Welcome to Chaos !!

I spent a few hours outside by the fire last night. So cozy! Me and Chhaya cuddled on a blanket and I had on a large hoodie but my feet were bare, keeping my feet close to the fire kept them warm. We watched the stars gradually emerge, one after another until the sky was dark and lit up by stars. Gorgeous!





Today I got sad and cried. 😥 Got some bad news. Something I have been wanting and hoping for did not go my way. NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I'm not sick, everything is OK so nothing really bad happened. But I still feel sadness inside and like I've been punched in the stomach.

If you are an easily grossed out person or under the impression that women have no bodily functions I suggest you skip this entry........Still reading? Good!
Soooooo.......first of all, I love to joke around and laugh. I get easily bored and to make my hours that sometimes feel like torture, inside of the local club here go by faster I make it more enjoyable by at least attempting to have fun. It often gets boring here, it's a small club and I see the same people (girls and guys) every night. YAAAAAAWN! We have same guys that come in EVERY night, they are very nice but duh, I get bored OK. Since I am completely sober at work I have to entertain myself the old fashioned way - with humor.
So the other night when I got off the stage and stood by my locker I caught a glimpse of something on top of the lockers behind me. I recognized it was one of the small red baskets that we use to put our money in when getting off stage and I immediately got Boss Lady so she could take it and try to locate the owner (fellow dancer). When Boss Lady grabbed it we both saw a black pair of underwear laying on top of the dollar bills with a stain of some sort in the crotch area. Of course I thought this was HILARIOUS.......Boss Lady was less amused.



I wanted to put out a loud announcement over the speakers that money and some dirty undies had been found and that the owner could come to the office and pick up her belongings but no, I was not allowed to do that. In fact I was told not to put this on the blog but COME ON now......it's FUNNY! Actually I was told that if I do put it on my blog that the Big Boss will say those were my undies. ICH DON'T THINK SO honey!!! I only wear pretty Honey Dews at work, don't you know this by now? Those are clearly not Honey Dews and I am currently not on my period. And none of my Honey Dews that I use at work have stains like THAT one in the crotch. Plus, I don't leave money behind and forget about it. So NO, those do not belong to me. SORRY! Or actually I'm not sorry......I'm amused!
It ended up being $30 in that basket that nobody claimed so Boss Lady put it towards the no kill shelter collection that is now up to $185 I am happy to say. I found a $20 bill on the floor Friday night that I donated to the collection. Boss Lady threw away the panties, I was disappointed because I wanted to take a better pic of them. Plus perhaps attempt to sell them to some used and stained panties lover and got more $$$ for the no kill shelter.
So before we jump into any conclusions about what that stain might be we should look at all the possibilities......
It could be a water rust stain, I heard a commercial about it on the radio driving home the other night. The water here is rich in iron and can leave rust colored stains on your clothes. So that's a possible explanation. It might be a remnant of some ketchup. Or an old blood stain that did not wash out from a past period. Or some fresh period, vaginal leak, or maybe a backhole leak. Crotch make up? Self tanner? I mean, I did not closely inspect or smell the panties or take a specimen sample or anything.....so it could be anything.
Nevertheless, somebody took those off ON STAGE in front of other people. VERY NICE!
You gotta love a "I don't give a fuck" attitude!
Speaking of stained panties. I DO have stained panties too, although clean (as in laundered) stained panties, if that makes sense to you, at home that I use when I am on my period.
The bottom drawer is full of thongs and fullbacks for when I'm on my period and the other two drawers are filled with my nice undies. A pair of Hanky Pankys (what I usually prefer during the day) might cost $20 and I'm not going to possibly ruin several nice pairs every time I'm on my period. Or my beautiful pink silk Damaris knickers that I bought at Harrod's in London. Or any of my other cute panties.



Meanwhile from a different part of the country, while I was finding stained underwear at work, Mandy got tipped this on stage, a stack of bills equaling $100. NICE! She called it "being bricked".



