Entries by TATIANA

I love discovering new and interesting blogs. I was reading many easy blogs, full of mostly nonsense (for a lack of a better word) but still entertaining. But since a while now I have been enjoying some rather intelligent and very thought provoking blogs. I like that. And I still read the easy ones, they can be fun.
I really enjoy debating and discussing. Look, I know that people have different opinions and I welcome and appreciate that. Sometimes a new point of view will allow me to grow and develop as a person and that is what I want, I want to better myself. Some opinions and lifestyle's I will never approve of, like hurting animals or people, trashing nature and stuff like that. I don't want people like that around me.
So I discovered a new (to me) blog this evening. And it is GOOD. It is a feminist Swedish woman blogger, I read a few other Swedish feminist blogs already, so this one is a new addition. I read a few of her entries and it inspired me to write this one. About me being a feminist and being called ugly names by men. I have written several entries about being a feminist already, if you want to read them you can type in "feminist" in the search bar in the upper right hand corner and enjoy my thoughts.
What I want to talk about is when random guys I meet at work, that don't even KNOW me, think it is totally OK to say that I am a bitch, angry and/or bitter. I have heard this several times. I think I know why they, in their semi or very intoxicated state backed by a pea sized brain, say stuff like this.....more on that in a bit.
Actually, I am a rather happy and positive person. I wake up and go to sleep feeling happy and content with my life the majority of the time. Sure life can be hard and I get sad sometimes and I am not afraid to talk about that or share it. I do think, at times, that life is a series of hardships with happy events and experiences thrown in to make it easier and more livable,
I think that is a realistic approach to life. If you are not numbing yourself to cope. I go through my life sober. But I often feel extremely grateful and happy over the life I have. If I have an issue with certain people in my life, it is with THAT individual and the issues that comes with THAT person. Currently I am having a rather negative and on-going experience with a person in my life since a while now but I try not to let issues I have with one person transpire into how I relate to others and I still feel full of joy, despite that person. I had the best day today for example and I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, got my latte, came home and spent my afternoon outside doing yard work for hours, took Chhaya for a long walk, ate a huge and delicious meal (salad), played with Chhaya, watched some tv - normal stuff you know but I was SOOOO happy! I do love my life right now.
So when some idiot that I encounter at work calls me bitter/angry/bitch they really do not know what the fuck they are talking about. And I do not appreciate comments like that either. If anything I will either become even more "bitchy" (be careful boy!) or walk away and not pay any more attention to that idiot and that is usually too is difficult for them to understand. Listen honey, INTEGRITY is priceless for me, I can always make money at work, a bad night here and there is not going to ruin me. I'd rather have a bad night but feel good about myself than put myself through torture and pretend to appreciate some of the crap that comes out of certain people's mouths.
So now to my theory why I sometime (I want to stress sometime, because it's not all the time but the sometimes add up) hear these "compliments". Well, I think that men (many men) have a preconceived and wrongful idea of how women should act around them and towards them. And I do not fit into that idea. Look wise I might but certainly not (for some men) in the way I act. And especially not how they think a girl that works as a dancer (stripper) should act. I do not fawn over them, I do not flirt or give fake compliments, I don't care if they like me or not,
I do not act dumb or like a bimbo. I am outspoken, well spoken, confident and stand up for myself and my co workers if I happen to see any guy in there acting like an ass towards any of them. I AM MYSELF and that seems to be very difficult for a certain kind of man to deal with, therefore they resort to what they know best. Name calling and trying to dominate. So the women that stand up for themselves automatically become ANGRY, or BITTER or better yet BITCHES. LOL! Puhleeeze, come up with something BETTER, something of SUBSTANCE.
Use your intelligence, dig around for it! Let's discuss and debate and see what you have to come with! I am never going to dumb myself down or take less room than a man, at work or outside of work. Yes, you CAN be a feminist and a dancer, although I am aware of that it rather doesn't go hand in hand. But if any feminist is reading this and is feeling distraught by my profession, trust me.....I am doing my best and I am OK. I promise!
As far as my looks go (or lack thereof, he he).....I do not think that I cater to men. I've been pretty much looking the same for years. Even before I started dancing. I like having my hair long, because I like it, not because some men might like it. I do enjoy make up, pink nail polish and girly stuff, I do. But I do not feel the need to put on make up every day. Or wear revealing eye candy outfits. But hey, I am not going to wear a burqa either. I don't have any altered body parts to please men. I am not saying that women with fake boobs can't be feminists.....but you kind of have to wonder why they decided to get that boob job in the first place, unless it's some form of reconstructive surgery. And even then I am sure some of the most dedicated feminists would protest. I know one girl that got a boob job simply because she figured it would increase her earning potential at work (dancing) and it did and she is not dancing anymore, bigger and better things are awaiting her. And she actually had a reduction done to her boobs after she quit dancing.
Basically, if you can't deal with a strong and confident woman, then walk away and leave her alone. She doesn't need or want you and your shit anyways. So yeah.....that is all I had to say this late Monday evening.

