Welcome to Chaos !!

It's almost 2 am Christmas Day here in Anchorage, Alaska. So Happy........Holidays, whatever and however you are celebrating........or not.
Tatiana has a tree, not a live one, some candles and a Swedish traditional angel chime. She ate lots, LOTS. Kind of disturbing how much, considering there are people that didn't eat at all today.
Now she is going to slowly wrap up the night and go to sleep. Thoughts racing from family and friends, people close to her heart, to life in general, things that have to get done, that she is feeling fat after all of the food ingested today, happy to be alive but sad for many of the things that go on in the world, wanting to go to a warm beach soon, wanting to do this or that, needing to do this or that. But for now, Tatiana is going to sleep. Tatiana thoroughly enjoys sleeping, soooooo nice!
So have a wonderful day and GOD JUL to all of you!
HUGS!

Tatiana saw "Avatar" tonight. She loved it!!! The story line is pro life, pro green as in save the planet and against war.
Tatiana wishes she had those sensors at the end of her hair too, she would intertwine herself with Chhaya. And Tatiana would rather live at the planet Pandora instead of this planet. She would much rather be connected to nature and the animals instead of spending time doing meaningless errands and writing checks for a mortgage that's not going anywhere good.
And the holy tree in the movie? Tatiana thinks those exist here among us, there are ways to get those memories and that wisdom for those of us in search of that, Iboga and Ayahuasca can be paths to that kind of information. Paths that Tatiana would like to explore and experience one day.
Go see Avatar! Or rent it when it comes out. But see it.

So a few days ago Tatiana lamented about how unusually lame it was at work all last week. Super lame ok?!
Well, then tonight (actually last night, it' early Tuesday morning now) Tatiana goes in to work, a Monday and it was fun and time flew by. Funny how one night can be so awful and the next great. It's not like Tatiana changes the way she looks drastically from one night to the next. It's pretty much the same look all the time, long hair and just Tatiana. Mean and bossy. You know, the usual.
What makes a night fun? When there are nice, interesting, cool people in there that happen to be there for the right reasons, the girls, not to sit glued to the same bottle of beer all night, looking like a deer caught in the headlights when getting approached by us.
If every night was like this last one Tatiana would gladly work 100 nights in a row. But then some nights are so mentally draining that Tatiana really needs a night off. Seriously, Tatiana feels like she has to deal with societies all crazies at times. With not enough compensation. By far.

.....while Tatiana was wrapping up the shopping, her friend Rose-Marie in Sweden called and asked if Tatiana heard the news. No, said Tatiana, no tv watching so far. Rose-Marie told her that Brittany Murphy died earlier today, to all of you that don't know who she was, she was an actress but she also sang on a supercool song, a collaboration with Paul Oakenfold, "Faster Kill Pussycat". Tatiana likes that song.
Brittany only made it to 32, she was a super cutie and super skinny (hmmmmm). It's kind of unusual to die that young, unless there is a pre existing condition or if you live in a poor, developing country where people don't live that long.
Tatianas verdict? Drugs. Or some kind of foul play. Hello, it's Hollywood. And all what that entails.
Tatiana thinks that drugs can be GREAT. She grew up thinking they were bad, so she stayed far away from them until she did her first E at Club Utopia in Vegas. It was great. And she does not regret any of the times she has done drugs. But it's more of an occasional thing. When it becomes part of every day life it becomes a problem. And in Tatianas opinion this includes prescription drugs too.
Tatiana rather be on E or shrooms once in a while than take some kind of a prescription pill every day.

So......here's Brittany, looking gorgeous.......

Tatiana worked Monday through Saturday this week, the whole week was awfully BAD. So to all of you that have the imaginary impression that dancers make "tons of money" - think again. Not only was the money bad, that was just one thing. But the club seemed to be populated by obnoxious, intoxicated, really annoying people the whole week. It was a bar crowd, unfortunately it's been a lot of that lately. It's really too bad because the people that do like strip clubs might get turned off by the young, immature, rowdy bar crowd. It is still a strip club, supposedly! But sometimes it's seems like it is a bar with girls walking around in revealing outfits. And there were way too many women in there, for the wrong reasons, to drink, stare and take up space (most of them have fat asses and horse faces). And no, Tatiana is not talking about the dancers now, regular women, why they go in there if they are not even the slightest bit into it, is just weird to Tatiana.
Tatiana thinks that the Bush Company should start charging a small entrance fee, like $ 5 or $ 10. That would probably eliminate some of the people that shouldn't be there in the first place. If all you want to do is get wasted, go to a bar, there are plenty of those in town. Tatiana is not at all interested in trying to talk to people that are so drunk they can hardly walk or put together three words into a sentence. Last night she got two drinks spilled on her, gross. There were drunk people in there last night that acted like they were mentally disturbed, severely so. Bleh.
Tatiana can't express enough how elated she is that she is not dealing with THAT tonight. Silence. Is golden. So very true.

So most of the Christmas shopping is done. With mixed emotions. Tatiana loves giving, but sometimes it is just too much, the pressure, the guilt, like the obligation to have to give. All the gifts to Sweden and Vegas are sent. All the Christmas cards.
And in a while Tatiana is going to go and deliver some toys for the "Toys For Tots" drive. This is probably the best part of the gift giving. Tatiana is very happy with the gifts she got this year for the kids, she hopes they will be happy when they get them. Tatiana doesn't necessary like to be around kids, especially whiny ones. BUT she feels that the least she can do for Christmas is to put a smile on some kids faces.
Ok, enjoy this Sunday.
Next week Tatiana is going to go and see "Avatar". Bye for now.