Entries by TATIANA

Sorry I haven't checked in for a day.....I am alive and well and I am in Anchorage, doing lots of stuff and just opened up my laptop now. It is late Thursday evening and I am heading back to Kenai at some point tomorrow.
Last night I went to The Great Alaskan Bush Company, my old stomping grounds.....I haven't been there since I left the club in July 2010. I was happy to see many familiar faces. Larry and John - two of the DJs. They are so nice. I missed Landis, the other DJ....Landis if you read this, I miss you and I hope you are well. I also ran into Johnny Johnson, a friend and a great wild life photographer.
And the girls of course. Daisy, my favorite dancer was on stage when I walked in, looking beautiful and perfect as always. Seriously Daisy is amazing, what a body and so good on stage.....WOW! Lilly, so beautiful and nice. A girl I saw for the first time, Asia put on a great show with a glittery oil that she poured all over herself. What a gorgeous girl! The one and only Onyx. The cutie Sylk. Tara that looks like she belongs on a runway doing a fashion show. I miss the girls.....sometimes I do miss working there, it could be fun but I don't know if I want to go back. Everybody that I talked to asked me if I am coming back.
And they also thought I looked so blonde (!?) skinny and pretty. Isabelle said that she didn't remember me wearing any make up when I worked there, although I did, the same style as now. LOL! I look the same to me.....that's how it is sometimes when you haven't seen a person for a while, you kind of forget what they look like. Anyways, I had a great time last night, I have to pay the club another visit soon.

I finally paid a visit to Nikiski pool today.....Swam some laps, tried the water slide and jumped off the trampoline. I should swim more often, I like it. It is relaxing and soothing. Afterwards I felt tired and took a nap when I got home and now it is almost time to start getting ready for work. I want to retire! No more work!

It is still raining here......I just want a little sliver of sunshine....a few hours in the afternoon to lay out and soak it up.
I stayed home last night, me and Angelica rented some movies.



The original Evil Dead scared me so much when I first watched it, I was a teenager then. I still have flashbacks to certain parts that scared me. This new one was too bloody. Like blood shooting out of body parts....it was entertaining (kind of) but not scary. Then perhaps things don't scare me to the same effect now. I got hardened by life....HA! I LOVE haunted houses, Halloween is my favorite holiday.
I am at Coffee Roasters (of course). A hot vanilla latte tastes extra good on a rainy day.



I remembered something today. An ex boyfriend in Sweden. I was young and "in love".
We were actually together for a few years and then I got tired of him and broke up. He was sad for years afterwards. Good!
But I remember one evening in his room, he held up a record cover, if I remember it right it was Pebbles, if anybody recalls her, she did a song called Girlfriend , I like that song, I have it on my iPod.....great message to all girls out there. He held up the record and said something to the style of that she was so hot and why didn't I look like that? He also watched porn and made some suggestions about some sexual things he wanted me to do. I was not ok with that and the porn made me feel insecure, sad and jealous. Well, I grew up, matured and learned a lot since then. I have enough confidence in myself and who I am to give it away to hundreds of other girls and still have enough left over for myself.
Like Pebbles sang...."there's other fish in the sea."

