Welcome to Chaos !!

Look at my two new additions to my faery collection. I LOVE them. I have all kinds of faeries and mermaids, most of them put away in boxes either here or Las Vegas. One day when I figure out where I am going to settle......all the stuff that I have will be unpacked and organized. My future home is going to be amazing, I know this.

I had a pretty bad headache yesterday, not sure if it was from second hand nicotine poisoning at work from the night before or if I just felt unwell in general. So I ate some more quinoa tacos, took an Excedrin and spent the night watching the Olympics and reading stuff online.
I love the Olympics! I especially loved the pink bodysuit that Aliona Savchenko had on. Absolutely gorgeous, the bodysuit and Aliona (I read that she designs her and her skating partners costumes - WOW!). I want a bodysuit like that for work! Super hot! Aliona, can you make me one just like yours, please? A while back bodysuits similar to Alionas were really popular in Vegas (at work), I had two. A purple one with a cutout on the stomach and a shiny black one with a laced up back, I always felt like a bad ass super heroine when I wore them. I should dig them up one day when I'm in Vegas and take a pic of them so you can see. Also popular were two pieces, as in a top with matching pants.....stripper style pants that is. I remember I had three pairs, light blue, dark silver and sheer black. Those were the days at Crazy Horse Too. I know there are a lot of ladies that think back of that club with fond memories.....
Speaking of the Olympics, Alionas partner Robin was really good looking too. But I wondered if she was really German since she is representing Germany and no, she was born in Ukraine. I also fell in love with the 15 year old Japanese Ayumu Hirano that won silver in the snowboard halfpipe, what a CUTIE!
A few sports I don't understand. Curling, luge and skeleton. What? Talk about crazy speed freaks the people that compete in luge and skeleton. I would had fainted if I had to do that. But if those (weird) sports are qualified to be in the Olympics I think that pole dancing should be too. I have seen some extremely talented girls on the pole, not the regular spins or upside down moves that every other dancer can pull off (not me, I suck on the pole) and some look totally clumsy doing it too. I am talking about the ones that really perform a great pole show, athletic and gracious. The top three in no particular order I have seen are Thumper (Crazy Horse Too), Tatiana (not me) Crazy Horse Too and Luxury (Fantasies). I would watch those girls and be amazed.


GORGEOUS!


Photo Ivan Sekretarev

It's going on one month now.....the not shaving my armpits. Why? Well, I am kind of making a statement. To myself and to anybody that cares to care. My worth as a human being, as a woman.....does NOT depend on whether men think I am "fuckable" or not. Frankly, I couldn't care less about what guys think of me. And I wish that I had realized this much earlier.
You know, when I was a teenager and I was worrying and obsessing about boys and stuff like that. Then I grew up and stopped caring as much.
I am completely aware of that I work in strip clubs and that 99.9% of the money that I make come from men. And I appreciate that. But when the occasional asshole wanders in and tells me loudly that he thinks I am rude/angry/not friendly enough/not this/not that/should smile more/too skinny/too tall/too standoffish/demands my phone number/demands other stuff and bla bla bla I am absolutely going to put my foot down and tell him to shut the fuck up basically. My integrity is priceless, I have said that many times now. I can always make money as a dancer. A few assholes here and there won't make any difference in my wallet.
Therefore I refuse to sit there, quietly with a forced smiled plastered across my face like "a nice girl" and take any form of abuse. I work on MY terms. Oh and believe me, I know how to stand up for myself!
As far as shaving goes. I don't know how brainwashed I am when it comes to that, I'm sure that I am to some degree. I shave, trim and pluck and have done so for a long time, before I started dancing. I personally think that trimming and shaving is cleaner. And that goes for men too. But that's my opinion and it is totally OK if some hairy never shaved woman reads this and doesn't agree. I won't dislike her or judge her for it. I have looked into the history of shaving and it goes back to thousands of years BC.....both sexes have used all kinds of tools (like seashells and flint blades) to get rid of or alter body hair. It's actually quite interesting to read about it.
So I have been going in to work with my hairy pits and proudly announcing that they are hairy and showing them off to everybody. The reactions have been mixed. One of the girls I work with thinks it's sexy. Damn right it is! I think I can safely say that shaving amongst girls and women is very widespread and mainstream in the US. It's more like that you SHOULD shave here and if girls don't start taking care of their body hair at an early age they risk being bullied by their peers. Unless you are home schooled or Amish. That's just wrong. To get bullied because you don't shave your legs or armpits? So very sad and very wrong.
I don't know how long I am going to keep my hairy pits. I might keep it up for a while or I might shave. The point is.....I do whatever I want with my body. If you don't like it.....oh well.

I got up at 7 this morning, had something to do. And while waiting for the light to turn green at a busy intersection about an hour later, watching all the traffic in the cold dark morning......it struck me again. It is way too early to have to do anything at that time.
Work should not start earlier than 9 am.....unless you do something that is so important that it can't wait. Like care for the sick. Besides that, office work, stores, school......no earlier than 9. I remember my school days, I absolutely hated getting up early. I guess I love my sleep.
I am back in bed now and I am going to go back to sleep soon. Chhaya does not like getting up early either.
So I spent last night watching the last episode of Breaking Bad. What am I supposed to do now? I guess there is more.....I am not clear on that though.....but from what I understand more episodes will be available on Netflix later this month. I hope so, because ending it with Hank sitting on the toilet in Walters house with that book in his lap, dedicated to WW.....that can't be the end, right?
I did make it to work Friday night. Left the place with a feeling of......WTF, is this place even REAL? To sum it up, the club is basically a psychotic, unprofessional drug den. I got subjected to (unwillingly) a drunk dude that in his own loud words was a "redneck asshole". Indeed he was. Most other clubs (most, not all) would had told the redneck asshole to shut up or get the fuck out. But this place values the redneck assholes more than the few quality girls they have working there. And I am not into being around redneck assholes, no thanks. I prefer people with manners and class. I think back to Vinny and John, the two managers at Crazy Horse Too in Vegas and how professional they were, always. That club could have 400 girls a night, some nights presented lots of drama and a very busy club but management never flinched, no tantrums, always professional, nicely dressed, no need for yelling or throwing things around.
I also immersed myself completely in a new book. Some German author I never read before, Nele Neuhaus, now I need her latest book. And I made quinoa tacos two days in a row. Delicious and very good for you. You need some tortillas, I prefer flour. I stuffed the tortillas with quinoa, avocado, fried onion, salsa and sour creme. Yum.
What else? I now have hairy armpits. More on that later. I am going to sleep now.

