Entries by TATIANA

I have been up since about 9 am this morning. Got all kinds of things done already, there is definitely an advantage to getting up earlier. Now I am waiting for my bowl of soup to cool down so I can eat, I am really hungry. I made chicken soup again, thought that would be a good thing to eat after having that pounding headache yesterday that I suspect I had due to how smokey it is at work. Sometimes I can't be around the bar area where most people congregate because of all the smoke, I have to go and breathe in a clean air pocket somewhere. I hope they make it smoke free here soon, secondhand smoke is really bad for you. But anyways, I feel great today. I am not sure what I am going to do for the reminder of this very sunny Sunday, probably relax, read and watch a movie or two and The Apprentice later.
Here are some pics from a shoot I did in LA. I got my hair curled for it, nothing that I would bother with myself. Too time consuming. Somebody else did it for me.

I got a really bad headache this afternoon. It spread down my neck and pulsated out of my ears. I was out doing errands when after lingering for a while it hit me with full force. As soon as I came home I took a headache pill and went to bed and now I am feeling better although I can still feel it in the back of my neck. I know that if I go to work tonight, the smoke and the loud sounds in there will make me feel sick again so it looks like I am staying in. 😥 Although I don't really want to. My hair stinks like smoke and getting a whiff of it makes me feel nauseous. I rarely take any pills for aches but when I have a headache or bad period cramps I have to. I feel bad for people that don't have access to anything to help them with pain. What do they do? What did people do back in the day when they suffered from aches and pains? Got drunk on home brewed wheat and barley to ease the discomfort? Made tea from willow bark?
So......my plans for tonight? I have to take Chhaya out regardless of how I feel. Then I am going to watch movies and read my new magazines. Maybe I will learn something new. I like that the Yes! magazine is printed on 100% post-consumer waste.



I also took a pic of these books the other day. I have the Unlikely Friendships by Jennifer Holland. It is AMAZING, it gives examples of friendships that animals form with each other. Cutest book ever. I haven't read the other ones but I think they are fitting. Dancers Among Us by Jordan Matter. There are all kinds of dancers. Like me.
And Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. I don't think I will read it (at this point at least) but I think that it brings up an important message for women in general. Do not feel afraid to be seen and heard. In all areas of life. Don't sit back and let men do all the talking and doing. Do not let yourself be intimidated and dominated. One thing that bothers me is when girls act dumb on purpose. Well, some are vapid and that is the reality of things. But to act dumb because they think it is cute or something........that is really BAD.

Ummmmm, so before going on stage I was bending over naked and checking my VAGINE in the mirror when Aaron, the fill in dj for this evening walked in on me.
I heard, "Oh, that's cute" behind me. Hello! Embarrassing! LOL. Only in the strip club.
Like he really needed to see THAT! Of course I started my period at work and so did another girl, she didn't have any tampons so I came to her rescue and gave her one of mine. In case you need to know (yes of course you do) I only use tampons when absolute necessary, like when I am working. Or go to raves. I am not going to drip blood everywhere or put a pad in my Honey Dews. But I really don't like tampons, it feels weird to trap the blood inside when it should come out. I try to use only organic cotton tampons, the smallest size. I hope you found all of that information very interesting!

I was so busy today with STUFF........errands that I didn't have time to write anything until now. And I am at work now. Had to find birthday gifts for people......get food for Chhaya, for me, a latte, get ready for work etc. Sometimes there are not enough hours in a day.



We had a birthday celebration for Clay, our dj and Trish, a local hottie tonight.
There was food and cake. I was already feeling bloated and fat when I got here, now after eating I feel like a whale. Me having one piece of cake when we had two different kinds, vanilla and chocolate? No way, I needed to try both. Oh well, I guess I can feel like a fat slug tonight. Gym tomorrow.



Well, I have to go. At work, my turn on stage soon.

The difference between the money you make on stage varies. Sometimes it is good.
Two songs and $ 186.



And other times I go up and make $ 23. That is how it is. It can be worse. I have worked in clubs where you barely make one dollar on stage.



I am at work right now and I am not in the mood to be here, at all. It is smokey, cold and boring. But I need $ for a bag of food for Chhaya, my phone bill and as always latte money. And I do not like dipping into my savings. So I am here, counting down the minutes until I can go home........

I woke up too early today because that boy dog that likes Chhaya came by again.
Third time since last Sunday. So Chhaya was barking and whining. I had to call the owners (again) and ask them to come and get him. I would never let Chhaya roam around miles from the house by herself. I would be worried that something bad would happen to her. I have a friend that let his dog out once and didn't see the dog for three days, that poor dog had been trapped in a snare. Luckily he somehow survived.
People let their dogs run without supervision all the time and next thing they know the dog is gone. Irresponsible I think.
So.......what can I write about today? Well, how about this. A sick and evil pedophile recently got released from jail. Manipulated his electronic bracelet device. Then went ahead and abducted a woman and her 10 year old daughter. Raped the little girl in front of the Mom, then murdered the Mom. He got apprehended and is back in jail.
I could write about stuff like this every day. What I don't understand is what he was doing out in society in the first place, why was he released from jail? It seems like pedophiles are repeat offenders, therefore I strongly believe in chemical castration. Should be mandatory punishment for all convicted child molesters and rapist. What is wrong with (some) men? Really!? You don't hear of women (often at least) attacking children and raping them or other guys either for that matter. Sure women commit crimes but what is the problem with men? When I hear about cases like that I get so sad. That poor 10 year old is without a Mom now, she knows that her Mom got murdered. And she lived through a traumatic rape. Nice start on her life. Scarred forever.
I just thought of something else Larry (from the other night) told me. He said that there is never such a thing as a bad day or a problem. I told him that I didn't agree. I am a realist.
Of course there are bad days and problems. Obviously, look at what I just wrote about. Larry said he is an optimist and for him there are no problems or bad days. Hmmmmmmm.........Then he said that I might change my mind on that when I get older. Perhaps. Change is a part of life. I am aware of this. He also told me that he used to shoot coyotes in his younger days, kind of just to shoot them. And that he now regrets doing that. He said, "For what?". He no longer believes in hunting as a thing to do for fun. That I liked to hear. Hunting just for fun? Barbaric in my opinion.