Welcome to Chaos !!

It's a snowy Sunday here in Kenai. I woke up and saw that there is a fresh layer out and it got colder too. I'm ok with the new snow but not that it got about 15 degrees colder. It has been pretty warm here for a while (considering it's January) and it's nice not too freeze.
I jumped out of bed when I got up and hurried over to Coffee Roasters, they close at 2 pm on Sundays. Maybe I'll go to the gym too later.
Last night was unusually slow for a Saturday. I guess the whole town was dead, the club checks with the cabbies and the bars about what's going on in town throughout the night. There were three guys in total. One old man that got drunk. He talked about that he wants to get rid of his Basset Hound because it produces larger poops than his Labrador. Just another great dog owner. No clue whatsoever.
The two other guys were sitting and talking about all the women they've had sex with, describing their physical attributes and arguing whether they hooked up with each others girlfriends, wives and sisters. And commenting stuff about the girls on stage. I told them to shut up when I went up and immediately got labeled "mean". I like that! Yeah buddy, mean is just a scratch on the surface. Go somewhere else and talk about women like that, we don't want to hear it.
So none of us made money (besides a little) but we found ways to entertain ourselves.
We laughed about such fun things as pinworms. Imagine a dancer with a pinworm infestation, the little fuckers would glow in the black light. One of my long standing jokes,
"Do you want to see my pinworms?" Yea, that is my kind of humor. Some of it. Then we laughed about Bukkake omelettes (still) and collectively felt very grossed out by it. I'd rather have pinworms for the rest of my life than do THAT, YUCK! Some girls organized their lockers. And that was that.

There is a reason why Bossy by Lindsay Lohan is kind of like my theme song. It is actually a good song, very cute, sassy, good message and perfect for me I think. What you think is none of my concern.
I'd much rather sing along to or go on stage to a girl singing about being bossy than some rocker dude singing about a girl looking better with something in her mouth or a rapper yapping about bitches and hoe's that need to give him all their money. No darlin', YOU give ME all your money and shut YOUR mouth or stuff it with something.....thank you. I never go on stage to songs that I think are about putting women down and I will wait for another song to do a lap dance if something like that is playing. An example that comes to mind is
Fuck You Blind by Kid Rock. Although I like some of his other songs.
This is me laying down the law for Sharon last night. I am bossy (typical alpha female) but in a good way though. I want what's good for people. And sometimes they simply need somebody telling them what to do. That is just how it is. Sharon needs money, therefore she needs to bring her ass to work. Sometimes you just need that extra kick in the ass to get out of the house and DO SOMETHING.
And KOOTER is my new fave word for VAGINE.



Stop touching me without permission
Don't disobey, answer to me
Said if you wanna play, follow direction
We do this my way, my way, my way

What do you really want? What do wanna know?
What do you wanna see? Where do you wanna go?
If you leave it to me, we will not go slow
I got places to be, when you're ready let me know

I'm just a little bossy
I like it how I like it, when I like it and that's how it is
I'm just a little bossy
You got a problem with it? If I want it I get it now

Trust me, you want me happy
Punishment can be severe
Please me and I will gladly
Brighten up your atmosphere

Let me shine for you
Only if I want to

Key words here ladies...... Stop touching me without permission and Only if I want to .
Ladies, don't let some guy dictate your life. You are the captain of your journey!

I made a new friend at work last night, her name is Koda and I fell in love. Some guy brought his dog in, yes we allow that sometimes, I would feel bad if a dog had to freeze outside in a car, alone for several hours. Koda is amazing, very polite, super soft and she loved keeping me company on the couch throughout the evening. I was happy. Koda got lots of attention from me, many kisses. Clay (the dj) said that he would put on a collar and a leash and walk on all fours if I promise to give him that kind of attention too. Of course! I keep all my men in a choke collar and on a tight leash. That is the only way to keep a man ladies. Shock collar applies if they misbehave too much.
We were slow, kind of. Larry, the one that made the phone call the other night came in.
I guess he took my advice to come in after all. Actually he turned out to be really nice, a real sweetie. And generous indeed. Nice.



Besides this......I am SO tired. I yawned repeatedly on the drive to Coffee Roasters. It's the weather. I am going to force myself to go to the gym to get my body moving and sweating and get more energized. I really just want to curl up and sleep but I know that the gym will do me good.

