Entries by TATIANA

Here are some pics from a shoot I did when I was in Vegas a few months ago. I got contacted by the couple asking if I was willing to do the shoot for them. They have a pretty fun business idea. Basically they will provide the wardrobe, props and take you to a desert location outside Las Vegas and let you be Nevada Jane for a few hours. Pretty cool concept. So they provided me with everything I am wearing in the first pic, in the second pic I obviously don't wear much......





Perhaps you need some Nevada Jane pics of yourself as well? A fun memory!
www.vintage69.com

I got to Coffee Roasters a while ago, sat down with my yummy latte and a blueberry muffin (baked at the premises). It's raining since a few days now. The fire which was raging here a few days ago is more under control now and the evacuated residents were able to come home. I worked last night, there is so much drama and stuff going on in this small club that it's insane. I had coffee with a girl I work with yesterday and that is exactly what we were discussing, all the drama here. I have worked at clubs with hundreds of girls and there were less (that I noticed) bullshit going on than here in this small club. But I guess that might be just the way it is in a small place and a small town. Sharon described me to somebody at work yesterday, she said that she thinks I am beautiful from the inside out. That warmed my heart and made me feel grateful and teary eyed. Sure, it's nice that others might think you have a nice exterior but when others think that you are a nice person - that matters more.
To me. I get teary eyed a lot, several times a day. Just thinking about Chhaya, people I miss, reading the news, seeing that sad ASPCA commercial on TV with those poor animals. I can't take it. Sometimes I wish I could turn off feeling, it's too much at times. I scrolled down through the news and read about an elk called Big Boy that some bloodthirsty cop shot.
The residents in the town where Big Boy frolicked are outraged, Big Boy was kind of a fixture in town and supposedly never harmed anyone. I got sad. Why did the elk have to die? Why kill an animal if all you want are the bragging rights and the animals head on your wall, maybe feel extra tough and powerful that day too? Why? I don't understand it. We have a store in town called Sportsman's Warehouse. When you walk in you walk past a large wall, the wall is full of pictures of people showing off the animals they killed. They hold up their heads, some sit on the animal - grinning. OK, I know that this is Alaska and some people hunt for subsistence, this is legal and accepted here. But do you have to be such a show off about it? Don't get me started on pure trophy hunting. I can't stand it. It makes me sick. I should put up my own pic on that wall inside Sportsman's Warehouse, me hugging and kissing a moose baby or holding a chicken or a little piglet. Showing off that I love animals.
One more absolutely HORRIBLE thing has happened (again) in a different part of the world. Two young girls in India (14 and 15) were found dead hanging, they had been gang raped.
It hurts to read about this, I'm thinking about the two girls and the horror they went through. I don't understand how a human can do this to another human. How can a gang of guys attack and rape a girl or girls and then hang them and let them die? This must be somewhat acceptable in India since it seems to happen on a regular basis.
And with acceptable I mean, the punishment for raping and discarding of women, doing what you want to women if you are a man over there seems to carry a punishment equal to a slap on the wrist. If you are a woman that get raped in India chances are that you will be ostracized afterwards. I can't even think about it anymore, I feel helpless and sad. Is it that difficult to know wrong from right? I am not free of fault and sin. But you don't knowingly harm another person or animal. Unless you defend yourself and examples like such.
Other than that, it is WRONG. What is wrong with people?
Well.....that's all from me today, I feel drained. I am going to take Chhaya for a long and refreshing walk in the drizzling rain, I have to clear my head......Here is a pic from the other day.

I haven't had time to write anything until now.....and I want to hurry up and write this before today....May 28 is over. Today is Chhaya's birthday. My love and my everything. No words can express what she means to me. The day she came into my life is one of the best days I've had. She is so much fun and she is my best friend. I LOVE YOU CHHAYA!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Do we have any takers for two pairs of....thongs and a pair of shoes? Only high bidders please! And no, these are not Tatiana's thongs and heels, I am sorry to disappoint you. When I got to work this evening I saw this stuff neatly laying on the floor and I just had to take a pic. The shoes are a size 10 and the thongs are in questionable state of clean. My heels are a size 8 and my underwear are neatly put away and safely locked up, otherwise I wouldn't have any left. When I decide to sell either used shoes or underwear I will have an auction.



