My Friend Passed Away

My friend Richard passed away a few days ago. I have not been around a lot of death so I am still processing that I will not see his sparkly kind happy blue eyes again, not see his smile, hear his voice, have interesting conversations or joke around with him. No more. ? He was a wonderful man and his passing was sudden and unfair.
I met Richard at work. We became good friends. I looked forward to seeing him walk through the door because he was fun to be around. He had lived an interesting life, quite known around Portland because he accomplished a lot. He was ALWAYS nice, a true gentleman.
The first time back to work after his passing was difficult. Just knowing that he was not sitting in his usual spot with a smile on his face was not an easy thing to accept. There were tears. Many of my coworkers are saddened by his passing.
Yesterday I went to The Grotto here in Portland and lit two candles. One of those candles was for Richard.
Walking through The Grotto I asked God and in case you wonder, I consider myself spiritual not religious....I asked God to please keep me if I get to go to a place after my life here on Earth is done. I do not want to come back here because there is too much suffering and misery on Earth and it makes me sad. I just want to be with Chhaya after I die. And all my other pets that I have loved. Family and true friends would be nice too. I just don't want to come back to Earth.



Today I lit a candle for my friend Richard here at work. The locomotives represent his passion in life. You are truly missed my friend. ❤️



And the unfair thing about this whole thing.....and this is my personal belief AND other peoples as well. Richard was healthy until he got the J&J vaccine. After that, things went downhill fast and he got several blood clots that in turn led to other complications. It makes me feel so sad, angry and helpless that a person with so much more life to live and so many things to look forward to had to live out his last days in mental agony and probably physical pain too, knowing that had he not taken that vaccine most likely he would had been here today. He thought he was doing the "right" thing....you know the "do your part thing" that we get bombarded with, pressured into.....yeah well it didn't work out so great for my friend did it?
The vaccine, the ones who got it and the ones who have not is a big controversy right now. There are several reports linking the J&J vaccine to blood clots. I guess these things don't really matter until somebody you personally know passes from complications. Do not be so harsh towards the ones that have not take the vaccine. I have not. I am not anti vaccine. But I am holding off. I am not judging the ones who got the vaccine. I get it. People want to do the right thing.