Entries by TATIANA

So many plans for today and yesterday.....I was going to go swimming, go to the gym and work. But no, didn't do any of it. I am not feeling for anything besides eating and sleeping.
It's called PMS and I usually get this feeling for about two or three days each month, sometimes longer. I did force myself do get something done. Last night I stayed in and cleaned and I also stitched up some of Chhaya's toys that she has ripped apart and a pair of my Honey Dew's. My latest pair actually and the only pair that ever needed stitches, they came apart in the seam.
Today I cleaned Chhaya's ears and brushed her teeth. I also use chamomile tea to clean her, once it's cool enough I dip a small towel in the brew, squeeze out excess tea and clean the inside of her ears, around the eyes, the gum line and around her little PI-PI. That's the name I use for her "private" part. Chamomile is a natural disinfectant. I usually do eyes and ears first and then I grab a fresh towel and clean her gums and then her PI-PI. No double dipping the towel. Keep it clean. Now she needs a brushing.



Then I laundered my bedding and fed all my other animals.....the ones outside. After that I decided that I would not go to the gym like I had planned initially, instead I would only venture out (besides walking Chhaya of course) for a latte and a muffin, so I did that, even though that felt like a huge undertaking. PMS = even ordinary stuff feels difficult. And now I am sitting here.....thinking about work and that I don't really feel like working.....or do I? Maybe Sharon can sing that song to me like she usually does, something about that she thinks I am beautiful, that will surely improve my mood. But then sleep sounds like a great plan also.....
Today's PMS selfies. Feeling like YUCK.

Ugh.....I am so not motivated to get ready, go outside in the dark and cold and drive to work. It's 7 30 and I am in bed with my feet under Chhaya's stomach. It's so tempting to just stay like this for the rest of the night.....should I give in to being comfortable or should I be responsible and go to work?



Besides feeling lazy and unmotivated right now, I had a pretty good day. Spent some time outside in the sun with Chhaya, made a very good dinner for myself. And now I am staring at the dark night outside. Dark and cold. It's winter. I'm kind of over it.

So last night was basically another one of those waste of my time, eyelash glue, mascara and gas money nights. Well, I had fun with my friends of course but besides that not much was going on and we closed early. I occupied myself with taking pictures and goofing around. Like having fun with this cottage cheese that Sharon brought in and ate while sitting at the stage, not the first time she does that either! I mean, who sits at the stage in a strip club putting in spoonfuls of cottage cheese in the mouth? That is just too funny and you can only imagine the jokes I have been cracking about that cottage cheese!



Another thing. We have a new girl. She is crazy. Like really crazy, therefore I am going to call her CRAZY when I write about her. I have worked with somewhat unstable girls before, I have witnessed weird behavior, drama and emotional outbursts. Some which can be explained by having a bad night or being too drunk. But this girl, CRAZY, is actually not well mentally. I do not think that she should be working in a strip club, I can't think of any regular workplace that would actually hire her and even some clubs would not BUT WE DO! So come on over all you crazies, we'd love to have you! I know she is on many meds because I have seen her pill box, more like a large plastic container full of pills in different compartments labeled with the days of the week. Although I have not asked her specifically what meds she is on and if she is actually diagnosed with a mental disorder. I feel bad for CRAZY and I am worried about her safety. She is not a beginner stripper, she knows what she is doing and she is a ruthless hustler that has stepped on many toes in the club in her short time of being here and already had a few arguments with most of the girls. She has no filter whatsoever. I do have to say that she has a very nice body that I suspect is staying thin due to drugs, she is blonde and her eyes have a very haunted and disturbed look in them. She also slaps on blue eyeshadow like a five year old that came across Mom's makeup. Last week she barged in two hours late, she had been at the store and carried a bunch of bags. She had on boots and a skirt that barely covered her ass, that is what she wore while shopping at Fred Meyer - WTF! Therefore I am worried about her because I think she is so confused and an easy target for somebody with bad intentions. Some guys love "crazy" women for not the best reasons. And it doesn't always end well. I took CRAZY home last night because the local cab drivers already don't want to bother with her, some guy she met about a week ago would not pick her up either. From what I understood he also took her phone at some point throughout their weeklong relationship, so she had to borrow mine and an other girls phones to make calls. Then she was going to call her Mom to pick her up and since she lives not too far off my path I told her I would take her home, I felt bad for her Mom having to get up and drive to pick up her daughter at 1 30 am.
CRAZY also helps herself to anything that's not locked up in the dressing room. Shoes and outfits belonging to other girls, make up too.....she stuffed some things in her bag (not her things) last night and when confronted about it her explanation was that "it screamed my name". My stuff is always locked up but that is not OK, to just take stuff from the other girls......obviously! Then there are some other things that she has said that are way off the charts involving spying, the government and a famous rapper that she is convinced writes his songs about her.....yeah, I am not exaggerating....there is something seriously wrong with CRAZY and I am concerned. But enough about her.....for now.

