Welcome to Chaos !!

Well.......I did go to work and it was a very pathetic Monday night in there, for me at least. But oh well, I made enough to fill up my car and I guess that is better than nothing. There is always another night tomorrow.
And I do not give dance discounts or offer any other kinds of favors out of desparation to make some kind of quota for the night. I'd rather go home with gas money only. Or even nothing. Some girls set a personal goal each night (a quota) and to reach it, some do WHATEVER it takes.
I think that is crazy. The reason I bring this up is because there is something fishy going on with a certain girl at work, she gets the most dances EVERY night and even on slow nights she does well.
I have done this long enough to know that you can't have a great night every night, the most dances every night, unless you are absolutely gorgeous and even then you will have slow nights. I have seen very pretty girls have some bad nights because that is just how it is sometimes. When something like this is happening, like this girl racking up the dances EVERY night, then there is something else going on. It's not like she is super fun, bubbly and sweet either. So I suspect heavily discounted dances and maybe some other stuff too. I've heard some rumors but don't know anything for sure. Because the girl in question is average looking. Ok body, BAD face. I would have to put a pillow on her face if I was a guy laying on top of her, or put her face down - it's that bad. And please do not think that I am jealous, I am not that kind. I am not jealous of the money, if I was I could offer discount dances and whatever else just to compete with her.
And jealous of the way she looks? Ich don't think so honey, that should be obvious. I would never be jealous of an average chick with a butter face, I do not need to be. I am just stating the facts of what's going on.
Besides, I like working with beautiful girls if they make their money in an honest way, the more beautiful the better.
Anyways, I am going to go to sleep now.

Went to the beach here in Kenai yesterday. Sat with my toes in the warm sand and enjoyed myself. There is a chilly wind that seems to always be present at that beach, maybe not so strange since it's Alaska after all and in the horizon you can see mountains (the Chigmit Mountains, a subrange of the Aleutians) a good view of a few volcanoes, like Redoubt that is still active, last eruption was in 2009. Kind of scary, if you think about it, to live that close to an active volcano.







Found some trash at the beach that I could not resist picking up.
Tatiana - stripper at night. Trash picker during the day.



It's Monday today and I am going to see if I can get back to the grind tonight (work) and maybe go running a few times this week too.

It's dark out - this night between Sunday and Monday. I am up reading blogs and I am going to start going through the first five pages or so of pictures from that shoot I did last Tuesday.
I stayed home all weekend, I could not bring myself to go to work, not sure why. I am just not in the mood. Maybe it's the sunny weather, I have been living in my shorts and my pink bikini all week. I wanted to enjoy my life, outside by a lake or the ocean or a fire with my dog instead of working.
But I am going to TRY and go back - soon. And I know that a lot of people think the blog is more interesting when I write about work.............
Anyways, here are some pics from last night. And it was a beautiful evening!