She made good money every night she worked in a club she traveled to. It was busy and easy to get dances. And the lap dances are MONITORED and NO TOUCHING is allowed. How nice to hear! You want to know where she went? I'm not telling. I don't need a plethora of thirsty dancers, con artists and hookers show up there and ruin the place with their dirty hustle bullshit.
All clubs should be no touching, it would be very interesting to see how some dancers would do in a club like that? I'm so over watching girls do gross stuff during their dances. BARF!
Another entertaining story from Mandy. She got told that a while ago two girls in that club got into a physical scuffle with each other. The fight rolled out from the dressing room onto the main floor and when the bouncer grabbed one of them and lifted her up by the armpits......she pooped herself! I would had paid $5 to see that!
So one girl I work with dances to a song called "Truffle Butter". The dj Dusty asked me if I know what that means......I was like, ummmmm no, some kind of a delicacy it sounds like? Truffles fried in butter perhaps? No, it's something else. I thought it was very funny once I found out the meaning of it (of course) so now me and a few other girls yell truffle butter loudly at work for no apparent reason. Call it a temporary outburst of Tourettes.
My Tourettes and my ADHD comes out in full effect at work, especially when it's boring.
My new song to dance to is Marilyn Manson's "Third Day Of A Seven Day Binge". Love it! I am thinking about adding Manson's "Deep Six" and "Style" by Taylor Swift. I love that song (Style) but not sure about if for work, I have to try it out and see. Not all songs that I like to listen to on the radio while driving or at home are suitable for work. But I love that song, especially the beginning......so pretty!
"Midnight, You come and pick me up, no headlights
A long drive,
Could end in burning flames or paradise
Fade into view, oh, it's been a while since I have even heard from you (heard from you)"

I used to dance to a lot of Rihanna songs but too many other girls dance to her songs and I don't want to dance to the same songs as the other girls in the club that night. Although I still LOVE Rihanna, got her pics in my lockers.

I am having one of those grateful days this August 1st. A day when I am so happy and thankful for everything. I am grateful for my mostly uncomplicated and peaceful life, that I have food in the fridge and a safe and beautiful place to call home. I just finished dinner and Chhaya is resting, belly full after dinner too, on her bed in the doorway. The front door is wide open and the sun is shining feeling nice and warm on my bare legs. I'm going to put some croissants in the oven and enjoy them with some butter and Nutella. Try that if you haven't already. You will love it!



I have the nicest barista ever at Coffee Roasters since a while now. She is great. It's a pleasure to go in there when she is working. She gave me this now crumbled up muffin to take home and feed to "my" birds today. I have forbidden (don't take it literally please) her to throw away the day old left over muffins and scones when I'm around because I know that the birds I feed will enjoy every bite. I don't like to waste good food.



The other day when I was walking with Chhaya I saw a rainbow but I couldn't take a picture because my phone was low on battery. Yesterday I was watering the lawn and created my own rainbow. And had my phone handy.



There was a really bad accident on the Seward Highway outside Girdwood yesterday.
One person dead and a few critically injured. So sad. That is a scary stretch of road to drive, very scenic and beautiful but also scary. I'm thinking about how quickly life can change from normal to tragedy. I feel bad for everybody affected in yesterdays accident. I sometimes worry that something will happen to me. Then what about Chhaya? And who will tell my Mom? So yes, I am grateful......so grateful for my life, for every day that I live healthy and unharmed. Have a safe and happy weekend everyone! ❤
My personal safety driving rule is to keep a distance between my car and the vehicle in front of me. I always do that. I get very uncomfortable if following too close.

And here we go......August has arrived, hello August! The last month of the summer so make the best of it! When I was driving home the sun was slowly starting to peek over the horizon and a beautiful moon was still hanging in the sky. I can see that we are having another gorgeous day today, at least here. So enjoy!

