Welcome to Chaos !!

So......ready for a rant by Tatiana? Last Friday night was annoying, many of the guys in the club acted like assholes. And I was not the only girl that observed that fact. Look, me and most of the other dancers neither appreciate or think it is amusing when some random drunk yahoo comes up in our face and blurts out, "Smile". Like you are some kind of a smile enforcer, I smile when I want to, not when somebody demands it.....and one more thing, there is nothing wrong with me, I am not mad or sad just because I don't sit around like a deranged person with a constant smile plastered on my face. So thank you for your concern, now scurry away and order yourself another alcoholic beverage.
Then some really fucking lame BILO came up to me towards the end of the night while I was sitting completely content by myself at the bar and tried to strike up a conversation with me.
I was polite and talked a bit but when he announced that he did not want a lap dance (maybe later) then, newsflash (!) yes, I did lose interest in talking. He was not that fun and I found him annoying, especially since he started interviewing me and did not respect my personal boundaries regarding not wanting to answer certain personal questions. Look, just because I work in a strip club doesn't mean that I am available to your every wish and demand, you moron. You do not amuse me or interest me........I was not aware of that I was getting subjected to a Scientology style auditing session by you and that you demand a truthful and prompt answer to every single query you have about me and my life. And then when I actually told him some stuff, it wasn't good enough. Like that I thought work was lame that night. And that I am a feminist. Not good enough. Too difficult for his brain to work around.
It is always better to lie and appear FUN and BUBBLY than to tell the truth. Especially in the US, many people have a hard time handling the truth. It is much better to put up a fake front instead of acting normal. Smile big then feel sad when nobody can see. Well, I am not like that. Then he said I must hate life. How can you even make a statement like that based on a five minute lame conversation? I do not hate my life, I actually quite enjoy it most of the time.
Let me see, the moron was making loud manly bonding noises with his buddies. Which the majority of us in there found irritating by the way. Then he told me he was married. Then he got a lap dance from some girl. So I am going to ASSUME now based on what I saw and heard that he was a loud idiot in an unhappy marriage, looking to cheat. Right? Same kind of assumptions that he made of me, not even knowing ME. The guy went from complimenting me (best looking girl in the club.....not that I cared what he thought about that anyways) to asking to speak to the manager because he wasn't happy with my attitude. Listen, I do not give a fuck about what you think about me. You are lame and I feel bad for the poor woman that is married to your sorry ass. Go home and whine to her, I hope she smacks you over the head with a hot frying pan. Leave me alone. I don't want you in my breathing space.
Complain about me all you want. I am not changing for you anyways. I have a great personality but my attitude is determined by my surroundings and you are lame therefore my might attitude suck at the moment, towards you only. BYE!
I do meet many cool, fun and interesting people at work......if it wasn't for them I don't know what I would be doing with myself in there. I prefer a giving conversation over some lame interview though. When people are nice and fun I can talk forever with no money involved, I do not charge to talk. But I do not have to talk to every annoying person that demand my attention.
Then I met and danced for a really good looking guy. A 21 year old PIG FARMER. He looked like a model and I told him that he should send in some pics or go into a modeling agency.
I could envision him on an Abercrombie poster.

Me at Coffee Roasters earlier today......writing yet another literary masterpiece for all my readers to enjoy. It is foggy here in Kenai this afternoon, I am about to take Chhaya for a walk and later get ready for another night of walking around in my 7" heels.

When I was in Anchorage yesterday I picked up The Anchorage Press, a free weekly magazine. I read the letters to the editor and really like and very much agree with what a person contributed, so I am going to share it with you.

"This is a response to the article "Eating Eddie" (July 4, page 22) about raising, slaughtering and eating a pig. Raising animals to kill and eat isn't bucolic and romantic, it's gruesome and stupid. It kills the best of what it means to be human. Our advances in technology mean nothing if our ethics do not advance as well. Twenty-first century technology has made the lives of humans infinitely better, and the lives of factory animals a true living hell. People believe the lies and deceptions of the meat industry because they want to be deceived, so they don't have to change ("Change is what people fear most, " Fyodor Dostoevsky). What is morally wrong cannot be culturally, scientifically right. Progress means advancing compassion not only to the persecuted of our own sentient species, but to the persecuted of other sentient species as well. Although the author rightly condemns and rejects the factory farm and slaughterhouse, rejecting animals as food instead elevating them to their rightful place as sentient beings that humans have no right to brutalize, must be the goal of 21st century ethics."
- Thomas H. Morse, Anchorage

I agree with this SO much. The part that our technological advances mean nothing if we do not advance our ethics, ring so true to me. Sometimes I wonder if some people even know what ethics mean.....or if they possess any. I try to improve myself as a person on this journey of my life. Sometimes I get lost, off track and forget but I try to better myself. And I do see animals as sentient beings, anyone that has spent quality time with an animal should know that.
Here are my animal friends. Chhaya looking pretty by the wheelbarrow that holds water for the moose that comes through the yard.



And the cat I found in the crawlspace the other day. I don't know if I can keep it but I will make sure to find a home for it if I don't. It is super cute and cuddly.

Here is my loot after the first time on stage this evening, not too shabby. After I unfolded some dollar bills and counted it all, it amounted to little over $ 100. My feet have been very achy lately, I'm not sure if I might need new shoes.....I have to get in touch with the stripper shoe faerie.....yes, they do exist! Not only do my feet feel achy every time I work, I have also been unusually tired while driving home from work, I was almost tempted to pull over tonight and take a nap by the side of the road.......Falling asleep when you are tired feels so good!
I wish somebody could invent a quality machine that you could buy and keep at home that massaged your feet and calves thoroughly, I would buy a machine like that in a heartbeat and I would put it to good use. I love getting massages. But now.....it is bed time.

I had to drive to Anchorage yesterday, it was a hot day and Chhaya was with me. I stopped at Jerome Lake so she could cool off with a swim.
That is Chhaya's head sticking out of the water, she is swimming with a stick in her mouth.
I can't even describe how happy she makes me. My baby, companion and friend.



Look how beautiful she is........! ❤

The other night when I was at the bar stage and older man with white hair gave me this $ 100 bill with the comment that he thought I should have it because he thought I was very graceful and pretty. Lately I have not been removing any clothing on the bar stage since most people that sit around it don't care too much and I am up on the main stage right after the bar stage anyways.



I also gave a girl named Taylor a compliment about her dancing, she moves very fluid and sensual, she rolls her body.....it looks really good. I like that. I don't like any jerky, fast, aggressive or vulgar looking dancing. Everybody has different preferences, I like what is aesthetically pleasing to my eye. She returned my compliment with that she told her sister and her best friend (they also work at the club) that when I am on stage she happily stops everything she does to watch me because she thinks I dance so beautifully on stage.
How nice! 🙂

I found an article the other day that might be interesting for you to read. Click here
Of course she should have her money returned to her. She worked and saved - GOOD for her! More people should save like that. And most bills in circulation have traces of drugs on them, not to mention other gross stuff. That is why I don't understand why some girls take tips with their mouth OR (some) with their VAGINE. It is dirty and looks so cheap and tacky too.
That reminds me of when a guy came up to me and asked me if I would give him a lap dance and then be willing to pick up the money with my VAGINE. LOL! Noooooooo thank you.
I quickly turned things around and talked him into pulling down his pants and pick up the money with his butt crack instead. He did it twice because I wanted to see it again and he didn't need much persuasion, he thought it was funny and so did I.