Welcome to Chaos !!

Here is another entry that I borrowed from The Domino Effect . You can find her blog here

I know @AngryStripper has written something similar, but someone asked me about the most annoying guys that come into strip clubs, and I thought it was a good choice for a blog post.

The Ed Hardy Wearing Douchebag
This guy is usually the loud, drunken, obnoxious ringleader of lesser douchebags. He flaunts his Ed Hardy or Remetee proudly while reeking of Axe body spray. He demands the attention of the dancers and certainly doesn’t expect to pay for it. After all, isn’t that what the Axe is for?

Tatiana's input.....Sorry to break it to some of you guys but it is time to retire the Ed Hardy attire. If you just have to wear it, do so while mowing the lawn or changing the oil in your car. I actually like the way Axe smells. I'd rather get a whiff of Axe body spray than a stinky armpit.

The Suit
This guy plans out his trip to the strip club weeks in advance, plotting his every line. They think they’ll trick girls into thinking they have money by wearing a suit. Guys, we know you didn’t come from work at 11PM on a Saturday night in a college town. Also, we know the credit limit on the Capital One card in your wallet is $300.

Tatiana's input.....HA HA HA, YES!

The Middle-Aged Condescending Golfer
He comes in with a small group of other golfers. You can spot him by his red polo shirt. He’s quick to act possessive and stalkerish. He talks loudly, and usually throws out references to current events that he doesn’t think the dancer will understand. She is, after all, a stupid stripper. Right?

Tatiana's input.....Ugh....I can't stand when people assume that I am stupid and I love it when I do put them back in their place by showing off my worldly skills and sophistication. The days of the "dumb stripper" are long gone. Sure, some girls are dumb but I have met my fair share of dumb guys too. Not everybody can be the sharpest tool in the shed you know.

The Pimp (or wannabe pimp)
This guy’s a gem. He wears baggy clothes, a baseball cap with stickers intact, and sometimes, bling necklaces and Air Jordans or something equivalent. He will try to convince you that you would make much more money just by being his girlfriend. This guy will fuck you sideways with beautiful lines, ladies.

Tatiana's input.....First of all, I do not like pimps and what they stand for whatsoever. I remember a few encounters I had with them while working at Crazy Horse Too in Vegas.
They, unsuccessfully of course, tried to lure me in with promises of Rolexes. I don't even wear a watch. The only Rolex I would be interested in is a quality MDMA pill called Rolex.

The Salesman
This guy is usually an upper middle class dude. He winces when you sit with him and says “Yeah, yeah, I know how it works, I’m in sales” and insists that you give him your best sales pitch. Of course, he probably won’t buy, but it may help if you insult him a bit. You have to be masochistic to be in sales.

The Pro Athlete
This guy is a celebrity, and he demands to be treated as such. In other words, he expects every woman in the club to fawn all over him. And dammit, he wants that attention for free! Chances are, he won’t buy a dance or tip you, but he’ll try to get you drunk so he can bring you back to his hotel room to rape you. Maybe that’s harsh; he might offer to pay for the sex.

Tatiana's input....Yes, some celebs assume that we will entertain them for free. I remember a certain rapper and his entourage being asked to leave the VIP room at Crazy Horse Too in Vegas after not wanting to pay the girls for lap dances. I caught on to this right away, I sat and chatted briefly with him and then I excused myself and moved on, he was not that cute or special. I mean, even Sting paid me to dance for him at Flashdancers NYC.

The Indian Guys
These guys usually come in pairs. Fresh from India, they sit at the stage and don’t tip. They try to touch you, and on the off chance that they do buy a dance, chances are they’ll pull out their cock and expect a blow job. Just remember that strip clubs in India are basically brothels.

Tatiana's input....True. Note the fresh from India, not Americanized Indian guys, they understand the whole strip club things and most of them are polite and delightful. But I know many girls that would not bother with the fresh from India guys for all the above reasons.

Once in a while I come across another dancer's blog. Newsflash.......I am not the only dancer that writes you know! A notable one would be Diablo Cody, a former dancer that wrote the book Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper and the award winning movie, Juno . So this girl dominoxxx is a cam girl and a dancer. Her blog, The Domino Effect is full of good stuff and I found some entries so on point and/or interesting that I am going to copy a few to my blog so you can enjoy them too. BUT note this, I did not write them, dominoxxx did, she gets the credit. What I will do is add my own input to it where I feel the need. So here is the first out of a few that I will share here. About dressing room etiquette.....

1. Keep to Yourself

If you don’t know the club staff or the other dancers, keep to yourself. Don’t be rude, but don’t inject yourself into others’ conversations. Only speak when spoken to, especially in the dressing room.

Tatiana's input......I have been the new girl to clubs a few times when I travel. Some girls are clicky and not welcoming to new girls (after all you are a rival in many ways, especially if you happen to look good too) and some are very welcoming. People tend to feel each other out a bit in the beginning, that's normal. Just like with any job place I guess. But yes, I think keeping to yourself and being polite the first couple of nights is a good rule to follow.

