Welcome to Chaos !!

Well, over the years I have done a bunch of photo shoots - I am by no means a Gisele Bundchen or Kate Moss ( I wish I was Kate) but I am decent.
I love photography, fashion magazines, beauty shots etc so to me it is fun to play model.
Most photographers I had the pleasure to work with have been professional and nice. I have some photos of myself that I am very happy with. But there are always exceptions. Once I met a slightly creepy photographer that kept on compliment me on my figure during the session.
Sure it is "nice" to get compliments but come on! And then he said something weird about my boobs and sucking on my nipples! Talk about awkward and creepy! AND gross! I basically shot him an icy look and said ICH DON'T THINK SO! I don't let random pervs suck on my boobs, what do I look like, a milk cow? YUCK.
Then I've had two photographers that did not deliver what they promised........the pics. And that really pisses me off. If I hold up my end of the bargain, my time, presence and efforts - then they should too. One incident was back in 2007 and I have kind of given up on getting my pics from that shoot, some of the pics were really cute, involving me in a girl scout uniform and also next to a huge teddy bear.
Well, then I also did a shoot last October while in Vegas. That guy is also not giving me my pics. And I am still dealing with him. What is making me upset is the way he is corresponding with me about this, he is angry, rude, making things up, though I have proof in form of emails but what really upset me is that in one of his emails he refers to me as a stripper in a derogatory manner. His words, "guess being a stripper in a bar is easier, since men pay you without you having to do anything but allow them to look at you naked. Stick with that "career".... It seems to be working for you." This man considers himself to be some big shot photographer, he is at least 30 years (or more) my senior, large, burly and extremely rude. I guess that my stripper career didn't bother him at all during the photo shoot. HA! Until that remark I had been very polite though I've felt annoyed because I think that he had more than sufficient time to get his thumb out of his ass and deliver me my pics.
He blames all of this on ME - of course, it is ALWAYS the models fault but see I am a rather organized and orderly person and I know that I have no fault in this. Funny how some men never admit their fault in a situation, maybe they think they are more important than they really are, like in this case.
Bringing up that I am a stripper has nothing to do with that he is not keeping his promise, it is just a way for him to try to put me down, make him feel better about himself. Let me tell you something, I'd rather be a stripper and a good person than an ass like him. Besides, I talked to another girl that has dealt with him and she told me that he has a reputation of being difficult and rude to the models he works with, he even stiffed her on some pics!
I wish I knew this before I spent about 7 hours of my valuable time with him for NOTHING, besides feeling upset now. He might be one of those men that hate women, he belongs in a Stieg Larsson book. I need Lisbeth to come and help me.
I should get in touch with Gloria Allred so she can lay down the law on him! Maybe I will call her on Monday.......

Besides this, I have been outside during most of the day today and yesterday. Sunny and nice.
I am tanning and enjoying the weather.
Had a vegetable craving, so after work last night I stopped at the store and got some veggies and made myself a large, delicious salad today.
Well, I have to start getting ready for a night of work. You know......my "career" as a stripper IS indeed working for me.......

Here are some pics from my very first shoot with Barry Gallegos back in September of 2007.
We shot all the pics at different locations at Lake Mead in Las Vegas, all was done that day.
It makes me feel weird to look at these pics because time goes by SO fast, TOO fast and I don't want it to!!!
Actually earlier today while laying in bed, still waking up I had a strong feeling that my life is just running through my fingers like sand through an hourglass, I felt very nostalgic. And sad.
It's a strange feeling, a difficult to pinpoint feeling when you sense that you are a mortal being....... Anyways, here are the pics. I think I pretty much look the same. Or? Well......actually I suspect that I might be about five lbs heavier now. But that's ok.
Me and Barry have done many shoots together, he is great and I am very comfortable around him. The pics are not photo shopped in any way to make me look different, what you see is the real deal. To see more amazing pics that Barry took of me in the blog, just do a search for Barry Gallegos in the search bar. 🙂

Around 8 PM this evening I jumped in the tub to start getting ready for work. While laying in the warm water I decided to stay at home instead, take my girl (❤) for a walk, read and just relax. Sometimes I just need to have peace and quiet and tonight was one of those times.
Looking forward to an evening at home with TMZ! 🙂

I just got back from walking something called the Tsalteshi trails here in town with Chhaya.
Sitting on the couch trying to find the energy to take a bath and wash my hair and trying to find the motivation to go to work.
It is so easy to just stay at home. Besides there is an issue at work that is bothering me.
You know how I am, I am very sensitive to any kind of unfair practices at my job, whether it's girls getting away with doing dirty dances, charging less for dances, ripping guys off etc.
I think the rules are there to be followed and when girls don't follow them it really affects my income. So I am kind of annoyed with the place I work at right now.

