Welcome to Chaos !!

For the somewhat gullible people that might be reading my blog.......of course the previous blog about the hemorrhoid, pin worms, yeast infection and STDs was meant as a joke.
DUH! If I really had a hemorrhoid I certainly wouldn't be dancing nude, I would stick to topless clubs only. And I wouldn't advertise it either.
And yes, I know that hemorrhoids are very common. I've known some people with them, to me it's something completely normal, it's really not that gross though from what I understand it can be uncomfortable, even painful.
I am quite fascinated with reading about certain ailments and diseases that can happen to humans, like bot flies, tape worms, elephantiasis, Progeria, Ebola, gross cysts and boils - all that stuff I find interesting.......
But see, when I am at work, I LOVE to joke around. Because I get BOOOOOORED out of my mind. I either read, sing along loudly to the music, practice animal sounds, joke around, go to sleep or go home when I get bored at work. I can't stand just sitting there, it drives me crazy.
Most strippers will do the "sexy" talk to the guys. Compliment them (even if they don't mean it) or whisper some bs in their ears to get them to do dances.
Me? I loudly talk about my (imaginary) hemorrhoid, that is named Oscar btw. It can sound something like this, "Hi, I have a big, swollen hemorrhoid - if you get a dance with me I can leak hemorrhoid juice all over your lap, you need a dance?"
I should probably add here that I don't crack jokes like these every night, I have to be in my funny mood. Sometimes I do behave "normal" and if somebody can engage me in an interesting conversation I am ok with that too.
I also love talking about my friends, the pin worms. They glow in the dark. Makes for a great show on stage or during a lap dance! Surely you want to see that?
And sometimes when I get some tips on stage I say, "Thank you soooooo much, now I can go to the store after work and get some yeast infection medication, finally!!!"
Most people think it's funny and some look at me like I am crazy.
Or I have these teeth too that I sometimes pop in my mouth while I walk around and ask for dances. When people say no, I loudly whine, "Whyyyyyy, what's wrong with meeeeee?????".
Some of my fellow co workers look at me like I have lost my marbles but I'd rather be funny and myself instead of pretending that I am a prim and proper "lady" like some of them do. Because when most of them get a guy in the back all that lady like behavior is gone......POOF!
Boob grabbing and all kinds of other things, well some of them.....not all. I am so sick and tired of seeing girls getting their VAGINE touched, like GROSS!!!! I might be joking around (unladylike) about my pin worm friends but nobody is ever going to grab my boobs or my other private parts at work. So, who is the REAL lady in the end?
Plus, who will people remember when they leave? The girl walking around trying to get dances by whispering some bs in peoples ears, I can just IMAGINE what they say......LOL. Or somebody that makes you laugh?
Look how cute I look with my teeth! Adorable! They are a little yellow because I drink a lot of lattes but my fave dentist, Dr Mengele has left town to do pro bono dental work in Mexico.





Once I actually did work with a girl that had a hemorrhoid. I am sure I have worked with plenty of girls with hemorrhoids but in topless clubs you do not take your panties off. Plus in nude clubs you can have a small external hemorrhoid and nobody would know, because you don't have to spread you cheeks open, or do some advanced doggy style positions, I don't......I think that looks kind of odd.
But anyways, this girl and her little friend would go on stage and you could totally see it hanging there. LOL. Maybe she didn't know what it was?
It is very possible! Listen, I once worked with a girl in her late 20's that didn't know where in her VAGINE her clitoris was located. An American girl, not a girl from some country where women are forced to wear burqas.

It is STILL raining......how can this be possible? Tatiana wants it to stop raining already!
What to do on a rainy Sunday? Have some much needed Tatiana time, a spa day at home of course!
Tatiana is going to take care of her hemorrhoid - it has been growing to out of control proportions this last week.
Also she needs to try to cure her chronic yeast infection. Hey, always good to have one of those if you need some cheese on a cracker! She is also going to use this STD screening kit to see what STDs she might have picked up lately. You know what they say......ALL strippers have STDs, those skanks!
When Tatiana went shopping earlier today she stocked up on some much needed stuff. Like anti-stink spray for her VAGINE - the spray even has a romantic name....Summer's Eve, comes in a cute bottle too! How can any girl resist picking one of those up?





Also she needs to do something about those pesky pin worms. They are becoming somewhat annoying. Tatiana has to constantly scratch her butt, not so SEKSI at work perhaps?



So yeah, she has this whole rainy afternoon to pamper herself. This is stuff that ALL girls do, so don't be surprised like Tatiana just let you in on some juicy secret or something. The only thing juicy today is her hemorrhoid, ok!?
Later Tatiana might even go to work. Like a new person, clean as a whistle!

When French-Iranian journalist Freidune Sahebjan published The Stoning Of Soraya M it became an international bestseller, focusing attention on the practice of stoning in Iran, as well as the lack of women's rights there. Despite official denials, untold numbers of people, mostly women, continue to be put to death by stoning in many countries around the world.

It's been raining all day, rain, rain, rain. What to do? Watch a movie. I just finished watching The Stoning Of Soraya M a movie based on a true story. It was difficult to watch because I know atrocities like these happen all the time, death by stoning - mostly women - even innocent women, not that it matters. You know, in some countries your husband can get rid of you like this if you become a nuisance to him. How people can stand by and watch a stoning or even participate in one is mind boggling to me. Mob mentality and feeble minded people. Very scary to know that they are out there. I am not pro any religion but I know what's RIGHT and WRONG.
Women are just as valuable as men, women should have the same rights as men. Equality. It seems like some religions don't look at that issue the same way as I do. I don't know why anyone would want to be part of a religion like that. The acting in The Stoning Of Soraya M is exceptional, it must had been mentally difficult for the actors to put themselves through that process. The movie is difficult to watch and yes, I cried. I cried for that poor woman, her children, her loving aunt Zahra and everybody else that has been found guilty when innocent.
It happens in the US too. Though here people don't get dragged to the town square, bound, put waist deep in the ground and stoned to death by anyone willing to participate.
One more thing, this movie is based on a book. The book has been banned in Iran........


