Entries by TATIANA

It was so difficult to get out of bed this morning.....well midday cause I didn't wake up until around 11 30. I usually lay around in bed for while before I get up unless I have to be somewhere. I like to cuddle with Chhaya and stretch for a while before getting out of bed.
It warmed up here and it was so nice outside today, in the high 20's instead of some frigid single digits. That makes a huge difference. Me and Chhaya went for a walk in Kenai......so pretty and wintery out.





After that I went to the pool. And then some shopping. I bought a freshly baked (still hot) apple pie that I am bringing into work tonight. I'm going to incorporate the apple pie somehow in my stage routine, maybe sit in it? And then auction it off to the highest bidder, starting bid $ 200.



Me last night and my two funds. I case you don't know, I collect money for two funds that I started, one is a spay and neuter fund (for local animals) and the other is for an abused women and children local shelter (Lee Shore). I haven't been collecting lately because I feel a bit weird (embarrassed) asking people to donate, almost like I'm begging (although NONE of the proceeds go to me). But I need to start bringing out my funds at work more because I would like to donate the money before Christmas and then I can start all over again. I heard about another animal charity on the radio today that I would like to collect for. It's for funding vets and the supplies needed to mainly spay and neuter dogs and cats out in the rural Alaskan villages. You can read about it here www.akrvo.org
Even if what I collect won't be that much.......something is always better than nothing.
It makes me happy in my heart to contribute something positive to people and animals in need.



I was kind of tired at work last night and the club was so smokey towards the end that I couldn't stand it anymore. There is a pregnant girl at work, I don't know what to say about stripping when pregnant......I guess you do what you have to do in order to make money, I can just speak for myself and say that I wouldn't want to be in that situation. But you never know sometimes in life. The thing with this particular girl though is that she is smoking! I think it is really bad to smoke when you are pregnant, SO selfish. Is not not common knowledge or what? I am pretty sure she already has a kid, I don't engage with her because when she first started I got a trashy and druggie vibe from her and that's not my kind of thing. Then I was away for a while and now I guess she is pregnant. At least give up the cigarettes until you have the baby! It is so irritating to see her smoke knowing that she is carrying a child, I feel bad for her unborn baby and I wonder why she feels that she needs to put another kid onto this planet when she obviously have a problem taking care of the first one and in my opinion is severely lacking some crucial mothering skills. Smoking is gross. But to smoke when you are pregnant or expose your babies and/or (growing) toddlers and kids to cigarette smoke, that is plain disgusting. If you want to ruin your health with nasty cigarettes then do so but at least have the decency to not expose your kids and your unborn babies to that poison.

Although there was a winter weather advisory issued tonight I decided to go to work.
The roads were pretty bad driving in, I had to putter along no faster than 25-35 mph for most of the way with very low visibility, driving through a snow storm. When I arrived at work every girl was there and not a single guy. After sitting at the bar in my regular clothes (I don't change into my work clothes unless I think it might be worth it) for about 45 minutes I declared my departure.
I don't like sitting around doing absolutely nothing at work, it's a total waste of my time and energy, I get impatient and I either have to read something or write. I also don't like waiting for people to come in........once they do end up coming in, I am beyond over it, not in the mood to talk or do anything, at that point I just want to go home. Yeah, I'm moody like that!



When I came back home I shoveled some fresh snow off the porch. Peeled of the fake lashes and jumped in bed. Chhaya snuggled up on me, sometimes she wants to be as close as she can. Since it warmed up outside I am taking her on a fun walk tomorrow. I'm going to wash my face now and try to sleep so I can get up before 11. Oh and since it is the 50th anniversary of JFK's assassination today I do want to end this with a quote of his that I agree with and like. "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." I don't know much about presidents and what policies they stood for, I'm not a history buff like that. I don't know much about JFK besides that he was young, popular, a democrat and had a rather messy private life that I do not find amusing whatsoever. But that quote I do like.

