Welcome to Chaos !!

I worked last night and scraped together $56 but I'm still happy. Mandy thinks that I am wasting my time and getting the life sucked out of me, I KNOW and I agree but I can't possibly travel all the time, I just can't. I have Chhaya. Half of the time I go into work here it's a waste of my time and it's also so completely unmotivating that I don't even try to make money. Because there is nobody to make it from or the way some girls make their money is just not how I make money. But I am not going to live off my savings. Although it's a waste of my time I usually have FUN.
Have you ever seen a strip club mistletoe? We have one.....it's a pair of panties and a tampon. And no, I did not hang it there, although that is my kind of humor......and no, it's not a used tampon. We are a classy place after all!



Would you like to make a NEW BREAST FRIEND? Instead of a best friend you can make a breast friend!



Talking on the couch with my friend Grady, he comes in almost every night to say HI, he is part of the furniture in the place.



I'm thinking tonight can't get any worse that $56 so I'm going to give it a try again.

I got a strong craving for huevos rancheros this afternoon, so I stopped by Maria's where they make a very spicy huevos dish with lots of jalapenos and green hot salsa, very good. Then I went home, skipped the gym and thought I would go running instead but it just started raining. A real downpour, a repeat from yesterday......I was out walking with Chhaya and the sun was shining and then all of a sudden the sky opened up and it started raining hard.



Earlier today I saw a fallen leaf.....then I spotted some more. Is fall creeping up on us? Already? To fast, to soon.



It looks like the rain is about to stop, I need to take Chhaya out and perhaps I will squeeze in a 30 minute run before work tonight.

I dragged my unmotivated and lazy self to the gym yesterday, it had been a while. There was a new feature added at the gym, on one wall there are a few panic buttons hanging now that you can use if you feel it's needed. You know, these panic buttons are for when Justin Bieber or Bradley Cooper and other incredible hot men decide to visit Kenai and work out at the gym here. Girls and women turn into screaming banshees when we see hotness like that and can't contain ourselves. Justin would definitely need a panic button and from the looks of it, he has been living at the gym lately.....looking good Justin! Although I find Bradley much more SEKSI.
Since the gym is now open 24/7 and not staffed after a certain hour they added the panic buttons. And in case anyone missed the joke/sarcasm earlier......duh.....these panic buttons are there for women. Yep. You don't have to be a whorish porn star (see my previous entry if you don't understand what I mean by this statement) or stripper that's asking for it, to feel safer with a panic button at the gym. Cause let me tell you.....I don't see many strippers and porn stars working out at the gym here, we're not in Vegas after all. Nope, just normal women. Normal women that might possibly encounter some sort of an altercation at the gym, hence the panic buttons. For some strange reason I don't see a woman deciding to pounce on some sweaty guy lifting weights at the gym, rip his clothes of and rape him, no I can't picture that.....unless it's Bradley Cooper.
So to all the morons out there saying that women get what they deserve if they get abused by a husband or boyfriend because he was provoked in some kind of way, let me have a few minutes with you. I will feel provoked to slap you around Polish style with a piping hot frying pan and send you on your way, hopefully a little less moronic than you were to begin with.
So women that get raped by a complete stranger deserve it too, right? Whatever. It's time for me to get up and go get my latte now......Maybe gym again later?

After way too many errands in the afternoon, all I wanted was to come home to my book and some ice cream. I have a new fave flavor since a few months. I used to get a pomegranate ice cream at Whole Foods in Vegas that I absolutely loved, this one is not too bad either.
Thought I would work tonight, planned on it but when 7 pm came I felt tired, unmotivated and somewhat sad. I think I have a slight bout of PMS going on right now. I don't want to do anything and I miss Sweden and my friends SO much! And Chhaya is going bonkers as well. Last night she really scared me.....around 3 am or so she started whining and panting. First I thought she was sick, then I took her out twice and both times she stared off into the trees around the house with her heckles raised. I was convinced that some weirdo was lurking in the forest so I went outside with a flashlight but didn't see anything. Chhaya would not stop acting weird so I was scared and slept with my gun close to me. Then tonight when it got dark she got weird again. Well, I now suspect that it's probably her hormones. She will have her heat soon, that's what it is. Great......my Chhaya wants to run away and mate. Not happening.