So this meme is making rounds on the world wide web. I got into a discussion about it yesterday.
FIRST and FOREMOST, it's a MEME! People put up memes on Facebook like it's the absolute truth, it's a meme so it must be true right? Hello......NEWSFLASH! NO. All it is is a meme, nothing else. Although I think discussion is good. I like hearing people's opinions, sometimes I learn something and other times I'm like WTF?!
So whoever made this meme thinks that Heath Ledger as the Joker is a suitable background for the topic, I don't see the connection myself (did not watch the movie, so maybe I'm missing the point) but whatever.
Also whoever made this meme is under the impression that nobody cares that Planned Parenthood supposedly sells aborted fetuses and/or parts of aborted fetuses. I'm pretty sure people do care, I have read a few articles on the subject. Heard it discussed on a radio show and saw at least one petition against Planned Parenthood in this matter. So people care.
BUT Cecil the lion and Planned Parenthood are two completely different issues. I get upset on a daily basis when I read the news and see what people do to each other, animals and the planet we all share. So this meme to me makes no sense.
Why is Cecil the lion important? Well, human beings will cause the extinction of animals (already have) and the demise of this planet (working on it) if we continue the way we do. Most of us are driven by ego, so am I. I am no exception. I want and I need, I consume and I discard. But up until the last day human beings will continue to reproduce like there is no tomorrow. I believe the planet is overpopulated but I guess it doesn't matter, right?
The lion was living in a protected park, he was lured out by bait, shot and injured. Suffered for almost two days and nights before put out of his misery. Beheaded and his body just left there.....to rot. Somebody paid a lot of money for this "pleasure". Somebody that takes great pleasure in hunting for trophy animals. If you look into some other stuff this guy has been accused of you will see that he doesn't seem to be a nice person at all. Of course people are upset and I think rightfully so.
Now to Planned Parenthood. Are they selling fetuses and fetus parts? I don't know, I have not looked into this issue in depth but from what I understand at least one clinic did. Where do these aborted babies go? Is it legal or not? Conflicting reports are coming out daily. I don't think the parts are getting sold as food to some people interested in exotic dishes or as something somebody will put on display in a jar in their living room. If anything it must be for medical research purposes? Organ or tissue donations? Correct me if I am wrong, please do. Medical research that might somehow benefit even the strongest anti Planned Parenthood advocates or their own families in the future. What else do they do with the fetuses you think? Pick them apart and sell them for fun?
I am pro choice. There are laws and regulations regarding abortion. If men could have babies I am certain that abortions would not be as much as a heated issue. Now pay attention to the word PLANNED. Exactly how you should view having children, they should be PLANNED.
Too many people just have sex, oooops get pregnant and now you have a baby! No plan on how to care for this baby. Perhaps the welfare office can help? Then maybe have more babies and just become a welfare queen. Life is good, yeay!
I am a strong advocate for population control. If that was the law people would perhaps take having kids more seriously. Plus, why should taxpayers pay for people's "mistakes"? I also think that people on welfare, men and women should not be allowed to reproduce.
Maybe difficult to regulate cause people have sex but yeah......if you are collecting welfare you should not be allowed to have kids. It only makes sense. If other people (tax payers) support you because you can't do it yourself for whatever reason, then WHY is having kids at that time in your life a good idea? It's not.
If abortions were illegal women would still have them. They do in countries were abortions are illegal. It's often dangerous and many women get seriously injured, even die from the complications. Also, WHY should a woman that got raped, even a little girl (child) that got raped and ended up pregnant because of the rape be forced to go through with the pregnancy? Who are you to decide what a woman should do with her body? Of course there should be regulations, which there are, regarding abortion. I do not think abortion should be used as a form of birth control. If somebody goes in for several abortions then perhaps a sterilization should be suggested, discussed and even enforced. Men that are sperm donors to several kids that they do not take care of should get sterilized. Again, PLANNED is the word here. Also if abortions were illegal just think about how many unwanted and uncared for children that you and me would end up having to pay for. There are already so many, too many, unwanted, abused, molested and neglected children here in the US. Some of them get so badly abused that they die form their injuries. Who speaks for them? Perhaps if they had been wanted and planned they would be treated differently?
In Ceausescu's Romania abortions were illegal (with some exceptions). Thousands of children ended up in orphanages (still do) because they were unwanted or could not be cared for. They ended up in orphanages were they stopped growing, they stunted in their development because they did not receive human touch. Children crave human touch and interaction, it's a basic need just like food. Those children suffered, physical and sexual abuse were not uncommon. How is that justified? Get pregnant (perhaps because you either do not believe in birth control, or birth control is illegal or viewed as sinful or abortions are illegal) and then abandon your baby to an orphanage were it will get minimal attention, maybe get abused. What happens to those children when they grow up? Unwanted kids get trafficked, used for sex. And people are horrified that some women have abortions. Think about the bigger picture instead of focusing on abortion and that it might be wrong because the Bible says so. If you are not willing to save all the unwanted children yourself, clothe them, feed them, raise them and provide for them then I suggest you stop pontificating about the Bible and sin.
To me it's a bigger sin to give birth and abandon your baby (unless you arrange for a proper adoption) or give birth and then abuse and/or neglect your child. To me it's also a bigger sin to be a sperm donor and not care for your children. It's also a bigger sin to stand outside Planned Parenthood and shoot (yes, SHOOT with a gun) at the people that work there.
By 1993 marital rape became a crime in all 50 states. Back in the no so distant past a man could demand sex from his wife, rape her and that was fine.The Duggars parents teaches their daughters to never say no to their husband when the guy wants sex. They are a fine church going family that strongly believes in God, as we all know by now. Is that something that you want to teach your daughter? That she has no free will over her OWN body?
Let's say I was married and wanted to penetrate my husband with a zucchini on a weekly basis and he said no but I tackled him and raped his anus. Would that be OK because we are legally wed? Of course not. You are not somebody's property when you get married.
Nobody has the right to rape you and nobody should have the right to decide whether a woman is allowed to have an abortion or not. It's her body and her choice.
I am glad that people all over the world have paid so much attention to what happened to Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe. Soon there will be no more lions if people do not change their attitudes regarding wildlife and trophy hunting and just killing animals for fun. Yeaaaay........it's so much fun to go and shoot defenseless animals! BARF, shoot yourself will ya?
That does not mean that those same people that care about what happened to Cecil do not care about children and abortions. A meme saying so does not make it the truth.

