Tumor

I am sitting at Madhouse Coffee killing time while Chhaya is getting an eyelid tumor (from my understanding) frozen and taken off her eyelid. Horrible! Poor baby! I noticed some stringy eye discharge coming out from her eye a while ago. I thought it would go away by itself, then I though maybe it was a sty (yes, dogs can get those) but it's an eyelid tumor. Tumor sounds scary but it's not as bad as it sounds, more uncomfortable and of course scary because Chhaya needs to be put under anesthesia which makes me very nervous. Plus I can't be there with her and that too makes me nervous. I don't like people handling her because I simply do not trust others to care for her the way I care for her. We met with the eye specialist yesterday, a very knowledgeable man that I am confident knows what he is doing. But I was crying basically the whole time I was in the office, not bawling loudly but my tears kept coming and I can't help it, my heart aches when I feel Chhaya is not doing well or has to go to the vet. I dropped her off this morning and I will be picking her up later this afternoon. I have to say that I am so impressed with how brave and good she is.
Having strangers poke in your eyes with fingers, instruments, ph sticks and getting eye drops all while enduring it without any fuss. I love Chhaya so much, I can't even put it in words.
So I'm just waiting.......sigh......