Oh, I had the most totally stripperfabulicious day today so far. Full of craaaazy excitement!
I get asked almost every time I work, what ELSE I do. Like I have to be doing something extraordinary with my life outside of work just because I am a dancer. My amazing life could rival Paris Hilton's any day of the week (I WISH!). While Paris is off dj'ing in Ibiza or somewhere, I did such fun things today as got a latte at Coffee Roasters. WOW!
Sat at the DMV for about 40 long minutes, just so I could present the sour clerk with a piece of paper. FUN! Stood in the slow line a the post office just so I could get some mail belonging to me. EXCITING! Went to Fred Meyer to get some groceries. SEXY! Took Chhaya for a walk around a lake. SUPER COOL!
Check out what I got at Fred Meyer. It's almost as much fun as shopping spree at Neiman Marcus. My other fave place to shop.



Meat for Chhaya. Some yams, I love yams although not the overly sweet candied ones. Hummus. Apples, organic of course. And I found a new bread that is soooooo good.
They bake it at Fred Meyer every day, so it's fresh and it has cinnamon and raisins in it.
I already ate half of it. I used to eat the Robust Raisin by Dave's Killer Bread, that was my fave but they stopped either making it or selling it here. But now I have a new fave, I love bread.
Now I'm in bed, having quality time with my imaginary best friend Sheldon. I still love him, he is the best. Later on I am going to glue on those 105's again and really become stripperfabulicious. It's a miracle, like having a transformation done by a wave of a magic wand by my own fairy godmother. From normal and somewhat winter frumpy to stripperfabulicious in about 10 minutes. Amazing! TA-DAAA!

The other night at work the phone rang and Boss Lady answered. The person on the other line asked what girls were working (happens a lot here since it's a small town and a small club and some people do not want to bother coming in unless somebody they fancy is working.......you know, like ME)......anyhow......we actually had a few of us working that night. Boss Lady rattled off the report, Tatiana, Alyra, Marlene, Rouge and Autumn. I don't know why but all of a sudden I get handed the phone. I have only gotten one other phone call to the club, some guy proposed to me over the phone. LOL. Anyhow. The man on the other line introduced himself as "Larry, that spends a lot of money in there." OK.......? And? Then Larry proceeded to ask me if I, or some other girl, could perhaps give him some entertainment OUTSIDE of the club, in one of the motels. Again, he reminded me that he does have a lot of money. I resisted the immediate urge to hang up on him and decided to investigate the situation further. I asked him if he ever had any of the other girls entertain him outside of the club and if so, which one, so I could perhaps have her vouch for him. Indeed, he had! I already knew who he was going to say. The one that we all know does the extra activities outside of the club and the extra dirty dances inside of the club. But I wanted to hear him say it. It was FUGLY. Then he said that FUGLY hustles him too much for his money. I happen to remember who Larry is. About a month ago we had another slow night at work, Larry happened to be the only guy in there and FUGLY was busy with him. He even left the club and then came back for more. The reason I remember Larry is because he has a distinctive handicap, I'm not going to tell you what but he does. I ended the conversation by telling Larry that if he wants to see and talk to us girls he needs to come to the club. I am not available for any motel style entertainment and as far as I know, none of the other girls present that night either. The sex starved men here in town simply have to wait to get sex and bj's for $$$ until FUGLY returns. This whole thing made me somewhat upset and I walked up to Boss Lady and told her that I think it is really fucked up that they allow this shit to go on when they know what FUGLY is about. It is obvious! How are the CLEAN girls supposed to make any money? FUGLY has put a damper on the club, for us girls that is. And I am not the only one that think so.
For management she is an asset, because they make money off her ugly and nasty ass. Although I hear that more and more guys have come to the realization what she is about and they are not happy about it. That will lead to them not wanting to come into the club when she is there. And that means less revenue for the club. I asked Boss Lady if the club is still a strip club or is it now a whorehouse? Because if it is a whorehouse I am in the wrong place.
If you are a whore then you should take your business to a more lucrative place, that would be my suggestion. Boss Lady asked me what I suggest she should do. I said fire the dirty girls.
She then said that she would have no dancers left if she did so, because according to her
90 % of us dancers are dirty and do extras (meaning stuff outside the club). I told her that I disagree. I know dancers that are clean and don't do stuff like that, that I know about at least. The she said that my friend that I brought to the club did. Oh......hmmmm......well, last summer I invited a girl that I used to be friends with to come and work here. She needed money badly so why not? Well, one night she got paid to leave the club with some guy.
She left and I didn't see her until the following evening at work (or maybe it was a few days later, I can't recall now). I was not involved in any of that whatsoever. Somehow management found out and they questioned me in the office whether she was a prostitute or not, saying that they could get in trouble with the law. I told them that I had no way of knowing what she was doing and that I was not responsible for any of her behavior at work, or outside for that matter. I am not responsible for another person after all. Besides, who says that she was having sex for money? But what I do find ironic in this whole deal is that they actually know what FUGLY is up to. If they are so worried about getting in hot water with the law around here they should hurry up and get rid of FUGLY and her friend The Bulldog. It is very obvious what they are doing.
One more thing. There is a guy that comes in almost every night. He is very nice and a few months ago he started getting dances with FUGLY. I stopped talking to him at that point because I consider him more like my friend and I so strongly dislike FUGLY and thought he was a moron to spend his money on her, like a desperate fool. Well, at the Christmas party we had at the club last month somebody took his wallet and emptied it on $ 1000. FUGLY was the only one that danced for him that evening and she even clawed through his wallet and helped herself to whatever she thought he owed her for the lap dances (TACKY). His wallet got found the following day, empty of money in a trash can in the bathroom. He thinks it was FUGLY that took his wallet but he can't prove it. It would not surprise me whatsoever because according to at least four other girls The Bulldog has been fired from the club more than once (I heard FIVE times) because she stole money or wallets from guys. And The Bulldog and FUGLY are "best friends".
I do not want to be associated with this kind of behavior in any shape or form. I am a dancer, not some kind of a low class hooker. Therefore I do not associate with FUGLY at all. Most girls in the club smile in her face and talk lots of bad things about her behind her back.
Me....I don't sit next to her and I only address her if absolutely necessary, the same goes for The Bulldog. Taking people's wallets, come on now! Doesn't the entertainment outside of the club pay enough?
To be fair here and to not be a hypocrite (I dislike hypocrites and strive to not be one myself)
I should say that yes.....dancers do leave the club for money sometimes. They get paid to hang out, not for sex. Usually in a place like Las Vegas, a city busy 24/7 where you can go gambling. I have many girlfriends that have gone gambling with guys after work for money.
I did this a few times buy never alone, I always went with a friend. And it's not as fun and uncomplicated as it seems, I definitely prefer going gambling with people that I know.
No strings attached and no hidden expectations.
You can read about one of those adventures here .
And I did make an attempt to do some private dancing outside of the club one time. I quickly realized that I had put myself in an awkward and weird situation, to be one on one with somebody like that. Not for me. You want to read about it? Here .