YOU NEED some cottage cheese?

I met up with Lexi today for some coffee and she brought along her little baby girl. Not even a month old yet.....and THE CUTEST baby I have ever seen! So perfect, precious, cute and small although she was over 7 lbs when she was born. I got to hold her and she just laid in my lap looking at me while I was staring at her, SO CUTE!!!! I'm so happy for Lexi! ♥



Afterwards I went to the gym and now I am home, feeling that late afternoon tired feeling creeping on. But instead of taking a nap I am going to get dressed and take Chhaya out. She is my baby.

It's Monday.....again. I got some stuff done today already which is good. Then I went for a long walk with Chhaya and thought about if i should take a work trip somewhere sometimes in the near future. As usual, I am bored here. I finished today's latte, now I am going to swing by the store to pick up some groceries and then I am heading home to eat. The highlight of the day!
I got a new conditioner to try later, my hair has been dry lately. I know.....super exciting stuff huh? Should I air out my hairy armpits at work tonight? I haven't decided yet. Check back here tomorrow for some more enthusiasm from me.....or not.

I had one of the funnest nights in a long time at work last night. We just laughed, joked around and made money.....it was perfect! I even had a shot, they made me a mini shot but I still got a bit tipsy. And I felt really good. I told them they should be happy that I don't drink at work because I just become extra on top of what I already am.
So my armpit hair is growing and flourishing, it's not flailing after me when I twirl around the pole.....yet. And people are getting dances, they don't care. The only one that wants me to shave like right away is Boss Lady or The Pimp as we now call her. We joke around A LOT here, so The Pimp is said in a funny way and not behind her back in a mean way. I also sometimes tell guys (in an exaggerated very heavy accent) when they ask where I am from, that I am from Kazakhstan and that Boss Lady purchased me on the internet for $ 15 000. Then I elaborate further that I am forced to work every night, must make back the money plus a profit, only get one meal/day from McDonald's and that I want to escape and please can they help me get away? The other night Boss Lady told me that somebody might actually believe me and the authorities might come knocking to investigate the human trafficking that's going on at the club. I can assure you that I am perfectly legal in the US and not held captive, I just like to joke around, it makes work so much more fun. Anyhow, Boss Lady presented me with a shaving kit when I was on stage last night, I told her that she could do me the honors and shave me on stage. That did not happen. I have decided to keep my SEKSI pit hair for a while longer.



So, it's Sunday. I am off to do some errands soon, then me and Chhaya will go for a walk somewhere. I have to mention a few more things before I go. There are a lot of really psycho people out there. The other day I read about the married with kids Utah couple that had sex with their 16 year old baby sitter, killed her and disposed of her in the woods. SICK. I feel SO bad for that girl and her poor family. There seems to be a lot of seriously sick people living in Utah, I wonder why? Deprived much? Then today I read about some other married couple that murdered a bunch of people they met on Craigslist. The woman would post sex ads and horny men would answer them (WTF guys, STOP doing crazy stuff and THINK with the head on top of your shoulders!!!!) and then she and her hubby would kill the guys. I guess many of the killings happened here in Alaska. And this happily married psycho couple even went to a strip club after one of the murders. So if you are bored and feeling a bit lonely this Sunday, maybe in need of some sexy time attention, practice some safe self lovin'! Use your hand!
Do not search for attention on Craigslist, you might end up dead. Listen to Tatiana's advice!
And speaking of human trafficking since I mentioned it earlier, OF COURSE I am against it. Very much so. It's one of the topics, besides animal abuse that I really burn for. Well, I have to go now. Happy Sunday!