Welcome to Chaos !!

Here is Chhaya is her Krokodilsky outfit, like I call it. SO CUTE! I miss her so much, I don't even want to think about it.
Happy Halloween!

Went on a day trip to China Ranch and to Tecopa mud baths yesterday. I love taking people that have never been there before because it's a great adventure, very scenic, nice and not too far from Vegas, although technically China Ranch is in California by Death Valley.



Also mandatory while at China Ranch is a visit to the gift shop for a yummy date shake. They grow date trees at China Ranch and you can sample the fruits inside. The hike I go on is to the Slot Canyon. I also found out that there is a hike to a waterfall, so we went there too.







I love nature, hiking, hot springs, skiing, anything that I can do outside that doesn't involve a large engine roaring in my ears. I want to be able to move my body in nature instead of sitting in a car or some other vehicle. So when I am outside getting sweaty and dirty I am very happy girl.







After the hike I took my friends to the mud baths in Tecopa and we splashed around in the hot water for a while, played with the mud.





The drive back to Vegas on a desolate desert road was lit up by a gorgeous full moon. When I got home I was tired but happy.
Great day yesterday. There might be some more pics from this adventure up on the blog since I haven't seen what Rich and Ulrika got yet. I know they got some good pics.......
But now I am off to start my day. I am starving so I need something in my belly, like a latte and then I am picking up Julia and heading to the gym. No plans yet for tonight.......it's Halloween!

Today one of my best friends had to put down her companion Honey. Honey was also Chhaya's best friend. They were both born in May 2005, a few days apart and loved playing together. Chhaya would get so excited when she knew she was going over to Honey's place, it was so cute!
My friend is sad beyond words, she is far away from me, in Chicago and I feel helpless because I wish I could do something to make her feel less pain. I can just imagine if that was me going through that - I would had been devastated, inconsolable and brokenhearted.
I am actually very afraid of grief and losing the people I care for and of course Chhaya. I do not know how to handle grief.
I have known people that have passed away but no one very close to me and I don't want that ever to happen. I wouldn't know what to do. I think I would rather be the first to die so I don't have to deal with that pain. How do you go on? I know that life goes on, no matter what but how does one go on after going through something that painful?
I want to live a long life but at the same time I don't because I know that the older I get the more of the ones that I love will die and leave me.
I even had thoughts that the day Chhaya passes I don't want to continue living because I love her SO MUCH and I don't know if I could deal with being without her.......I have asked her, told her a few times, while looking into her beautiful eyes, that we will never be apart, that somehow, somewhere we will be reunited. I want to believe that there is a place somewhere where we will all meet up, any person and any being that we have loved. There must be such a place! Otherwise, why are we here? To get born, live and have experiences, including many difficult ones and then just die? What is the purpose of that? That can't be it - there must be something else, something more.
I feel so bad for my friend that lost her best friend too soon. Dogs - the most loving, loyal companions don't live long enough. It's so unfair. 😥
Here are some pictures of Chhaya and her beautiful best friend Honey.......





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Started my day with a visit to the gym with Julia. Ended the visit with some time on the stairmaster, pure torture, I can't believe I used to sweat on that thing for 30 minutes back in the day. How did I do that? Here I am on some arm machine.



Then we just had to get some lattes at the Fashion Show Mall, strolled over to the Palazzo Shops too. I've decided that I want to become a lady who does lunch. I want to shop all day, sip lattes and munch on pastries. Get pedicures, facials and massages.



I found a new line of fragrances and lotions that I just looooove now, TokyoMilk Dark.
Great names too, like Arsenic and Bulletproof. They all smelled wonderful but I finally picked
La Vie La Mort, mmmmmmmmm! Love the bottle. Cute huh?



Vegas is full of fun characters trying to make a buck through all kind of ways. I told Julia we should put on some kind of a show and charge people for it. My idea was to dress as nurses and inject tired shoppers and tourists with Vitamin B shots on The Strip. We get the shots for $ 15 and charge $ 30, profit! And an extra $ 10 if they want us to pose with them for a fan photo.
I think this is a great idea! Remember - Tatiana came up with this genius idea first in case you want to steal it..........



Today was one of those beautiful Vegas October days. When the sun went down the sky turned pink and the moon appeared.



In the evening my wish to go to a haunted house this year finally came to fruition. I met up with my friends Rich and Ulrika at The Hard Rock and we had some fun. BOOOOOOOOO!!!

Tatiana spent basically all day with Julia. First breakfast that consisted of almond croissants from Whole Foods and a chai for Tatiana, a vanilla soy latte for Julia, both with whipped cream of course. Julia introduced Tatiana to Aloe vera juice, not bad actually.....Tatiana liked.



After that, the Forum Shops and Town Square mall. Tatiana is taking care of most of her Christmas shopping now. While she is around things worth shopping for.



Later on it was gym time. Tatiana got a week pass so she will go every day until she leaves.
Back on that high stairmaster, Tatiana loves the burn she feels in her inner thighs.
After dropping Julia off, Tatiana went to Whole Foods again to get some dinner and hot tea. Found a very cute and Da Nang TOKIDOKI calendar at Barnes & Noble.



Then home for some downtime and a bath. Saturday night in Vegas, Tatiana is at home being a boring fogbone. Yeay!
In her soul she really, really wishes she was dancing non stop for hours to some HOUSE music. She can taste it in her mouth, the bass, the feeling, the happiness - Tatiana loves dancing.
Too bad Monster Massive got cancelled........ 😥 Tatiana is feeling nostalgic and a little sad.

It's after one am and I can't sleep, I have been trying to sleep for over two hours now. One am is not that late but I am supposed to be driving to LA in a few hours. At this point I have pretty much decided NOT to go because I get sleepy if I am not rested and have to drive far and that's not good. AND I have anxiety because I want to sleep but I can't. I have an appointment for my hair before noon in LA that I will have to cancel.
I guess I can always go another time......but I feel bad for cancelling.
Also I was set to go to Monster Massive this evening, Reza put away tickets for me as usual.
Then he texted me last night with the sad news that the party got cancelled AGAIN, just like last year. I feel so bad that this is happening. Monster Massive.......I can't even describe the many amazing memories I have from that party, it was my fave rave of the year. How sad! I am not sure why, permits, police, politics, difficult to throw raves in LA (that's why EDC moved to Vegas).
I know that if I go to LA I could still do something fun but I don't think I am going at this point. And I feel SO BAD to cancel my plans because I never ever do that, I am so not a flake. But I can't drive 300 miles alone on about four hours of sleep. Even for me that's stretching it. If I was driving with somebody then yes but not by myself. So, unless I change my mind.......no LA for me this time around...... 😥