When guys that I meet at work try to talk trash to me about their wives or girlfriends I always ask them....."What are YOU doing to make her happy? What are YOU doing to better your relationship?" I don't want to hear it, unless there is some unusual circumstance, I will be on the woman's side.
Therefore I am going to take copies of this great "Dear Abby" column and hand it out to the guys that think I will lend a sympathetic ear to their marital problems. Therapy like that is expensive (one 60 minute session can go from $100 -$300), I usually don't make enough to give you this advice and listen to your sob story and besides my advice would be for the man to better himself. Hello, I am a feminist. That doesn't mean that I always side with the woman, I side with what's right.....and in cases like these the man often wrongly thinks he is the victim but he is not. He is only acting like a spoiled child. Man up!
Basically men that complain about not enough sex or complete lack of sex in their marriage or relationship should examine what they are doing or......keyword here.....NOT doing.
Women like to feel appreciated and loved. This is real life and not some porn. Porn does not depict real life sex. Many men seem to have a difficult time understanding that. I personally do not know of any girls that act or have sex like girls in porn do every time they have sex. Girls in porn get paid to perform like that, they have a script to follow, they usually prepare for a day or a few days before the shoot, many numb themselves with drugs and alcohol to be able to cope and many of them just go through the motions. You and your wife might have kids, she might be tired from working a full time job and also taking on the children and the household chores. Don't expect her to jump for joy when you press your erection into her lower back in bed at night. She would probably be happier with a foot rub or a massage. Speaking of that, when was the last time you rubbed your wives or girlfriends feet or gave her a nice and long massage without expecting any sex in return? If men would pay more attention to the woman in their life I can promise that most of those women would respond differently to the sex.
No need for expensive gifts, a lot of great things in life are free. Also a woman's sex drive is many times a mental thing. So the way she feels about you and how she responds to you is tied into how well you fulfill her emotional needs. Remember, this is real life and not porn. Also many women are not too thrilled that the man in their life might be spending more time watching porn instead of focusing his attention on her, very understandable. After all, that hot 19 year old that turns you on in that porn probably wouldn't pay you any attention in real life. And if she did.....you would most likely have to pay for it and that would make you feel pretty shitty about yourself in the end.
Also men have Viagra. That small pill that can turn them into a sex machine within an hour. Not that I think most men need Viagra, they are horny enough. Many of them willing to hump anybody that is willing.
Some girls I work with try to cash in on men that are unhappy with their wives. You know, say things like, "I am way sluttier than your wife." BS like that. Well, I don't act slutty at work. Gross. I am classy. And like I said, I don't want to hear it. If anything, bring in your wife or girlfriend and let me and her have a serious talk with you and set the situation straight.
You might thank me later for that.
I remember about a month ago....it was a slow starting night and me and a few of my co workers were sitting on the couch chatting. Something prompted the waitress to say that men come in to the club because they don't get what they want at home. The other girls nodded and agreed. I was the only one that objected. Listen, one woman can never fulfill a mans every fantasy.....it is impossible. I can't be Asian or a busty Milf and a slutty daddy's girl in a weeks span. I can only be ME. There is NOTHING lacking at home. If a boyfriend of mine would tell me that he went to a strip club because I was lacking in any area I would laugh first then probably beat him thoroughly or kick him in his nuts. Fuck that shit. Besides a strip club is entertainment only, women are welcome to enter and watch and have fun too (if they are cool). Trust me, you can keep your man, I don't want him. Unless it's Chester Bennington.
So, my advice is.....pay attention to your partner, appreciate them, small things matter, give lots of foot rubs and massages, laugh together, do fun things together that create good memories. If there is an emotional bond, the sex will follow. That is enough on this rainy Sunday from Tatiana, your personal therapist. Free too....!



And before I upset any men out there. Yes, sometimes the woman is at fault. I know this. That is why I said that I side with what's right.

At home after a very uneventful Friday night.....it was very slow. Here are the funds that I have, one is for the animals, basically a spay and neuter collection for cats and dogs.
The other one I named "Tati's Tampon Fund" because I thought it was funny. Yes, this is my kind of humor. And no I do not need money for tampons, although I like to joke about that I do (sometimes) when I am at work......The proceeds from this will go to Lee Shore, it is a local safe haven for women and children that are victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. The money is gathering slowly but surely, I don't bring the funds out every night and ask for donations.....more on a seldom kind of level. And yes, every single dollar will go towards what I have intended for it, I am not going to pull an A-Rod and keep 90 % for myself. That would be wrong.



And the tampons are clean, we just dipped a few of them slightly in some cranberry juice.
Well, I am yawning on repeat now. I have to wash my face before I go to sleep.

I am up and ready to start my day....went to sleep at 6 and got up a bit after 11. I have lots of stuff to take care of today, look for a plane ticket, get a bag of food for Chhaya, get some food for myself somewhere, pay my phone bill, go to Home Depot, get some stuff for my Mom at Fred Meyer, look for some Manga for my brother.....then I am going home to do dishes, a load of laundry, walk with Chhaya and a jog if I have time before work this evening. Right now I am having my morning latte at Coffee Roasters.



That is a pic of me and one of my very best friends Mikey on my computer. I met him in Vegas, at Utopia (a now closed down but still legendary club) we became good friends and even lived together for a while. He is in the hospital right now, something unexpected and scary happened to him a few days ago but it looks like he is going home later today, he is doing better. I was worried fora while. I love my Skrinkie very much. That is my nickname for him..... ❤ ❤ ❤