I came up with a fun idea Friday night. I made a merkin for myself. Somebody left some dark and fuzzy fabric in a locker, perfect for merkin making I thought! I cut a large triangular shape out and stuffed it inside my smallest g-string, then I pulled a pair of my Honey Dew boy shorts over this. Went on stage and flashed the merkin which I had arranged so it looked like I was nice and hairy from the front to the back. Success? You can say so, $63 on stage and somebody got some lap dances right after I got off stage, clad in the merkin. I got $105 for that. So $168 in about 25 minutes and lots of laughs. I make myself laugh all the time at work. Boss Lady thinks I am very amusing......NOT.
I am definitely going to have fun with the merkin again. I will auction that one off too.....eventually.

So I cracked open a vial of the Phytocyane and applied the serum to my scalp after washing my hair last night. I'm going to do this every time I wash my hair until the vials are gone.
Very fancy, all I need is a white lab coat. Let's see if all my hair falls out now......
I also gave Chhaya a vegetarian small can of dog food. Brown rice, cracked barley, oatmeal and carrots.....I was curious to see if she would eat that and she did. Gobbled it down real fast, she probably thought it was one of her regular cans of beef.
What else.....I had a very annoying experience trying to order something important online this afternoon. What usually takes perhaps 30 minutes turned into a two hour plus ordeal with me having to call and talk to a customer service rep and I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown out of sheer frustration for about five minutes. But that is done and taken care of now and I can breathe a long sigh of relief, make myself some lentil soup and maybe chant a few om's to calm down.
There is a new rumor that Jennifer Lopez's boyfriend (child) Casper is cheating on her......not so smart of him I think...... I never thought Casper was anyone Jennifer should bother with anyways, I said this a long time ago (it's in the blog.....of course!). I love her, I think she is beautiful and she can dance. Come on now Jennifer, if he cheated he needs to go! But for now, it's only a rumor. Nothing confirmed. And every couple have different rules and agreements for their relationship. Maybe they have an open one? I don't know. Not my cup of tea (and I prefer Earl Grey and English Breakfast if you wonder) but I have never tried it. I wonder if my baby Vlad (Putin) would be OK with sharing me with Rihanna or Chester (Bennington). Or some other good looking boy, someone that likes big Ford trucks perhaps? Hmmmmmm.......I refuse to share my Vlad with anyone!

A friend discovered some gray hair on my head when I was 18 and she was playing with my hair while we were in class. Well, I'm not 18 anymore (technically but physically and mentally I am). The gray hair spread throughout the years and I've been coloring it to blend it in with my natural hair color whenever I feel it is necessary. Usually every other month or so, it's a boring process that I rather not bother with too often. I'm waiting for a miracle pill that will eliminate gray hair and restore the hair back to it's original color. I read that Jennifer Lopez started graying at a young age also and she dyes her hair every two weeks or so. That's like a full time occupation! But she is supposedly completely gray, I am about 30% gray a hairstylist recently told me after she looked at my hair. So I only color the regrowth and most of the gray is in the front around my face and especially in one spot. When I first started coloring my hair I used box color. I didn't know what I was doing and it took a few tries to find the right shade.
The first time it got too dark. Another time somebody that was working as a hairstylist colored my hair at my house and she did it way too light. Even professionals can get it wrong. I'm not going to go to a salon to color my hair when I can do it at home. I'm not putting in highlights or lowlights or trying to bleach it or do something complicated, all I'm doing is coloring the gray. Well, after the box color I started experimenting with other colors that I would get at Sally Beauty Supply. I started with Clairol and then I tried One'n Only Argan Oil color. I would mix two and then three different shades together. It was good enough for me. Although now I'm back to using box color. I think that the One'n Only Argan Oil was too strong, the developer or something. I noticed lots of breakage and my hair got dry. I don't think my hair was breaking from the box color, it's probably gentler on the hair.....that is my guess but I don't work with hair so I don't know for sure. The last time I colored my hair, which was last week, I tried Garnier Olia. I was a little nervous that the shade was going to be wrong but it turned out OK, so I think I will stick with it for a while. Now I have a bunch of Clairol and Argan Oil colors at home, I can open up a salon here and start coloring some hair. Me with hair color in. You have to leave it in for about 45 minutes, perfect for some selfies and the rest is boring time.