2. Borrowing Things

If you forgot something you need, live without it for the night. Make a note of what you need and put it in your bag when you get home. If it’s something you can’t live without, like a tampon, ask the housemom (if there is one) or ask another dancer, but ALWAYS OFFER TO TIP HER. Frame it like this: “Can I give you a bucks for a tampon?”. Yeah, a buck is expensive for a tampon.. but living in peace with your coworkers is priceless. The same rule applies for borrowing a flat iron, baby wipes, phone charger, body spray, makeup, etc.

3. ALWAYS Ask Before Using Another Dancer’s Stuff

In addition to offering money to use someone else’s stuff, always, always, always ask before you touch someone else’s things.

Tatiana's input.....I agree. If I don't know the girl then I would never just grab somebody's stuff (make up, hair spray, perfume etc.) and use it, that would be rude. Besides, I don't like using other people's make up and perfume, I have my own but you never know when you might need something. Yes, always ask. I would not be happy if some girl I don't know would rummage through my make up bag and use my lip gloss. Yuck!

4. NEVER Touch A Dancer’s Money

The one exception is if she dropped it and you are picking it up to help her. If you’re splitting tips from a shower show and you’re both counting it, that’s different, too. But if a dancer leaves her money unattended on the dressing room table, do not touch it.

Tatiana's input.....Yes, do NOT touch another dancer's money. Especially if you do not know the girl. If I know you and trust you, I don't mind if you move my money to the side. But I usually keep very good track of my money and my stuff at work. Organized.

5. Don’t Leave Your Money & Valuables Unattended

People steal. It reflects poorly on you if you’re willing to leave something valuable unattended. The same rule applies to phones and expensive perfume or makeup. If it’s worth money, lock it up.

6. Don’t Ask How Much Other Dancers Are Making

Just don’t do it – it’s rude in normal life, and it’s rude in the dressing room. If other girls are openly talking about how much they earn, feel free to listen, but remember that a lot of dancers tend to exaggerate their earnings. I advise against talking about how much you’ve earned. Jealousy sometimes leads to sabotage. Also, don’t complain about how much you haven’t made. Get your ass out of the dressing room, because you’re not going to make any money bitching about not making money.

Tatiana's input.....I will talk to the girls I know about money. We do this, if it is bad we will complain to each other. But I am very well aware that girls constantly exaggerate how much they make to......I guess make themselves feel better about themselves? They bank every night when in reality they made about $ 240. LOL. It's called stripper chatter another girl told me once. Dancer's that just talk but nothing they say makes any sense. Some people are like that. If I have a bad night I have a bad night, it is what it is.

7. Keep Your Compliments Genuine

If you truly like a girl’s nails or hair, tell her so. Keep the fakeness to a minimum.

Tatiana's input....I absolutely agree. I am allergic to fakeness and can't stand fake compliments. I can usually tell when girls are genuine or fake. They change their tone of voice when they are fake. I never give fake compliments, what's the point? I don't need to make friends that bad, besides who wants a fake friend anyways?
One more thing I want to add here is that it really irks me when girls feel the need to whispers to each other when others girls are present. That is such Kindergarten behavior, you should had outgrown that stage already. If you share a secret that nobody else can know, go to a private area or wait until nobody is around. It makes others feel weird when people whisper around them.

8. If Someone Asks To Borrow Something

If someone asks to borrow something inconsequential, like a bobby pin, sure, give it to them. There are usually a few dancers that are chronically unprepared and will try to leech. Whether it’s a cigarette, hairspray, phone charger, whatever.. this gets old fast. Some dancers keep things with them that they sell to other dancers at a premium. This can come in handy on slow nights.

9. Stay In Your Area

Don’t spread your dance stuff all over the dressing table. Don’t leave your stuff where stiletto-clad dancers can trip. Clean up after yourself.

Tatiana's input.....Messy girls are annoying. We all share space, often not a very large space. Some girls spread their stuff all over with no concern for others. Very selfish. Always throw away your trash, your Mom is not present, be an adult and clean up after yourself. Also I do not like when people smoke around me (if smoking is allowed in the club) in the dressing room. It is gross trying to touch up your make up or freshen up while somebody is smoking nearby. Go smoke inside the club. And flush the toilet after you and wipe up the pee drip off the toilet seat.

10. If The Housemom Brings Food

And you eat it, tip her. She buys that food with her own money, the club doesn’t give her a stipend. If you eat the housemom’s food, tip her. Otherwise, you’re a leech and it’s a dick move.

11. Don’t Talk Shit To/About Other Dancers

Even if you hate them. No matter how much they try to fight with you, don’t engage. Walk away. Especially if there’s drunkenness involved. Also, don’t talk shit about dancers to customers. It looks desperate and trashy. And don’t think customers don’t tell other dancers – they do. Sometimes they even start it to get their rocks off.

Tatiana's input.....Have I ever trash talked girls I work with to other girls? Yes, I have. Of course. But I keep the trash talking in between me and the girls I consider to be my friends. If I don't know you I am not going to strike up a conversation with you and bad mouth other girls.
I'd rather not talk at all then. Yes, certain girls I don't like, it is more their BEHAVIOR at work I don't agree with. As far as talking bad about dancer's to random guys that come in. That is not ok. IF I consider the guy a friend (there are a few that fall into that category) they might hear some of my opinions about other girls now and then. Also, if I have something bad to say about a girl I will not be fake and pretend to be her friend either. I will be polite enough but indifferent.

