Entries by TATIANA

There has been some firsts for the year since yesterday. It was nice and warm out yesterday, so much so that I tanned outside for the first time this year, I did it again today. I am pale and burn easy, so only about ten minutes on each side. I have so many moles, probably 100 plus. Hello melanoma!



Laying outside is very peaceful. I hear only the wind rustling through the trees, the occasional airplane and the chime making sounds.



Chhaya is spending most of her time outside now, she loves laying in the sun, soaking it up like a lizard.



Another first for yesterday.....I got attacked by the first mosquito of the year. Last year the mosquitoes were harassing this area in thick swarms, it was really bad, there were even lengthy articles in the local papers about the unusually large amount of mosquitoes here. It looks like it might be another year thick with those fuckers. Yeay......not.
Today I walked barefoot for the first time this year and brought out the flip flops. Havaianas.



Then I went on my first run of the year. It was great and I am so happy I can start running outside again. Today I did a 25 minute run, to keep the Kenai chunk away. I get chunky
(I think) here in Kenai and usually the chunk comes off when I go somewhere else for a while. There is no Whole Foods here. I enjoy running, it makes me feel alive and I inhale the fresh air deep into my lungs, they need it, the club here is so smokey. It should be illegal to subject non smokers to unhealthy poison like that.





I was jumping around like a newborn calf.



After the run I took Chhaya to the beach for a walk. It takes me about five minutes to drive there.







Chhaya is sleeping now.....I'm listening to Coast To Coast, texting, drinking tea and eating garlic naan and hummus. Soon I am going to brush my teeth, take out my contacts, turn off the light and go to sleep.

There have been so many horrible accidents lately. The Malaysia Airlines jet that disappeared with hundreds of people on board and is thought to have crashed into the ocean with no survivors. The bus crash in CA. The South Korean ferry disaster with so many people dead and hundreds still missing, drowning in the ocean. The avalanche on Mount Everest. SO SAD.
I get very emotional over stuff like this and imagine the victims last moments and struggle for survival. Were they scared? I wish I could take away their pain. And what about the anguish of the surviving relatives and friends? How awful. One minute we are here and alive but that can change in an instant. But then I'm thinking.....is it better to live until you are so old that you can't function on your own anymore, when you need others to do the things you took for granted for you? Is that better? Again I'm thinking about life and death a lot right now and wonder if the life we live here, on Earth, is some kind of a cruel joke, basically a long road of suffering. Some people really suffer. They are hungry, abused, hurt. Live under difficult circumstances with seemingly no hope for a positive change. What is the meaning of a life like that? Maybe death is a sweet relief in the end. Maybe death is the beginning of what's awaiting us next, some form of heaven or paradise? I can only hope because I have a very difficult time in coming to terms with that this life here is it. It can't be!
I have been out of the loop with the global news lately but I have heard bits and pieces about the situation in Ukraine. Some people think that we are on the brink on World War 3.


(Pic borrowed from moscow.usembassy.gov)

Putin is considered to be the most powerful man in the world, according to Forbes magazine and I can guarantee according to him too. What if they would just divide up Ukraine into two different countries? Like how former Yugoslavia decided in splitting into seven different countries. Or the Czechoslovakia breakup into two.
I guess Putin was asked if he was planning on taking back Alaska next.....you know the 49th state used to belong to Russia and he said no because it's too cold. He also said, "“Who needs Alaska?” Putin obviously doesn't know that I am in Alaska. HELLO!!!?
What can you say about Putin? Here he is on one of his many adventures.....riding a horse in Siberia.


(AP Photo/RIA Novosti, Alexei Druzhinin, POOL)

Besides this I have been listening to rather scary accounts of whether the US truly is a democracy or an oligarchy. What do you think? I think people in general are like a herd of controlled sheep. And I include myself in that herd. It's scary. Ignorance is bliss, until shit hits the fan that is.

