Entries by TATIANA

Something is wrong with my internet connection. Well, first of all I noticed that my Mac works much faster outside Alaska than here. But when I am at home (in Kenai that is) it is so slow that some sites do not load at all, especially my blog. For some reason I can go in on other blogs but my own is not working more than half of the time. I have been trying to upload pics the whole evening and ONE pic got uploaded. Extremely frustrating.......
I can't sit around waiting for pics to upload on my blog.......So back to some coffee shop tomorrow for faster internet and another try at uploading pics, I have my Halloween pics to put up dammit!

I am in bed watching Dateline, I like that show. It's scary and strange what people are capable of doing all in the name of love, hate and revenge. Chhaya is sleeping by my feet, she is farting because I fried up some eggs for her earlier.
Soooooo.......back in Kenai - yeaaaahaw! It's colder than Vegas that's for sure but not very cold, that will come.....soon. I should probably go running before it's snows. My life in Kenai is so slooooow compared to Vegas. Vegas is non stop if I want it to be. Here is Kenai, there is no non stop even if I wanted to.
I think I might return to work Wednesday or Thursday. Friday for sure.
I have pictures from my Halloween but the internet connection here has been painfully slow so I am going to have to go to a coffee shop to upload and resize all the pics but they are coming soon!

Spent my last day in Vegas with my friends. First I met up with Julia for some sweaty time at the gym, then we went and had coffee and a well needed talk to sort some much overdue issues out........good! After that I had to run some errands. Some last minute things to get, like more lashes, shampoo and bubble wrap.





Then I got home, showered, glued on some lashes and met up with Julia again, this time for a photo shoot. A friend of hers needed a girl to model for a shoot and the girl turned out to be me. It was fun and hopefully I get some cute images out of it. Photo shoots are usually fun, except when the photographer turns out to be a prick and doesn't keep his end of the bargain. Happened to me twice so far - disappointing and a waste of my time and effort. Just another lesson in that some people are nasty assholes, unfortunately.
In the evening I went out with my Mikey Skrink for some fun. We were going to check out a new club called The Act that just opened up at The Palazzo, I heard some good things about it and thought it would be exactly my kind of place. But The Act was not open......so we went to eat and to a gay club and watched buff cuties run around in man panties and some freaks that I suspect were still up and partying since the night before......



I had to leave for the airport at 4 30 am.......here is the last pic of Vegas - yes, you can gamble at the airport.



And this is what I love to see when I arrive in Vegas, the stone animal decorations at the airport. This is a rabbit, then there is also a lizard and and a snake. When I see them I get a happy homey feeling in my body.



Well, I had to leave Vegas for this time around, I will miss my friends and my fun Vegas life. 😥
I am back in AK now.

Here is Chhaya is her Krokodilsky outfit, like I call it. SO CUTE! I miss her so much, I don't even want to think about it.
Happy Halloween!

Went on a day trip to China Ranch and to Tecopa mud baths yesterday. I love taking people that have never been there before because it's a great adventure, very scenic, nice and not too far from Vegas, although technically China Ranch is in California by Death Valley.



Also mandatory while at China Ranch is a visit to the gift shop for a yummy date shake. They grow date trees at China Ranch and you can sample the fruits inside. The hike I go on is to the Slot Canyon. I also found out that there is a hike to a waterfall, so we went there too.







I love nature, hiking, hot springs, skiing, anything that I can do outside that doesn't involve a large engine roaring in my ears. I want to be able to move my body in nature instead of sitting in a car or some other vehicle. So when I am outside getting sweaty and dirty I am very happy girl.







After the hike I took my friends to the mud baths in Tecopa and we splashed around in the hot water for a while, played with the mud.





The drive back to Vegas on a desolate desert road was lit up by a gorgeous full moon. When I got home I was tired but happy.
Great day yesterday. There might be some more pics from this adventure up on the blog since I haven't seen what Rich and Ulrika got yet. I know they got some good pics.......
But now I am off to start my day. I am starving so I need something in my belly, like a latte and then I am picking up Julia and heading to the gym. No plans yet for tonight.......it's Halloween!

Today one of my best friends had to put down her companion Honey. Honey was also Chhaya's best friend. They were both born in May 2005, a few days apart and loved playing together. Chhaya would get so excited when she knew she was going over to Honey's place, it was so cute!
My friend is sad beyond words, she is far away from me, in Chicago and I feel helpless because I wish I could do something to make her feel less pain. I can just imagine if that was me going through that - I would had been devastated, inconsolable and brokenhearted.
I am actually very afraid of grief and losing the people I care for and of course Chhaya. I do not know how to handle grief.
I have known people that have passed away but no one very close to me and I don't want that ever to happen. I wouldn't know what to do. I think I would rather be the first to die so I don't have to deal with that pain. How do you go on? I know that life goes on, no matter what but how does one go on after going through something that painful?
I want to live a long life but at the same time I don't because I know that the older I get the more of the ones that I love will die and leave me.
I even had thoughts that the day Chhaya passes I don't want to continue living because I love her SO MUCH and I don't know if I could deal with being without her.......I have asked her, told her a few times, while looking into her beautiful eyes, that we will never be apart, that somehow, somewhere we will be reunited. I want to believe that there is a place somewhere where we will all meet up, any person and any being that we have loved. There must be such a place! Otherwise, why are we here? To get born, live and have experiences, including many difficult ones and then just die? What is the purpose of that? That can't be it - there must be something else, something more.
I feel so bad for my friend that lost her best friend too soon. Dogs - the most loving, loyal companions don't live long enough. It's so unfair. 😥
Here are some pictures of Chhaya and her beautiful best friend Honey.......





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