There is something wrong with the blog.....it is moving to a new server or something.....I will write more as soon as this is taken care of.....but as of now I am missing pictures in recent entries and my media library (all the pics I have uploaded so far) is gone - empty. That is a SERIOUS glitch!
I have a routine kind of, I go to Coffee Roasters, sip my latte, read about the latest stuff going on in the world and write my blog. My friend Rose-Marie says I am like a Carrie Bradshaw
(Sex and the City). Arghhhhh! I have blogging withdrawals! There are pics from yesterday that are awaiting and more Burning Man stories!
😥

Every year Burning Man has an art "theme". This year it was Cargo Cult and last year it was Fertility. I SO wanted to go last year but when I got around to buy my ticket I was too late, the tickets were sold out. Anyhow.....I read up a bit on the meaning of this years theme but I am too lazy right now (just had a latte and actually feeling sleepy) to try to describe it. But the Man stood on top of a spaceship this year, until it got lit on fire and burnt to the ground.
You can read more about it here if you are curious.

There were impressive art pieces to be found all over the playa. I think there were 372 pieces. Some were huge. I have so many pictures but a picture doesn't make this experience justice. But this one is very pretty I think....read what it says. More to come.....



How about nudity on the playa? You would see the occasional totally naked person, lots of women with no tops on and many men in tutu's. And many people wearing underwear only. To me it was completely non sexual. It's not like the nekkid people are pushing their genitals in your face, they are very natural about the whole thing. Although I could sense a sexual energy at times but that had nothing to do with the naked people. So if you go to Burning Man, please leave all your backwards morality and prudishness at home. There is no place for it there. Did I run around naked? No. I run around naked so much at work already. I did take a shower and foam bath together with a bunch of other, mostly naked people. But I kept my panties on. If nobody is throwing money at me, those are NOT coming off.....OK?
Well.....I did get naked at the playa once, I will put the result of that here soon.
That shower/foam bath was AMAZING and very refreshing. If it is there next year I will go there once a day, at least. It was GREAT. A large group of people taking a communal shower with music playing and people dancing.......FUN!!!!



I also took two more showers at Burning Man. I found a tent called Pussy Riot where girls, or goddesses, as the two guys running the whole operation chose to address the ladies coming though as. And ya'll know by now that I am a goddess, right?
In the Pussy Riot tent, I took my sweet time and washed my hair and shaved. There was a group of girls there finishing up their shower before I got there and I observed how the only guy present, when he was around (it was his set up) was acting. I was not going to take a shower and get groped, no thank you. But he was totally cool and a sweetie. I am going to bring him something nice next year, if I can find him and his tent on the playa. Next to the Pussy Riot tent there was a shower set up called Dirty Hot Girl Shower. I took a shower there, in a totally see through shower stall and I felt a bit hesitant at first to step into it and start showering but people could not have cared less. Those couple of showers were wonderful and my hair really needed to get washed and conditioned.

The first place I went to after getting some sleep the day I arrived at Burning man was Center Camp. I loved Center Camp, they even had a coffee shop there I was happy to discover so I developed a routine of starting my day with an iced latte and some down time there.
That was the only place I spent any money. The cost of a latte was $4 plus I always tip.
One other expense at Burning Man is ice, in case you want to keep your food and beverages chilled you know. Center Camp was also open at night, I made it over there for a late night chai a few times.



My latte!