12. Don’t Take Photos Unless You Have Permission

If you’re taking selfies in the dressing room and you’re planning on sending them to someone or putting them on a social networking site, make sure you have the express permission from every person in the photo. Not everyone is “out” about their dancing.

13. If You Ruin Something, Replace It

If you spill a girl’s drink, ruin a g-string, or somehow damage her flat iron or something, replace it. It’s the polite thing to do.

14. Don’t Touch A Dancer Without Her Permission

This goes for guys and girls alike.

15. Trust No One

Check out dominoxxx's blog here

Since I have a guest here, Angelica, I have to show her some of the beautiful sights around here. We drove to Anchorage last Wednesday, it takes about three hours to drive there from Kenai. We stopped to pee and admire the gorgeous views of Tern Lake by Cooper Landing.



Then we went to Girdwood to hike the Hand Tram Trail. I have not hiked that in a while and the place I remembered the trail head started was totally overgrown so we squeezed through the thick foliage Bear Grylls (we like him, that is a very SEKSI man!) style until we saw signs for the trail.



I tell everybody about this hike, it is gorgeous and leads to a nice size lively creek that you can either hike down to and if you turn right you end up right across from a pretty waterfall. Or if you are brave, I am scared of heights so I am not that brave, you can get in the tram and pull yourself across the creek while suspended high up in the air. The tram is taken off the rope for repairs now but it is still a great hike. You need to do it if you come to this part of the world. Tatiana told you so!









How to get there? When you drive to Girdwood look for Crow Creek Mine Road on your left. Turn there and continue on a bumpy dirt road. You will see signs for different hikes. You can park at the Iditarod Trail or Winner Creek Trail and follow the signs to your left.

Later in the evening it was Bush Company time for more beautiful sights......!



The next day, lunch at Moose's Tooth. I had the pesto pizza and a rhubarb crisp with ice cream. SO yummy!



Then some sightseeing downtown. There are bears walking around on the streets in Alaska, you knew that right?





A walk by Earthquake Park with great views of the surroundings.



On the way out of Anchorage we stopped at Beluga Point for some pictures.



Another stop in Girdwood, just because it's so pretty there.





I guess you can rent mountain bikes there now and take two of the ski lifts up the mountain and then bravely bike down, it looks like lots of fun but nothing I was prepared for that day. You need to wear some clothes that you don't mind getting dirty or torn and a helmet. I also want to hike up The North Face Trail up the mountain by the Alyeska Resort, if you hike up you can take the aerial tram down for free. Sounds like fun!

We also stopped at the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center to see all the cuties that live there, like these two moose busy eating.



A great couple of days with memorable adventures!

Went to the beach in Kenai this evening.....it was so nice down there. Chhaya thought so too.





Now I am in bed and admiring Sheldon (Big Bang Theory). I LOVE HIM!!! I love that show.....it is sooooo funny! I am tired, I think the floor mopping earlier did me in. It's almost midnight and I am ready to sleep. Sleeping....isn't it wonderful? Good Night from Kenai.

Drove in to town today to get some stuff that I can't live without......a latte and a chocolate covered custard filled donut. Stopped by Pye Wackets and found this perfect cup, it must have been made just for me!



I bought this faerie sleeping on a mushroom. Added her to my large collection of faeires, mermaids, mushrooms, Buddha, Kwan Yin and Ganesh statues, crystals etc that I have in between here (Kenai) and Las Vegas. When I figure out, hopefully sometimes soon, where I am settling, my future house will be decorated with all that stuff and it is going to look amaaaazing!



Then I came home, ate and mopped the floor downstairs. This Goddess likes a clean house. Cleanliness is next to Godliness after all. Right? Haven't decided if I am working tonight. Maybe.....it is Sunday and I tend to feel too lazy to work on Sundays. It's beautiful outside, me and Chhaya are going for a walk now.

I am soooooo tired from work. I know I have been saying that a lot lately, don't know what it is but I am ready to leave the club and go home by 2 am.....is this a sign of old age? I was so not in the mood to work tonight, when I got to work I had to force myself to get ready and change but I am glad I went in and stayed until 4 am, it paid off, I had a good night, people were appreciative and generous, nice!
When I came home I enjoyed a bath and let me tell you.....I am SO grateful that I have the luxury to be able to turn the faucet and fill up a tub with water, lather up my body in soap and get clean. Only a small percentage of the worlds population of 7 billion or so have access to clean water right in their houses. I can't even imagine having to walk for miles to some watering hole and then having to carry the water home. Or rinsing off in a pond somewhere.
I am soooooo grateful for my life. Even though my thighs are sore and my feet ache and are in dire need of an hour foot rub per foot. After my bath I had to make some tea and warm up some of the White Chocolate Cherry bread I got from Great Harvest Bread in Anchorage.
Now I am full and happy, about to curl up and enjoy every minute of my sleep in a comfortable bed with Chhaya next to me. Life is good. ❤