I am staying in tonight with my best friend Chhaya, resting my body and my mind. Pizza, ice cream and some reading = good evening.
Looking forward to read about a woman I think was fantastic, Marie Colvin - a brave journalist that perished earlier this year while covering the Arab Spring. I admire journalists that are out there reporting on what is going on in the world, to people like me that hide in the comforts of my warm home.
They are brave, I am not.
Also, there is an article about the slaughtering of wolves, that of course I am totally against.
How easy and cowardly isn't it to go aerial hunting? Just more proof that mankind is the true savage on this planet.
And in case you didn't know, Electric Daisy Carnival drew an estimated 340 000 people this year. I just want to put that out there to all the people that crinkle their noses when I express my happiness and enthusiasm for raves and EDM, especially HOUSE music. Like getting wasted in a country bar or some other place is so much better. And NO, once and for all - I do not go to raves to pop E, ok. I have done E, more than once, no regrets, had the best times on E but last time I did it was probably 2006 or 2007. And before you talk about MDMA you should know that it has been used in therapy sessions by professionals in the medical field in the past and talks about starting that again are in process. And not everybody that goes to raves do drugs.
Yeah, really!
Besides I will probaly do E again and have a list of substances that I would like to try if the timing is right, like ayahuasca and iboga. But would I pop pills or snort lines every day or on a regular basis? NO. I am more on a spiritual and self exploring quest when it comes to substances that alter you.
Actually you would probably do less damage to your body and your brain if you would do some quality MDMA once every couple of years than taking that daily prescribed anti depressant or Ritalin. I believe that E opens up your mind.
To finish this off - I guess there is a Scandinavian moment going on with the success of the latest string of authors and movies coming out of those five countries in Northern Europe. In case you don't know, I grew up in Stockholm, that's the capital of Sweden. 🙂
Tack och hej och ha det bra!

"Auschwitz begins wherever someone looks at a slaughterhouse and thinks: they’re only animals." ~Theodor Adorno



"Dogs live in tiny cages above the ground all their lives. They are separated from their mothers at an early age and some are slaughtered as pups. They do not feel what walking on the ground is like. They can not mingle with other dogs other than those in cages beside them. They suffer summer heat and freezing winters outdoors. They are not given water; they have to eat human food waste such as kimchi. They get no exercise. They have been known to have their eardrums burst to prevent them from barking. Every natural instinct they have is thwarted by the inhumane and tortuous conditions they must live under.
Dogs are electrocuted, hanged, beaten or burned to death. There is a perverted belief that the meat tastes better if dogs have high adrenaline levels in their meat before they die. Therefore, some dogs are made to experience extreme fear and suffering in the lead up to their deaths. Some dogs are hanged and then beaten while they are hanging and still alive. Others are hanged and then a blow torch is used on them while they are still alive to remove their hair. Others still are simply beaten and tortured to death. Generally, at the markets, dogs are electrocuted and then their necks are broken.
Dogs are turned into dog meat, dog meat soup, dog liquor, and dog “health” elixirs. Dubious health claims are made about dog products, included the typical claim that it assists male stamina and sexual prowess. Such pathetic claims are made throughout Asia with regard to all manner of animal products to attract equally pathetic male customers. In Korea, over the hottest days of the year, people follow a custom of eating dog meat because it allegedly increases energy. Exercising for health and energy is apparently too much hard work for dog meat eaters."

Taken from koreandogs.org Take a look and see the brutal reality! Do you even care?

I am against ALL forms of cruel treatment towards animals. Animals can't defend themselves. People need to stop thinking that they can take and kill everything they want just because they can. Do I eat meat? I am not going to be a hypocrite and say that I don't, I do eat meat - but not often.
I have been a total vegetarian before. People think they need to eat meat every day - they are wrong. You can eat protein rich grain like quinoa (mother of all grains), it is very tasty and good for you. I eat quinoa. We also need to care more about how the animals are treated during their lives leading up to the slaughter. Could you do this to an animal, mistreat it before you take it's life to feed yourself? Where is the compassion?
My pitbull Chhaya is my loyal, beautiful, wonderful best friend. It hurts in my heart that so many dogs end up this way. I have petted cows, horses, goats, pigs - you name it and seen the goodness in them. I am so ashamed to be a human, I live in a materialistic cruel society consumed by things that are superficial and of no real importance.
Therefore I am no better myself. I know this and it feels awful.
Sure, I can sign hundreds of petitions but will things change for the better for all animals?
It's much easier to read gossip magazines, watch tv and talk about absolute nonsense. I don't like this world. Too much pain and suffering.
And too many people that are too busy to care about anything but their own benefit.
How shameful! Ugh.....I am really sad right now......