I went to Centennial Lake yesterday, a very pretty lake not too far from where I live.
Another sunny day here in Alaska!
Once I was there I noticed all the trash that people had left behind. If there is one thing that is annoys me, it is littering.
A lot of Americans seem very patriotic to me. Many Americans think that the US is the best country on earth but at the same time, the patriotic side seems to end at that - loud words.
If you think that America is so beautiful, as a well known American patriotic song says........then maybe it should be in your best interest to keep America beautiful and stop leaving your nasty trash in nature where it doesn't belong? To leave trash out, symbolizes to me a very rude and disrespectful person, consumed by their own huge ego and total disregard for others - funny, because a lot of non Americans actually view Americans just like so. It's also kind of ironic in some ways that I, born in another country do not have any problem picking up other people's (Americans) trash by free will, not some court ordered community service BS. I'd rather spend 30 minutes picking up empty and broken beer bottles than know that an innocent animal might get hurt or trapped.
I found lots of empty beer bottles and cans, mainly Budweiser and Coors. Cigarette packs, Marlboro seems popular. Cigarette butts, I really don't care that a lot of people think it's OK to just throw them outside - NO, it is not - they are TOXIC and yucky, OK? A totally disgusting period pad, fucking gross! And yes, I picked that up too. Some flip flops, one shoe, a shirt, plastic bags, fishing line - you name it. People are disgusting - really.
On top of that, some chick went out in the lake, next to me, with a bottle of shaving cream and a razor and started shaving her armpits. I asked her if she was going to shave her legs too.
She said she was done. Really? You shave your armpits in the lake now? I'm just going to shave my VAGINE next time I visit a lake, lather it up nice and good with some shaving cream first. Maybe change my tampon too and leave the old one out. Why not? It's America the beautiful people, home of the free! Where you can do what you want because you are FREE!
The problem is that nobody says anything, because people are scared of confrontation.
Well, I am not. If I see some dumbass littering I say something.
If they have a problem with that - oh well. Bring it on bitch!
Seriously, if I have readers that think it is OK to just throw garbage in nature - guess what?
You are DISGUSTING! Clean up your filth, nobody wants to see it or walk through it. If you want to live like that, then trash YOUR house.
It's the same at work, when idiots come in and throw their feet up on the stage when I am up.
I don't want to see that shit. You can maybe do that to your "lady" at home, if you are lucky enough to have one. But I am not going on stage when some fat fuck or skinny, for that matter, has his feet up on my stage. If you don't like it, you can leave. I don't need your dollar bill anyways.
And perhaps there have been a few trashy non Americans around Centennial Lake too, to be fair. But I think I can safely say that majority of the people that go there are Americans. I learned early on not to trash nature, that should be crystal clear to everyone regardless of nationality. Obviously not for many people, how sad.
I would never date a guy if he acted nasty like that.





There is A LOT more trash around Centennial Lake than what I gathered in these two bags and the beer box. In case you want to go and volunteer your time too.