How to describe Center Camp.....it is a large communal area where people gather to relax, get a coffee or chai, do yoga, sleep, talk, make new friends, they had performers and people that held speeches there too. There was also lots of art to look at and some political stuff to read up on. A great place to be in other words. You can easily spend hours there and not become bored.





It was on my second day at Burning Man while sitting down with my latte and a book at Center Camp that I met the photographer that took some amazing pics of me.....more pics coming soon. He also gave me an empty glass vial that I filled up with playa dust during the burn of the Man. Here I am with my glass vial, feeling happy to have it.



I also got a spiritual cleansing done by Neil. He and a girl were blessing and cleansing stuff and I got a cleansing too. How sweet!



I miss having my latte at Center Camp!

I am a FLEXITARIAN......that means I am very flexible, more so than most people. If you could only see how flexible.....you would be amazed....how else do you think I make all my money.....and it is lots of it too.
No but really, on a more serious note, flexitarian means that I eat mostly a vegetarian diet but I do eat meat occasionally. Not often. I did have some chicken the other day, I made stir fry.
It was delicious.



So yes, I do eat meat once in a while, rarely actually. I can't remember last time that I had beef. And I DO feel bad for the chicken, I do. I saw that there was some article on yahoo today and yesterday about the dog meat trade in the Philippines. I did not read it, I can't. It will make me cry. It is absolutely possible to survive and live well on little or no meat. Look at me, do I look malnourished? Lately I have been eating lots of super yummy veggie sandwiches that I make at home. It's simple and cheap, you can make them too and skip on eating meat at least a few times a week.



One more thing. I don't like it when people try to "force" me to eat meat or some other stuff that I don't want to eat. I don't do that to others so do not do that to me. I am old enough to decide for myself what I eat or do not eat and no, I am not missing out.....thank you.
It's about 1 am here.....I am about to sleep soon I think, unless I find something interesting to read. I finished Dan Brown's Inferno . I liked it, it brought up the important topic of human overpopulation, a topic I have strong opinions on and that I have written a few blogs about (what have I not written a blog about?) I am absolutely for birth control and a limit on how many kids people can have. No, I do not support a family like the Duggars. Or any other family or single person, woman or man that feels the need to breed like a rabbit. I'd rather live in a world that can sustain it's population and at 7 billion and counting we might (or already are) be pushing our luck.

So some might wonder if Burning Man is all about getting wasted and high. Well.....for some it might be and for others definitely not. I brought a whopping six pack of beer with me to Burning Man, drank two and gave away the other four. I also had two mouthfuls of somebody's gin and something mixture. And I was TIPSY and very happy. I am a light weight for sure.
Then I also found a very interesting package of something in the dust while walking around on evening, I picked it up, inspected it briefly and ripped it open. Whatever it was it looked like rock candy, so I proceeded to eat three pieces that tasted just like candy. YUM!



The candy also contained hemp oil and after a while my legs felt like heavy logs, I definitely couldn't dance anymore (although I wanted too), I kept on getting unexplainable but very fun laugh attacks and felt really, really good - like a total body buzz. When I finally laid down in my bed my heart area felt like it was on fire and I could hear the music outside in detail, I could also make out other people talking in the distance. Quite interesting. Looking back now,
I should had dragged myself to go and watch the sunrise on the playa somewhere......instead of laying in bed. Mountain High Suckers it said on the package.....some form of cannabinoid.



Look, I am no prude when it comes to drugs. I have tried various things but I do it rather sparingly and I don't just want to get wasted only to get wasted. I am trying to make something meaningful out of my experiences with drugs (usually, unless I unexpectedly find strange packages on the ground and devour the contents.... ) and I have even written down descriptions of most of them.
I got offered all kinds of fun stuff to ingest at Burning Man but I didn't. I didn't feel comfortable because I wasn't there with people that I knew would be there for me 100 % if I needed them to. But next year I am planning to have at least one extra special night! I am absolutely for the legalization of drugs btw. People do them anyways, legal or not.
Making drugs legal would make it more safe just to mention one benefit. Plus, hello alcohol is just as much of a narcotic as anything. I know this, I have one beer and I can totally feel the effects. Also, just because something is available and legal doesn't mean that you are going to do it. I LIKE being sober. I don't even think about it. Drugs is something that you can use to enhance your life with, if you are smart about it. And learn from......get valuable insights about yourself and the world. That is how I look at it.