Welcome to Chaos !!

The last few days Tatiana has been feeling really down, more so than regular PMS, though it's been PMS too. On top of the SAD.
She thinks that she has SAD, meaning seasonal affective disorder, also known as winter depression,
or winter blues. She has some of the symptoms.
You know - sleeping a lot, acting totally crazy and insane, ready for a 5150 intake.
Anyways, she decided to face the SAD with longer everyday walks and more work.
Went to work tonight, well technically last night because it's a little after 2 in the morning now.
It was great!
Nobody came in. LOL. So Tatiana entertained herself with taking self portraits. No better entertainment than that when you are bored.
So here is Tatiana with her lastest MAC lipstick, it's called SNOB. Tatiana loves the name.
Though 0 money at work, Tatiana feels good. And looks even better. Maybe SAD was only making a quick appearance?
Tatiana sure hopes so.




Some late night thoughts.....why did Beyonce need a C-section? She looks like a well developed woman in her hip area. What is up
with the trend for more and more C-sections? Women don't want to push out the baby the regular old fashioned way anymore?
Maybe they are worried that they are going to get a loose and saggy VAGINE or something?
Anyhow......Tatiana is annoyed with the rise in C-sections. It seems weird, like women are getting it for the man in their life,
or future man they hope to snag. That is lame.
And some are scheduling the delivery date, so it fits in their schedule. Lame too.

Also, before going to work Tatiana watched "The Bachelor". All those, mostly pathetic, women fighting over some guy named Ben.
Sure, maybe one or two of them really do feel that Ben is made to be the man in their life.
Tatiana understands, she has cruches too. HELLLOOOO CHESTER!!!!! Where are you already?
But do mostly all of them really need to make total fools of themselves? Tatiana just wants to slap them hard.
It's good that he got rid of that psycho Jenna. Her occupation btw besides alcoholic and crying psycho? She is a "blogger".
Is that how she makes a living? Tatiana got curious of course and looked up her blog.
If you are curious too, it's not much to talk about.
But what a nutcase! Unlucky guy that ends up with her.
If she gets a guy after this. Eeeeh......maybe not?
If you really have to be on a lame show like this, you need to be the cool chick, whether you end up with the guy or not is irrelevant,
what matters is your integrity. Hello bitches, wake up!!!

Earlier today while out doing errands Tatiana saw this man, with his sign, protesting against Wall Street.
Alone. Just him. Wow.....Tatiana was impressed!
It is one thing to be protest with a bunch of others and a whole different thing to do it alone.
What a mensch!
Have to add that it's cold out. Tatiana is not exactly sure how cold it was today, below 0 for sure.
And today when Tatiana took Chhaya for a walk her fingers got soooooo frozen that she had to run back to the car, close to tears cause it hurt
so bad. It took forever for her fingers to thaw up and feel normal.
So for him to be out there in the cold, standing up for his beliefs.....that's something.
Tatiana gave him a thumbs up, a smile and a nod - she hopes he saw it.

It's only 9 30 pm here and Tatiana is already in bed, feeling lethargic and fat. It's called PMS.
There is no reason to be tired but Tatiana could probabably fall asleep instantly. Feeling borderline exhausted.
What she needs is a walk outside, preferably in bright sunshine and a few gym visits with lots of cardio and sweating.
There hasn't been any cardio since she left SD in November (some runs in the park). And it was ages ago since the last time Tatiana went
to the gym. She feels like BLLLLLLEEEEEEEEH. Didn't even want to look at herself in the mirror after her evening shower. Instead she pulled on
her jammies really quick. Tomorrow is a new day, need to make the best of it. Gym this weekend maybe?