Last night I left for work, running about ten minutes late. We are supposed to be there by 10 pm and I'm usually on time.....but not always. While driving along K-Beach (Kalifornsky Beach Road) when I see two dogs, weaving in and out of traffic......both lanes. The dogs were side by side and would not leave the road. The cars were plenty and all slowed down, I was praying that the dogs wouldn't get hit. When I finally caught up to them, I put my hazard lights on and slowed down. Then I pulled over to the side and got out of my car, hoping that the dogs would get in the car. They did come up to my briefly but then they started running again. So I continued a bit more until I could turn around......I parked the car and called the dogs to me. Then I managed to coax them away from the road into an area where there is cattle and rodeo's in the summer time. Again, I got them to come up to me and tried to get them in my car. The dogs looked tired but were frantic and confused, panting acting nervous but friendly. They drank water out of a large puddle and chewed on a pile of manure, obviously hungry. Then they ran away from me again, I kept calling them while they ran towards K-Beach. Luckily another person stopped and she got out of her car and opened the back of her SUV and the dogs jumped right in. I got on the phone with the police and they said somebody was on their way. I drove up to the lady that had the dogs. I think they were more familiar with jumping into the SUV because it was lower to the ground, my truck is high and they probably didn't understand what to do. We chatted, petted the dogs that dug into some burritos she had from Taco Bell in the car. You could see them relaxing by the minute, they had been so stressed out. The police called me back and asked if I could take the dogs to the animal shelter, we decided that the lady would take them into the shelter since the dogs were in her car already and I continued to work. This morning I got a text from the lady, she informed me that she had tracked down the owners through Facebook, the dogs are show dogs and got loose somehow but they are now safely back home.
I can just imagine Chhaya running down a busy road, scared and confused not knowing what to do. I can just hope that somebody would try to save her from getting hit by a car or injured somehow. I tell her frequently that she always has to stay by the house, in the yard with Mommy and that cars are "ouchie". I'm so glad that the dogs are OK, a happy ending!

So.....if you have been reading my blog for a while you might have noticed that I have been making a couple references to being an anorexic stripper with brittle bones and a meth habit lately. Of course I'm joking! I am obsessed with Breaking Bad, like most people and I think it's like the best show ever. Walter and Jesse are my heroes. But what really sparked the jokes was a comment I got a few weeks ago. I thought it was kind of funny, hence the jokes.
This was the comment, left by a "greg", "Sexy anorrexic rib cage picture. Show me more of that please , sick unhealthy strippers are the best. The older the better, dont fall down you might break a hip. Do guys like touching those ribs? "
I think I figured out where the comment came from. I was at work in Vegas, it was April 1.
I was in a really funny mood and walked up to a group of four guys. The conversation turned into me quickly making up a story (hellooooo it was April 1!) that I was a convicted bank robber and part of my deal with the judge was to do 100 hours of community service in one of the Vegas strip clubs. I said that in Vegas, women have a choice of doing community service in a strip club.....Vegas is Vegas and the town is unique like that. So they thought it was a funny story and one of them seemed really into it and we kept the banter going for a while. They asked if they could read about it somewhere and I told them to google Tatiana Supernova (which they probably did, found the blog and that is where the comment comes in) to read all the details of the bank robberies. Then one of them blurted out something in the lines of that I looked kind of old to be a stripper and snarkily added that he thought I looked like 31. I told him that if he thought I looked old and 31 he should just sit back and wait, the club was full of ladies that looked and actually were 10 -20 years older than me, easily. Then another one in the group, the seemingly more intellectual one, decided that he was going to get a dance and we walked off but instead of doing a dance we talked.
He informed me that I "wasn't it" for his friends. Not look wise but personality wise, because I had opinions and talked back. OK......Let's put a few things straight here. What guys think of me, whether I am "IT" for them, looks or personality, is NONE of my concern. I stopped worrying about trivial little things like that a long time ago. And I advice all women to join me on that, I promise you that your life will become much better! Yes, I am a dancer and I make money based on what I look like, I am fully aware of that fact -thank you very much. But I am who I am at the same time. Playing dumb is something that I never do. I know some women play dumb because they are basically trying to be manipulative in gaining something they want in the end. And good for them, I guess. But I don't have it in me to play dumb, I am aware of that I come off "bitchy" in many insecure men's eyes and I really don't give a shit.
Or how my newly found fellow dancer that I now love, Stella puts it, "Some customers won’t like you. A lot of customers didn’t like me because I don’t play stupid, which equates to being a bitch in their eyes. This is fine."
At work people comment on the way I look all the time. I collect unusual compliments, besides the regular ones like beautiful, gorgeous, pretty, sweet, bitch etc. Bitch is a compliment in my book. My latest addition to the collection is "flawless specimen". As far as my age goes, I get anything from 22 - 35. The last guess was 23 from a man on a business trip to Vegas from China. I'm really in my mid 50's (shhhhh don't tell anyone!) but manage to stay so young looking by indulging in weekly goat milk baths (if it was good enough for Cleopatra it is good enough for Tatiana) and frequent nightingale dropping facials. My Polish genes probably play a part too.
I do have to admit that the next day after that comment was left on my blog, I rushed to a renowned Vegas plastic surgeon and signed up to participate in a new experimental study of some super botox and fillers. They injected my whole face for free......since it's a new study I can't reveal too much about it. My whole face might melt off if things go bad or I might look like 15 again. I'm excited!