A while ago I read an article in Vanity Fair called Nordic Exposure . Written by somebody named A.A Gill. The author is saying that "we" meaning the world or I suspect more like the US is having a "Scandinavian moment" and elaborates on that topic.
I still have that magazine laying around and before I get rid of it, I want to comment a little on that article. You know, I think I have something of substance to add since I grew up in Sweden.
I always thought (got taught this in school) that Scandinavia is made up of five countries - Sweden, Norway, Finland, Denmark and Iceland. But depending on who you ask and where you look for information, you might get a different answer.
First of all, not everybody walking around in Sweden is blonde, blue eyed and tall. There are many people in Sweden from different countries. But many of the "real" Swedes are indeed blonde, a real blonde, not dyed. I am not considered a blonde in Sweden, though many refer to me as blonde here in the US, in Sweden I would be a brunette to simplify things. Though I would probably say golden brown or honey colored.
I personally LOVE ABBA and Ikea and many other things and traditions that I grew up with.
I know pretty much every ABBA song and when I was little I would sing along to them in the mirror, pretending to be Agnetha.
Yes, you do pay taxes in Sweden, rather high too - around 30 % but it's of course more complicated than that when you break it down. You also get taxed on every item you buy in the store, it's called "moms" and that tax is rather high too. Visiting a restaurant, buying alcohol and cigarettes is also rather costly due to the "moms". Many Swedes make a trip on some ferries that run between Sweden and Finland to buy cartons of cigarettes and bottles of booze, no taxes on the ferry - therefore hefty savings.
But there are also lots of perks when you live in Sweden, such as four consecutive weeks of vacation between June and August and sporadic vacation days throughout the rest of the year. When you have a baby you are allowed to stay at home with the child for well over a year and they also want the father to take part in that time. The parental leave is paid for by the state and your employer if you were employed somewhere prior to getting pregnant. When I lived in Sweden I never worried about paying for school, even university studies and any doctors visits.
I think that's great and basic human rights, I never questioned it - that is just what I was used to.
I never took advantage of the system either. I don't have any kids and I am not on welfare, here in the US or when I lived in Sweden. Some people make a career of popping out kids that they can't provide for - milking the system of everything they can get. I do not agree with that whatsoever.
I also think that Sweden has a too generous immigration policy. That is my personal opinion after seeing what has happened in the country the last couple of decades of allowing way too many people in that do not embrace Sweden, don't want to at least somewhat integrate and basically abuse the country. There has been cases of honor killings in Sweden due to "religious" reasons and that is NOT the Swedish way of life.
It is very common that men and women co habit in Sweden without any plans of a marriage.
I never grew up dreaming of a large wedding and a diamond ring, not that much emphasis is put on that there. I would rather spend money on a long, exciting trip somewhere than a diamond ring. You are protected by co habit laws in Sweden that take effect if you seperate. People look at co habit partners as married anyways, a ring on your finger is just that. A ring. It is a symbol and does not mean anything when it comes to your personal moral compass.
Yes, the views on nudity are more relaxed than in the US. It is common to see topless women of all ages on the beaches and nobody raises an eyebrow. We also enjoy saunas, naked men and women AND children together. Nobody is even thinking about pedophilia. It is nothing sexual about it, because to me and many people in Sweden - nudity and sex are two separate things. That's why I am so relaxed about nudity. Although I know better than to just drop my clothes anywhere. DUH!
But I hear that Germany is even more lax about nudity than Scandinavia. Don't know if that's true or not. If so, good for them!
The standard of living is high and comfortable. Especially in Norway, lucky people in Norway, it's a very rich, beautiful country with not many inhabitants, only about five million. A great place to live.
The one thing about Sweden is that you are supposed to be "lagom". That would be, not too much and not too little. Just right. There is an archetypical Swedish proverb
"Lagom är bäst" - meaning "The right amount is best". That is the standard and generally viewed the best way to be in society, though unspoken of.
Of course there are plenty of people that don't fall into that category either. Sometimes lagom is good and sometimes it's also good to go your own way. A mix of both.
Many people outside of Scandinavia seem to think that suicide is rampant there and that people are depressed and unhappy. I think that fake happiness is more common here in the US, people pretend to be a certain way in public while they are on one or more prescribed medications daily to help them deal with themselves and reality. I keep in touch with my friends and family in Sweden, not many use and abuse drugs, prescribed or not.
I did not come to the US to escape any hardships in Sweden. I had everything there, every comfort that I have here and many more friends btw.
I came to the US kind of on a whim, it was a fairly quick decision and I did have a job lined up in California, NO not dancing (stripping). That happened later. After some years here and an acquired mortgage (the brick around my neck) and my beautiful friend Chhaya I am kind of "stuck" here. I am not complaining though!

Yesterday was one of those absolutely beautiful and perfect Alaskan summer days. When it's like that you have to savor every moment. Because those days can be few and far in between here. I started out my day by getting an iced vanilla latte.



Then I picked up Lexi, she lives in Kenai too and we drove to Captain Cook State Park.
I was there the other day for my photo shoot.
We went to Stormy Lake first. The sun was shining and we tanned, then we put on our hip waders and went out in the water. The water here is cold, at least to me it is.
Stormy Lake is really pretty and shallow, so you can walk around in it.








After a few relaxing hours full of talk we went to another area in the park. Bishop Creek. The walk on the trail down to the beach smelled like an herb garden, really refreshing.
I love being outdoors on a nice day. But then again, who doesn't?





Behind me are the mountains, you can't really tell in the pic but the scenery is beautiful.



Throughout the day I had a sinking feeling that we're already a good bit into August, summer is almost over and I don't want it to be! It feels awful.
Made me feel very sad.



Well, it's Friday today. I am going to Coffee Roasters now for my latte and a blueberry scone. Then I am going to take Chhaya for a walk, it's overcast out - see what I mean, we don't get many sunny days here. And tonight I guess I am going into work.