Welcome to Chaos !!

I had a very happy day so far, now I am relaxing and feeling tired, thinking about taking a nap. I did errands earlier, me and Chhaya together, she got a new food but I will write about that tomorrow. It's Valentine's Day and I like this day, I think it's cute and gives people an extra push to show each other appreciation. I'm the kind of person that loves to show the people close to me that I care about them on a year round basis but still, Valentines' Day is nice.
So today I gave some chocolates to two people that have brighten my days with their presence. They did not expect it at all and seeing how happy they got made me really happy. Who are these people? Two ladies in town that work in two different places, they are always really nice and I just wanted to show them that I noticed and that I appreciate them. I also have some chocolates for the staff at Planned Parenthood but they are closed on Fridays. I think Planned Parenthood is great, they do so much more than perform abortions (contrary to what some people think) and they take a lot of negativity from persistent and angry zealots out there. Besides, I am pro choice and for women's rights. I don't need some crusty old dude to tell me what I should or shouldn't do with my body.
So, Happy Valentine's Day to you from me. I appreciate all my readers! HUGS! ❤







Look at this cute Hello Kitty with glasses! And I got a new book, Unlikely Loves by Jennifer S. Holland. I already have her other book, Unlikely Friendships and these books are amazing. Makes for great gifts too. Oh and chocolate, I love chocolate.

Some people are really particular about their laundry, like my friend Julia for example, laundry is one of her favorite things to do and she takes it seriously. I don't care for laundromats, kind of gross. Last time I went to one I saw a pubic hair on top of one of the washers.....like EWWWWWW! Well, I do my laundry at home now and last year I read some scary articles about all the toxins in fabric softeners, so I decided to make my own fabric softener. And I was sticking with it for a while but now I am cheating and add about 1/4 of store bought fabric softener to my homemade one, that I also add to the laundry detergent. I make it with warm water, baking soda, white vinegar and I also add some lemongrass esential oil.
If you pick up a bottle of Snuggle and look for the ingredients you can't find them, instead there is a number on the bottle that you can call to get the listings. Weird, huh? I read that you should avoid using fabric softeners and dryer sheets to launder children's bedding because of all the bad toxins. I don't have kids but I have Chhaya and she sleeps in my bed and I also wash her bed covers and I don't want to expose her to more toxins than necessary. Not to mention myself.
So I get a fabric softener from Bright Green and their detergent too. I also found a new detergent that I haven't tried yet, Method. On the bottle it says that the formula is 95% plant-based and biodegradable and the bottle itself is made from 50% post consumer recycled plastic. I like that. I have been recycling for a while now, I recycle all the glass bottles, all the cans and close to all the plastic that I use.
I try to make good choices when it comes to stuff like this and I want to keep my ecological footprint somewhat in the moderate levels. Everybody can do their share, you too! I'd say start with switching your detergents, softeners and cleaning products to some that are kinder for you and the environment. Some people wash their hair without shampoo, it's called
NO POO and I have been thinking about maybe doing that also, I have been reading about it lately. There is a ton of info about it online in case you want t go that route too.

Look at my two new additions to my faery collection. I LOVE them. I have all kinds of faeries and mermaids, most of them put away in boxes either here or Las Vegas. One day when I figure out where I am going to settle......all the stuff that I have will be unpacked and organized. My future home is going to be amazing, I know this.

I had a pretty bad headache yesterday, not sure if it was from second hand nicotine poisoning at work from the night before or if I just felt unwell in general. So I ate some more quinoa tacos, took an Excedrin and spent the night watching the Olympics and reading stuff online.
I love the Olympics! I especially loved the pink bodysuit that Aliona Savchenko had on. Absolutely gorgeous, the bodysuit and Aliona (I read that she designs her and her skating partners costumes - WOW!). I want a bodysuit like that for work! Super hot! Aliona, can you make me one just like yours, please? A while back bodysuits similar to Alionas were really popular in Vegas (at work), I had two. A purple one with a cutout on the stomach and a shiny black one with a laced up back, I always felt like a bad ass super heroine when I wore them. I should dig them up one day when I'm in Vegas and take a pic of them so you can see. Also popular were two pieces, as in a top with matching pants.....stripper style pants that is. I remember I had three pairs, light blue, dark silver and sheer black. Those were the days at Crazy Horse Too. I know there are a lot of ladies that think back of that club with fond memories.....
Speaking of the Olympics, Alionas partner Robin was really good looking too. But I wondered if she was really German since she is representing Germany and no, she was born in Ukraine. I also fell in love with the 15 year old Japanese Ayumu Hirano that won silver in the snowboard halfpipe, what a CUTIE!
A few sports I don't understand. Curling, luge and skeleton. What? Talk about crazy speed freaks the people that compete in luge and skeleton. I would had fainted if I had to do that. But if those (weird) sports are qualified to be in the Olympics I think that pole dancing should be too. I have seen some extremely talented girls on the pole, not the regular spins or upside down moves that every other dancer can pull off (not me, I suck on the pole) and some look totally clumsy doing it too. I am talking about the ones that really perform a great pole show, athletic and gracious. The top three in no particular order I have seen are Thumper (Crazy Horse Too), Tatiana (not me) Crazy Horse Too and Luxury (Fantasies). I would watch those girls and be amazed.


