My Glamorous Life

I'm laying here on my twin size air mattress that is situated in the living room, some laundry is drying, I have three more loads to do but that might have to wait until tomorrow because it's getting late. I just finished eating chips and salsa in "bed" or shall I say on my air mattress.
My day was spent doing errands, I did get a lot accomplished and that felt good.
I also picked up a bunch of dog poop in the park to make up for the other day when Chhaya pooped there but I did not have a doggie poop bag in my pocket to pick it up. I get like that.....I need to make up for stuff or I feel guilty. Last night I was so tired that I fell asleep with my make up on. It happened the other night too (tired again). I washed my face when I woke up today and said to myself that I will never again fall asleep with my make up on but yeah, it will most likely happen again. Does it really matter? Probably not. I like to take care of my skin though, moisturize and stuff. I have important stuff to take care of that I don't want to deal with, faxes to send and phone calls to make. My loan on my town home here in Las Vegas that I "own", really the bank owns the place (that is REALITY), is ridiculous. The place is not worth even close to what I bought it for.....I was very uneducated, naive and stupid (great combo) when I decided to purchase this place and trusted real estate agents and lenders thinking they had my best interest in mind.....HA HA did I learn my lesson! Now I'm sitting here wondering what the hell happened and why? Wishing I had never made the decision to buy any real estate then but I did.
I need to sweep the garage, scrub the patio, mop the kitchen floor. The truck needs an oil change. My body needs a long massage. For some weird reason I have broken four glass bottles in the last month, by accident of course. I can't recall the last time I broke a bottle (have I ever?) and I managed to break FOUR in a few weeks. Two ice tea bottles in my kitchen alone (the other two outside), I just picked up the glass and put a towel over the spilled tea......I need to mop but I don't feel like it. Maybe I'll mop tomorrow. I've read that many people don't like getting emails from people they know because it means that they have to answer.....just one more thing added on the to do list. I find that sad, how freaking disconnected people are getting. I recall when I used to write letters to my friends, you know hand written letters. I still do birthday cards and Thank You cards or smaller notes, I got two cards today for upcoming birthdays. Now it's text messages since so many people don't like to talk on the phone (I'm not one of them, I prefer talking actually) or Facebook messages (even those are difficult for some to respond to) or even better and easier just "likes" on Facebook, anything else is too time consuming for most. People seem to keep in touch less and less and friendships, some of the most precious things one can have, dry up and die. Liking something on Facebook is not keeping in touch, in case you didn't know that.



Speaking of Facebook, everybody knows that people lie on Facebook aka Fakebook (if you don't believe me, look it up). I understand some lies, to protect your identity etc, I lie like that too. But people lie about books they haven't read, saying they read them just to appear more......more what? Interesting? Or posting all kinds of fabricated and exaggerated stuff to make their friends and families jealous. I think that is disgusting, to try to make others jealous on purpose. There is no excuse for that unless you are a child or an immature teenager.
And what friends are we talking about exactly? The handful of REAL friends that they have that can see through that utter bullshit, because the real friends know the TRUTH (HA HA) or the hundreds of fake friends people gather to desperately appear more popular than they are. When people ask me if I have Facebook I say no, or that I only have it for my few friends (REAL ones) and family because that is the truth. It's nothing personal but my Mom is my Facebook friend, my brother and my cousins and people that have known me since I was seven years old......I don't need much more than that on there, plus a handful of other people that I consider friends that I actually spent time with in real life. I have no need in collecting 'friends". I would never post anything to try to make somebody jealous, here on the blog or on Facebook. I don't put up a whole lot on Facebook anyways, the blog is what gets it all.
I've noticed that nobody wants to get engaged too much in anything serious on Facebook, it's a rather shallow level on there and that's fine with me. Sometimes I don't go in there for weeks. Here I can write on and on about women and Islam, animal cruelty and assholes in general. Vent about work. Praise Burning Man.
I'm excited because I have a new whole list of books that I want. Books that look very promising! Some people like reading, others don't. I need to read, I love it. A while back somebody criticized me in a comment here on the blog asking me why I had not read 1984 by George Orwell yet. I could had lied.....LOL....and said "but of course I've read it and bla bla bla". Actually my intention was to get it and bring it to Burning Man this year (I had a vision of me reading 1984 during my morning latte time in Center Camp) but that did not happen. I got it after Burning Man and it is now in my possession and I am saving it for next years Burning Man. I don't mind critique, I can take it. I might listen if it's valid but if it's just dumb shit then I won't care. Like, you think I'm a bitch for example. OK, great.....good for you plus HIGH FIVE and YES I am a bitch (proudly so may I add), probably one of the most honest bitches you will ever know. Trust me, if I have something bad to say about you behind your back you already know it because I have told you to your face. I don't pretend.
Back to books, I am about to re read Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay. It's a GREAT book, I highly recommend it. And I've got the latest issue of Adbusters today just so I can think even more about what a meaningless and shallow life I live......I need to do something of true meaning soon.



Back to my life, my glamorous life, or not so glamorous.....I'm trying to be as honest as possible here on the blog about it. I will write about sadness, difficult times, tears, that I sometimes don't want to get up out of bed and start my day because I feel a heavy anxiety in my chest, outbreaks on my butt, ingrown hairs but also when I am happy and feel alive, when I have something exciting to tell or show, even if it's a new nail polish. My thoughts and opinions. Having said that.....I might not, actually I won't share EVERYTHING, some things are private. BUT I am not going to make up stuff or make stuff sound better than it is just to try to make people "jealous".....no, I'm not lame like that.
Right now I am sleeping on an air mattress and my stuff has been in a suit case and bagged up in various bags for months. I've been living out of a suit case and plastic bins for almost a year. Most of my stuff is packed up. I have mostly been re using the same clothes for a year not bothering digging in the bins for what I packed away. I don't even know what I have anymore. Well, I did put some of my clothes in my closet today, I had to organize the suitcase and the bins. Half of the contents of my suitcase were mixed up on the floor for days, hence the laundry this evening. I got new cute socks today too.



What else can I share? Hmmmmm.......well, besides all of the stuff I already told you I still have a runny nose and a throat full of mucous. But in general I feel happy but a bit overwhelmed with too many responsibilities and too much on my own to do list. I need to rest and sleep and get well. I am meeting up with some friends the next couple of days and I'm looking forward to that. I miss my friends in Sweden......for some reason they don't lie on their Facebook, how strange......really not strange at all, it's Sweden after all. I need to pee right now and I will wash my face tonight. Goodnight!