Some more new laws that I can relate to. In Illinois it is now illegal for the 18 and under to go to a tanning salon to work on a tan. Illinois is not the only state where it is illegal for minors to go to the tanning salon. I think that's good. I went to the tanning salon when I was a teenager and I regret that now. The last time I used a tanning bed was in 2006. If I could undo all the times I baked myself in a tanning bed I would. A total waste of money, time and so bad for your skin, you probably do know it could lead to skin cancer, hence the ban for minors to use tanning beds. I think it becomes somewhat of an addiction for some, to have some color.
It makes them feel like they look better and healthier and especially for women, the darker you are the thinner you appear plus imperfections are less noticeable on your skin. As a dancer I know this. Stuff is so much more visible on pale skin. Lucky me I don't have too much "stuff" that I am worried about. I now only tan outside and even then I don't want to burn myself. Although I do like it when I look bronzed and tan. Once in a while I will use a self tanner. I'm sure it's not that good either but probably safer than frying in a tanning bed.
I am glad I don't have those tanning bed wrinkles on my face that I see on so many girls.
I mean, who wants to look like Tanning Mom? That mixed with smoking cigarettes = premature wrinkle face. Even botox can't help you then.
Also in Illinois, if you get caught flicking a cigarette butt out of your car window you might get in some serious trouble. I think that's great. I'm sure other states already have laws that refer to that problem, if not they should. People that litter are gross, low class and selfish. At some point a person has to realize that littering (and yes, that includes cigarette butts) is wrong. And if that doesn't register with them then I do think that they low class and uneducated.
If you want to walk on the somewhat wilder side of life, at least commit some more interesting crimes. Rob a bank. Make counterfeit money. Cook your own meth. Just don't mess with children, animals, nature and innocent individuals.