So......back to the porn star drama surrounding Christy Mack and the severe beating that she most likely got from her ex or current boyfriend War Machine (innocent until proven guilty) that as I'm writing this is still on the run from the police, arrest warrant has been issued.
So, there are some inconsistencies to the story. Like why would she put up pics of them together looking in love on her Instagram when now in fact she claims he broke up with her back in May? Then other reports say she broke it off with him. He put on Twitter that he came over to surprise her with an engagement ring and there was another man in her house.
A surprise at 4 am? Well, it's Vegas after all, I would go grocery shopping at 4 am in Vegas, so why not surprise somebody with a proposal at that time? But then who proposes if you are broken up? And where is that other person (some reports say there was one guy in the house with Christy other reports say two) who got beat up also, some guy? How come he is not saying anything (yet)? Did they call the police as soon as the first person got hit by War Machine or did the police get notified after Christy supposedly ran and got help from a neighbor? But I am sure I did stuff in my prior relationships that made NO SENSE whatsoever to bystanders. Sometimes you say stuff and act crazy, in the moment. Looking back now, I know it didn't make any sense but it did then. HOWEVER, Christy got SEVERELY beaten.....
I can't even imagine getting that kind of treatment. Many broken bones, teeth missing, hair chopped off, ruptured liver from punches or kicks, bruises. He could had killed her. And what REALLY upsets me are the complete MORONS chiming in on this. Oh, that's what you get if you do porn, would had never happened if she was an accountant, the whore deserved it etc etc, nasty comments like that. Really now???!
If I am not mistaken the majority of women in the US that get beaten and murdered get beaten and murdered by either a current significant other, meaning husband or boyfriend or an ex husband or boyfriend. Many women and children live in fear of domestic abuse, physical and mental on a daily basis. Yes. How many of those women are porn stars that deserve that kind of treatment cause they are whores anyways? Not many I can say with certainty. Most of them are probably regular girls and women. Not that a woman in the sex industry deserves this, ABSOLUTELY NOT. That would be like somebody saying I deserve to get murdered or beaten cause I am a dancer. You can do porn, be a dancer (stripper), live in a trailer, be a homeless bum, shoot heroin and guess what......BE A GOOD and KIND HUMAN BEING! That is all that matters!!!! You can also be highly educated, live a certain lifestyle, have a "good" job and be a complete evil asshole. Christy did not deserve this at all. I wish somebody would start this discussion with me in real life, about that "whores" deserve this.
I would rip them a new asshole real quick. And what's a whore anyways? What about the men that pay for sex or watch porn? How are they better than the women that do porn or sell their bodies? I know exactly what I do for a living but let me tell you, I have more class, poise and intelligence than many of the people I encounter, the same people that talk bad about me behind my back when they don't even know me. Yeah, I think I know who you are. SAY IT TO MY FACE IF YOU DARE BITCH (and that goes for men and women). People with too many stereotypes that they blindly believe in are just too narrow minded for me. Before you talk about me and my scandalous ways, look at your own lousy and trashy behavior, doing stuff I would never do. WHY? Because I am too good and too everything that you aren't. I love myself actually.
Now that I've said all of that, I'm going to read my book some more. I hope Christy is going to recover soon.

It's past 2 am and I am up and wide awake. I heard on Coast To Coast the other night that people that like to stay up late at night are more intelligent than the ones that go to bed early. Not only that, people that stay up late are also prone to be anti establishment, they want to expand their mind and they are also more open minded. I don't know, read for yourself, there are plenty of articles to be found on the subject. If I had to get up at 6 am to go to work it wouldn't make any sense for me to stay up until 3 or 4 am (which is my usual bedtime when I'm not working) because I can't function unless I get adequate sleep. I have always been a night person though. Something happens to me at night, I want to do stuff.
Tonight (after getting some stuff crossed off my to do list) I took a bath and scrubbed myself and washed my hair. Put a honey mask on my face. Right now I use Manuka honey, I massage a rather thick layer of honey onto my face and leave it for at least 20 minutes. These are the products I used, in case you are curious and into hair and skin care.



Now let's talk about brushes. I have a Clarisonic Mia face brush - I love it. While in Sweden I got a face brush from a store called Iris Hantverk, they make brushes for your body and your home, made mostly from natural products. So I got a face brush (the one that is made to be used wet, they have one to be used dry also) and a nail brush. I clean my body with scrubbing gloves almost every time I take a bath. Sometimes I make a body scrub at home from brown sugar and olive oil......or coffee grinds and olive oil. I also have a body brush but I never use it, although I sometimes make a mental note and a promise to myself that I should start and then I forget . Brushing your body is supposedly really good not only for the skin but also for blood circulation and the lymphatic system, plus so many other benefits. I really should start dry skin brushing. After all, the skin is the largest organ.
I think everybody should have a quality face brush. If you don't want the Mia, then I do recommend Iris Hantverk, you can order a brush at www.irishantverk.se and the prices are in Swedish krona. That store is great.

Last year I thought I was going to do something great for my hair and coated it from the scalp to the tips in coconut oil and let the oil sit for 24 hours before washing it out. I did this a few times (maybe three). I started noticing a significant hair loss by Christmas and that went on for several months, I think it has stopped now......I really hope so! Yes, I am aware of the normal rate of losing hair, 50-100 strands a day is normal but mine would come out way more than that. It was either the coconut oil that clogged my hair follicles and made the hair fall out or my hair was going through the natural cycle of growth, rest and shedding.....I'm not sure. My hair that once was thick and cascaded down my back does not look like it used to anymore. I still have a lot of hair (compared to many) but it's not the same. It is so much thinner than it used to be. My braids used to look thick and they were heavy. Not anymore. Maybe in ten years I will have my hair back......and then it will start thinning again at some point due to aging. Yeay, FUN times lie ahead! When I was in Sweden I got some hair vitamins, I am going to start taking them now. Like tonight.



A pic from a past photo shoot that was deemed unusable....therefore you can see a red line that was drawn through the pic. My hair used to be so nice.......



I'm sitting here debating if I should drive and get some ice cream (feeling lazy) or if I should just stay at home, make myself some tea and be content with that.