Look, the guy who sat in the booth with his friends that night, looking like a very BASIC person, probably had a chip on his shoulders about what his preconceived notions about dancers were......or maybe he just had a bad day or a shitty life in general. I don't know.
I could rip him apart, I'm pretty good at that (insert EVIL laugh here) but let's just stick to BASIC today. It's a new fave word of mine to describe people. BASIC.
I have enough self confidence that I could bottle it up and sell it. Ladies, don't let any guys opinions about you make or break your day!
And as far as my protruding ribcage goes......it makes me a TON of $$$! I charge $ 100 each time somebody lays a finger on my precious skinny ribs. Check them out......SEKSI huh?



What else before I go on with my day.....? Oh yeah, my meth habit. OF COURSE I have a meth habit, ALL dancers (strippers) do.....we all know that! Right? Lucky for me Walter didn't really die at the end of Breaking Bad (duh that was just for TV). He set up shop in my basement, so I am doing that blue meth and dating Jesse. Life is good!

I'm at Kaladi sipping on my latte and writing. I was supposed to meet Marlene for coffee but she didn't show up. WTF Marlene.....I am going to spank you when next time I see you!



I miss Vegas.....my life is so much more....full, I guess would be a good way to describe it there. Don't get me wrong, I live in a BEAUTIFUL house in Kenai, I'm surrounded by nature and forest but the weather sucks (most of the time) and this is the most boring and unfulfilling (for me) place I have ever spent a longer stretch of time in. That's how I feel.
Thank goodness I have a house in Vegas also and can escape to civilization when I have to. Here I am with a latte from Sambalatte in my hand, on my way to DO something.....instead of sitting at home (in Kenai) gaining ten lbs doing NOTHING. LOL. Well, "nothing" as in all the stuff that I do.....take care of stuff, like myself, Chhaya, work, my house, go camping, hiking occasionally and bla bla bla.....



So I have discovered a bunch of wonderful blogs about dancing on tumblr. Some are full of cool and beautiful pictures of fellow dancers and everything that attains to stripping and others have great writing and many words of wisdom. I'm addicted and I have to explore them some more! I like this.....it's from fuckyeahstrippershit.tumblr.com



One more thing. One of the girls that makes my coffee, actually one of my fave baristas asked me the other day if I'm a dancer. I said yes and we talked a bit about it. She told me she kind of wants to start dancing, She is a very beautiful young girl but too young.....she is only 19.
I personally think you should wait until you are at least 21-23 to start dancing (depending on personal maturity level) although some clubs have girls as young as 18 dancing. I think that's too young, those girls are still children in my opinion and many of them are too vulnerable to anything negative that might come their way. I'm going to go back to the coffee shop tomorrow and we are going to talk some more about it. She doesn't know about my blog, I might not tell her about it but I'm going to show her something that I think all dancers should read, full of great advice and wisdom and I agree with most of it! Good read for non dancers too, that want to understand a bit more about this line of work. Here are some examples......

"Being in a clear, sound mental state is required to make solid money as a stripper. Not just suggested. REQUIRED. I don’t want any of this “I’m desperate for money so I’m gonna strip!” bullshit. Clubs don’t need thirsty girls. They don’t need addicts. They don’t need girls with problems who have “no other options”. They need sane, responsible, intelligent women. If you are ruled out through these minimal qualifications, please, for the love of my sanity, turn back now."

"If they try to haggle your prices, tell them this shit isn’t a flea market it’s a strip club."

"Don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable doing!"

"If you can’t do it sober, you shouldn’t be doing it at all."

Whoever Stella is that wrote that.....I love her! Read the whole thing
HERE

I saw a pic like this of a dancer suitcase on a tumblr blog dedicated to dancers (strippers) a while back. I can't remember which one now but the pic that I saw inspired me to create my own pic, with my own stuff, inside my own dancer suitcase. You like?





There are some really cool blogs on tumblr dedicated to dancers! I enjoy looking at them.