I also lost A LOT of hair since about October or November. That's when I started noticing.
And when I say a lot....I mean a lot. To me it seems like a third of my hair fell out. Of course I was worried. That's why I had my thyroid checked and I also did a complete blood panel when I was in Vegas and everything came out fine. So it could be stress. I live a fairly calm life I think. I do not like a lot of drama, please spare me your drama and psycho episodes.....thank you. There were two people that added some drama to my life last year. Awful.....ugh. Or it could be the natural growing and shedding cycle of the hair. I guess hair has a resting phase, a growing phase and a shedding phase - anagen, catogen and telogen. Again, this is something I read about. OR it could be another thing that caused the hair loss. Last year I wanted to moisturize my hair the natural way and read about people using coconut oil on their hair and scalp. I thought that sounded like a great idea and coated my hair with coconut oil and massaged it thoroughly into my scalp and left it in for over 24 hours on three occasions (that I can think of). Then I read some more about it and found reports of people that noticed a significant hair loss after using coconut oil like that. Well, the coconut oil clogs the hair follicles and that might cause the hair to fall out. So now you know, do not rub coconut oil into your scalp. It didn't work for me and my hair didn't feel noticeably moisturized afterwards anyways, not more than usual after using a good conditioner. Now I REALLY regret using that coconut oil on my hair and scalp (I'm sure it works for some hair types but not on mine). To me my hair is now thin. Long and thin. That looks bad. I still have a lot of hair (compared to some people) but NOT like before. So now I'm sad. 😥 Well, I could also be losing hair cause I'm getting older, some people do experience hair loss when they get older. Now I'm even more sad! 😥 😥 Then of course there is one more possible explanation.....some evil and jealous Baba Yaga might have put a curse on me but I am sending the same curse back at the Baba Yaga tenfold.
I like to try new products for my hair all the time. So I recently tried the Mane'n Tail shampoo and conditioner, I have the leave in conditioning spray but haven't tried it yet. I got an Aveda shampoo that is supposed to exfoliate the scalp. It's from their new Invati product line for thinning hair. I also found some serum Phytocyane by Phyto Paris that you are supposed to massage into your scalp for about a month. You open up a vial and rub in the contents two-three times a week, again I'm lazy but I will give it a try one of these days. It's for temporary hair thinning due to stress, fatigue or pregnancy. I got a leave in conditioner called It's a 10 that I have been using a few times now. I was curious about the Wen products so I got a leave in replenishing treatment spray that I tried and a moisturizing mask that I haven't tried yet. And some other deep moisturizing masks from L'Oreal. Plus whatever other products I'm already using......it seems like a lot but it's really not. I wash my hair every three or four days, less if I'm lazy and don't work. I use shampoo, conditioner and sometimes a deep conditioning mask. Leave in conditioning spray as of lately. I did experiment with the coconut oil, never again. I also mixed egg, olive oil plus a bit of honey and put that in my hair a few times this year and last but the egg made my hair feel weird (the protein in the egg I suspect). Then I color the grays every other month or so and that's it.
No straightening, curling, spraying, blow drying, extensions.....I spend 0 time on that stuff.
I air dry my hair and comb it. That's it. Hopefully my hair will grow back fast ( but since it's long it will probably take a while).