Welcome to Chaos !!

I just finished watching a movie called The Family Stone .......it's almost two in the morning here. Now I can FINALLY return it to Sharon that lent it to me, I promised her that I would watch it since it is her favorite movie. The characters in it were actually crazier than me and I felt totally CRAZY earlier this evening. Let's rewind.......
I went to Coffee Roasters yesterday afternoon, had plans to go to the gym afterwards but felt lazy and weird so I changed my mind........then I changed my mind again and did indeed go to the gym because I knew that I would only feel good from going, which I did. Came home, started feeling slightly insane. Thought of going to work, good that I didn't, started feeling borderline homicidal later on. Didn't want to stab somebody in the forehead with my heel for looking at me for too long, so I stayed home. Laid in bed, had a weird feeling in my stomach, started crying for no real reason besides that I felt like I had the worst bout of PMS ever. If you are a guy then you can't relate, it's unexplainable, anything can make you cry, everything sucks and feels like BLEH. So I cried for a good 15 minutes, loud, sobbing. Then I ate (some more). Yoghurt with granola and pickles. No, I am not pregnant. Although I feel fat and ugly. LOL. I told you, I felt CRAZY! Then I decided to finally watch that damned movie because I promised Sharon that I would. So at least I got that done. Now I can give Sharon her movie back. Mission accomplished.
A few years ago I started taking birth control pills after a long break. After about a week on them I started feeling really emotional and unstable, like I did earlier this evening but kind of a constant feeling. It was awful! I knew it was the pills so I stopped taking them and felt like myself again right away, now I do have an occasional PMS moment but it passes. I took birth control pills on and off a few times. One day I came across and read a book about the dangers of taking hormones, because that is what birth control pills are, hormones. After reading that book I regretted that I ever took birth control pills. If I had a daughter I would advise her to never take birth control pills or any other form of birth control that releases hormones into your body (for example NuvaRing or contraceptive patch) or at least wait until about 22 or so. Absolutely not as a teenager when you are still growing and developing. Who knows what damage girls do to their physical and mental health by eating birth control pills?
Well........now my crazy ass is going to take a bath. I feel better, slightly.

After going to Coffee Roasters I had plans of going to the gym........but I decided not to........or I can't decide, maybe I'll go anyways. I am feeling unmotivated and lazy this afternoon. Instead I might go home, do laundry and make my house look nice.
Open up the front door and some windows and let the air in. Maybe gym tomorrow.
Or today? Indecisive. Maybe work tonight? Not every day can be productive, at least not for me. And that's basically all I have to say for today........this is an old pic of me and my Kaladi cup.




Photographer Mick Cukurs

Got some stuff done today - finally. My taxes. I got it all figured out, calculated and sent off, all my papers organized and filed. I keep everything in different folders. I got this years Permanent Fund Dividend filled out and sent off. Feels good, I can't relax if I have stuff looming because I keep thinking about it. While out today I ran into our waitress at the club, Teresa. She works when it's busy, so not right now since we are slow.
Teresa is so much fun. I didn't like her when I first started but then I changed my opinion about that and now I really like her, she is great.
Chhaya is eagerly awaiting her dinner. I am boiling some carrots for her, she is also getting brown rice and a can of dog food, beef this evening.
I think I am staying in tonight. Relaxing and reading. I might do a honey face mask and a moisturizing coconut oil treatment for my hair. Oh.......and I have to brush Chhaya's teeth.

I am about to try some new skin products for the first time. I have been using L'Occitane for a while but now I am going to switch things up a little and try some stuff from Santa Maria Novella. Here I have the Lipid Cream and the Papaya Gel both from the Skin Restoring Line. I love the Santa Maria Novella stores, it smells heavenly in them and everything looks and feels very luxurious. Excited over the new products!

Bound feet. Chinese foot binding, outlawed since a while.

Ballerina.

Dancer. Me.

Sources blogspot, tumblr, marie claire and myseveralworlds.com

I had a great Sunday. I'm in bed, belly full of food, feeling kind of tired. Last night I told Sharon (the bartender at work) that I would most likely work tonight but I fell asleep around 7 pm and when I woke up an hour later it was dark outside and my bed is warm and comfy so I am staying in.
So every day when you read or hear the news you find out about bad stuff. There are some nasty people out there. More rapes in India, the latest three young girls, sisters raped and murdered. More priests raping boys. Some man in Ohio played the part of the loving and concerned adult, taking in three boys as foster children and ended up raping all three. Even let a few friends in on the "fun". He was in the process of adopting a few more kids. Just lovely. When I read that I got really upset. I get very emotional when I read about innocent children and animals that get hurt. To me, there is only one good solution. One bullet in the head. Sounds harsh? Perhaps. But I don't want trash like that taking up space and sharing the air I breathe with me. I have no excuses for filth like that. Taking in children, pretending to be caring and concerned only so you can torture them and destroy their soul? Abusing animals. Raping women. Just take the perpetrator out with a bullet. Why spend money on keeping them alive in some prison? They are no good for society anymore.
When I raise my hand my dog does not cower, she is expecting me to pet her or throw her toy somewhere so she can play. How an adult can beat an animal is incomprehensible. Only a twisted coward does that. Only a seriously sick individual rapes children and women. AND what about the women that gave up their children, got them taken away due to being unfit parents. How about you THINK before you decide to become pregnant and give birth to a child that you obviously were not prepared to provide for in any way. Having kids should NOT be any idiots right, it should be a privilege. Some people truly disgust me.