When I got back a little while ago with my coffee I caught a glimse of Angelina Jolie on Anderson promoting her new movie that she wrote and
directed, "In The Land Of Blood And Honey".
I've said it before.....that woman is gorgeous , she does not need any photoshop. She looks just as beautiful on tv as she does
in a magazine. She does not have any bad angles.
So I have quite a few friends from former Yugoslavia in Sweden and I remeber the Yugoslav War, though it didn't affect me personally
(besides that I sat through some heated discussions) but more so my friends.
I was even engaged (!) to a Serb, Alex. So I was around people from that part of the world a lot.
Me and Alex broke up, it was young puppy love, we wanted to prove our love for everybody, therefore the engagement. We never set
a wedding date. But it was fun,cute and crazy while it lasted.
I spent lots of time with girls from former Yugoslavia, I think I have most regions covered, Macedonia, Croatia, Serbia, Slovenia. I even went
to a few Macedonian parties and learned how to dance their folk dances. Biiiiiitolaaaaa........!

On Anderson today they talked about Women For Women, an organization helping women survivors of war to rebuild their lives.
I think it's a great thing to do, you can sponsor a woman and communicate with her regarding her progress and life. I might do that.
I realize how fortunate I am to sit here in a warm house, with my choice of what I want to eat everyday. In peace and quiet.
And for that I am grateful.

www.womenforwomen.org

Got a new book yesterday, "There Are Things I Want You To Know About Stieg Larsson And Me", by Eva Gabrielsson.
Eva is the woman that was together with Stieg for 30 years, they lived together but since they never had children and didn't get married
before his sudden and unexpected death, she had some problems with book rights, money etc. Legal stuff.
(Stieg is the author of "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" books.) So it's basically Eva's story.
What I can tell you is that it seems like there might be a fourth book coming eventually,
"The Vengeance Of God" judging from the info in this book. Yeay! I can't wait, because I love Lisbeth. Besides that, the book was rather boring - though I feel bad for Eva.
But I do want to quote some lines from it regarding coffee,"People often ask me if the Swedish drink as much coffee as the characters do in The Millenium Trilogy. Well, we drink a lot indeed, given that Finland is the only country in the world that consumes more coffee than we do."

I can tell you that when I go home to Sweden for a visit, I spend a lot of times in cafés, sipping on a latte, having a sandwich, pastry or some pie.
There is some really good pie in Sweden, I prefer the blueberry or rhubarb with the most delicious vanilla sauce. Vanlijsås.......I NEED!!!
I always meet up with a friend or two and chat away. There are a ton of cafés in Stockholm, nobody is too busy for "en fika". There is more of a "taking time to meet my friends" culture there, I think. Here people are "too busy" and much more focused on themselves,
which I do not like at all. (My experience.) If you are too busy for your friends then maybe you should change your lifestyle? Seems like a sad life to me.
I have always prioritized my friends but I have noticed that many of the people I know here, don't feel the same way. I should probably get rid of those "friends". I will most likely be better off without them.
Anyhow, speaking of coffee......I am going to start the car, let it warm up and go get a coffee.
It is snowing. I did not go to work last night. I was too tired.....But I think I am going tonight.
Here is some Swedish coffee, Gevalia.

Woke up a little after noon, slept for about 11 hours. Tatiana noticed that she sleeps more in the winter time. Like a lazy bear.
A cold day again. Tatiana hopes it will warm up somewhat, to at least a few degrees above 0, Chhaya needs a longer walk already.
But she does not want to be outside for long when it's cold, she skimpers around looking very miserable.
A little bit after waking up Tatiana drove to get her coffee and stopped into a store for some items.
Back home again, while sipping coffee and eating cornbread with butter, Tatiana curled up on the couch and watched the Justin Bieber
movie "Never Say Never". She wanted to see it a long time ago with Mikey but he refused. It was actually a really cute movie, well a
documentary on how Justin made it. He is actually really talented. And of course, tons of footage of screaming girls.
Back in the day Tatiana had the biggest crush on Nick from Backstreet Boys. She even went to a BSB concert. And was convinced that
she would meet Nick someday, well that crush faded, lol. Like many others.
After that Tatiana fed all her little outdoors friends, Chhaya is obsessed with the squirrel.
Then some cleaning and laundry. Dinner.
Now a bath. Put on pink jammies and crawl into bed.
Thinking about working tomorrow. Diann the manager wants Tatiana to help her order sex toys for a toy party. She must think
that Tatiana is some kind of a sex toy expert or something? LOL. Far from it but she can recommend LELO. Swedish company.