Don't act like the hypocrite,
Who thinks he can conceal his wiles
While loudly quoting the Koran.

- Hazef, 14th Century Iranian poet

I have to start getting ready for work. I am kind of drained and not motivated. It feels kind of meaningless. But you never know, I might have a fun night!

I should add here that I am far from free of faults. But I usually know when I do something wrong and I can admit to it and also apologize.
I am just a girl that has moments of almost permanent self-assuredness that thinks people out there actually care about what I have to say.

Woke up to pouring rain and no power in the house - fun! Hopefully I will have power back on when I get home, showering in cold water is awful.
Hot water coming out of the faucet is a luxury most of us take for granted. When I was little and still lived in Poland....even though we lived in a large city (Gdynia) we didn't have hot water. So when it was bath time my Mom heated up water on the stove and poured it into a large tub that she would take out and put in the main room. And then we moved to Sweden and everything was different but still the same......if that makes sense.
Of course Poland is totally modern and developed now unless you seek out that rustic experience which can be interesting though I much rather have hot water coming out of the faucet, makes life easier. I try to appreciate what I have but I forget often. We have it good in the westernized countries, remember that.

Last night at work we had two "regular" girls go on stage and entertain us for a song. When girls that have no experience stripping go on stage they usually move fast and jerky, kind of like when they are out in a club dancing. Usually they are nervous and tipsy too so the way they move is exaggerated due to that too. Once you start working in a strip club you tend to slow it down some. I've heard I move kind of slow, smooth and sensual. Hey, just what I've heard more than once - ok.
Though some girls never get it and jerk and flop around like a fish out of water - not so attractive.
Anyways, one of the girls that went on stage, her name is Ashley and she lives here. To me, she is the prettiest girl I've seen around here, she has a large tattoo that covers her whole back and goes down on her butt cheeks. A beautiful face and a nice body. We always compliment each other and flirt when she comes in. I like Ashley. She is thinking about starting to dance (strip) but not here, she knows too many people and she wants to get good on the pole first too, so she she is going to take a pole dancing class first.

Another thing. A girl just left the club and moved out of state. She brought her dog with her but left her 13 (!!!!) cats to fend for themselves.
WTF!!!! How can anyone do that? That should be illegal and punishable, that is animal abuse!
First of all, SPAY or NEUTER your animals so they do not reproduce like that and also TAKE CARE of them. I don't know how a person can do something like that? I am thinking about starting a collection at work, the proceeds I will donate to a local spay and neuter program that helps people do this for their animals. It is WRONG to be a careless animal owner. BOOOOO and shame on you if you are!!!
People like that should be outed, their picture should be on the front page of the local paper, together with everybody else that abuses animals or children.

It's time for Tatiana to get in the shower and wash her dirty butt, shave her stubbly legs, wash her hair and bla bla bla ........glue on the fake lashes and go to work! Check back tomorrow for more news from your fave girl Tatiana. Remember.......YOU NEED!!!

So it's time for Tatiana to go back to work tonight.......noooooooooo!!!!! She has not been since last Saturday and from what she's heard it's been rather uneventful in there, not surprising. Once the summer is over things die down here out in the boondocks.
Well, at least it will be fun to go on stage tonight to the new fave song by Ellie Goulding Lights .
The worst is when you work in a club where you can't pick your music, it can be awful and even embarrassing. When Tatiana worked at Shotgun Willies in Denver she was stuck on stage to Crazy by Gnarls Barkley more than once and Two Princes by Spin Doctors - a song that Tatiana thinks should NEVER be played in a strip club. So NOT sexy. Same goes for MMMBop by Hanson and Baby by Justin Bieber. Tatiana also remembers one time when a girl played Heal the World by Michael Jackson.......while strutting her stuff on stage. That just does not go together......

Here are some pics from a few months ago........
Photographer Mark Wiggin.




One more thing while Tatiana still remembers.....last Saturday work started out very slow. So the bartender told us to "call our customers" and tell them to come in. Tatiana has heard that before, from the owner, on slow nights.
First of all, that's kind of pathetic. The girls should not have to call anyone to get people to come in. And Tatiana very rarely gives out her phone number. She can count on one hand the times she given out her number to anyone she met at work, those people became a friend outside of work too. The number thing is absolutely nothing personal but if Tatiana would be giving out her number to everybody then all she would do would be either answering calls, texting or avoiding calls. Night and day.
Tatiana knew a girl once that would give out her number to anyone that asked, her phone would ring constantly, she would never answer or call anyone back. Tatiana rather NOT give out her number than avoid answering, she considers that rude.
Also, today you can email Tatiana if there is something you need to tell her, she is very good at answering e mails or you can read her blog to keep up with her. There is no need for any numbers.
Some girls also give out fake numbers. Not nice either. Another girl Tatiana knows gives out this number 867-5309. Do you get it? It's Jenny's number, you know the song! LOL.
Then there are girls that have two phones, one for work and another phone for their other life. Kind of like a business phone.
Plus Tatiana doesn't have "customers" - she has fans. Or friends. A customer is somebody that is buying something, it just sounds so weird Tatiana thinks. So no, Tatiana doesn't get on the phone, ever, to beg anyone to come in and spend money on her, she doesn't have to.
Yes, of course she has bad nights, most girls do - unless they look like Irina Shayk, Barbie or doing something nasty that they shouldn't be doing in the first place. Bad night happens, not a big deal, it's life.