I finally got my lazy butt to work last night after sitting at home for three weeks, eating and watching Netflix. I have a rule that I try to follow and that is to not live off my savings because that is not what that money is for. One day when I don't dance anymore I can use that money for something else (hopefully something good) OR you never know......what if I get sick and need that money to help me get by. So it was time to work again.
Another thing that has kept me away from the small club I work at here locally, when I don't travel for work which I can't do all the time.....is that last time I was there, back in October the owner said something rather nasty to me and I got sent home. Not for doing anything wrong but merely for joking around. I did not appreciate that treatment and I know that if I would had worked at a "regular" job that would had been absolutely unacceptable and I could had went to HR and filed a complaint or even taken it further and gotten legal advice. Well, as a dancer you don't have many rights and we are not protected in ways that most people in the workforce are. Somebody also told me that they heard I got fired. Well, listen I did not get fired. First of all, I never did anything to get fired for. Things you can and probably should get fired for as a dancer would be getting wasted at work every time you are there (acting drunk and obnoxious), stealing at work, ripping people off, doing dirty dances, having sex or just acting plain crazy. Since I don't do any of that stuff at work ever, I don't get in trouble. I got fired once by a douchey manager at Tens in NYC for not wearing the appropriate shoe (missing ankle strap) and he overheard me talking about it to my girlfriend, so he flexed his bossy muscles and fired me. And was a good thing because I went to Flashdancers instead and made more money and management loved me there. That is the only time I got fired from a club.
One more thing, the owner at this club here has told me that he is glad that I work there because I am, in his own words, "good for business." He likes the way I look and carry myself. So last night he came up to me and kindly apologized for the incident last month. Of course I accepted the apology. I know that we all sometimes blurt out things that we don't mean, we all have bad days.....that's life. So Tatiana is back in business.......BITCHES! So to all you sorry bitches here in this small town that has nothing better to do than talk shit about me, because I am such a SCANDALOUS stripper......you can KISS MY ASS!
You will never be anything close to what I am and stand for......and I do not refer to what I look like necessarily because we all have a different opinion about what beauty is.....and looks don't last forever. I'm talking about who I am as a person. So go home, stuff your face with pizza, grow a bigger ass, get drunk and talk some more trash! YEAAAY!!!

OMG, a dancer that likes to read, write and talk about things that matter. LUCKY YOU!





One more thing.......and this is a PERSONAL matter. It is really interesting to me that a certain person that called me crying last summer asking me for help when they could not pay their rent and car payment due to not making any money at work is thinking it is totally appropriate to talk shit about me and yap about my personal life to some nasty white trash people here that I KNOW they would otherwise talk bad about and never hang out with in the town they were living before. I paid for a ticket for this person to get here, brought them to the club so they could make money and get back on their feet, introduced them to a nice guy that treats them way better than the 15 or so last guys that they dated or got fucked by in the last couple of years.
I have helped out on several other occasions with money and lent an ear EVERY time when they were sad or went through hard times in life because that is (at least to me) what a good friend does and this is what I get in return. Not to mention all the other nice verbal insults and crazy talk that I got barraged with last couple of months from this individual. Yea, you know who you are and I know you read my blog. Don't bite the hand that feeds you and SHAME on you! I would never ever sink as low as you. I hope you are HAPPY and that your life will finally start working out for you! And I sincerely mean that. I am a forgiving person and a very loyal friend but do NOT confuse my kindness for weakness!

I just got back from a quickie at the gym, 30 minutes and I was done. I was annoyed at first because both of the ellipticals that I use were taken, they have four total of the kind that I use (and four more of another model) but two are out of order now. So instead I got on the regular treadmill for 20 minutes but upped the incline to level 7 for 12 minutes on 4.0 speed, like hiking uphill at a brisk pace, it was good. I can't just walk in a normal pace on the treadmill, that would be like walking Chhaya outside, when I am at the gym I want to break a sweat. Then I did some legs and that was it. On the elliptical I do 30 minutes on level 16, the hill course. In case somebody is curious. My gym visits are usually about an hour long, after that I get antsy and don't know what to do there anymore. And I like going to the gym.
It feels good, sure I don't get super excited about going but once I am there I am glad I'm there. Now I'm home, I just ate, doing laundry. I fed Chhaya, sometimes I give her two hard boiled eggs, she loves that and it's a great source of protein.
Yesterday I blacked out for a few seconds. I was outside and I bent forward to pick up an extension cord off the ground. Well, I wasn't paying attention and I hit my head full on and I heard a loud bang inside my head, I completely blacked out and fell straight backwards on the ground and laid there for a few seconds. Nothing like blacking out and laying outside in the freezing cold Alaskan night. One moment of not paying attention or misjudging a situation can result in some bad consequences. I thought I was bleeding at first but I was lucky, my scalp burned but no blood and no headache and I feel fine. It is still cold here but I have experienced colder days and nights in Alaska. Some - 20 °F and - 30°F (that is about - 29 and - 34 in C.) Right now it is bath time!

