My friend is sad beyond words, she is far away from me, in Chicago and I feel helpless because I wish I could do something to make her feel less pain. I can just imagine if that was me going through that - I would had been devastated, inconsolable and brokenhearted.
I am actually very afraid of grief and losing the people I care for and of course Chhaya. I do not know how to handle grief.
I have known people that have passed away but no one very close to me and I don't want that ever to happen. I wouldn't know what to do. I think I would rather be the first to die so I don't have to deal with that pain. How do you go on? I know that life goes on, no matter what but how does one go on after going through something that painful?
I want to live a long life but at the same time I don't because I know that the older I get the more of the ones that I love will die and leave me.
I even had thoughts that the day Chhaya passes I don't want to continue living because I love her SO MUCH and I don't know if I could deal with being without her.......I have asked her, told her a few times, while looking into her beautiful eyes, that we will never be apart, that somehow, somewhere we will be reunited. I want to believe that there is a place somewhere where we will all meet up, any person and any being that we have loved. There must be such a place! Otherwise, why are we here? To get born, live and have experiences, including many difficult ones and then just die? What is the purpose of that? That can't be it - there must be something else, something more.
I feel so bad for my friend that lost her best friend too soon. Dogs - the most loving, loyal companions don't live long enough. It's so unfair. 😥
Here are some pictures of Chhaya and her beautiful best friend Honey.......
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claudia on :
TATIANA Post author on :
I'm sad for you.. I wish I could make it better for you......
Love you.
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