Entries by TATIANA

I have an urgent First World problem, I can't pick my Halloween costume for tonight!
So.....I have three to chose. Farm girl, I actually found this dress in Omaha and it's super cute!



I did not have a basket so I found one today at Rick's 2nd Hand. Then I made it look more Halloween-ish.



Butterfly Princess......although my rhinestone tiara is nowhere to be found. It must be in Vegas. It's annoying to have my things divided in between two places.



Or Lara Croft. I was Lara Croft a few years ago and I LOVE her.



Maybe I should just do it like the celebrities (you now Kim K and other divas) and do costume changes. I mean, I am a celebrity too! You know, in my own head. Hmmmmm, not sure what to do. Such a dilemma! I also found out that my friend Reza is playing in Vegas tonight! That is a fun night I will be missing out on with some bad ass HOUSE music. Otherwise I would had LOVED to attend the party at PACHA NYC tonight......KEOKI is playing. I loooooove Keoki. There are so many fun parties going on......what the hell, I'm in Kenai.....what is WRONG with me? Oh well, regardless I will be looking great tonight. I have a feeling I will see both Reza and Keoki sometimes in the not so distant future anyways.

Today me and Chhaya went for a walk at Centennial Park. It was so nice out and as you can see the Kenai river is not frozen yet.....



After that we went to Arc lake for a walk around it, we were there yesterday too. Well today I heard loud eerie sounds.....coming from the frozen lake. I did not believe it at first, really strange......sounded like lasers or sonar sounds for a lack of a better description. I actually put my face down on the ice and pressed my ear against it and yes indeed, the sounds were coming from the lake. Unreal! Even Chhaya was spooked, when the sounds would come her heckles stood up. There is no snow on the lake so you can see straight down to the bottom, the ice is like crystal. Very beautiful. Check out the crack in the ice.

It's Halloween tomorrow. I honestly don't know if I will do anything, I am back in Kenai and not in the mood for much of anything. Do I want to go to any of the local bars and be around drunk people? No. There are no raves a la Monster Massive here, only smoky bars. I am definitely back in the Kenai slump......maybe I just go to work although working on Halloween is almost like working on your birthday or New Years, not days I want to work on. But at least at work I will (most likely) have fun. Or I can always stay at home and watch scary movies, light some candles and eat ice cream. Now......there is the costume dilemma. Am I going as a bad piggy or a perv this year? I have a very difficult time deciding. Both costumes are just super cute! Can I start off as a piggy only to change into the perv costume later?

After spending too long in bed today tossing and turning, thinking.....I finally got up.
Things are not going to change just because I'm feeling a bit sad and unmotivated.
If anything, not doing anything will only make it worse. I almost always feel bad if I completely waste a day without doing anything productive. So I'm back to my frequent routine, latte and muffin at Coffee Roasters, typing away on my laptop. I have some good news about caffeine by the way.....well, I never thought that caffeine was bad for you but some people think so. But here it is, "You’ll live longer having an espresso in the morning! Studies show people who have moderate caffeine consumption actually live longer, healthier lifestyles. Caffeine consumption can be very healthy and reduce the incidence of certain neurological disorders, increase alertness, and the rate of preferred body fat." This is according to some buff and fit guy called Harley Pasternak.