I'm in bed, snacking on pistachios and laughing at Jimmy Fallon. I guess it's Miley's 21st birthday next week and she is planning on a wild and fun party to celebrate. THAT is a party I would loooooove to attend, I bet it's going to be amazing! Miley......please send Tatiana an invitation! You won't regret it.......

Anyhow. Chhaya attended the doggy class this evening, she was a really good girl. I think we might start going to a class in January so Chhaya can do something different to break up the regular routine and be around other dogs.



I want to touch on a subject that I feel strongly about. When I was in South Dakota (Winner) for work I met a very nice gentleman and we talked about our dogs. He told me about his wonderful Labrador companion and friend but then he said something that made me sad, although I chose not to say anything to him because I didn't want to offend him, or actually offend his wife (that was not present I should add). He told me that his dog is never allowed in the house because his wife thinks that the dog is dirty. So the dog sleeps in a doghouse outside, they live in Canada. It gets cold there. I know people do this and they seem to think that it is perfectly normal and that their dogs are fine and happy living like that. Well, I say they are not and so do many others. Dogs are pack animals, their human family are their pack so when you leave your dog outside you shut them out and they suffer. Of course dogs like to be outside but when you are keeping them company. I do let Chhaya out for a quick pee first thing in the morning and last thing at night, she does her thing and then she runs back home and stands outside the door and I let her back in. Later on in the day we go for walks and/or play outside together. I can never imagine not letting her in and watching her watch me from the outside in with sad eyes, that would be so wrong! Every dog deserves to live as part of it's family regardless of size and breed. If you think your dog is dirty then brush it, groom it and bathe it. Sure Chhaya brings in dirt and gets my bed dirty. But I bring in dirt too, therefore I clean.....besides some dirt won't kill me. Chhaya is curled up in bed with me right now and the companionship and joy she brings into my life is priceless. I can wash my sheets or get new ones but Chhaya is irreplaceable.
If you know somebody that keeps their dog/s outside, please show them the link I am providing and hopefully they will change their mind about keeping their companion outside. ❤

http://www.dogsdeservebetter.com

Do I have any other plans this very cold evening? It's - 2 °F that is - 19 °C, in case somebody from Europe is reading this. Brrrrrrrr!
I am going to trim some hair in the neither region. Why? Maybe it's pool time or perhaps work time again? So I am bringing out the heavy equipment for said task. Check back tomorrow for before and after pics!



One more thing before I go. Look at these two cuties, my heart melts over this......I LOVE animals! Jeffrey and Jermaine, two brothers (Lab and pitbull mix), were found abandoned. Jeffrey is blind and Jermaine helps him out. They are now safe at a shelter that took them in and the shelter is looking for a good home for them. I am sure they will find a great place for these two wonderful cuties. Look at them cuddle as they sleep.......awwwwwww! ❤



Photo Credit: Operation Ava

I had a busy day.....left for Anchorage early this morning and came back a few hours ago, it takes about three hours to drive there so I am tired now and ready for a nice and long sleep. Chhaya does not like that drive at all, she gets really tense and can't relax for the whole drive. Once in Anchorage she is fine and when we get closer to Kenai she reverts back to normal, she recognizes when we get close. She is such a baby and was bundled up the whole time that I was running around the whole town doing errands.



When I came home I took a bath and put a clay mask on my face. I am going to read a bit (stocked up on some good magazines like the latest Adbusters) and then sleep I'm sooooo tired. Sorry I'm so boring lately. I don't have anything exciting to write about at the moment.