GORGEOUS!


Photo Ivan Sekretarev

It's going on one month now.....the not shaving my armpits. Why? Well, I am kind of making a statement. To myself and to anybody that cares to care. My worth as a human being, as a woman.....does NOT depend on whether men think I am "fuckable" or not. Frankly, I couldn't care less about what guys think of me. And I wish that I had realized this much earlier.
You know, when I was a teenager and I was worrying and obsessing about boys and stuff like that. Then I grew up and stopped caring as much.
I am completely aware of that I work in strip clubs and that 99.9% of the money that I make come from men. And I appreciate that. But when the occasional asshole wanders in and tells me loudly that he thinks I am rude/angry/not friendly enough/not this/not that/should smile more/too skinny/too tall/too standoffish/demands my phone number/demands other stuff and bla bla bla I am absolutely going to put my foot down and tell him to shut the fuck up basically. My integrity is priceless, I have said that many times now. I can always make money as a dancer. A few assholes here and there won't make any difference in my wallet.
Therefore I refuse to sit there, quietly with a forced smiled plastered across my face like "a nice girl" and take any form of abuse. I work on MY terms. Oh and believe me, I know how to stand up for myself!
As far as shaving goes. I don't know how brainwashed I am when it comes to that, I'm sure that I am to some degree. I shave, trim and pluck and have done so for a long time, before I started dancing. I personally think that trimming and shaving is cleaner. And that goes for men too. But that's my opinion and it is totally OK if some hairy never shaved woman reads this and doesn't agree. I won't dislike her or judge her for it. I have looked into the history of shaving and it goes back to thousands of years BC.....both sexes have used all kinds of tools (like seashells and flint blades) to get rid of or alter body hair. It's actually quite interesting to read about it.
So I have been going in to work with my hairy pits and proudly announcing that they are hairy and showing them off to everybody. The reactions have been mixed. One of the girls I work with thinks it's sexy. Damn right it is! I think I can safely say that shaving amongst girls and women is very widespread and mainstream in the US. It's more like that you SHOULD shave here and if girls don't start taking care of their body hair at an early age they risk being bullied by their peers. Unless you are home schooled or Amish. That's just wrong. To get bullied because you don't shave your legs or armpits? So very sad and very wrong.
I don't know how long I am going to keep my hairy pits. I might keep it up for a while or I might shave. The point is.....I do whatever I want with my body. If you don't like it.....oh well.

I got up at 7 this morning, had something to do. And while waiting for the light to turn green at a busy intersection about an hour later, watching all the traffic in the cold dark morning......it struck me again. It is way too early to have to do anything at that time.
Work should not start earlier than 9 am.....unless you do something that is so important that it can't wait. Like care for the sick. Besides that, office work, stores, school......no earlier than 9. I remember my school days, I absolutely hated getting up early. I guess I love my sleep.
I am back in bed now and I am going to go back to sleep soon. Chhaya does not like getting up early either.
So I spent last night watching the last episode of Breaking Bad. What am I supposed to do now? I guess there is more.....I am not clear on that though.....but from what I understand more episodes will be available on Netflix later this month. I hope so, because ending it with Hank sitting on the toilet in Walters house with that book in his lap, dedicated to WW.....that can't be the end, right?
I did make it to work Friday night. Left the place with a feeling of......WTF, is this place even REAL? To sum it up, the club is basically a psychotic, unprofessional drug den. I got subjected to (unwillingly) a drunk dude that in his own loud words was a "redneck asshole". Indeed he was. Most other clubs (most, not all) would had told the redneck asshole to shut up or get the fuck out. But this place values the redneck assholes more than the few quality girls they have working there. And I am not into being around redneck assholes, no thanks. I prefer people with manners and class. I think back to Vinny and John, the two managers at Crazy Horse Too in Vegas and how professional they were, always. That club could have 400 girls a night, some nights presented lots of drama and a very busy club but management never flinched, no tantrums, always professional, nicely dressed, no need for yelling or throwing things around.
I also immersed myself completely in a new book. Some German author I never read before, Nele Neuhaus, now I need her latest book. And I made quinoa tacos two days in a row. Delicious and very good for you. You need some tortillas, I prefer flour. I stuffed the tortillas with quinoa, avocado, fried onion, salsa and sour creme. Yum.
What else? I now have hairy armpits. More on that later. I am going to sleep now.