last night. They seem a little desperate, I don't bother talking to them because honestly although they seem nice and warm I just don't have the energy. Because of that desperate vibe I get. It is obvious that they are looking for somebody.....actually anyone that is willing to go home with them, man or woman.
We now make inside jokes about them at work. Like, who wants to have a threesome tonight? I think it is great that they seem to have a happy marriage and that they are open with each other. I am all for that. Much better than lying and cheating. But I don't want to deal with them. The last couple I danced for was at New York Dolls in New York and as many of the other times when dancing for couples the woman was acting way too aggressive = too creepy for me . The one in New York conveniently forgot to wear her panties that evening, I found that out when she spread her legs open in front of me and showed me all her lady bits. Ummmmmm.........no thanks, I am so not interested.
Then she tried to pull me down onto her crotch, she grabbed me around my hips while I leaned as far away from her as I could. This kind of encounter has not been my first at work. Couple, woman not wearing panties, wants lap dance, acts a little too crazy, her partner grinning like a fool. Yeah. But hey, they don't know who they might encounter on a night out. Anything is possible.
Then we had another interesting couple drama take place last night. Some other couple was in earlier in the evening. Too bad that they were not there at the same time as the regular swingers, I would had tried to connect them. Talk about a great match! Well this couple, not sure if married or together but I suspect at least together for a while.
SHE seemed to be interested in getting a job at the club, was even in the office talking to the owner. Nobody is in the office unless you have some business there. Like a new hire going over the rules and the hiring process. Then she came out and sat by her obviously uncomfortable male partner and it looked like she tried to convince him that she too should be dancing. By the look of things, she should not be dancing. I think that she was a little too old to be starting dancing and a little too house wifey looking.
Plus her man was not happy about this, that was so obvious. She really put all her effort into coaxing him to smile and relax a bit, he was very uncomfortable. It was kind of fun to observe. I love people watching. And observe in general.
The swinger couple were the last to leave yesterday. They stayed until the end, after the music had stopped, trying to pick up a girl to go home with them. The result? No luck. We don't even want to dance for them. I think that they would be much more successful finding somebody willing to join them at a place geared towards what they are looking for. A swingers gathering place. Not a strip club. But like I said, you never know what you might encounter on your night out.