Have you ever been curious about how long a bottle of shower creme can last you? Well, I am curious about it.....I am a weirdo like that. So this is my brand new shower creme, I am going to start using it tonight and see how long it's going to last before it's completely empty. I use shower creme to shave too, I don't get any special shaving lotions for that.



Besides that, I feel GREAT this evening. I went to the gym and spent a whole 52 minutes on the treadmill, alternating between regular walking, walking on a steep incline and running.
I got really sweaty and now I am in bed, feeling happy. The only thing is that the gym moved and I'm not feeling the new location. Way too small and cramped, no mirrored area for stretching, it's more catered to cardio and weight lifting only. They really should had included a semi private quiet area for stretching or exercises with no machines, that is very important to me at least. I don't want to be doing my stretches and leg lifts surrounded by weight lifting dudes in cut off shirts. No thanks. On the other hand, they now offer some kind of a virtual reality classes in a separate room. I might have to check that out one day.



My plans for tonight? I might go into work. I have an ingrown hair down there that I am sure everybody wants to see and spend all their money on.

It's like a mini storm out today.....super windy. I was up last night listening to my windows rattle, the roof making strange sounds and the lights flickering while the wind was ripping through the yard. When I woke up a tree had fallen not too far from the house. To me that's kind of scary. I was spooked but Chhaya just slept through it.
So.....I watched some of the Olympics last night. I am so impressed by the people that compete solo. I am a rather lazy person so to comprehend how driven they are, all the time and effort they sacrificed to perfect their chosen sport. WOW! I love the figure skaters.
The Russian guy had such a gorgeous and theatrical performance and then the Japanese guy came out and was amazing, it was beautiful. I love watching that kind of sport, I am not into burly team sports like football and hockey. I like playing football (soccer) but I don't care for watching it.
So I have read and heard the reports about that some people arrived in Russia to find less than acceptable hotel accommodations. Like no pillows, is it really true that the regular folks living there had to give up their own used pillows? That is FUNNY if that is true. Just imagine getting presented with somebody's pillow. LOL. Only cold water in the faucet, dirty too, no shower curtains, not clean etc etc. I mean......it's not the Ritz-Carlton New York City, so look at it as an ADVENTURE. Bring out your inner Bear Grylls camping skills and go with it. When I camp or go to some dusty little town for work and stay in some makeshift trailer with bugs all over or a rundown motel room I grit and bear it. Like when I stayed at a motel in Denver and found a glass pipe (not for weed) in the bathroom and a used condom under the bed, interesting indeed! If I had the privilege to go to Russia on a paid mission as a reporter, I would be happy and grateful. Cold and dirty water and no pillow.....it is what it is and it's only temporary. After your stay in Sochi you can return to the comforts of your own home.
That's how to look at it.
So, let's touch on the LGBT issue and Russia real quick. I am rather open minded and I absolutely believe in human rights. That includes the acceptance of homosexuality.
Nobody chooses to be born "different" and possibly shunned or even murdered by society for it. I went to a gay club when I was 16 and that was the first time I was fully exposed to that "lifestyle" and to me it is totally normal, just as normal as being heterosexual. One of my best friends is gay. It makes me sad when people are hateful only because they are narrow minded and basically backwards thinking.
I think many of the former Easter Bloc countries are stuck in an old and narrow minded way of thinking. Also many countries (most countries actually) in Africa where you can actually be punished with execution for being gay. That is just insane. To mention some other wide spread backwards thinking in some African countries, the practice of having sex with a virgin to cure yourself from AIDS. I think it's safe to say that it's mostly HIV infected men that prey on young girls that are virgins. Or when Romania slaughtered all those stray dogs a while ago because some boy got bitten by a stray dog. When I say slaughtered I mean that, not "humanely" euthanized more like brutally butchered. That is a great example of backwards thinking in a former Eastern Bloc country. Sure, plenty of highly educated people but many of them are not evolved in issues like human rights and animal rights. But there are plenty of hillbillies like that in the US also.
I know about the ban on gay propaganda in Russia but like some well spoken man said during an interview I watched last night, an estimated 85% of Russians are homophobic and that can present itself in very negative ways, like accepted violence. Or worse. How scary it must be to live as a homosexual in a place like that.
But now I am going to finish this up and go to the gym. I haven't been there in a long time and I have been waking up feeling so heavy and sluggish in my body, so sweating at the gym will be good for me. Besides I saw a guy out running in this wind storm we have here earlier. If he can be out running, I can make it to the gym, that guy inspired me. Thank You random guy out running!
One more thing......Big Bang Theory. Sheldon and Amy kissed. Nooooooo!!!!! I am JEALOUS!
I want to be Sheldon's girlfriend!!! 😥