I am pro choice and against trophy hunting.

How do you feel about chores? Maybe you have maid service and don't do any? I don't think I could ever have a maid but never say never. But the thought of a stranger cleaning my fridge, bathroom, changing my sheets, doing my laundry and putting it away freaks me out a bit.
I'm rather particular about my cleaning and want it done a certain way. When I stay in hotels I do not let the maid in, ever. If I need towels and sheets I go and ask for whatever item I need and take care of the cleaning myself. I don't like people I don't know touching my things.
So today I did a few loads......lucky you, it's laundry with Tati time!



First of all, you need a clean washer and dryer. If you have a washer and dryer at home that is. If you don't and use public laundromats it's not easy to know how clean the place is.
When I used to do my laundry in laundromats I would always take a quick whiff of the washer machine before throwing my clothes inside. If it ever smelled bad I would pick a different machine. Laundromats are kind of gross I think but I have used them plenty of times, sometimes you just don't have a choice.
When I lived in Anchorage I did not have a washer and dryer in my apartment for example.
Anyhow, so if you DO have said appliances at home - make sure they are clean. It doesn't make sense to try to get something cleaned in a crusty washer machine full of hair, crumbs and sticky residue. Then pick some good detergent and fabric softener. I have used Mrs. Meyer's detergents since January. I used to make my own softener by mixing water with white vinegar, baking soda and lemongrass essential oil. But lately I have been using Seventh Generation. Sometimes a mix of part of Seventh Generation softener and my own home made softener concoction. Read up about softeners like Downy, they are supposedly full of toxins. Try to get "good" products if you can. Well, that's my advice. If you simply don't care then that's fine too I guess. Just don't poison your kids with that stuff, if you have kids that is. Keep the pets in mind too.
So......this is how I do my laundry. I wash all my clothes, except socks and underwear, in cold water. Socks and underwear share a load and are always washed in hot water. Towels, sheets and pillowcases share a load and are always washed in hot water too. All my other clothes like shirts, leggings, jeans, hoodies etc are washed in cold water. Occasionally I hand wash a delicate item like a shirt. My lingerie for work gets hand washed and hung to try. I hang dry most of my clothing. I do put in certain items in the dryer for air fluff then hang to dry.
Towels and bedding and some socks (not all) go in the dryer. After a load of socks and underwear I always run an empty load with hot water and bleach or hot water and vinegar and baking soda. Always. And I don't mix certain items. Like underwear and towels. No. Jeans and shirts almost always a no but jeans and hoodies can mix. Bathroom rugs and rugs in general (if you wash those at home) never mix with other articles. I once visited a friend, without asking she decided to wash my brand new hoodie that was clean too I should add. She stuffed it into a washer full of other dirty stuff like a hallway rug!
I was like, "WTF!!!!!?" So gross! Anyhow, that was laundry with Tati my friends!




Oh and I don't iron. If you hang dry you don't have to. Ironing seems like the biggest waste of time. But then again, I don't work in an office type setting where perhaps you have to show up wearing ironed shirts and slacks.