OK.....the news here in Alaska, gay people can legally get married now. The courthouse here in Kenai has performed a couple of same sex ceremonies already since the ban on same sex marriage was lifted recently. I am open minded, I don't care. Straight, gay - doesn't matter to me. I am only against pervy old men marrying young girls, like the whole Courtney Stodden disaster. Hi pedophile! I also think that a man married to several different women is strange and I have to wonder about the reasons behind that. Not my cup of tea. My thoughts on marriage......I'm not sure, I am for it and also against it. I think people give up too fast on their relationships when things get tough. And I'm not talking about giving up if you get subjected to some obvious deal breakers. But people replace each other quickly. But first they show off by going through a whole lavish wedding ceremony where they loudly declare their undying love for each other, exchange vows and yadda yadda yadda to everybody that cares to listen and even to people that don't want to hear about it.....only to divorce a few years later.
Yeah, whatever. What happened to the love and the vows?
It's the same when people post the most ridiculous declarations of love for each other on Facebook when in reality they have rather shitty relationships where they argue and beat each other several times a week. Everybody argues, well most couples will at some point but hey.....slapping each other around on a regular basis is not normal. Or is it? I have when angry at a boyfriend been violent also but NOT on a regular or weekly basis. In between the angry blowout fights I want and need a good, solid and peaceful relationship.
You want to know who I will love until the day I die without a doubt in my heart? Chhaya.
My Mother and my brother and the friends I have in Sweden that I grew up with. The people that really know me, the people that I can trust, the ones that are there for me no matter what and that I know have nothing untrue or bad to say about me. They only have good intentions towards me. Those are the ones I truly love. And then I have accumulated a handful of people here in the US that I also care very deeply for.
What is WAY MORE SERIOUS than getting married to somebody is the person you pick to have children with. You can always get a divorce if you are not happy with your spouse.
But you can never change who you choose to reproduce with. So pick wisely. I don't know what I would do if I had one or two kids with somebody only to separate later and then have to sit back and watch my ex subject my children to his future girlfriend/s. No way! I would be so worried that the girlfriend would be irresponsible/mean/not caring etc etc. There is a plethora of things that could go wrong. You can only hope that the person you separate from has enough common sense to make wise decisions, putting the children first. And I see plenty of examples showing the opposite.
Anyhow......Chhaya is waiting. We are going on a walk. It's cold here, I'm wearing long johns but there is no snow yet. That's a good thing.

Oh Mama June.....I'm so disappointed in you. According to the RUMORS, Mama June is ALLEGEDLY spending time with a man that did ten years in prison after being convicted of sexually assaulting one of her four daughters. He did time, that is a FACT.
Why Mama June, why? There are so many other men out there. Why do you have to go back to the one that did this to your own daughter? Even if you are not romantically involved with him again, why are you even spending time with him?
Statistics prove that sex offenders often re offend. My solution is mandatory chemical castration for rapists and child molesters. Actually forcible chemical castration is the law in Poland for child molesters (when they rape). GOOD!
I have watched "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" a few times, maybe four. I have marveled at Mama June and her family, the way they live and their habits of farting, burping on camera and on top of each other and being rather distasteful in general but at the same time they seemingly have lots of fun and are full of love. When the cameras roll at least. I also admired mama June's dedication and knack for couponing, I have written about that before. TLC has since this information about Mama June spending time with the child molester ex boyfriend stopped the show. They packed up and got out of Mama June's house quickly.
It's always so surprising and sad when women do this to their own children. Pick a man over the safety and well being of their own child/children. Once you become a parent your child is the most important person in your life. Not a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Mama June is far from the only Mother making a choice like this. I have read, heard and personally seen plenty of examples of unfit Mothers or unfit parents in general. I don't have kids, first and foremost for selfish reasons and secondary for the reason that I believe this world is over populated and not safe.....why would I want to contribute to over population or subject my child to the evils of society? But I do know that if I had a child I would be an amazing Mom. I just know. That is just my natural way of being. Maybe one day I will have a child, or maybe not. Right now I have my baby Chhaya.
I can't stand people that mistreat their children. Monday evening on the plane ride from Anchorage to Kenai some young Mom that I suspect had a few too many drinks (cause she was so loud) was proudly telling everybody within earshot that she won't quit smoking because it's the only thing that keeps her from strangling her two year old daughter. She was also not happy to be going back home to see her annoying kid. Now who talks like that about their own child to strangers? Sure, kids are a handful and many Mom's are overworked and tired but come on now! She did not sound like she was lovingly joking around about her little terror, she sounded fed up and like the cigarettes were her only joy left in the world. Trashy, trashy behavior. Poor kid having to grow up with a "Mom" like that. I'm sure she attracted an equally stellar man to mate with. Why people are allowed to reproduce without passing a mandatory parenting test with flying colors is mind boggling.

It's not even 9 PM and my tired and old ass is already in bed, like a retired grandma. I should be ashamed over myself.....dancing at my ancient age! How dare I? I mean, I can barely stagger around on stage without my cane.
I got some mineral bath salts at Whole Foods called "Tired Old Ass". Perfect, like made just for me! Thought I would try it out. Got some for Mandy's tired old ass too.



I got my autumn decoration out of the box today. I only have one here in Alaska, this glass pumpkin. In Vegas I have a box full of autumn and Halloween decorations. Went into town for my latte from Kaladi, got my mail, did errands....found some chocolate I decided to try. Something called "Bapchi's Caramel Toffee Bar", I like trying new chocolates out. This one was OK but far from the best chocolate I've had.



Recent pic of my old self. Enjoy and admire!